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azombiewritesTitle: The Betrayal
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language, violence and drug use.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest.
Summary: Team Seven believe that Ezra Standish has betrayed them.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Notes: Lenny Hoskins is my creation. I don't have any medical knowledge- forgive any mistakes.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 96,713
Buck finished tying the sling then stepped back to appraise his efforts, he shrugged, and he couldn't do any better than that. If Hoskins wasn't satisfied then he could do it himself. He didn't like being told what to do by that man, he couldn't understand why they all couldn't just sit down with Ezra and talk to him. He may refuse to listen but he wasn't in any condition to physically keep them away from him.
"Why do I have to wear this." JD argued while he pulled at the sling. "There's nothing wrong with my shoulder."
"Apparently it's for Ezra, not you." Buck hadn't liked the idea at first, it was more or less another lie aimed at Ezra but Hoskins had said that it would work.
"Huh?"
"Hoskins said it would get you the sympathy vote, that Ezra won't be angry at you if he thinks your hurt." Buck explained a second time.
JD had been there when Lenny suggested the sling but the result of the plan still refused to register in his young mind. He didn't like lying to Ezra, if he found out there was going to be hell to pay and he thought he would be on the receiving end of that anger.
Buck saw the doubt on his young friend's face and it hit him like a fist slamming into his stomach, the air caught in his throat and he had to remember to breath, if JD was in Ezra's position, he himself would do anything to help him and that was exactly what Lenny was doing for Ezra. If he had to lie to Ezra to help them bridge the gap that had been created between Ezra and his friends then he would, if he had to use physical force he would do that also.
"Could you just wear it for today JD and see what happens." Buck asked him.
"Fine but if Ezra finds out that I'm faking it . . ." He didn't finish the sentence, letting the unspoken words hang in the air.
"Come on, I can smell eggs cooking." Buck slapped him on the shoulder and pushed him towards the bedroom door.
Buck followed JD out of the room, his eyes searching for forms that were already making their way into the main room of the cabin. He spied one sitting on the couch, the figure was watching someone else. "Aw hell." He spoke before he could stop himself, he hung his head in shame when Ezra looked back at him. Buck hadn't expected to see Ezra up at this time of day and it had surprised him, he kicked himself knowing that Ezra would take the two words that expressed his surprise the wrong way.
"I can leave the room if you wish Mr Wilmington." Ezra only saw the disdain that was on Buck Wilmington's face but it was his troubled mind that saw it, not his eyes.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I was just surprised to see you up so early that's all." Buck tried to repair the damage.
"Like hell." Ezra replied. His eyes moved from Buck to the sling that held JD's left arm, he looked away before the concern could register on his features, and something also nagged at the back of his mind about the image of JD in a sling.
Buck nudged JD forward and when the younger man turned to look at him he nodded towards the couch that Ezra was sitting on, the younger man refused to take a step towards the angry southerner but Buck continued to push him until he was too close to move away and sit in one of the other chairs. He sat down next to Ezra and looked at the man who refused to returned the gaze that was aimed at him.
"How you doing Ezra?" JD didn't know what else to say.
"I have a headache." Ezra carefully turned his head until his eyes took in JD's concerned features. "And you?" When he didn't get an answer, he lifted his hand and pointed towards the sling.
"Oh, I'm fine Ezra, just some bruising." JD answered him.
Ezra leaned sideways and looked into JD's eyes, he smiled at him then pulled the sling from his arm, when the younger man didn't grimace in pain he knew the sling was a lie. JD pulled away from him, he expected Ezra's fist to connect with his face but it didn't happen. Buck quickly moved forward, he would defend JD if Ezra threatened him physically.
"Don't bother Wilmington, if I was capable of hitting anyone it wouldn't be Mr Dunne." Ezra glared at Buck, his expression told the man who stood over him that he was the one that would be on the receiving end of any physical altercations that may occur.
"Sit down Buck and stay down." Chris growled at him. "Ezra wouldn't hurt JD and you know that."
"I'm sorry Ezra." Buck moved back to the couch that Chris was sitting on. "I'm sorry about everything, I . . . "
"Buck!" Chris got his attention. "Don't!" It was a statement that didn't want an answer.
"And why not?" Ezra raised his eyebrows in amusement, he thought they would take every opportunity that arose to talk to him about what happened, wasn't that what he was here for. "Do you have a spokesperson that is going to do your talking for you?"
"No but . . ." Chris began.
"Then let him talk, I'm interested to hear what he has to say, besides he's always been a source of amusement." Ezra smiled at Buck and enjoyed the hurt expression that overcame him but it was an emotion that would never equal what he felt when Buck continued to kick him when he lay on the floor of the cell in the ATF building. "Well Mr Wilmington, you have the floor."
Chris now knew exactly what Lenny had meant when he said that Ezra would manipulate the conversation to his advantage, he already had the upper hand on the conversation, and Buck was already looking for a way out so he didn't have to talk about it. Chris was going to watch and learn so he would be more prepared when it was his turn to talk to Ezra.
"I'm sorry Ezra . . . "
"You already said that." Ezra leaned his head back, the Tylenol hadn't started working yet. "And it's going to take more than those three words to show me you are truly feeling apologetic towards my cracked ribs."
"I don't know what else to say Ezra." Buck threw his hands up in the air, the movement showed the frustration that he was feeling. He didn't like the look that blazed in Ezra's green eyes.
"Well then Mr Wilmington, the only thing that I can deduce from that is that my friendship and trust doesn't hold much importance to you." Ezra sneered at him. "So I suggest you go away and give it some more thought before you try to persuade me that you are sincerely regretful about what you did and are continuing to do."
"I'm not continuing to do anything Ezra." Buck spoke quietly, he wished he had never spoken.
"You just assumed that I would actually cause JD physical harm." Ezra shifted his eyes to take in JD's face. "It's not his fault that he allows you to lead him on the wrong path, he hasn't seen enough hardship in his life yet to make his own decisions when it comes to something like this."
"I did make my own decision Ezra, it's as much my fault what I did than it is Buck's." JD informed him.
Ezra held back his shock, JD had also believed him to be capable of doing what he pretended to do. He had told himself that JD had allowed the others to convince him that he had betrayed them but to find out he actually had his own thoughts and feelings, all of them against him, he didn't know how to reply so he resorted to what he was comfortable with.
"Then you have my sincere apologies Mr Dunne because I am now quite capable of causing you bodily harm, and you will pay just like everyone else will." Ezra warned him.
'Oh shit, where's Hoskins when we need him?' Chris thought to himself.
"I won't let you hurt him Ezra." Buck stood up.
"But you'll stand by and let Chris beat the shit out of me!" Ezra gingerly stood up and faced Buck, he knew he didn't have the strength to fight him but he wasn't going to let him get control of the situation.
Chris raised his eyebrows in surprise at the use of his first name. "Back off Buck, that's an order."
"You’re making this too hard for me Ezra." Buck stormed away from the room, he walked through the kitchen and ignored Josiah's shocked expression, the back door slammed shut leaving the tension to answer any questions that Josiah might have.
"No, I'm just trying to decide if you’re willing to put any real effort into this," Ezra sat back down and rested his head on the back of the couch, "obviously not." He didn't speak loud enough for the retreating figure to hear what he said but Chris and JD did.
"I'll go and talk to him Ezra." Chris told him.
"Please don't do anything on my behalf." Ezra's tone was full of sarcasm.
"Buck's going about this the wrong way, he needs to be sorted out." Chris welcomed the smile that crossed Ezra's taunt features.
________________________________________
Buck stood on the porch and gazed out across the lake, he thought of the times he had spent with Chris and Adam during their many fishing trips. He had been part of a small family and like Chris, he had found a replacement with the group of men who made up the ATF team. This made him think of Ezra, was he really part of the family, did he want to be a part of it, he wasn't sure anymore. The man didn't want to try to deal with what happened. He didn't turn around when he heard the door close behind him, he knew who it was and he expected understanding from his long-time friend but he didn't get any.
"You played right into his hands Buck, you walking out like that just confirmed what he thought, you don't want to try and talk to him." Chris stood beside him and spoke without looking at him.
"I sort of had it the other way around." Buck turned to him.
"It was a test, you failed." Chris faced him. "You remember what Nathan told us about the conversation he had with Ezra in the hospital. That when friendship is tested people fail, they turn away from him and that hurts him Buck, you just did it in there." He saw the understanding flash in Buck's eyes. "Next time don't leave the room, stay there, and make Ezra leave if that's what he wants but you stay."
"But how are we supposed to talk to him when he acts like that?" Buck angrily asked him.
"He's only trying to hurt us with his words, but what he says means nothing compared to the way we hurt him, you have to remember that Buck. We deserve everything he throws at us so keep your mouth shut and deal with it." He put his hand on his shoulder. "I know your angry at yourself for what you did to him but your taking that anger out on Ezra, none of it's his fault, your only making things harder for you and easier for Ezra."
"I don't know why I hit him." Buck admitted
"Ezra won't accept that."
"I know." Buck looked at the lake that lay before him, it mirrored the stillness of the air around them, and the boathouse wasn't even moving. "So how are you going to manage talking to him?"
"Me? I'm seriously considering gagging him." Chris smiled.
________________________________________
"Ezra . . . I . . ." JD hesitated, he didn't want to anger Ezra in the same way Buck had.
"Just say it, see if you can do any better than Buck did." Ezra was looking forward to this.
JD took a deep breath and began the speech that he hoped would repair the friendship that he had thought existed between himself and the man who sat next to him.
"I looked up to you Ezra, you didn't treat me the same way the others do, like a kid. You taught me things they didn't." He turned sideways on the couch but Ezra didn't respond, he continued to look into the cold fireplace.
"What you told me about looking at people's eyes and not their hands saved my life at the hospital when Glading came after you." He saw the shift in Ezra's expression and hoped it was in his favour. He got off the couch and sat on the coffee table so he could look directly at Ezra, his own expression showed a maturity that was beyond his years.
"I wanted to help you when you resigned, even after we read your resignation, I didn't want to believe any of it." JD could see Ezra's green eyes and the emotions that flowed through them but the eyes still didn't look at him, he looked over Ezra's shoulder and saw Josiah standing in the doorway of the kitchen, the older man nodded to him to continue.
"When I saw you in that warehouse I thought that everything you told me was a lie, the image I had of you became distorted and I couldn't see past that broken image."
Ezra finally looked up at JD. "You also seemed to have picked up some of my extended vocabulary along the way."
"I'm really am sorry Ezra, if I could change any of it I would, I didn't want to hurt you."
"But you believed it JD, that's what hurts." Ezra looked back down at his hands.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I reacted instead of thinking, I think we all did, some more than others." JD didn't know if he was getting through to him or not, he knew Ezra wasn't angry but he didn't know if that was a good sign or not.
"If it was Buck, would you have believed it?" Ezra didn't want to see the look on JD's face, he never hid his emotions and Ezra knew he would know if JD lied.
"Honestly Ezra, no I wouldn't. For one thing Buck couldn't act to save his life, all he needed was a woman to walk past and he would forget he was undercover." This comment actually received a small chuckle from Ezra. "You were very convincing Ezra, I mean you could convince the Pope that you were God if you wanted to."
"You do have a point JD." Ezra smiled up at him.
"I wouldn't blame you if you didn't forgive me Ezra but could we at least stay friends."
"I didn't realise we were." Ezra stated seriously.
"Why would you think that?" JD asked him.
"No reason." Ezra turned towards the bedroom door, he could see the picture that stood on the dresser in his memory, reminding him that he was never a part of the group.
"I'll need to think about it JD."
"That's enough for me Ezra, I'm not going to push you into anything you don't want to do, your too stubborn for that." JD agreed.
"I'm not that stubborn." He wasn't sure about what JD had said, he hadn't realised that the younger man had considered him a friend, he didn't know how to accept that piece of acknowledgement.
________________________________________
Chris and Buck walked back into the kitchen to find Josiah watching the two men who sat in the living room, he still held a plate of scramble eggs and toast in his hand, the steam floated into the air and fanned around the quiet man's face.
"What are you waiting for Josiah? An invitation." Buck stepped up to him and looked at JD who was talking to Ezra.
"What's the kid think he's doing?"
"He's not a kid Buck, JD just succeeded where you failed, he just retrieved the friendship he thought he had lost." Josiah smiled at him then walked into the room, disturbing the two men who had failed to notice they were being watched.
________________________________________
Ezra tried to eat while being watched by four men, they didn't directly stare at him but he knew that each time his eyes moved to the plate that sat on his lap they would look at him, and when his eyes lifted, their heads turned away. This game continued during the fifteen minutes it took him to eat most of the breakfast Josiah had made for him. When the plate of eggs was nearly eaten clean he leaned forward to put it on the coffee table, but he went too far and a dizzy spell took control of his body causing the plate, fork and eggs to fall to the wooden floor. Someone grabbed his arms and helped him back onto the couch.
"You okay Ezra?" JD asked him, the concern was not hidden from his young voice, he had seen the pale complexion pale even more, if that was possible and knew he was going to fall off the couch, his quick reflexes stopped the southerner from falling and hitting his head on the table.
Ezra nodded and allowed JD to help him, he leaned his head back, the colour of the couch making his taut skin seemingly even more pale, and closed his eyes until the dizzy spell passed. He listened as someone cleaned the mess he had created, he wanted to apologise but couldn't find the strength to open his eyes and speak. Ezra couldn't believe he was about to fall asleep again, he'd only gotten up thirty minutes ago. He had no idea how he was going to deal with the people who sat hovering over him, he needed his strength to physically fend them off when he needed and wanted to but it was beyond him to do so at the moment and it was making him feel vulnerable.
"Come on Ezra, let's get you back to bed." Chris leaned over him and stepped back when Ezra's green eyes sprung open, he saw the emotion that flashed through his eyes, a frown creased on his forehead as if he was concentrating on something that was beyond their grasp.
"No!" He didn't want to go back to the room that reminded him he was an unwelcomed intruder to the family that existed between the other men, the photo that sat on the dresser would be a constant reminder to him.
"You need to get some rest Ezra." Chris tried to persuade him.
"I'll rest here." Ezra laid down on the couch and JD had to get up to give him more room, he made himself as comfortable as he could on his right side, his head resting on the couch's arm rest, he had to bend his knees so he could fit his ailing body more easily onto the confined space. "I don't want to go back into that room."
Chris saw that Buck was about to say something and angrily motioned to him with his hand, his forefinger slicing through the air in front of his throat, to shut up. "Why not Ezra?" The question was spoken calmly so Ezra would know that he wasn't angry about it.
"It's a reminder." Ezra was too tired to argue.
"A reminder about what?" Chris asked him.
Ezra opened his eyes and looked up at his former colleague. He knew that he was never a true friend, he frowned again, this time in confusion, and Chris was never a friend because he wouldn't let him be. He didn't allow any of them to get close to him, how he could blame them for something that he was responsible for, it was what he wanted but a false childhood security told him that they also wanted it, they didn't want a friendship with a man they couldn't trust. Ezra decided that he wanted to tell Chris why he didn't want to go into the room, why he hadn't wanted a real friendship to develop between them but a lifelong defence mechanism prevented him from doing so. He was afraid if he told them they would only hurt him with their response, they would agree with his impression of the false relationship they had with each other, neither of them wanting to admit that they didn't want one to exist. He closed his eyes again, not allowing himself to answer the question.
"What about the other room?" Josiah asked him, he sat down on his knees, facing Ezra and waited for an answer that would give him permission to pick up the smaller man and take him into the second room. He knew he wasn't capable of walking, not at the moment anyway, he was still weak and needed time to build his strength up, time he wasn't sure the southerner had.
"No, that's Adam's room." It was another reminder but for something different, he had seen the room when he was last here and it was still decorated the same way it had been when Adam was alive, he could see the happy childhood in the brightly painted walls, the toys that filled the toy chests, and the books that sat on the bookshelf. The sight had told him what he had missed during his young life, all he had seen when he was growing up were small barely furnished rooms with white walls. "I'm staying here!"
'Then when I get enough strength back I'm leaving.' Ezra didn't voice these words aloud.
"JD go and get Ezra a blanket." Chris watched as Ezra's mouth partially opened, his breathing becoming more shallow as he slipped into a peaceful slumber.
"What was that all about?" Buck wanted to know.
"I have no idea." Chris's answer only caused more confusion.
"Maybe he wants to stay here with us." Josiah suggested, he stood up and stretched his already stiff back, he would have to make sure he didn't sleep in one of the bunk beds in Adam's room again.
"I doubt that very much." Buck grimaced. He knew that if Ezra had the chance he would leave, the southerner always hated it when someone tried to force him into doing something he didn't want to do, he'd always been like that, bull-headed, the more you pushed him the more he pushed back, and he always won, unless of course it was something beyond his physical bounds. Buck's grimace turned to a smile at the return of some fond memories of butting heads with the smaller man on the couch.
JD returned with a blanket and Chris carefully laid it over Ezra's prone form, then stepped back from the couch.
"Why don't we let him sleep while we get some breakfast for ourselves." he suggested to them. After making sure Ezra was comfortable, Chris followed the others into the kitchen.
Buck and JD offered to make the most important meal of the day but Chris and Josiah refused the offer, and they were not polite in conveying their feelings in regards to the two men's cooking abilities. Josiah again volunteered to make the eggs while Chris took care of the toast. The leader of the group wasn't able to concentrate though, his mind wondered back to what Ezra had said, 'it's a reminder,' what could his room remind him of. He mentally took note of what was in the large bedroom, his mind's eye scanning the room that had been decorated by his wife, he could see the rocking chair, the large bed, the dresser with the family photos. Those photos were also a reminder for himself of what he had lost, a family. He could feel the guilt begin to overwhelm him once more, the guilt was what had driven him to drink when it happened, they had died instead of him, that had happened five years ago and the person/s responsible for their deaths was still at large. He mind saw each frame on the dresser, then finally settled on the last one, his new family.
"Damn!" Chris exclaimed.
"You burn the toast again Chris." Buck got up from the wooden kitchen table and made his way to the toaster. "And you tell me I can't cook."
"It's the photo in my room, the one of us on the fishing trip that Ezra came on." Chris turned his back on the toaster, he didn't notice the smoke coming out it, or as it began to flow around him and head towards the opened back door.
"That's the reminder."
"But what does it remind him of?" JD asked innocently, he had no idea of the implications of the photo that held only six faces instead of the actual seven that were in attendance on the fishing trip.
"He was here that weekend JD but he's not in the photo. How would it make you feel if you weren't in it?" Chris finally smelt the smoke and turned around, the thick bread had caught in the toaster instead of popping up like it was supposed to. He pulled the burning bread out, putting an end to its misery and replaced it with two new victims.
"Like I wasn't part of the group, just a visitor who wasn't going to be staying." JD admitted.
"Couldn't have put it better myself JD." Josiah smiled at him, he was having a good day with his sudden matureness, and he knew what to say when the rest of them didn't.
"Smells like Buck's cooking breakfast." Vin commented to Nathan as they entered through the back door into the kitchen, he waited for the rebuttal but he didn't get one. He looked around at the glum faces and knew that something was wrong. "What's happened?"
"Is it Ezra?" Nathan also knew by the expressions that the four men wore that something wasn't right.
"Ezra's fine, he's sleeping on the couch." Chris gave them some relief.
"What's he doing on the couch?" Nathan asked the group.
By the time Chris explained the situation to Vin and Nathan the toast was burning for a second time, Josiah pushed him out of the way and took control of the bread toasting, they were going to be here for two weeks and he didn't want them to run out of bread on the second day.
"Everything clear outside?" Chris changed the subject, he pushed the other thoughts to the back of his mind. He knew he would have to bring the photo's up in the conversation he was going to have with Ezra. It was another explanation that he would have to give the younger man, a man who deserved none of this, he'd only been doing his job, and sometimes he was too good at what he did but that couldn't be used as an excuse, especially in this situation.
"Yeah, it's clear." Vin answered him.
Vin and Nathan had gone out early to check the surrounding terrain for any sign of visitors, they had taken their time, enjoying the early morning sun and the quiet they didn't get to hear in Denver. After sunrise the trees seemed to be greener, the sky more blue and the stillness of the lake would be enough to calm even the most agitated person, if it wasn't for the threat against Ezra's life they would have him sitting in a boat enjoying the calmness of the waters it floated on.
"Where's Hoskins?" Nathan asked Josiah as he took over the job of making the toast.
"Still sleeping, the guy's as bad as Ezra." Josiah smiled at him.
________________________________________
Lenny forced his sleep-glued eyes opened and looked at the blurred numbers on the digital clock that sat on the small dresser in the guest bedroom, he waited patiently for the numbers to come into focus then swore silently under his breath. He hadn't meant to sleep so late, he didn't want to leave the others alone with Ezra for such a long time, they were quite capable of ignoring his request and speaking to Ezra when he wasn't there. Just because Ezra didn't have, the strength didn't mean he wouldn't try to retaliate using his fists. His young friend needed his help and protection, and Lenny was going to make sure that he got it even if he had to use his own fists to keep him safe from any physical or emotional harm.
He dressed quickly, making sure the automatic weapon was hidden in his jeans waistband, and ignoring the pressure that told him his bladder was requesting that he alleviate it of its burden, he rushed out of the guest bedroom. His mind registered the amused glances but he also ignored them, he headed towards Larabee's room so he could check on Ezra before answering to his bladder's needs. He heard someone say something to him but he refused to acknowledge the words, Ezra was at the forefront of his mind, nothing else mattered.
"Hoskins!" Chris tried again, he didn't want to raise his voice to much, he was afraid of disturbing the sleeping form that lay under a thick blanket on the couch. Chris waited until the Federal agent came back out of the room, his worried gaze searching the large living room. "Ezra's here!" He finally got the older man's attention.
Lenny heard and understood the words that were being spoken to him, he moved towards the group of men who shared the two remaining couches. He knelt down in front of Ezra and wiped his hand across his forehead. "Why is here instead of in your bed?"
"The fishing photo, it's the same as the one in my office, he wouldn't go back in there because it's a reminder to him, he thinks he's not part of the family." Chris stood up and knelt down beside Lenny.
"He doesn't have to think Larabee, the photo speaks for itself, and if he was a member of your family he'd be in the photo!" Lenny growled at him, his bad mood becoming even worse at Chris's words, he thought that Larabee was aiming all the guilt of what was happening towards Ezra. He allowed his eyes to move from Ezra's slack face to the hardened one of Chris Larabee. "Wouldn't he!?"
"Yes he would and after all this is over he will be." Chris informed him, he had all intentions of making things right between himself and Ezra.
Lenny, satisfied with the answer, nodded and stood up. "Is there any coffee made?"
"Yeah." Josiah told him.
"Breakfast?" Lenny hoped something was made, the fresh mountain air had increased his appetite, he hoped it would do the same for Ezra.
"Sorry, we've eaten already, so has Ezra." Josiah again answered him.
"You got Ezra to eat something?" Lenny was impressed.
"He wasn't going to but when I mentioned your name," Chris shrugged his shoulders, "you seem to have a lot of influence on him".
"Yeah I do don't I." Lenny admitted proudly. "I just hope it lasts because if it doesn't you guys are going to be in some serious trouble." He was about to go into more detail but felt the agonising calling pressure of his bladder once again. "I'll be back in a minute." He rushed off to the bathroom to answer nature's call.
When Lenny came back, he was more refreshed, his mood relaxed, he passed JD on his way back to the couch that held Ezra's sleeping form. He stopped next to the young man and looked down at his arm, he smiled at the confused expression that looked back at him.
"The sling didn't work then?" Lenny knew the kid wouldn't be able to pull it off.
"No Ezra saw right through it." JD answered.
"And you obviously." Lenny continued to smile.
"JD didn't do anything wrong." Buck defended him.
"No, then why did Ezra know he was faking the injury." Lenny calmly inquired of the man who allowed the older man to defend him.
"Because unlike you, JD can't lie to him." Buck stepped forward. "Ezra could see the truth in his eyes."
"And unlike you JD can't talk for himself?" Lenny's eyes stared at Buck, the anger was beginning to take control of his calm exterior.
"I'm sorry but I don't have a poker face like Ezra's." JD finally spoke. "But I can talk and I spoke to Ezra about what happened."
"You spoke to Ezra?" His eyes continued to move from one person to the next, his eyes now resting on Chris's face.
"Yeah and I think I got through to him, said he needed to think about it though." JD smiled at the back that was now turned to him.
"Larabee, can I have a word or two with you please!" The anger was evident in Lenny's voice.
"Have as many as you want." Chris told him, he wasn't going to allow the agent's anger to ruin the progress that they had succeeded in gaining during the first hour of the morning.
"In the kitchen, I don't want to wake Ezra up." Lenny walked away from the close knitted group, he was going to have trouble keeping them all under control so he would have to get Larabee to do it.
"Sure." Chris smiled at his men then followed Hoskins into the kitchen. "Are you deaf or stupid?" Lenny turned on Chris as soon as he entered the kitchen, he didn't take the time to get himself some coffee and sit down at the table to have a discussion with the leader of the five men who were constantly pissing him off, he was too angry for that.
"I'm neither. Why?" Chris raised his eyebrows at the man who stood before him, he wasn't going to lose his temper like he did when he first met Hoskins, he had allowed the man to get the better of him and he wasn't going to do that again.
"Then you must think I'm stupid?" He took a step closer to Chris, he could see that he was keeping his anger in check and he planned to do the same thing but he knew he wasn't going to succeed.
"I've always thought that." Chris smiled at him but he could see his answer did nothing to anger Lenny any more than he already was, on the outside anyway, he had no idea how he was dealing with this on the inside.
"So you think I don't know what's best for Ezra, that the friendship I've had with him for the past ten years doesn't tell me the best way to deal with this?" Lenny didn't wait for an answer. "You think I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to taking care of his welfare." He ignored the smell of coffee that assaulted his senses, the coffee could wait until later.
"Your being too soft with him, your protecting him from us instead of allowing us to talk to him." Chris argued back.
"I'm protecting him for a reason Larabee, you do remember what you did to him don't you or would you like me to remind you. You beat him while his hands were handcuffed, you gave him a concussion, tore the skin off his face, I have a picture of him up here," he tapped his temple with his finger, "one that keeps reminding me of what he looked liked after you threw him onto the floor when you brought him in to the ATF building!" He saw Chris flinch at the words. "Wilmington kicked him until he cracked his ribs, but what hurt him more was the anger and hatred he saw in your eyes, he's been hurt enough, I won't allow that to happen again!"
"You have my word that he won't be hurt, physically or emotionally." Chris couldn't forget what he had done to Ezra and he never would.
"Your word isn't good enough for me, you haven't done anything to deserve my acceptance of it." It was Lenny's turn to smile.
"Then there's nothing I can say to prove to you that we have Ezra's best interests at heart." Chris walked over to the kitchen counter and leaned against it.
"But there is something that you can do." Lenny answered Chris's raised eyebrows. "You can stop your men from talking to him when I'm not there, I've already asked this twice but they, like you, are ignoring my request."
"Pussy footing around the problem isn't going to help him! JD saw an opportunity and he took it." Chris watched Lenny carefully, he could tell he was struggling to keep control of his anger. "He did the right thing."
"The right thing." Lenny repeated the words then laughed. "What would he have done if Ezra got angry?"
"JD would have been able to handle it." Chris crossed his arms, it was a movement of emotional defence but it was for JD and not himself.
"Mr Sanchez couldn't handle Ezra on one of his bad days, I've told you that before but you won't listen to me!" Lenny didn't realise his voice was becoming louder. "I didn't make this request just for the fun of it."
"Ezra wouldn't hurt JD or any of the others!" Chris protested, his voice was also getting louder.
"And how would you know?" Lenny retorted. "You have no idea what he's capable of doing do you?"
"I know he's not capable of doing much when he's that state!" He pointed towards the couch that Ezra was sleeping on.
"If he got angry enough he could do anything in that state, including beating the shit of you." Lenny spoke calmly but he was fuming inside. He thought differently to what he was actually saying, his words were used to warn Chris of Ezra's capabilities even though he himself knew that Ezra didn't have the strength to carry them out.
"You exaggerating." Chris knew he was.
"Maybe, but give him a few days, as soon as he gets his strength back he'll make you pay for what you did!" Lenny's voice became even louder. "And when he's finished with you it will be my turn, I gave you a promise Larabee and I intend to carry it out!"
"You're welcome to carry out that promise now!" Chris uncrossed his arms and stepped towards the man who equalled his height and build.
________________________________________
Ezra jerked awake, his breath catching in his throat, he could feel the suffocating weight of the blanket and pushed it off his shoulder, and he ignored Nathan's voice and rolled over onto his left side, his head facing the back of the couch and listened to the angry voices that had caused him to wake abruptly. He could feel someone adjusting the blanket that had been caught under his body when he rolled over.
"Go back to sleep Ezra." Nathan's voice spoke quietly in his ear but he couldn't ignore the argument that was going on in the kitchen, he was the centre of that tirade and he wouldn't have it.
He threw the blanket off, allowing it to fall to the floor, he rolled onto his back and sat up. Two faces suddenly came into view and he pulled away from them until his back hit the couch. He glared up at Nathan and Josiah and they stepped away from him, he took the opportunity they opened up for him and pushed himself up off the couch. Hands tried to grab his arms stopping him from going any further but his anger gave him the strength to push them away.
His sock covered feet managed once more to carry him to the kitchen, it helped that he didn't have to navigate the thick rug that hid part of the wooden floor. The voices grew louder as his mind became more alert. Ezra stood at the opening and faced the two men, one of them was an important part of his life, a person who would never betray him like the man who stood in front of him. But Lenny sometimes treated him like a child and this was one of those times.
"Lenny!" He waited until the two men turned to him. "I am quite capable of looking after myself."
"I know that Ezra but I think that six against two are better odds." Lenny hadn't heard or seen Ezra enter the kitchen, he'd been too angry to see anything but the man who still stood in front of him. His young friend had stopped the physical altercation that was about to happen, finally breaking the second standoff that was occurring between the two men.
"What happened is between them and me, there isn't anything you can do to help." Ezra told him, his own anger was building, the tension in the room was becoming thick enough to cut with a knife.
"I can help you deal with it Ezra, I can stop them from hurting you again." Lenny wasn't offended by Ezra's refusal of help, he was independent and always tried to deal with his problems on his own but Lenny was going to help whether Ezra wanted him to or not, just like he always did.
"I can stop them from hurting me and you can help me deal with it later, not now." Ezra was looking at Chris.
"We're not going to hurt you Ezra." Chris gave him the same assurance as he did Hoskins.
"Now why don't I believe that." Ezra's tone was sarcastic. He frowned then clicked the thumb and middle finger of his right hand. "I know, it's because you've hurt me already." The frowned turned into a glare that was aimed at Chris. "All of you did, and I still have the pain to prove it!"
"We didn't mean to Ezra." Josiah's voice joined those that were already in the kitchen.
Ezra turned around to face the other members of the group, he moved towards Lenny and stood by his side, his friend was right, and if he allowed him to help, the odds would be better.
"Of course you meant to, it wasn't an accident, what you did was with intent." Ezra moved even closer to Lenny, he only stopped when his own body touched his, he leant against him, using him to keep himself upright, he felt as though he was going to fall down.
"And you intentionally didn't tell us what you were doing." Vin growled at him.
"If I told you that I was going undercover you wouldn't have reacted, you would have given my cover away." Ezra retaliated.
"Exactly Ezra, you expected us to react and now your blaming us for that reaction." Vin moved closer to him. "You can't have it both ways."
"Tanner!" Lenny gently pushed Ezra aside and stood in front of him, he was willing and able to do what Ezra couldn't and that was defend himself physically, when he knew he was able to, he would allow him to do so without his interference.
"Lenny." Ezra spoke quietly and waited for him to return to his side. "I see that you’re not willing to waste your breath this time Mr Tanner." Ezra stepped forward on shaking legs. "Yes I expected a reaction but my blame isn't aimed at what I expected you to do. It's aimed, and rightly so, at what you did. I didn't expect to be beaten, or to see the hatred in your eyes. I know you never really liked or trusted me but I didn't deserve any of that."
"I did Ezra, I always liked and trusted you, and I still do but . . . " Vin couldn't find the words.
"But what." Ezra stepped backwards looking for Lenny's strength, he was beginning to tremble, the strength continued to leave his body.
"But you can't blame us for what happened." Josiah stepped up to Vin and stood beside him.
"Why not?" Ezra reached behind him and grabbed Lenny's left arm for support, not emotionally but physically.
"You had needle marks Ezra, you looked like you were on something when we found you in the warehouse, where I might add, and you were selling information. Hoskins showed up saying he was investigating you." Josiah remembered how he felt when this happened, he had felt guilty because he hadn't helped Ezra when he thought that something was wrong with him. "And there was the resignation letter you wrote, how else we were supposed to feel Ezra, that letter made us angry, we couldn't react any other way."
Lenny waited for Ezra to say something but he didn't. "Ezra!"
"What?" He knew what he wanted but he refused to justify the letter.
"Tell them for christ sake." Lenny was getting frustrated, Ezra said he could deal with this himself but he wasn't telling them everything.
"Tell us what?" Chris demanded.
"Ezra didn't write the letter." Lenny informed them.
"What?" Chris, Vin and Josiah voiced this together.
Lenny rolled his eyes, he couldn't believe he had to keep repeating himself with these men. "I said he didn't write the letter!"
"Who did?" Chris asked him but kept his eyes on Ezra.
"Judge Travis." He enjoyed the shocked expressions. "The Judge asked Ezra to do it but he didn't have it in him at the time but I'm sure he would have no trouble writing such a letter now." Lenny squeezed the hand that held a death grip on his forearm. "Travis knew you would react, show some anger towards him, that's why he wanted it written but he was shocked by the way you treated him."
"The fact that someone else wrote it doesn't change anything, at the time we thought Ezra wrote it." Josiah continued to explain his reaction.
"No but at least you now know that Ezra never had it in him, you can't hold that letter against him." Lenny knew they planned to use the letter to ease their burden of guilt.
"Why didn't you tell us this before?" Chris asked him.
"No one asked me." The smile on his face mirrored the one that appeared on Ezra's.
"You're not making this easy for us!" Chris told him.
"Why should I, your men are blaming Ezra for something that he's not responsible for, he was only doing his job." Lenny retorted.
"Lenny." It was only a whisper and in his anger, Lenny didn't hear Ezra calling him.
"We don't blame him, I just want him to realise that it wasn't entirely our fault that we reacted the way we did." Vin continued the argument, he hadn't heard Ezra either.
"Lenny." This time his voice was barely audible, but Ezra's mouth moved, his knees were beginning to buckle, he could no longer stand on legs that refused to hold him upright.
"Ezra!" Nathan was the only who noticed, he saw Ezra's eyes roll just before he began to collapse, he rushed forward intending to catch him but Lenny reacted to his concerned voice, the Federal agent wrapped his arms around Ezra's waist and eased him to the floor. Nathan was by his side within seconds.
"What's wrong with him Nathan?" Lenny sat on the floor, he held Ezra up in a sitting position, his back against his own chest. He waited for the ex medic to answer him.
Nathan checked Ezra's pupils and took his pulse, both were fine, he felt his forehead and found a slight temperature but he kept this knowledge to himself. "Too much at once that's all Lenny, take him to the spare room, he needs to get some rest." He stood up and Lenny followed him, his arms holding Ezra the same way he had when he carried him into the cabin. "I suggest we wait a few days before we try talking to Ezra again and when we do we should make sure he's sitting down!" This anger was voiced at both Lenny and the others.
Lenny nodded then walked away from the group but he could feel the movement of the men following him. He carried Ezra into the spare room and laid him down on the bed and pulled the covers up over him, he sat down on the bed and twisted himself sideways, he lifted Ezra's right arm out from under the blankets and held onto his hand.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I wasn't thinking."
"None of us were." Chris agreed with him.
Lenny looked around to see six men crowded into the room, their expressions were ones of concern, only a few minutes ago they were full of guilt and remorse. He knew these men cared but the way they showed their concern caused him to forget what the main objective was and that was to reunite the group of men who worked so well together. Ezra belonged to this collectively closed knit group, he just didn't know it. He mentally scolded himself for making it harder for them, Larabee had been right, he wasn't making it easy for them, he had told the leader of the group that he would help them gain Ezra's friendship and trust back and he wasn't doing that. He looked back at his young friend, the relaxed features causing him to look younger than he actually was, he knew that Ezra was willing to listen to what they had to say, what just occurred in the kitchen proved that.
Now all they needed to do was to convince him to stay within the group and give them another chance at the friendship that he had longed for all his life. Lenny knew his own relationship with Ezra was more like a brother. He cared for him like a brother would, the younger man could confide in him, tell him his fears and hopes, show him the emotions he would never show in front of another person but he wasn't going to be around all the time. He needed new friends, he had to become part of another family and not just the one they had. Lenny knew that if this didn't work Ezra wouldn't be able to cope with it, he'd already had too many failures when it came to friends and his career. He had always loved his job and knew he would be lost without it. If they failed him again he would continue to trust no one or accept the offer of friendship again, he would close himself off completely to everyone and everything and Lenny was afraid that the closure would shut him out also, that he would lose the close relationship that he had with Ezra, he couldn't and wouldn't let that happen.
________________________________________
Lenny rested in the chair that Chris had brought in for him, his feet were stretched out, the booted heels crossed and balanced on the edge of the bed. He eyes continued to glance from Ezra to the view that he could see through the window, he was amazed by the amount of trees that were so close to the house and wondered if Larabee had ever heard of the term 'fire hazard'. When he looked back at Ezra he saw the shift in his body as he rolled over and faced him, he pulled his left leg towards his chest and lifted his right arm until it was positioned under the pillow his head resting on the forearm that was now hidden by the pillow.
When Ezra settled back down Lenny's eyes moved back to the window. He knew the trees would make good cover for anyone who wanted to sneak up on them. He began to think that it hadn't been a good idea to come up here but decided that the same thing would occur if they were in the city, the only way they were going to know that Collins was attempting to kill Ezra again would be when they actually saw him. He also wondered if Larabee's life was still in danger. He wasn't concerned, the man was able to look after himself and he also had five watchdogs that seemed to be keeping closer to his physical proximity than Ezra's. He hadn't asked to be left alone with Ezra, they had chosen to leave the room.
He awkwardly twisted his head towards the door when he heard the soft knocking that informed him someone was requesting permission to enter the room. He didn't answer it, the door opened anyway and Nathan stepped into the room carrying a tray full of food. His gentle eyes took in Ezra's inert form, then turned towards Lenny.
"You didn't have breakfast so I brought you some lunch." He spoke softly so he wouldn't disturb Ezra, his footsteps were just as soft when he made his way to the bedside table. "There's something here for Ezra too, when he wakes up that is."
Lenny looked at the tray and saw the two salad sandwiches and bowls of fruit, he smiled up at Nathan. "A man after my own heart."
"I assumed because you and Ezra are so much alike that you probably eat the same type of thing, besides it's what Ezra needs to get his strength back."
"What I need is a good shot of whisky." Ezra spoke but didn't open his eyes.
"How are you feeling Ezra?" Nathan asked him. He motioned for Lenny to move his feet so he could sit on the bed, he used his right hand to feel Ezra's forehead, and his temperature was beginning to come down.
"I still have a headache and I want to go home." Ezra still didn't move.
"I'll get you something for your headache Ezra." Nathan got off the bed. "The going home part, you can discuss that with Lenny." he smiled at the look the older agent gave him, he turned his back on the argument he knew would begin. Ezra was stubborn, if he wanted to leave, he would fight and argue with Lenny until he succeeded in getting what he wanted but what Nathan didn't know was that the two always came to some agreement, neither of them ever winning the fight.
"Lenny?" Ezra waited for an answer.
"Not yet Ezra, I agreed to two weeks." Lenny put his feet back up on the bed.
"I have to stay here for two weeks." Ezra finally opened his eyes and he stared at Lenny. "Why two weeks?"
"We thought it would push Collins into doing something stupid, he already made one mistake by sending Glading into the hospital." He wasn't going to go into more detail but the expression on Ezra's face gave him a warning, he wanted more information. "And it's an opportunity for the others to talk to you, they’re going to wait a few days though, Nathan told them to after what happened this morning."
"You do know that when I do get my strength back I'm going to leave." Ezra told him, a slight smile crossing his handsome face but only half of it was visible, the other was still hidden by the pillow.
"As long as you know I won't let you." Lenny smiled back and Ezra's grew, the dimples appearing on his left check.
"We've come to an understanding then." Ezra commented as he rolled onto his back.
"Now that we have that sorted out, you can eat some lunch." Lenny reached for the tray, his eyes not seeing Ezra's face but his mind knew his personality. "And you can wipe that look off your face, you’re eating it, it won't be a decent fight if you give me the advantage of you still being weak."
"If you beat me it would be because I let you." Ezra smiled at him, he pushed himself up into a sitting position and allowed Lenny to place the plate that was overfilled with a salad sandwich onto his lap. "Chicken?"
"Looks like it." Lenny lifted the top slice of bread. "And you never let me win, I allow you to lose."
"You just keep thinking that Lenny, and you'll be fine." Ezra took a large bite out of the sandwich.
Lenny put down his sandwich and looked at Ezra, he knew the good mood would only last while they were alone, as soon as one of the others entered the room or Ezra left if, his poker face would be put in place and his mood would take a turn for the worse. "Ezra, are you willing to listen to them when they talk to you?"
"Depends on what they have to say."
"You know what they have to say Ezra." Lenny watched for his reaction, Ezra never wore his poker face when they talked.
"No I don't Lenny, I know what they want to talk about but not what they have to say." He was actually curious as to what the explanations would be.
"I told Larabee that I would help them." He admitted to his long time friend, he hoped that he wasn't betraying him.
Ezra lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "Why?"
"Because you belong Ezra, you may not think your part of the family now but you will, they don't want to lose you Ezra." He watched as the surprise spread across the younger agent's face, his left hand lifted towards his face, the thumb wiping his bottom lip. "I saw the worry and concern when they thought they were going to lose you."
"I wonder why they weren't thinking that when I went undercover?" Ezra asked but he knew Lenny wouldn't have the answer, he would have to ask the others.
"You can ask them in a few days when they start talking to you and I expect you to talk back." He took one of the glasses of orange juice off the tray and took a tasting sip, he grimaced at the bottled juice, and he preferred the freshly squeezed kind.
"If I'm still here Lenny." Ezra warned him.
"You will be." Lenny smirked and inwardly began to think of ways to keep Ezra in the cabin, they would have disabled the cars and boat but they may need a quick getaway, they could lock the doors but Ezra was a proficient amateur locksmith that left tying him to something, he had never been good with knots.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine
Master Fan Fiction List
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language, violence and drug use.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest.
Summary: Team Seven believe that Ezra Standish has betrayed them.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Notes: Lenny Hoskins is my creation. I don't have any medical knowledge- forgive any mistakes.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 96,713
Buck finished tying the sling then stepped back to appraise his efforts, he shrugged, and he couldn't do any better than that. If Hoskins wasn't satisfied then he could do it himself. He didn't like being told what to do by that man, he couldn't understand why they all couldn't just sit down with Ezra and talk to him. He may refuse to listen but he wasn't in any condition to physically keep them away from him.
"Why do I have to wear this." JD argued while he pulled at the sling. "There's nothing wrong with my shoulder."
"Apparently it's for Ezra, not you." Buck hadn't liked the idea at first, it was more or less another lie aimed at Ezra but Hoskins had said that it would work.
"Huh?"
"Hoskins said it would get you the sympathy vote, that Ezra won't be angry at you if he thinks your hurt." Buck explained a second time.
JD had been there when Lenny suggested the sling but the result of the plan still refused to register in his young mind. He didn't like lying to Ezra, if he found out there was going to be hell to pay and he thought he would be on the receiving end of that anger.
Buck saw the doubt on his young friend's face and it hit him like a fist slamming into his stomach, the air caught in his throat and he had to remember to breath, if JD was in Ezra's position, he himself would do anything to help him and that was exactly what Lenny was doing for Ezra. If he had to lie to Ezra to help them bridge the gap that had been created between Ezra and his friends then he would, if he had to use physical force he would do that also.
"Could you just wear it for today JD and see what happens." Buck asked him.
"Fine but if Ezra finds out that I'm faking it . . ." He didn't finish the sentence, letting the unspoken words hang in the air.
"Come on, I can smell eggs cooking." Buck slapped him on the shoulder and pushed him towards the bedroom door.
Buck followed JD out of the room, his eyes searching for forms that were already making their way into the main room of the cabin. He spied one sitting on the couch, the figure was watching someone else. "Aw hell." He spoke before he could stop himself, he hung his head in shame when Ezra looked back at him. Buck hadn't expected to see Ezra up at this time of day and it had surprised him, he kicked himself knowing that Ezra would take the two words that expressed his surprise the wrong way.
"I can leave the room if you wish Mr Wilmington." Ezra only saw the disdain that was on Buck Wilmington's face but it was his troubled mind that saw it, not his eyes.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I was just surprised to see you up so early that's all." Buck tried to repair the damage.
"Like hell." Ezra replied. His eyes moved from Buck to the sling that held JD's left arm, he looked away before the concern could register on his features, and something also nagged at the back of his mind about the image of JD in a sling.
Buck nudged JD forward and when the younger man turned to look at him he nodded towards the couch that Ezra was sitting on, the younger man refused to take a step towards the angry southerner but Buck continued to push him until he was too close to move away and sit in one of the other chairs. He sat down next to Ezra and looked at the man who refused to returned the gaze that was aimed at him.
"How you doing Ezra?" JD didn't know what else to say.
"I have a headache." Ezra carefully turned his head until his eyes took in JD's concerned features. "And you?" When he didn't get an answer, he lifted his hand and pointed towards the sling.
"Oh, I'm fine Ezra, just some bruising." JD answered him.
Ezra leaned sideways and looked into JD's eyes, he smiled at him then pulled the sling from his arm, when the younger man didn't grimace in pain he knew the sling was a lie. JD pulled away from him, he expected Ezra's fist to connect with his face but it didn't happen. Buck quickly moved forward, he would defend JD if Ezra threatened him physically.
"Don't bother Wilmington, if I was capable of hitting anyone it wouldn't be Mr Dunne." Ezra glared at Buck, his expression told the man who stood over him that he was the one that would be on the receiving end of any physical altercations that may occur.
"Sit down Buck and stay down." Chris growled at him. "Ezra wouldn't hurt JD and you know that."
"I'm sorry Ezra." Buck moved back to the couch that Chris was sitting on. "I'm sorry about everything, I . . . "
"Buck!" Chris got his attention. "Don't!" It was a statement that didn't want an answer.
"And why not?" Ezra raised his eyebrows in amusement, he thought they would take every opportunity that arose to talk to him about what happened, wasn't that what he was here for. "Do you have a spokesperson that is going to do your talking for you?"
"No but . . ." Chris began.
"Then let him talk, I'm interested to hear what he has to say, besides he's always been a source of amusement." Ezra smiled at Buck and enjoyed the hurt expression that overcame him but it was an emotion that would never equal what he felt when Buck continued to kick him when he lay on the floor of the cell in the ATF building. "Well Mr Wilmington, you have the floor."
Chris now knew exactly what Lenny had meant when he said that Ezra would manipulate the conversation to his advantage, he already had the upper hand on the conversation, and Buck was already looking for a way out so he didn't have to talk about it. Chris was going to watch and learn so he would be more prepared when it was his turn to talk to Ezra.
"I'm sorry Ezra . . . "
"You already said that." Ezra leaned his head back, the Tylenol hadn't started working yet. "And it's going to take more than those three words to show me you are truly feeling apologetic towards my cracked ribs."
"I don't know what else to say Ezra." Buck threw his hands up in the air, the movement showed the frustration that he was feeling. He didn't like the look that blazed in Ezra's green eyes.
"Well then Mr Wilmington, the only thing that I can deduce from that is that my friendship and trust doesn't hold much importance to you." Ezra sneered at him. "So I suggest you go away and give it some more thought before you try to persuade me that you are sincerely regretful about what you did and are continuing to do."
"I'm not continuing to do anything Ezra." Buck spoke quietly, he wished he had never spoken.
"You just assumed that I would actually cause JD physical harm." Ezra shifted his eyes to take in JD's face. "It's not his fault that he allows you to lead him on the wrong path, he hasn't seen enough hardship in his life yet to make his own decisions when it comes to something like this."
"I did make my own decision Ezra, it's as much my fault what I did than it is Buck's." JD informed him.
Ezra held back his shock, JD had also believed him to be capable of doing what he pretended to do. He had told himself that JD had allowed the others to convince him that he had betrayed them but to find out he actually had his own thoughts and feelings, all of them against him, he didn't know how to reply so he resorted to what he was comfortable with.
"Then you have my sincere apologies Mr Dunne because I am now quite capable of causing you bodily harm, and you will pay just like everyone else will." Ezra warned him.
'Oh shit, where's Hoskins when we need him?' Chris thought to himself.
"I won't let you hurt him Ezra." Buck stood up.
"But you'll stand by and let Chris beat the shit out of me!" Ezra gingerly stood up and faced Buck, he knew he didn't have the strength to fight him but he wasn't going to let him get control of the situation.
Chris raised his eyebrows in surprise at the use of his first name. "Back off Buck, that's an order."
"You’re making this too hard for me Ezra." Buck stormed away from the room, he walked through the kitchen and ignored Josiah's shocked expression, the back door slammed shut leaving the tension to answer any questions that Josiah might have.
"No, I'm just trying to decide if you’re willing to put any real effort into this," Ezra sat back down and rested his head on the back of the couch, "obviously not." He didn't speak loud enough for the retreating figure to hear what he said but Chris and JD did.
"I'll go and talk to him Ezra." Chris told him.
"Please don't do anything on my behalf." Ezra's tone was full of sarcasm.
"Buck's going about this the wrong way, he needs to be sorted out." Chris welcomed the smile that crossed Ezra's taunt features.
________________________________________
Buck stood on the porch and gazed out across the lake, he thought of the times he had spent with Chris and Adam during their many fishing trips. He had been part of a small family and like Chris, he had found a replacement with the group of men who made up the ATF team. This made him think of Ezra, was he really part of the family, did he want to be a part of it, he wasn't sure anymore. The man didn't want to try to deal with what happened. He didn't turn around when he heard the door close behind him, he knew who it was and he expected understanding from his long-time friend but he didn't get any.
"You played right into his hands Buck, you walking out like that just confirmed what he thought, you don't want to try and talk to him." Chris stood beside him and spoke without looking at him.
"I sort of had it the other way around." Buck turned to him.
"It was a test, you failed." Chris faced him. "You remember what Nathan told us about the conversation he had with Ezra in the hospital. That when friendship is tested people fail, they turn away from him and that hurts him Buck, you just did it in there." He saw the understanding flash in Buck's eyes. "Next time don't leave the room, stay there, and make Ezra leave if that's what he wants but you stay."
"But how are we supposed to talk to him when he acts like that?" Buck angrily asked him.
"He's only trying to hurt us with his words, but what he says means nothing compared to the way we hurt him, you have to remember that Buck. We deserve everything he throws at us so keep your mouth shut and deal with it." He put his hand on his shoulder. "I know your angry at yourself for what you did to him but your taking that anger out on Ezra, none of it's his fault, your only making things harder for you and easier for Ezra."
"I don't know why I hit him." Buck admitted
"Ezra won't accept that."
"I know." Buck looked at the lake that lay before him, it mirrored the stillness of the air around them, and the boathouse wasn't even moving. "So how are you going to manage talking to him?"
"Me? I'm seriously considering gagging him." Chris smiled.
________________________________________
"Ezra . . . I . . ." JD hesitated, he didn't want to anger Ezra in the same way Buck had.
"Just say it, see if you can do any better than Buck did." Ezra was looking forward to this.
JD took a deep breath and began the speech that he hoped would repair the friendship that he had thought existed between himself and the man who sat next to him.
"I looked up to you Ezra, you didn't treat me the same way the others do, like a kid. You taught me things they didn't." He turned sideways on the couch but Ezra didn't respond, he continued to look into the cold fireplace.
"What you told me about looking at people's eyes and not their hands saved my life at the hospital when Glading came after you." He saw the shift in Ezra's expression and hoped it was in his favour. He got off the couch and sat on the coffee table so he could look directly at Ezra, his own expression showed a maturity that was beyond his years.
"I wanted to help you when you resigned, even after we read your resignation, I didn't want to believe any of it." JD could see Ezra's green eyes and the emotions that flowed through them but the eyes still didn't look at him, he looked over Ezra's shoulder and saw Josiah standing in the doorway of the kitchen, the older man nodded to him to continue.
"When I saw you in that warehouse I thought that everything you told me was a lie, the image I had of you became distorted and I couldn't see past that broken image."
Ezra finally looked up at JD. "You also seemed to have picked up some of my extended vocabulary along the way."
"I'm really am sorry Ezra, if I could change any of it I would, I didn't want to hurt you."
"But you believed it JD, that's what hurts." Ezra looked back down at his hands.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I reacted instead of thinking, I think we all did, some more than others." JD didn't know if he was getting through to him or not, he knew Ezra wasn't angry but he didn't know if that was a good sign or not.
"If it was Buck, would you have believed it?" Ezra didn't want to see the look on JD's face, he never hid his emotions and Ezra knew he would know if JD lied.
"Honestly Ezra, no I wouldn't. For one thing Buck couldn't act to save his life, all he needed was a woman to walk past and he would forget he was undercover." This comment actually received a small chuckle from Ezra. "You were very convincing Ezra, I mean you could convince the Pope that you were God if you wanted to."
"You do have a point JD." Ezra smiled up at him.
"I wouldn't blame you if you didn't forgive me Ezra but could we at least stay friends."
"I didn't realise we were." Ezra stated seriously.
"Why would you think that?" JD asked him.
"No reason." Ezra turned towards the bedroom door, he could see the picture that stood on the dresser in his memory, reminding him that he was never a part of the group.
"I'll need to think about it JD."
"That's enough for me Ezra, I'm not going to push you into anything you don't want to do, your too stubborn for that." JD agreed.
"I'm not that stubborn." He wasn't sure about what JD had said, he hadn't realised that the younger man had considered him a friend, he didn't know how to accept that piece of acknowledgement.
________________________________________
Chris and Buck walked back into the kitchen to find Josiah watching the two men who sat in the living room, he still held a plate of scramble eggs and toast in his hand, the steam floated into the air and fanned around the quiet man's face.
"What are you waiting for Josiah? An invitation." Buck stepped up to him and looked at JD who was talking to Ezra.
"What's the kid think he's doing?"
"He's not a kid Buck, JD just succeeded where you failed, he just retrieved the friendship he thought he had lost." Josiah smiled at him then walked into the room, disturbing the two men who had failed to notice they were being watched.
________________________________________
Ezra tried to eat while being watched by four men, they didn't directly stare at him but he knew that each time his eyes moved to the plate that sat on his lap they would look at him, and when his eyes lifted, their heads turned away. This game continued during the fifteen minutes it took him to eat most of the breakfast Josiah had made for him. When the plate of eggs was nearly eaten clean he leaned forward to put it on the coffee table, but he went too far and a dizzy spell took control of his body causing the plate, fork and eggs to fall to the wooden floor. Someone grabbed his arms and helped him back onto the couch.
"You okay Ezra?" JD asked him, the concern was not hidden from his young voice, he had seen the pale complexion pale even more, if that was possible and knew he was going to fall off the couch, his quick reflexes stopped the southerner from falling and hitting his head on the table.
Ezra nodded and allowed JD to help him, he leaned his head back, the colour of the couch making his taut skin seemingly even more pale, and closed his eyes until the dizzy spell passed. He listened as someone cleaned the mess he had created, he wanted to apologise but couldn't find the strength to open his eyes and speak. Ezra couldn't believe he was about to fall asleep again, he'd only gotten up thirty minutes ago. He had no idea how he was going to deal with the people who sat hovering over him, he needed his strength to physically fend them off when he needed and wanted to but it was beyond him to do so at the moment and it was making him feel vulnerable.
"Come on Ezra, let's get you back to bed." Chris leaned over him and stepped back when Ezra's green eyes sprung open, he saw the emotion that flashed through his eyes, a frown creased on his forehead as if he was concentrating on something that was beyond their grasp.
"No!" He didn't want to go back to the room that reminded him he was an unwelcomed intruder to the family that existed between the other men, the photo that sat on the dresser would be a constant reminder to him.
"You need to get some rest Ezra." Chris tried to persuade him.
"I'll rest here." Ezra laid down on the couch and JD had to get up to give him more room, he made himself as comfortable as he could on his right side, his head resting on the couch's arm rest, he had to bend his knees so he could fit his ailing body more easily onto the confined space. "I don't want to go back into that room."
Chris saw that Buck was about to say something and angrily motioned to him with his hand, his forefinger slicing through the air in front of his throat, to shut up. "Why not Ezra?" The question was spoken calmly so Ezra would know that he wasn't angry about it.
"It's a reminder." Ezra was too tired to argue.
"A reminder about what?" Chris asked him.
Ezra opened his eyes and looked up at his former colleague. He knew that he was never a true friend, he frowned again, this time in confusion, and Chris was never a friend because he wouldn't let him be. He didn't allow any of them to get close to him, how he could blame them for something that he was responsible for, it was what he wanted but a false childhood security told him that they also wanted it, they didn't want a friendship with a man they couldn't trust. Ezra decided that he wanted to tell Chris why he didn't want to go into the room, why he hadn't wanted a real friendship to develop between them but a lifelong defence mechanism prevented him from doing so. He was afraid if he told them they would only hurt him with their response, they would agree with his impression of the false relationship they had with each other, neither of them wanting to admit that they didn't want one to exist. He closed his eyes again, not allowing himself to answer the question.
"What about the other room?" Josiah asked him, he sat down on his knees, facing Ezra and waited for an answer that would give him permission to pick up the smaller man and take him into the second room. He knew he wasn't capable of walking, not at the moment anyway, he was still weak and needed time to build his strength up, time he wasn't sure the southerner had.
"No, that's Adam's room." It was another reminder but for something different, he had seen the room when he was last here and it was still decorated the same way it had been when Adam was alive, he could see the happy childhood in the brightly painted walls, the toys that filled the toy chests, and the books that sat on the bookshelf. The sight had told him what he had missed during his young life, all he had seen when he was growing up were small barely furnished rooms with white walls. "I'm staying here!"
'Then when I get enough strength back I'm leaving.' Ezra didn't voice these words aloud.
"JD go and get Ezra a blanket." Chris watched as Ezra's mouth partially opened, his breathing becoming more shallow as he slipped into a peaceful slumber.
"What was that all about?" Buck wanted to know.
"I have no idea." Chris's answer only caused more confusion.
"Maybe he wants to stay here with us." Josiah suggested, he stood up and stretched his already stiff back, he would have to make sure he didn't sleep in one of the bunk beds in Adam's room again.
"I doubt that very much." Buck grimaced. He knew that if Ezra had the chance he would leave, the southerner always hated it when someone tried to force him into doing something he didn't want to do, he'd always been like that, bull-headed, the more you pushed him the more he pushed back, and he always won, unless of course it was something beyond his physical bounds. Buck's grimace turned to a smile at the return of some fond memories of butting heads with the smaller man on the couch.
JD returned with a blanket and Chris carefully laid it over Ezra's prone form, then stepped back from the couch.
"Why don't we let him sleep while we get some breakfast for ourselves." he suggested to them. After making sure Ezra was comfortable, Chris followed the others into the kitchen.
Buck and JD offered to make the most important meal of the day but Chris and Josiah refused the offer, and they were not polite in conveying their feelings in regards to the two men's cooking abilities. Josiah again volunteered to make the eggs while Chris took care of the toast. The leader of the group wasn't able to concentrate though, his mind wondered back to what Ezra had said, 'it's a reminder,' what could his room remind him of. He mentally took note of what was in the large bedroom, his mind's eye scanning the room that had been decorated by his wife, he could see the rocking chair, the large bed, the dresser with the family photos. Those photos were also a reminder for himself of what he had lost, a family. He could feel the guilt begin to overwhelm him once more, the guilt was what had driven him to drink when it happened, they had died instead of him, that had happened five years ago and the person/s responsible for their deaths was still at large. He mind saw each frame on the dresser, then finally settled on the last one, his new family.
"Damn!" Chris exclaimed.
"You burn the toast again Chris." Buck got up from the wooden kitchen table and made his way to the toaster. "And you tell me I can't cook."
"It's the photo in my room, the one of us on the fishing trip that Ezra came on." Chris turned his back on the toaster, he didn't notice the smoke coming out it, or as it began to flow around him and head towards the opened back door.
"That's the reminder."
"But what does it remind him of?" JD asked innocently, he had no idea of the implications of the photo that held only six faces instead of the actual seven that were in attendance on the fishing trip.
"He was here that weekend JD but he's not in the photo. How would it make you feel if you weren't in it?" Chris finally smelt the smoke and turned around, the thick bread had caught in the toaster instead of popping up like it was supposed to. He pulled the burning bread out, putting an end to its misery and replaced it with two new victims.
"Like I wasn't part of the group, just a visitor who wasn't going to be staying." JD admitted.
"Couldn't have put it better myself JD." Josiah smiled at him, he was having a good day with his sudden matureness, and he knew what to say when the rest of them didn't.
"Smells like Buck's cooking breakfast." Vin commented to Nathan as they entered through the back door into the kitchen, he waited for the rebuttal but he didn't get one. He looked around at the glum faces and knew that something was wrong. "What's happened?"
"Is it Ezra?" Nathan also knew by the expressions that the four men wore that something wasn't right.
"Ezra's fine, he's sleeping on the couch." Chris gave them some relief.
"What's he doing on the couch?" Nathan asked the group.
By the time Chris explained the situation to Vin and Nathan the toast was burning for a second time, Josiah pushed him out of the way and took control of the bread toasting, they were going to be here for two weeks and he didn't want them to run out of bread on the second day.
"Everything clear outside?" Chris changed the subject, he pushed the other thoughts to the back of his mind. He knew he would have to bring the photo's up in the conversation he was going to have with Ezra. It was another explanation that he would have to give the younger man, a man who deserved none of this, he'd only been doing his job, and sometimes he was too good at what he did but that couldn't be used as an excuse, especially in this situation.
"Yeah, it's clear." Vin answered him.
Vin and Nathan had gone out early to check the surrounding terrain for any sign of visitors, they had taken their time, enjoying the early morning sun and the quiet they didn't get to hear in Denver. After sunrise the trees seemed to be greener, the sky more blue and the stillness of the lake would be enough to calm even the most agitated person, if it wasn't for the threat against Ezra's life they would have him sitting in a boat enjoying the calmness of the waters it floated on.
"Where's Hoskins?" Nathan asked Josiah as he took over the job of making the toast.
"Still sleeping, the guy's as bad as Ezra." Josiah smiled at him.
________________________________________
Lenny forced his sleep-glued eyes opened and looked at the blurred numbers on the digital clock that sat on the small dresser in the guest bedroom, he waited patiently for the numbers to come into focus then swore silently under his breath. He hadn't meant to sleep so late, he didn't want to leave the others alone with Ezra for such a long time, they were quite capable of ignoring his request and speaking to Ezra when he wasn't there. Just because Ezra didn't have, the strength didn't mean he wouldn't try to retaliate using his fists. His young friend needed his help and protection, and Lenny was going to make sure that he got it even if he had to use his own fists to keep him safe from any physical or emotional harm.
He dressed quickly, making sure the automatic weapon was hidden in his jeans waistband, and ignoring the pressure that told him his bladder was requesting that he alleviate it of its burden, he rushed out of the guest bedroom. His mind registered the amused glances but he also ignored them, he headed towards Larabee's room so he could check on Ezra before answering to his bladder's needs. He heard someone say something to him but he refused to acknowledge the words, Ezra was at the forefront of his mind, nothing else mattered.
"Hoskins!" Chris tried again, he didn't want to raise his voice to much, he was afraid of disturbing the sleeping form that lay under a thick blanket on the couch. Chris waited until the Federal agent came back out of the room, his worried gaze searching the large living room. "Ezra's here!" He finally got the older man's attention.
Lenny heard and understood the words that were being spoken to him, he moved towards the group of men who shared the two remaining couches. He knelt down in front of Ezra and wiped his hand across his forehead. "Why is here instead of in your bed?"
"The fishing photo, it's the same as the one in my office, he wouldn't go back in there because it's a reminder to him, he thinks he's not part of the family." Chris stood up and knelt down beside Lenny.
"He doesn't have to think Larabee, the photo speaks for itself, and if he was a member of your family he'd be in the photo!" Lenny growled at him, his bad mood becoming even worse at Chris's words, he thought that Larabee was aiming all the guilt of what was happening towards Ezra. He allowed his eyes to move from Ezra's slack face to the hardened one of Chris Larabee. "Wouldn't he!?"
"Yes he would and after all this is over he will be." Chris informed him, he had all intentions of making things right between himself and Ezra.
Lenny, satisfied with the answer, nodded and stood up. "Is there any coffee made?"
"Yeah." Josiah told him.
"Breakfast?" Lenny hoped something was made, the fresh mountain air had increased his appetite, he hoped it would do the same for Ezra.
"Sorry, we've eaten already, so has Ezra." Josiah again answered him.
"You got Ezra to eat something?" Lenny was impressed.
"He wasn't going to but when I mentioned your name," Chris shrugged his shoulders, "you seem to have a lot of influence on him".
"Yeah I do don't I." Lenny admitted proudly. "I just hope it lasts because if it doesn't you guys are going to be in some serious trouble." He was about to go into more detail but felt the agonising calling pressure of his bladder once again. "I'll be back in a minute." He rushed off to the bathroom to answer nature's call.
When Lenny came back, he was more refreshed, his mood relaxed, he passed JD on his way back to the couch that held Ezra's sleeping form. He stopped next to the young man and looked down at his arm, he smiled at the confused expression that looked back at him.
"The sling didn't work then?" Lenny knew the kid wouldn't be able to pull it off.
"No Ezra saw right through it." JD answered.
"And you obviously." Lenny continued to smile.
"JD didn't do anything wrong." Buck defended him.
"No, then why did Ezra know he was faking the injury." Lenny calmly inquired of the man who allowed the older man to defend him.
"Because unlike you, JD can't lie to him." Buck stepped forward. "Ezra could see the truth in his eyes."
"And unlike you JD can't talk for himself?" Lenny's eyes stared at Buck, the anger was beginning to take control of his calm exterior.
"I'm sorry but I don't have a poker face like Ezra's." JD finally spoke. "But I can talk and I spoke to Ezra about what happened."
"You spoke to Ezra?" His eyes continued to move from one person to the next, his eyes now resting on Chris's face.
"Yeah and I think I got through to him, said he needed to think about it though." JD smiled at the back that was now turned to him.
"Larabee, can I have a word or two with you please!" The anger was evident in Lenny's voice.
"Have as many as you want." Chris told him, he wasn't going to allow the agent's anger to ruin the progress that they had succeeded in gaining during the first hour of the morning.
"In the kitchen, I don't want to wake Ezra up." Lenny walked away from the close knitted group, he was going to have trouble keeping them all under control so he would have to get Larabee to do it.
"Sure." Chris smiled at his men then followed Hoskins into the kitchen. "Are you deaf or stupid?" Lenny turned on Chris as soon as he entered the kitchen, he didn't take the time to get himself some coffee and sit down at the table to have a discussion with the leader of the five men who were constantly pissing him off, he was too angry for that.
"I'm neither. Why?" Chris raised his eyebrows at the man who stood before him, he wasn't going to lose his temper like he did when he first met Hoskins, he had allowed the man to get the better of him and he wasn't going to do that again.
"Then you must think I'm stupid?" He took a step closer to Chris, he could see that he was keeping his anger in check and he planned to do the same thing but he knew he wasn't going to succeed.
"I've always thought that." Chris smiled at him but he could see his answer did nothing to anger Lenny any more than he already was, on the outside anyway, he had no idea how he was dealing with this on the inside.
"So you think I don't know what's best for Ezra, that the friendship I've had with him for the past ten years doesn't tell me the best way to deal with this?" Lenny didn't wait for an answer. "You think I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to taking care of his welfare." He ignored the smell of coffee that assaulted his senses, the coffee could wait until later.
"Your being too soft with him, your protecting him from us instead of allowing us to talk to him." Chris argued back.
"I'm protecting him for a reason Larabee, you do remember what you did to him don't you or would you like me to remind you. You beat him while his hands were handcuffed, you gave him a concussion, tore the skin off his face, I have a picture of him up here," he tapped his temple with his finger, "one that keeps reminding me of what he looked liked after you threw him onto the floor when you brought him in to the ATF building!" He saw Chris flinch at the words. "Wilmington kicked him until he cracked his ribs, but what hurt him more was the anger and hatred he saw in your eyes, he's been hurt enough, I won't allow that to happen again!"
"You have my word that he won't be hurt, physically or emotionally." Chris couldn't forget what he had done to Ezra and he never would.
"Your word isn't good enough for me, you haven't done anything to deserve my acceptance of it." It was Lenny's turn to smile.
"Then there's nothing I can say to prove to you that we have Ezra's best interests at heart." Chris walked over to the kitchen counter and leaned against it.
"But there is something that you can do." Lenny answered Chris's raised eyebrows. "You can stop your men from talking to him when I'm not there, I've already asked this twice but they, like you, are ignoring my request."
"Pussy footing around the problem isn't going to help him! JD saw an opportunity and he took it." Chris watched Lenny carefully, he could tell he was struggling to keep control of his anger. "He did the right thing."
"The right thing." Lenny repeated the words then laughed. "What would he have done if Ezra got angry?"
"JD would have been able to handle it." Chris crossed his arms, it was a movement of emotional defence but it was for JD and not himself.
"Mr Sanchez couldn't handle Ezra on one of his bad days, I've told you that before but you won't listen to me!" Lenny didn't realise his voice was becoming louder. "I didn't make this request just for the fun of it."
"Ezra wouldn't hurt JD or any of the others!" Chris protested, his voice was also getting louder.
"And how would you know?" Lenny retorted. "You have no idea what he's capable of doing do you?"
"I know he's not capable of doing much when he's that state!" He pointed towards the couch that Ezra was sleeping on.
"If he got angry enough he could do anything in that state, including beating the shit of you." Lenny spoke calmly but he was fuming inside. He thought differently to what he was actually saying, his words were used to warn Chris of Ezra's capabilities even though he himself knew that Ezra didn't have the strength to carry them out.
"You exaggerating." Chris knew he was.
"Maybe, but give him a few days, as soon as he gets his strength back he'll make you pay for what you did!" Lenny's voice became even louder. "And when he's finished with you it will be my turn, I gave you a promise Larabee and I intend to carry it out!"
"You're welcome to carry out that promise now!" Chris uncrossed his arms and stepped towards the man who equalled his height and build.
________________________________________
Ezra jerked awake, his breath catching in his throat, he could feel the suffocating weight of the blanket and pushed it off his shoulder, and he ignored Nathan's voice and rolled over onto his left side, his head facing the back of the couch and listened to the angry voices that had caused him to wake abruptly. He could feel someone adjusting the blanket that had been caught under his body when he rolled over.
"Go back to sleep Ezra." Nathan's voice spoke quietly in his ear but he couldn't ignore the argument that was going on in the kitchen, he was the centre of that tirade and he wouldn't have it.
He threw the blanket off, allowing it to fall to the floor, he rolled onto his back and sat up. Two faces suddenly came into view and he pulled away from them until his back hit the couch. He glared up at Nathan and Josiah and they stepped away from him, he took the opportunity they opened up for him and pushed himself up off the couch. Hands tried to grab his arms stopping him from going any further but his anger gave him the strength to push them away.
His sock covered feet managed once more to carry him to the kitchen, it helped that he didn't have to navigate the thick rug that hid part of the wooden floor. The voices grew louder as his mind became more alert. Ezra stood at the opening and faced the two men, one of them was an important part of his life, a person who would never betray him like the man who stood in front of him. But Lenny sometimes treated him like a child and this was one of those times.
"Lenny!" He waited until the two men turned to him. "I am quite capable of looking after myself."
"I know that Ezra but I think that six against two are better odds." Lenny hadn't heard or seen Ezra enter the kitchen, he'd been too angry to see anything but the man who still stood in front of him. His young friend had stopped the physical altercation that was about to happen, finally breaking the second standoff that was occurring between the two men.
"What happened is between them and me, there isn't anything you can do to help." Ezra told him, his own anger was building, the tension in the room was becoming thick enough to cut with a knife.
"I can help you deal with it Ezra, I can stop them from hurting you again." Lenny wasn't offended by Ezra's refusal of help, he was independent and always tried to deal with his problems on his own but Lenny was going to help whether Ezra wanted him to or not, just like he always did.
"I can stop them from hurting me and you can help me deal with it later, not now." Ezra was looking at Chris.
"We're not going to hurt you Ezra." Chris gave him the same assurance as he did Hoskins.
"Now why don't I believe that." Ezra's tone was sarcastic. He frowned then clicked the thumb and middle finger of his right hand. "I know, it's because you've hurt me already." The frowned turned into a glare that was aimed at Chris. "All of you did, and I still have the pain to prove it!"
"We didn't mean to Ezra." Josiah's voice joined those that were already in the kitchen.
Ezra turned around to face the other members of the group, he moved towards Lenny and stood by his side, his friend was right, and if he allowed him to help, the odds would be better.
"Of course you meant to, it wasn't an accident, what you did was with intent." Ezra moved even closer to Lenny, he only stopped when his own body touched his, he leant against him, using him to keep himself upright, he felt as though he was going to fall down.
"And you intentionally didn't tell us what you were doing." Vin growled at him.
"If I told you that I was going undercover you wouldn't have reacted, you would have given my cover away." Ezra retaliated.
"Exactly Ezra, you expected us to react and now your blaming us for that reaction." Vin moved closer to him. "You can't have it both ways."
"Tanner!" Lenny gently pushed Ezra aside and stood in front of him, he was willing and able to do what Ezra couldn't and that was defend himself physically, when he knew he was able to, he would allow him to do so without his interference.
"Lenny." Ezra spoke quietly and waited for him to return to his side. "I see that you’re not willing to waste your breath this time Mr Tanner." Ezra stepped forward on shaking legs. "Yes I expected a reaction but my blame isn't aimed at what I expected you to do. It's aimed, and rightly so, at what you did. I didn't expect to be beaten, or to see the hatred in your eyes. I know you never really liked or trusted me but I didn't deserve any of that."
"I did Ezra, I always liked and trusted you, and I still do but . . . " Vin couldn't find the words.
"But what." Ezra stepped backwards looking for Lenny's strength, he was beginning to tremble, the strength continued to leave his body.
"But you can't blame us for what happened." Josiah stepped up to Vin and stood beside him.
"Why not?" Ezra reached behind him and grabbed Lenny's left arm for support, not emotionally but physically.
"You had needle marks Ezra, you looked like you were on something when we found you in the warehouse, where I might add, and you were selling information. Hoskins showed up saying he was investigating you." Josiah remembered how he felt when this happened, he had felt guilty because he hadn't helped Ezra when he thought that something was wrong with him. "And there was the resignation letter you wrote, how else we were supposed to feel Ezra, that letter made us angry, we couldn't react any other way."
Lenny waited for Ezra to say something but he didn't. "Ezra!"
"What?" He knew what he wanted but he refused to justify the letter.
"Tell them for christ sake." Lenny was getting frustrated, Ezra said he could deal with this himself but he wasn't telling them everything.
"Tell us what?" Chris demanded.
"Ezra didn't write the letter." Lenny informed them.
"What?" Chris, Vin and Josiah voiced this together.
Lenny rolled his eyes, he couldn't believe he had to keep repeating himself with these men. "I said he didn't write the letter!"
"Who did?" Chris asked him but kept his eyes on Ezra.
"Judge Travis." He enjoyed the shocked expressions. "The Judge asked Ezra to do it but he didn't have it in him at the time but I'm sure he would have no trouble writing such a letter now." Lenny squeezed the hand that held a death grip on his forearm. "Travis knew you would react, show some anger towards him, that's why he wanted it written but he was shocked by the way you treated him."
"The fact that someone else wrote it doesn't change anything, at the time we thought Ezra wrote it." Josiah continued to explain his reaction.
"No but at least you now know that Ezra never had it in him, you can't hold that letter against him." Lenny knew they planned to use the letter to ease their burden of guilt.
"Why didn't you tell us this before?" Chris asked him.
"No one asked me." The smile on his face mirrored the one that appeared on Ezra's.
"You're not making this easy for us!" Chris told him.
"Why should I, your men are blaming Ezra for something that he's not responsible for, he was only doing his job." Lenny retorted.
"Lenny." It was only a whisper and in his anger, Lenny didn't hear Ezra calling him.
"We don't blame him, I just want him to realise that it wasn't entirely our fault that we reacted the way we did." Vin continued the argument, he hadn't heard Ezra either.
"Lenny." This time his voice was barely audible, but Ezra's mouth moved, his knees were beginning to buckle, he could no longer stand on legs that refused to hold him upright.
"Ezra!" Nathan was the only who noticed, he saw Ezra's eyes roll just before he began to collapse, he rushed forward intending to catch him but Lenny reacted to his concerned voice, the Federal agent wrapped his arms around Ezra's waist and eased him to the floor. Nathan was by his side within seconds.
"What's wrong with him Nathan?" Lenny sat on the floor, he held Ezra up in a sitting position, his back against his own chest. He waited for the ex medic to answer him.
Nathan checked Ezra's pupils and took his pulse, both were fine, he felt his forehead and found a slight temperature but he kept this knowledge to himself. "Too much at once that's all Lenny, take him to the spare room, he needs to get some rest." He stood up and Lenny followed him, his arms holding Ezra the same way he had when he carried him into the cabin. "I suggest we wait a few days before we try talking to Ezra again and when we do we should make sure he's sitting down!" This anger was voiced at both Lenny and the others.
Lenny nodded then walked away from the group but he could feel the movement of the men following him. He carried Ezra into the spare room and laid him down on the bed and pulled the covers up over him, he sat down on the bed and twisted himself sideways, he lifted Ezra's right arm out from under the blankets and held onto his hand.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I wasn't thinking."
"None of us were." Chris agreed with him.
Lenny looked around to see six men crowded into the room, their expressions were ones of concern, only a few minutes ago they were full of guilt and remorse. He knew these men cared but the way they showed their concern caused him to forget what the main objective was and that was to reunite the group of men who worked so well together. Ezra belonged to this collectively closed knit group, he just didn't know it. He mentally scolded himself for making it harder for them, Larabee had been right, he wasn't making it easy for them, he had told the leader of the group that he would help them gain Ezra's friendship and trust back and he wasn't doing that. He looked back at his young friend, the relaxed features causing him to look younger than he actually was, he knew that Ezra was willing to listen to what they had to say, what just occurred in the kitchen proved that.
Now all they needed to do was to convince him to stay within the group and give them another chance at the friendship that he had longed for all his life. Lenny knew his own relationship with Ezra was more like a brother. He cared for him like a brother would, the younger man could confide in him, tell him his fears and hopes, show him the emotions he would never show in front of another person but he wasn't going to be around all the time. He needed new friends, he had to become part of another family and not just the one they had. Lenny knew that if this didn't work Ezra wouldn't be able to cope with it, he'd already had too many failures when it came to friends and his career. He had always loved his job and knew he would be lost without it. If they failed him again he would continue to trust no one or accept the offer of friendship again, he would close himself off completely to everyone and everything and Lenny was afraid that the closure would shut him out also, that he would lose the close relationship that he had with Ezra, he couldn't and wouldn't let that happen.
________________________________________
Lenny rested in the chair that Chris had brought in for him, his feet were stretched out, the booted heels crossed and balanced on the edge of the bed. He eyes continued to glance from Ezra to the view that he could see through the window, he was amazed by the amount of trees that were so close to the house and wondered if Larabee had ever heard of the term 'fire hazard'. When he looked back at Ezra he saw the shift in his body as he rolled over and faced him, he pulled his left leg towards his chest and lifted his right arm until it was positioned under the pillow his head resting on the forearm that was now hidden by the pillow.
When Ezra settled back down Lenny's eyes moved back to the window. He knew the trees would make good cover for anyone who wanted to sneak up on them. He began to think that it hadn't been a good idea to come up here but decided that the same thing would occur if they were in the city, the only way they were going to know that Collins was attempting to kill Ezra again would be when they actually saw him. He also wondered if Larabee's life was still in danger. He wasn't concerned, the man was able to look after himself and he also had five watchdogs that seemed to be keeping closer to his physical proximity than Ezra's. He hadn't asked to be left alone with Ezra, they had chosen to leave the room.
He awkwardly twisted his head towards the door when he heard the soft knocking that informed him someone was requesting permission to enter the room. He didn't answer it, the door opened anyway and Nathan stepped into the room carrying a tray full of food. His gentle eyes took in Ezra's inert form, then turned towards Lenny.
"You didn't have breakfast so I brought you some lunch." He spoke softly so he wouldn't disturb Ezra, his footsteps were just as soft when he made his way to the bedside table. "There's something here for Ezra too, when he wakes up that is."
Lenny looked at the tray and saw the two salad sandwiches and bowls of fruit, he smiled up at Nathan. "A man after my own heart."
"I assumed because you and Ezra are so much alike that you probably eat the same type of thing, besides it's what Ezra needs to get his strength back."
"What I need is a good shot of whisky." Ezra spoke but didn't open his eyes.
"How are you feeling Ezra?" Nathan asked him. He motioned for Lenny to move his feet so he could sit on the bed, he used his right hand to feel Ezra's forehead, and his temperature was beginning to come down.
"I still have a headache and I want to go home." Ezra still didn't move.
"I'll get you something for your headache Ezra." Nathan got off the bed. "The going home part, you can discuss that with Lenny." he smiled at the look the older agent gave him, he turned his back on the argument he knew would begin. Ezra was stubborn, if he wanted to leave, he would fight and argue with Lenny until he succeeded in getting what he wanted but what Nathan didn't know was that the two always came to some agreement, neither of them ever winning the fight.
"Lenny?" Ezra waited for an answer.
"Not yet Ezra, I agreed to two weeks." Lenny put his feet back up on the bed.
"I have to stay here for two weeks." Ezra finally opened his eyes and he stared at Lenny. "Why two weeks?"
"We thought it would push Collins into doing something stupid, he already made one mistake by sending Glading into the hospital." He wasn't going to go into more detail but the expression on Ezra's face gave him a warning, he wanted more information. "And it's an opportunity for the others to talk to you, they’re going to wait a few days though, Nathan told them to after what happened this morning."
"You do know that when I do get my strength back I'm going to leave." Ezra told him, a slight smile crossing his handsome face but only half of it was visible, the other was still hidden by the pillow.
"As long as you know I won't let you." Lenny smiled back and Ezra's grew, the dimples appearing on his left check.
"We've come to an understanding then." Ezra commented as he rolled onto his back.
"Now that we have that sorted out, you can eat some lunch." Lenny reached for the tray, his eyes not seeing Ezra's face but his mind knew his personality. "And you can wipe that look off your face, you’re eating it, it won't be a decent fight if you give me the advantage of you still being weak."
"If you beat me it would be because I let you." Ezra smiled at him, he pushed himself up into a sitting position and allowed Lenny to place the plate that was overfilled with a salad sandwich onto his lap. "Chicken?"
"Looks like it." Lenny lifted the top slice of bread. "And you never let me win, I allow you to lose."
"You just keep thinking that Lenny, and you'll be fine." Ezra took a large bite out of the sandwich.
Lenny put down his sandwich and looked at Ezra, he knew the good mood would only last while they were alone, as soon as one of the others entered the room or Ezra left if, his poker face would be put in place and his mood would take a turn for the worse. "Ezra, are you willing to listen to them when they talk to you?"
"Depends on what they have to say."
"You know what they have to say Ezra." Lenny watched for his reaction, Ezra never wore his poker face when they talked.
"No I don't Lenny, I know what they want to talk about but not what they have to say." He was actually curious as to what the explanations would be.
"I told Larabee that I would help them." He admitted to his long time friend, he hoped that he wasn't betraying him.
Ezra lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "Why?"
"Because you belong Ezra, you may not think your part of the family now but you will, they don't want to lose you Ezra." He watched as the surprise spread across the younger agent's face, his left hand lifted towards his face, the thumb wiping his bottom lip. "I saw the worry and concern when they thought they were going to lose you."
"I wonder why they weren't thinking that when I went undercover?" Ezra asked but he knew Lenny wouldn't have the answer, he would have to ask the others.
"You can ask them in a few days when they start talking to you and I expect you to talk back." He took one of the glasses of orange juice off the tray and took a tasting sip, he grimaced at the bottled juice, and he preferred the freshly squeezed kind.
"If I'm still here Lenny." Ezra warned him.
"You will be." Lenny smirked and inwardly began to think of ways to keep Ezra in the cabin, they would have disabled the cars and boat but they may need a quick getaway, they could lock the doors but Ezra was a proficient amateur locksmith that left tying him to something, he had never been good with knots.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine
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