azombiewrites (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azombiewrites) wrote2009-10-14 05:21 pm
azombiewrites) wrote2009-10-14 05:21 pm
The Magnificent Seven Fic - 'The Search' - 3/4
Title: The Search
Fourteenth story in 'The Continuing Ezra Standish Saga'
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bad writing ahead!
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Summary: The seven search for a friend of Mary's when she goes missing from Four Corners but when Ezra finds her, he also finds the reason for her going missing.
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest of the seven + OC's.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Beta: Not betaed – written in the early days when I didn’t know what the words grammar and edit meant. *is ashamed but no longer care*
Notes: Fourteenth story in the ‘Continuing Ezra Standish Saga’.
Spoilers: None.
Total Word Count: 38,144
Part Three
Ezra was fuming, he couldn't believe that Chris had asked her to come here. He walked down the steps only to see her sitting at one of the tables near the saloon's doors. He stopped dead in his tracks, the whole world seemed to stand still around him. He watched as his mother looked up and smiled at him.
"Ezra how nice to see you again." She got up and moved towards her son.
"Don't you dare come near me." He growled at her.
"Ezra dear what is your problem?" She asked him. "You're not having another one of those emotional tantrums are you?" Ezra couldn't help but laugh at her. "And what is so funny?"
"You are mother, you never wanted to admit when there was something wrong with me did you? Your even denying it now."
"You look perfectly fine to me Ezra." She told him.
"Really." As far as Ezra was concerned, there was no one else there. He pulled his vest off and then his shirt allowing the stab wounds to become visible to his mother. "Do I look alright to you? Do you think that you can deny this?" He was shouting now, oblivious to those around him.
"Ezra would you please put your shirt back on, your embarrassing yourself." She looked down to the floor.
"You never wanted me did you?" He asked her quietly.
"Ezra what are you trying to say?" She was shocked that he even thought that.
"Thank you for reassuring me that you did." He pulled his shirt back on and then walked out of the saloon. He wanted to get out of there, to get away from everyone and everything. At that point in time he had never felt so alone, not even when he was in that cellar, as feeling alone when there were people around was a lot worse.
Chris and the others made their way down the stairs. They had heard everything that had been said and they completely understood why Ezra was behaving the way he was. His mother showed no concern at all when he showed her his healing injuries, she had accused him of having a tantrum instead of realising that there was something seriously wrong with him. Chris didn't go anywhere near her at that, moment because he knew that he would hit a woman for the first time in his life. He saw Mary and her friend sitting at a table staring at the swinging doors of the saloon.
"Josiah, Buck follow Ezra and make sure that he's okay but don't get to close." He sat down at the table and the other three gunmen joined him.
"Chris what was that all about?" Mary asked him when she realised that he had sat down at the table.
"Ezra is having a very hard time dealing with a memory from his childhood." Buck told her.
"What sort of memory would make him behave like that?" Sarah asked. They all looked up at her and she grimaced.
"Sorry, it's none of my business."
"No, it's alright. You brought him out of that state he was in and we are grateful to you for what you did." Chris told her and then remembered his manners. He introduced his friends to Sarah and then began to tell both Mary and Sarah what had happened to Ezra. He then explained Maude's part of the problem. They then sat silently hoping that Ezra was going to be okay.
***
Ezra could feel the fresh air against his skin as he still hadn't done his shirt buttons up. He ignored the looks that he received from the townsfolk as he walked down the boardwalk. Again, he didn't know where he was going. He didn't know what he was going to do, his mother had just more or less admitted that she didn't want him by not answering his question. His so-called friends had gone against him by asking her here. His mind was full of confusion, the memory was rushing through his mind over and over again and the fear was back and it was slowly replacing the anger. Ezra looked up as he found himself standing in front of the stables. He walked in and found himself a corner to sit in. He didn't think of getting on his horse and riding out of there, he couldn't think straight so he sat down and drew his knees up to his chest. He didn't even realise that he was rocking himself back and forth.
***
Maude had listened to what Chris had told Mary and Sarah - she had gotten to know the woman on the stage as it had been a long trip. She heard what Chris had said about Jack and her, how she had convinced Ezra that no one showed him anything but pity and that, it was because no one would care for him. How she had taught him never to show his emotions and it was because of this that he held everything in and that was causing most of the problems. She couldn't believe it when he had mentioned the knife wound that he had hidden from them because he didn't want their pity. She didn't think that Ezra was that stupid. And for the rest of it, she had to do that, how else was he going to be able to pull a con. He wouldn't be convincing if he allowed people to get close to him, if he showed them his feelings. And it was pity that he was shown, she had seen it on their faces when she left her son with them. If it was anybody's fault, it was Ezra's for allowing his emotions to get the better of him. She stood up and left the saloon to go back to her hotel, she would come back later when her son gained control of himself.
***
Buck and Josiah's hearts tore in two when they saw Ezra rocking himself in the corner of the stables. He looked so alone. Buck stepped forward to go in but stopped when he heard Josiah's voice.
"I'll be here if you need me."
Buck nodded and stepped into the barn. Ezra didn't look up as Buck came towards him, he didn't even acknowledge him, and as far as he was concerned, he was still alone in the world. Buck sat down in front of him, not caring that he was in reach of him and if Ezra lashed out, he would take the full brunt of the force.
"Ezra?" Buck called to him and waited. Ezra continued to rock as he held his knees to his chest. "Ezra, it's Buck." He still didn't answer him so Buck decided to do all the talking. "Chris thought that he was doing the right thing. He didn't ask Maude here to see you. He wanted to talk to her, give her a piece of his mind, which he still hasn't done. That's why we were trying to get you out of the way, so you wouldn't have to see her, at least not until after Chris spoke to her. I'm going to have to make sure that I'm there to see the show." Ezra continued what he was doing. "He's feeling really bad about asking her to come. He didn't realise what seeing her would do to you, none of us did." Buck looked back at Josiah who had stepped into the doorway. Josiah nodded to him to continue. "Sarah seems like a nice lady, real pretty."
"Do your conversations always end up with you talking about a woman." Ezra asked him. He had stopped rocking but sat the same way and continued to look at his knees.
"If it will get your attention then yes." Buck didn't smile though, he didn't feel like doing that.
"Go away Buck." Ezra said quietly.
"No." Buck had thought that Ezra had calmed down enough to talk to him but it was obvious that he still didn't want to talk. "And don't tell me you want to be left alone either because I know you don't."
"You don't know anything Buck." Ezra muttered.
"I know that we all want to help you." Buck edged a little closer to him.
"You have been doing a great job so far, I mean look at me, and I’m a mess." Ezra said and to prove it a single tear fell from his left eye onto his knee.
"We would do a better job if you let us help you Ezra." Buck bent down to try and look into Ezra's tear filled eyes.
"Did you hear what she said." Ezra looked up at him finally. "She didn't even care that I had been hurt, wouldn't even admit to wanting me."
"I'm sorry Ezra." Buck didn't know what to say.
"Yeah me to." He got up and roughly wiped the tears from his eyes, he had lost control again but he didn't care anymore as he couldn't stop himself and the others didn't seem to mind. All his emotions had left him and he only felt drained and numb. "I need a drink." He walked out of the livery, ignoring Josiah and made his way to the saloon.
He walked into the saloon with Buck and Josiah on his heels and was grateful when he didn't see his mother. He did though see the others sitting at a table to the side of the saloon watching him as he stood inside the doorway making his decision. He hesitated a moment and then did something that went against his upbringing. He walked over and sat down at table.
"Would somebody like to get me a drink?" Ezra asked them.
"Sure Ezra." Vin got up and went to the bar.
"Feeling better Ezra?" Chris asked him.
"I'm sorry Chris, I don't know what happened." But Ezra did, it was the anger that he had used all his life to keep people away from him, to stop them from showing him any pity. He knew that it would happen again when they started to push him to tell them what was going on. He couldn't control the emotions anymore, they were going to see everything.
"That's alright Ezra. But you might want to do up your shirt before Sarah swoons and falls out of her chair." Chris couldn't help but laugh at both Ezra's and Sarah's embarrassment. When Ezra had come in, he didn't think that he would join them but he did and when he sat down Sarah's gaze had fallen to his bare chest and remained there. Mary joined in the laughter but both she and Chris stopped when they realised that Ezra's expression had not changed.
Sarah looked around the table and felt her cheeks go red. She hadn't been able to stop herself when he sat down, even with the stitched knife wound that was in the center of his chest but she had also seen the bandage that was wrapped around his waist and the fading bruises that also lined his chest. "I'm sorry Mr Standish, I didn't mean to stare."
"Why not, as I seem to be putting on a show for everyone to watch." He couldn't understand why he felt so numb. It was as though he couldn't feel anything and that itself was beginning to scare him. "Did I cause you any injuries Chris?"
"Only a bruised pride." Chris leaned forward. "Don't suppose you want to talk about it?"
Ezra just shook his head, he didn't even want to answer the most basic questions. He looked up as Vin returned with a bottle and some glasses.
"I put it on your tab Ezra." Vin told him as he poured him a drink.
"At least I am good for something." He swallowed the warm whisky and winced at the taste of it.
Everyone looked at each other, they didn't know how to respond as they were becoming confused themselves. One minute Ezra was yelling at them and had become violent and the next he was calm and talking to them. Josiah spoke though.
"Your good for a lot of things Ezra."
"Such as?"
"How much time do you have." Josiah smiled at him.
"Another one to avoid the question." Ezra said, he wanted to feel angry at the lack of an answer to his question but he couldn't be bothered.
"I didn't mean it like that Ezra." He put his hand on Ezra's shoulder and was surprised when it stayed there. "Would you believe me anyway if I gave you a list now. I don't believe that you would, not with the state of mind that you’re in at the moment."
Ezra rubbed his eyes, he was beginning to feel tired. "Chris I understand that you have a few words to say to my mother."
"If that's okay with you Ezra."
Ezra nodded his head, he folded his arms on the table and then rested his head on them. He felt tired and he felt numb, he knew they were watching him but he didn't care. He closed his eyes and rested for a moment. He felt a hand on his shoulder again though and looked up at the owner.
"Come on Ezra, I'll take you up to your room so you can get some rest." Chris told him.
"I suppose that you are going to stay there as well."
"Only if you don't mind that is."
"As long as you don't turn off the light when I'm asleep I don't care." Ezra allowed Chris to help him up, he really didn't care at that moment, maybe later when he didn't feel so numb. The others watched Ezra and Chris until they disappeared around the corner that led to his room.
"Has Mr Standish always been afraid of the dark?" Sarah asked the table.
"Ezra isn't afraid of the dark." JD defended him.
"Then why won't he sleep without a light on." She stated simply and watched the questioning glances that they gave each other.
***
Chris watched Ezra as he lay on top of the bed covers, he had fallen asleep as soon as he laid down on the bed. Ezra hadn't even bothered to undress, he still wore his trousers and his shirt, which was still open, showing the damage that, had been done to his body, his feet were dirty as he hadn't bothered to put his boots on when he stormed out of his room earlier. Chris wondered if this was what he looked like after his Uncle had beaten him. Ezra's face was slack and he seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Chris sat on the bed and gently moved the damp hair from Ezra's forehead, he watched as his bruised chest rose and fell with the rhythm of sleep and he decided that he was going to do everything he could to make things better for Ezra. The first thing he was going to deal with was Ezra's mother but that will have to wait until the morning, he wasn't going to leave Ezra alone. He moved to the chair and turned it to face the bed, he then settled in for the night only to be woken by Ezra's screams.
***
"So how long have you known Mary for Miss Doherty?" Buck asked her so he could break the silence that occurred after her comment about Ezra being afraid of the dark.
"Since we were children and you can call me Sarah." She smiled at him.
"We grew up together, Sarah then moved to San Francisco. We haven't seen each other for three years." Mary added.
"Maude seemed like such a nice woman on the stage." Sarah changed the subject back to what it was originally.
"We all use to think that." Vin told her. He looked up towards Ezra's room and wondered how he was doing.
"No one has answered my question about why Mr Standish wanted to sleep with the light on." Sarah reminded them.
"That's because we don't know." Nathan told her. "The dark has never bothered him before."
"Perhaps it has something to do with the memory that he's having trouble dealing with." Sarah suggested.
"That's a good point, we'll mention it to him when comes down again." Josiah smiled at her as he was grateful to have a fresh mind in the discussion to come up with some ideas of what might be wrong with Ezra and what the memory may involve.
They continued to talk for the next couple of hours, about Ezra, Mary and Sarah's friendship and other things. The saloon had emptied out and the bartender left them alone as it was becoming a common occurrence for them to wait in the saloon. They were sitting in silence when the screams began. Ezra's friends ran up to the room after telling Mary to take herself and Sarah home.
***
Ezra cowered in the corner of the cellar, he could hear both the rats and his Uncle coming for him, he tried to get away from the sound but he couldn't. "Get away from me!" He yelled out, his scream waking Chris and forcing him out of his chair towards the bed. Ezra felt terrified, he could hear him coming closer and then he felt his hand on his shoulder, he struggled to get away but he was dragged up the stairs to the kitchen. "Let go of me!" He shouted at him. Ezra felt the first punch and he jerked his body in his sleep but he didn't wake up.
"Ezra!" Chris shook him by the shoulders and felt his body jerk. "Ezra wake up!"
"Please don't hit me." Ezra whimpered. He had brought his hands up again to protect himself but his Uncle hit him in a more vulnerable place. Ezra fell to the floor and curled himself up against the onslaught.
Chris shook him harder and Ezra jerked awake, the scream leaving his throat. He lay on his side gasping for breath, his arms curled around his shaking body. "Why did he do it Chris?"
"I don't know Ezra, I just don't know." Chris heard the door open and saw the others run into the room out of the corner of his eye.
They stood frozen, watching the image before them. Ezra was shaking uncontrollably, curled up in a ball with his arms wrapped around himself. His sweat soaked hair and shirt clinging to his body.
"I don't want to go back to sleep." Ezra looked up at Chris. He struggled to keep his eyes open but he couldn't. The darkness of the cellar took him back.
Chris couldn't control the shiver that went through him when he saw the terrified eyes look at him but felt relief when they fluttered closed again as Ezra fell back to sleep.
"We have to do something Chris." Buck told him.
"Don't you think I know that Buck." Chris growled at him. He watched as Ezra began to dream again, his face grimacing at the memory. "How do we stop him dreaming."
There was nothing that they could do except to wake him up each time the dreams got bad. They talked to him to try to stop him from falling asleep again but he was too tired to stay awake and after the third time he finally fell into a peaceful sleep.
Vin stayed with Ezra for the rest of the night and was grateful when he didn't dream again, more for Ezra than for himself. He watched as Ezra slowly woke up from his peaceful sleep. Ezra opened his eyes and blinked a few times as they adjusted to the sunlight that invaded his room. He noticed someone sitting in his chair and he looked over at Vin.
"Ezra." Was all he said as he was worried that anything else might make him angry and that was the last thing that any of them wanted.
"Mr Tanner." Was the curt reply. He got up off his bed and pulled on his jacket and guns that were slung over the chair that Vin was sitting in. He gathered some clean clothes out of his dresser and after pulling on his boots, he left his room without another word to Vin who followed him.
Chris looked up and saw Ezra walking down the stairs with Vin following, he could see the dark circles under Ezra's eyes from where he was sitting. He caught Ezra's eye and raised an eyebrow at him.
"If you must know I am going to clean myself up and I don't need a babysitter." Ezra scowled at him and Chris knew that it would be best to leave him alone for now. Chris nodded to Vin to join him at the table and they then watched as Ezra walked out.
"He's in a bad mood again." Vin told him.
"Yeah, I noticed." Chris grimaced at the thought as he was hoping that Ezra would be in the same mood that he was last night because if he was they would have been able to talk to him.
Ezra walked along the boardwalk towards the bathhouse, he wasn't watching where he was going as his mind was full of emotions again, they had come back and they were tearing him apart. He could see himself in the cellar and his Uncle as he beat him afterwards. He shivered at the thought and then walked into someone. He looked up not sure whether or not he was going to apologise. He decided not to as it was his mother.
Ezra didn't know what to say, the last person he wanted to see apart from his Uncle was his mother, and she was the person who was responsible for the whole incident as it was his mother who left him there in the first place so she could go off and carry out one of her cons. He made to step around her but she stepped sideways to block him again.
"I am very disappointed in you Ezra, all of my efforts to teach you a trade have been forgotten. You have failed me by falling apart as you have." She kept the smile on her face as she watched the emotions cross her son's face. "What happened to all of the secrets that I taught you. What happened to hiding your emotions and not allowing people to get close to you."
Ezra took in every word she said and they tore through his heart. This was supposed to be his mother, the person who was supposed to love and care for him even when he did good things but this mother was disappointed in her son when he changed his ways to help people.
"I expected better from you Ezra, I do expect you to change the way you are behaving." She stepped closer to him.
"This not the way I brought you up."
"Have you finished Mother." Ezra didn't wait for an answer he walked away from her. But she wasn't finished.
"You know they don't care about you, don't you Ezra. I can see the pity on their faces when they look at you." Maude watched as he walked away and saw his shoulders slump when she used the word pity.
Ezra kept walking, he made himself keep going as he tried to shut out his mother's words but he couldn't. They kept repeating themselves over and over again, especially the last comment that she had made. He somehow made his way to the bathhouse and managed to clean himself up. Once he had done that, he headed back to the saloon. By this time, his mother's words had settled in his mind and he allowed the insecure child in him to believe them. He again shut himself off from those around him. He closed himself off and put up his wall of defence.
***
Sarah had been watching from across the street. She was waiting for Mary outside the Clarion when she saw Ezra walk out of the saloon and then head down the street, she watched as Maude confronted her son. Sarah was going to cross the street and interrupt them but the confrontation was over before it had started so instead she headed to the saloon to let Chris know what she just saw.
She walked into the saloon and saw Chris and Vin sitting at one of the tables, their breakfast lying untouched before them. Sarah made her way to them and sat down at the table and hesitated as she didn't know how they were going to take the news.
"Something wrong Sarah?" Chris asked as her as he saw the concern on her face. He also noticed the pale blue dress that highlighted her fair skin even more.
"I just saw Mrs Standish . . ." She hesitated again.
"And?" Asked Vin even though he dreaded the answer.
"She stopped Ezra in the street, she was talking to him and from the look on his face he didn't like what she was telling him. It only lasted a couple of minutes and then he walked off."
"Reckon we should go after him?" Vin asked Chris.
"No let's just wait until he comes back and then see what his mood is like." Chris told him. He looked at Sarah and forced his face to smile at her. "Thanks for letting us know Sarah."
"Let me know if there is anything that I can do for him." She smiled and left them to comp template what they were going to do about Maude and Ezra.
Chris knew what he wanted to do with Maude but Ezra was going to be a different story. They only had to wait thirty minutes for Ezra to come back and the first thing they saw was the poker face that he was wearing, they both groaned at the sight as they knew what it meant. They were back were they started.
"Gentlemen." Ezra greeted them but he did not smile at them.
"Ezra, I hear that you were talking to Maude earlier." Chris wasn't going to tip toe around the gambler.
"I believe she did most of the talking." Ezra gave away as little as possible.
"You want to do some of your own talking?" Vin asked him.
"There is nothing to talk about." Ezra fought to keep control of his emotions, they were raging through him but his mother kept reminding him of what he was supposed to do so he wouldn't disappoint her.
Ezra jumped when Josiah placed his hand on his shoulder. "Please remove your hand Mr Sanchez."
"Sorry Ezra." Josiah took in the expressions on Chris and Vin's faces.
"Maude managed to speak to Ezra when we weren't looking." Chris explained.
"Then I suggest Chris that you return the favour." Josiah smiled at him. They all waited for Ezra to protest but he didn't, he actually surprised them.
"You better let Buck know as he wanted to watch." Ezra grimaced at the thought of Chris having a few words with his mother but deep down he was grateful that someone was going to as he was not strong enough to go against his mother at the moment. She knew exactly what to say to hurt him but she wouldn't be able to hurt Chris.
***
Sarah returned to the Clarion to wait for Mary. She was only there a few minutes when Mary stepped out. "Sarah I am going to be a while longer so if there is anything that you want to do . . " Mary informed her.
"I suppose I can go for a walk around town, take in the scenery." Sarah muttered trying to make Mary feel guilty and enjoying herself when she did.
"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you a promise." Mary tried her best to make her feel better.
"And what is it that you are going to do?" She asked her as she hid the smile behind her hand but Mary caught her.
"Sarah Doherty, how could you." Mary chided her.
"Maybe you could arrange dinner with those seven men as I would like to get to know one of them better." Sarah smiled wickedly at her.
"Anything, just get out of here and come back in an hour." Mary gave her a quick hug and watched her walk away.
***
The three men had been hiding in the house at the edge of town for four days without being spotted, they were wanted men and they needed rest before they moved on. They had heard about the seven lawmen that protected the town so they hid from them as they knew they would be recognised by them. They did not want to go back to jail. The men had been on the run for three months and they hid in each town they went to and they had never been caught so they kept doing it, it had become a habit hard to break. The three men were more desperate than they were dangerous.
"I'll be back in a minute." John told his two friends.
"Where are you going?" David asked him.
"Where do you think." He smiled back at him.
"Just make sure that nobody spots you because if they do they’ll tell the local law and then we will go back to jail." David called after him.
"Yeah, yeah." John waved back.
John was on his way back to the house when he saw the young woman picking flowers from the overgrown garden, she looked liked one of the townsfolk and he knew that she would know that he didn't live there. He tried to get by her but she looked up just before he was behind cover. He watched as the fair-skinned beauty looked at him and he couldn't help but smile back. 'Shit'. He thought to himself. He walked over to her intending to get rid of her but in a way so she wouldn't be found again. John looked around to make sure there was no one else close by.
"Good morning." He said to her.
"Morning. I hope you don't mind me picking some of these flowers, there beautiful." Sarah asked him.
"Not at all." He tipped his hat to her as she turned away from him and then quickly grabbed her around the waist and put his hand over her mouth. He then dragged her back into the house.
Sarah felt the arms grab her and she tried to scream but a hand was placed over her mouth to stop her voicing it. He struggled in the man's grip and tried to kick him with her legs, she felt her boots make contact and heard the man grunt in pain but he didn't let her go. She saw the distance between herself and the street lengthen and she began to fear for her life. The man turned around and forced her through the doorway of the house. She saw another two men in the house, both of them were large men, she couldn't make out their faces very well as they were covered in trial dirt. Sarah decided that they probably smelt as bad as the man holding her.
"What the hell are you doing John?" David growled at him.
"She saw me, what else was I supposed to do." John wined at him.
"Sometimes John . . ." He threw a piece of rope to him as he shook his head. "Tie her up and sit her where we can see her. We'll leave when it's dark."
"You know you can do some stupid things John." Mack told him.
"What. You told me what would happen if someone saw me. She saw me, I had to stop her from telling anyone." He continued to whine.
"Stop your whining John and tie her up already." David then pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gave it to him. "Shut her up as well."
Sarah felt the relief wash through her as she realised that all they were going to do was tie her up. She was supposed to meet Mary in twenty minutes and knew that when she didn't show up she would start looking for her. She just hoped that she wouldn't do it on her own.
***
Chris walked into the hotel and spotted Maude sitting at one of the tables. He had left the saloon after asking the others to watch Ezra and enjoyed the remarks that came out of the gambler's mouth - he was almost like his old self except that his old self was a mask that hid everything that he was feeling. He also hadn't told Buck that he was going to talk to Maude as it was just between the two of them. He made his way to the table and didn't ask for permission to sit down.
"Why Mr Larabee, what can I do you for this fine morning?" Maude knew exactly what he wanted but he was not going to get her help. As far as she was concerned, the only problem with Ezra was his involvement with these lawmen and the fact that he didn't seem to be able to hide his emotions as she had taught him to.
"I want to talk to you about Ezra but you know that already don't you." Chris kept his calm.
"And why would you want to talk about Ezra?"
"You don't want to know why the telegram said he needed you urgently?" Chris wanted to know as she hadn't even mentioned it.
"The only thing that Ezra needs is to get back his control." Maude smiled at Chris.
"Did Ezra tell you about Jack and what he did to him?" He thought that he saw Maude's poker face falter but only for a second.
"Yes he did. Why?" She had actually felt guilty about that but she also knew that he would have to have learnt a lot from the experience.
"And he told you that he nearly killed him once." Maude nodded. Chris changed the subject again, as he didn't want her to become comfortable with one subject, he hoped that by jumping around he would confuse her. He knew it would be hard but he had to try. "Did you know that he doesn't like to be touched, particularly when he's injured."
"He has been like that since he was a child." Maude confirmed. She didn't know where he was going with all this.
"Would you like to get to the point Mr Larabee as I don't have all day."
"You don't won't to take the time to find out what's been troubling your son?"
"That is not what I said and I told you, I already know what's wrong with him." She smiled again. "He is just seeking attention as he always does."
"Maude, I am just going to say this once. I have never hit a woman in my life but if you keep smiling like that you will be my first." Chris growled at her.
"If you are going to be like that, I am leaving." She made to get.
"Sit down Maude." Chris's voice was cold and she did as she was told. For the first time since she met this man, she was actually afraid. She regained her composure.
"Ezra is not seeking attention, he doesn't like to be touched as he associates it with concern. And you seemed to have convinced him that it is not concern but instead . . .pity"
"It was pity that he received, no one likes to put up with a child that is constantly doing things and making himself sick to get attention."
"Do you actually believed that he would get himself hurt on purpose." He couldn't believe this woman, he really did want to hit her.
"I know he used to make himself sick just before I asked my relatives to look after him for a while. He thought he could make me feel guilty and take him with me."
"And one of those relatives nearly killed him." Chris muttered. "Why did you tell him that no one would ever care for him?" His anger was beginning to fade, at that moment all he could do was feel for Ezra as he was getting a glimpse of what his childhood must have been like.
"Because he can't afford to allow people to care for him in this trade." Maude explained, she was confused as to why he needed to even ask her that question.
"Ezra thinks that no one cares for him and the only emotion that people show him is pity. It got to the point where he didn't want to feel that pity anymore. He hid a serious knife wound from us and it nearly killed him. All because you convinced him that the concern that he would have been shown would be pity." He noticed Maude wasn't shocked at that statement but he didn't know that she already knew about it. This brought his anger back.
"It's Ezra's own fault if he allows his stubbornness to get in the way." Maude argued.
"He's remembered the beating that nearly killed him. We actually managed to get something out of him. He doesn't like to talk about things either it seems." Maude didn't answer him. "You never encouraged him to talk about anything did you?"
"I taught Ezra to be strong. Showing any sort of emotion or to talk about that sort of thing would show him that he was weak. He needs to be strong to do what I taught him. If he allowed himself to show emotions, or talk about things, or even think that people care for him he wouldn't be able complete a successful con." She jumped as Chris's fist slammed against the table.
"And that's the reason he's being tortured by this memory, that's why he is going through hell right now. All because you told him not to show his feelings or to talk about them. Ezra is sick but not in a physical way and we don't know how to help him." He finally let his anger show.
"And you think that I can?"
"You spoke to him this morning and now he's changed, he's closed himself off again. Just like you always told him to." He sneered at her. "I want you to talk to him, tell him that he needs to talk about it and let it all out."
"No."
"Why not." Chris was stunned that his woman didn't even want to help her son.
"Because if he does it once he won't be able to keep control, he'll keep doing it. Were business people Mr Larabee and those sorts of feelings are not part of our nature. I won't allow my son to have them."
"He's been having nightmares you know."
"Everybody does."
"He wakes up screaming, soaking with sweat, he can't stop shaking. Ezra won't even sleep unless the light is on." Chris finally saw Maude's poker face falter.
"What does he dream about?" She asked him.
"As far as we can tell he dreams about his Uncle beating him. He wakes up terrified Maude, if you saw the look in his eyes . . ." Chris looked down as he remembered the look that was in Ezra's eyes the night before. "He was only twelve Maude. Twelve years old and his Uncle nearly beat him to death and he is only remembering it now."
"How could he remember it now. He told me about it the last time I was in town."
"He said that someone told him about it but he didn't actually remember the beating. But it came back to him last week and he's been a mess since. You have to talk to him Maude, for Ezra's sake."
"I already told you Mr Larabee, I will not allow my son to show those types of feelings."
Chris was about to lose his temper when Mary ran in to the hotel's restaurant. "Chris, I can't find Sarah anywhere. I think she's lost. I've looked everywhere for her and I can't find her."
Chris could see that Mary was distressed and that was the only reason he left Maude. "I'll be back Maude." He took Mary's arm and walked her outside. "We'll go to the saloon and then organise a search party. Don't worry Mary, we'll find her."
Chris walked into the saloon and saw that his friends were all now sitting at the table, Ezra included. Buck looked up at him and gave Chris a look of hurt. "Why did you leave me out of it Chris, I had a few words to say to that woman too you know."
"We all do Buck." Josiah agreed with him. Ezra kept his feelings to himself.
"So how did it go anyway?" Vin asked.
Chris looked at Ezra who returned the glance. He turned his face away so Ezra couldn't see the anger that he was feeling at his mother, if Ezra saw it then he would know that he had gotten nowhere with her. "We haven't got time for that. Mary said that Sarah is missing."
"Who's Sarah?" Ezra asked him.
Everyone was shocked. "You met Sarah yesterday, remember?" Nathan asked him, the concern showed in his voice and Ezra gave him an unpleasant look.
"Beautiful woman, shoulder length brown hair, hazel eyes, fair skin." Buck described her to him as he remembered every detail of that womanly beauty.
"I'm sorry but I don't seem to remember much about yesterday." Ezra told them as the only thing that he did remember was the dreams and he was going to say anything about them. He shut his mind off again so they couldn't see what he was feeling.
"That's okay Ezra. You know what she looks like, she's also wearing a pale blue dress." Chris added to Buck's description.
"And she was on foot so she couldn't have left town." Mary was worried sick about her close friend, it wasn't like her to run off. She began to think that something terrible had happened to her.
"I want you to look everywhere, ask people if they saw her. We'll meet back here in an hour." Chris nodded to them and they all got up and left in different directions.
Each hired lawman searched the town looking for Mary's friend, they checked the stores and hotels, giving people Sarah's description only to have the townsfolk tell them that they hadn't seen her. They searched everywhere just like Mary had and they got the same results. They each hoped that one of the others had found her. Each man made their way back to the saloon. Buck met Chris at the doors and followed him inside and they sat at their usual table.
"You didn't find her?" Buck asked him.
"No and I take it you didn't either." Buck shook his head. "We'll have to get more people and search everywhere again. She has to be somewhere."
"How did it go with Maude?" Buck asked carefully.
"Didn't even want to know." Chris muttered.
"What!" Buck jumped up out of his chair. "I am going to go and give that woman a piece of my mind. How could she not care about him. Damn that woman."
"Sit down Buck, it'll have to wait until after we find Sarah." Chris couldn't help but smile. "Besides you will have to wait until I've finished with her."
"Just as long as you leave something for me to chew on." Buck growled.
They waited quietly, each with the same thoughts, for the others to come back. As they arrived, they each reported that they hadn't found Sarah and that no one had seen her. Ezra hadn't arrived yet so they waited for him as they knew that he would be along any minute now and while they waited Chris told them about his talk with Maude.
***
Ezra had been able to keep his emotions under control in front of his friends but now that he was, alone he was finding it hard keep them that way, the strongest feeling was the fear. He couldn't keep that one at bay. He had walked to the edge of town and stopped when he reached the empty house. The Henderson's had lived here but they moved to Bitter Creek a couple of months ago. It was a small house and no one had been interested in purchasing it when they had left. He made one last attempt to get the feelings under control and failed. He had to check the house, with the emotions continuing to destroy him he walked up the stairs and opened the front door. Ezra wasn't concentrating on what he was doing, he thought that Sarah was lost, he didn't expect to find her in the house but he did. She was tied up in a chair with a gun placed against her head and two guns were then pointed in his direction.
"Get in here now." David ordered him.
Ezra carefully stepped into the main room of the small house. He looked over at Sarah and recognised her from Buck's description. His focus was brought back to the two men in front of him when one of them came forward and collected his guns. Ezra regretted not taking the time to fix his derringer in place before he left his room that morning. He struggled with his emotions, he needed to concentrate but he wasn't able to. The men thought that they had caused the fear to show in Ezra's eyes.
"Look he's scared." John laughed at him.
"I assure you my fear has nothing to do with you." Ezra growled at him. He hoped that these men would make him angry as he needed it to take control as it had always done before.
"There's no one else here for you to be afraid of." Mack told him.
Ezra looked them over carefully, they didn't look like real criminals, and they seemed more like scavengers. But they were hiding in this empty house and they had taken Sarah for a reason so he wasn't going to underestimate them. He had to think of a way to get them both out of this situation safely but at that moment his mind was flooded with emotions and he couldn't gain control over them no matter how much he tried.
"What are we going to do with them David?" Asked John.
"Give me a minute to think." It was only a few hours until sunset and he needed to do something with them to stop them from escaping, they needed to get away and have a head start before anyone came after them.
"Why don't you throw them in the cellar." Mack suggested.
Ezra felt the fear rip through him. He wasn't going to go back down there, he would die before he allowed them to put him in there again.
"I'm not going in there." Ezra warned them.
"Yes you are, you don't have a choice." Mack told him.
"Then you will have to throw my corpse in there because I'm not going down there while I'm still breathing."
Sarah was listening to the conversation and couldn't believe what Ezra was saying, she realised the cellar would explain his fear of the dark. She watched as the man called John came over and untied her hands.
"Your serious aren't you?" David asked Ezra.
"I'm not going down there." He told them for the third time. Ezra was barely holding himself together, he knew that he was shaking but these men hadn't noticed it yet. His heart felt like ice and he wanted to scream at them the same way he screamed at his Uncle to let him out. "I'm not going down there."
David could see the man shaking and realised that if he was that scared then he could become very dangerous. They would have to be quick. "Mack, open the cellar door and put the woman in there, then we'll take care of this coward."
Ezra could see that they were bigger than him and that they would eventually take him but not without a fight and if he could get hold of one of their guns he would kill them. He wasn't going to go down there. No way in hell. Because that's what it was, it was hell and he never wanted to go through that again. He watched as Mack opened the door and he could see the darkness beckoning to him. "I'm not going down there." he muttered. He felt like he was twelve years old again.
Sarah wanted to call out to Ezra but the dirty handkerchief was still wrapped around her face, causing the only noise to come out as a groan. As she got closer to the door, she could see the terror in his eyes and she knew that the cellar was part of his memory. She was roughly pushed down the stairs and told to stay or else he would make her stay. Mack then went back up, he was looking forward to taking care of the fancy dressed man.
Ezra looked at the three of them as they stood in front of him. Only one of them now held a gun as the other two had put them on the table out of his reach. They moved towards him and he braced himself, he wasn't going to go down there. Mack and John both tried to grab an arm but before they could, Ezra slammed his fist into John's nose and he felt it break beneath his fist. John screamed at the pain and clutched his nose to try to stop the flow of blood.
While Ezra did this Mack was able to land a blow to his kidney. Ezra felt the pain tear through his back as the memory tore through his mind. He didn't turn around but instead elbowed Mack in the jaw knocking him backwards. Ezra then turned his oncoming anger back to John. He hit his nose again with full force and the man screamed a second time as he fell to the ground. Ezra then began to kick him as his Uncle had done to him after removing him from the cellar. The anger had taken control of Ezra and it had done such a good job that he had forgotten about the other two men in the room. David came up behind him and slammed the butt of his gun into the back of Ezra's skull. He smiled as the gambler fell across John. He kicked him in the side for good measure.
"Get him off me." John yelled, he coughed at the taste blood as it fell down the back of his throat.
"Give me a hand Mack." Together they dragged Ezra off him and to the dark opening in the floor, they didn't bother to take him down the stairs. They pulled him into the opening and then let him fall the rest of the way. David then shut and locked the door.
Sarah looked up as something blocked the light that was shining into the cellar, she knew that it was Ezra and she watched, helpless as there was nothing that she could do, as he fell to the cellar floor. The fall wasn't from a great height as the roof was only eight foot above them. She heard the noise as Ezra's body hit the floor and she ran to him trying to see if she could determine what damage there was before the light disappeared but it was gone before she reached him.
She had to put her hands out in front of her to feel for him as it was too dark to see him. Sarah finally found him and using her hands she felt his body for any injuries, the only being the bleeding wound on the back of his head. She lifted his shoulders up and pulled his upper body to her chest and held him as she had an idea of what his reaction will be when he woke up and she wanted him to know that there was someone else down here with him.
***
They had waited thirty minutes past the hour that they had agreed on and Ezra still hadn't shown up. They were all worried because of the state of mind he was in. Chris had been pacing the floor the same way Buck had paced the boardwalk when they were waiting for Maude the week before. "JD go and check if Ezra is with his mother at the hotel."
JD ran out of the saloon and was back five minutes later to say that he wasn't. Chris continued to pace the floor, the others watched him and waited for his decision. "I don't think that Ezra is capable of doing anything drastic as he would have done it by now so whatever happened to Sarah must have happened to Ezra." Chris told them as he paced.
"Or even better, he found her and they are sitting somewhere taking about things." Buck hoped.
"No. They would have let us know, Sarah would know that Mary was worried about her." Chris shattered Buck's hope.
"Get as many people together as you can and start searching, if you find them fire your gun in the air." For the second time they left the saloon to search for Sarah but this time the search included Ezra.
***
Ezra could feel the pain at the back of his head as he woke up, he wondered what had caused it. He could feel himself wrapped up in something and he thought that it must have been his bedcover. He moved a little and felt the grip become tighter and he thought that it was strange as bedcovers don't usually do that. He tried moving more and the hold on him became even stronger. He opened his eyes and saw the darkness, he began to struggle against whatever was holding him as the memory and emotions washed over him.
"Ezra, it's Sarah, you’re not alone, and I’m here with you." She held on as tight as she could but he was obviously stronger.
"Ezra it's okay, you’re not alone this time." Sarah hoped that she was saying the right thing.
He could hear a female voice and knew that it was not part of the memory, the grip on him was not brutal or forceful. It took him a few moments to register the name and who the woman was. "Sarah?" His voice shook with fear.
"Yes Ezra, it's Sarah. Do you know who I am?" She asked him as she continued to hold him, she had noticed that his heart was now beating a lot faster than it was.
"Your Mary's friend."
"Yes. How are you doing?"
"My head hurts." He told her as he thought that was what she was talking about.
"I'm not talking about that Ezra. You didn't want to come down here. You were terrified." She reminded him.
Ezra tore himself from her grip and felt her as she tried to grab him again. "A slight exaggeration I am sure." He tried to sound confident but failed miserably. He stood up and walked slowly until he bumped into the wall, he then followed it until he reached the corner. Ezra then sat down and drew his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around them to try to stop his body shaking as he relived his nightmare.
Ezra couldn't stop shaking, he couldn't stop remembering and most of all he couldn't stop feeling. His heart was pounding in his ears and he knew that it was beating too fast. He was in the cellar again and he couldn't get out, the darkness surrounded him even more than it had done before. He could hear the scurrying noises but didn't realise that it was only in his mind. Everything was the same as it was before, the darkness, the rats and the loneliness, they had left him alone. 'But I'm not alone.' He thought to himself, he remembered that there was someone with him.
"Sarah?" He whispered as he didn't want to let the rats know he was hiding in the corner.
"I'm here Ezra. Keep talking so I can find you." Sarah had panicked herself for a moment in the total darkness when Ezra tore himself from her grip. She had tried to grab him again but couldn't.
"I don't think I can do this." Ezra's voice was shaking as much as his body was, he tried to steady it so Sarah wouldn't know how scared he was. He cried out when he felt her hand touch his face and he violently threw his head away from her touch and hit his head against the wall.
"It's me Ezra, it's okay." Sarah said to him gently, she had felt his face under her touch and then it was gone. She heard the noise as his head hit the wall and she remembered what Chris had said - that Ezra didn't liked to be touched. Sarah ignored what he said and moved her hand down to his shoulder, he didn't move away from her. She could feel him shaking beneath her hand.
"You can get through this Ezra. I'm here with you, I'll help you get through it." Sarah sat down next to him and made sure that their bodies were touching so he wouldn't forget that she was there. "Ezra, are you with me?" He didn't answer her. Sarah kept talking to him anyway, she didn't want him to come back to a quiet darkness that was suffocating him.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four
Master Fan Fiction List
Fourteenth story in 'The Continuing Ezra Standish Saga'
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bad writing ahead!
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Summary: The seven search for a friend of Mary's when she goes missing from Four Corners but when Ezra finds her, he also finds the reason for her going missing.
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest of the seven + OC's.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Beta: Not betaed – written in the early days when I didn’t know what the words grammar and edit meant. *is ashamed but no longer care*
Notes: Fourteenth story in the ‘Continuing Ezra Standish Saga’.
Spoilers: None.
Total Word Count: 38,144
Part Three
Ezra was fuming, he couldn't believe that Chris had asked her to come here. He walked down the steps only to see her sitting at one of the tables near the saloon's doors. He stopped dead in his tracks, the whole world seemed to stand still around him. He watched as his mother looked up and smiled at him.
"Ezra how nice to see you again." She got up and moved towards her son.
"Don't you dare come near me." He growled at her.
"Ezra dear what is your problem?" She asked him. "You're not having another one of those emotional tantrums are you?" Ezra couldn't help but laugh at her. "And what is so funny?"
"You are mother, you never wanted to admit when there was something wrong with me did you? Your even denying it now."
"You look perfectly fine to me Ezra." She told him.
"Really." As far as Ezra was concerned, there was no one else there. He pulled his vest off and then his shirt allowing the stab wounds to become visible to his mother. "Do I look alright to you? Do you think that you can deny this?" He was shouting now, oblivious to those around him.
"Ezra would you please put your shirt back on, your embarrassing yourself." She looked down to the floor.
"You never wanted me did you?" He asked her quietly.
"Ezra what are you trying to say?" She was shocked that he even thought that.
"Thank you for reassuring me that you did." He pulled his shirt back on and then walked out of the saloon. He wanted to get out of there, to get away from everyone and everything. At that point in time he had never felt so alone, not even when he was in that cellar, as feeling alone when there were people around was a lot worse.
Chris and the others made their way down the stairs. They had heard everything that had been said and they completely understood why Ezra was behaving the way he was. His mother showed no concern at all when he showed her his healing injuries, she had accused him of having a tantrum instead of realising that there was something seriously wrong with him. Chris didn't go anywhere near her at that, moment because he knew that he would hit a woman for the first time in his life. He saw Mary and her friend sitting at a table staring at the swinging doors of the saloon.
"Josiah, Buck follow Ezra and make sure that he's okay but don't get to close." He sat down at the table and the other three gunmen joined him.
"Chris what was that all about?" Mary asked him when she realised that he had sat down at the table.
"Ezra is having a very hard time dealing with a memory from his childhood." Buck told her.
"What sort of memory would make him behave like that?" Sarah asked. They all looked up at her and she grimaced.
"Sorry, it's none of my business."
"No, it's alright. You brought him out of that state he was in and we are grateful to you for what you did." Chris told her and then remembered his manners. He introduced his friends to Sarah and then began to tell both Mary and Sarah what had happened to Ezra. He then explained Maude's part of the problem. They then sat silently hoping that Ezra was going to be okay.
***
Ezra could feel the fresh air against his skin as he still hadn't done his shirt buttons up. He ignored the looks that he received from the townsfolk as he walked down the boardwalk. Again, he didn't know where he was going. He didn't know what he was going to do, his mother had just more or less admitted that she didn't want him by not answering his question. His so-called friends had gone against him by asking her here. His mind was full of confusion, the memory was rushing through his mind over and over again and the fear was back and it was slowly replacing the anger. Ezra looked up as he found himself standing in front of the stables. He walked in and found himself a corner to sit in. He didn't think of getting on his horse and riding out of there, he couldn't think straight so he sat down and drew his knees up to his chest. He didn't even realise that he was rocking himself back and forth.
***
Maude had listened to what Chris had told Mary and Sarah - she had gotten to know the woman on the stage as it had been a long trip. She heard what Chris had said about Jack and her, how she had convinced Ezra that no one showed him anything but pity and that, it was because no one would care for him. How she had taught him never to show his emotions and it was because of this that he held everything in and that was causing most of the problems. She couldn't believe it when he had mentioned the knife wound that he had hidden from them because he didn't want their pity. She didn't think that Ezra was that stupid. And for the rest of it, she had to do that, how else was he going to be able to pull a con. He wouldn't be convincing if he allowed people to get close to him, if he showed them his feelings. And it was pity that he was shown, she had seen it on their faces when she left her son with them. If it was anybody's fault, it was Ezra's for allowing his emotions to get the better of him. She stood up and left the saloon to go back to her hotel, she would come back later when her son gained control of himself.
***
Buck and Josiah's hearts tore in two when they saw Ezra rocking himself in the corner of the stables. He looked so alone. Buck stepped forward to go in but stopped when he heard Josiah's voice.
"I'll be here if you need me."
Buck nodded and stepped into the barn. Ezra didn't look up as Buck came towards him, he didn't even acknowledge him, and as far as he was concerned, he was still alone in the world. Buck sat down in front of him, not caring that he was in reach of him and if Ezra lashed out, he would take the full brunt of the force.
"Ezra?" Buck called to him and waited. Ezra continued to rock as he held his knees to his chest. "Ezra, it's Buck." He still didn't answer him so Buck decided to do all the talking. "Chris thought that he was doing the right thing. He didn't ask Maude here to see you. He wanted to talk to her, give her a piece of his mind, which he still hasn't done. That's why we were trying to get you out of the way, so you wouldn't have to see her, at least not until after Chris spoke to her. I'm going to have to make sure that I'm there to see the show." Ezra continued what he was doing. "He's feeling really bad about asking her to come. He didn't realise what seeing her would do to you, none of us did." Buck looked back at Josiah who had stepped into the doorway. Josiah nodded to him to continue. "Sarah seems like a nice lady, real pretty."
"Do your conversations always end up with you talking about a woman." Ezra asked him. He had stopped rocking but sat the same way and continued to look at his knees.
"If it will get your attention then yes." Buck didn't smile though, he didn't feel like doing that.
"Go away Buck." Ezra said quietly.
"No." Buck had thought that Ezra had calmed down enough to talk to him but it was obvious that he still didn't want to talk. "And don't tell me you want to be left alone either because I know you don't."
"You don't know anything Buck." Ezra muttered.
"I know that we all want to help you." Buck edged a little closer to him.
"You have been doing a great job so far, I mean look at me, and I’m a mess." Ezra said and to prove it a single tear fell from his left eye onto his knee.
"We would do a better job if you let us help you Ezra." Buck bent down to try and look into Ezra's tear filled eyes.
"Did you hear what she said." Ezra looked up at him finally. "She didn't even care that I had been hurt, wouldn't even admit to wanting me."
"I'm sorry Ezra." Buck didn't know what to say.
"Yeah me to." He got up and roughly wiped the tears from his eyes, he had lost control again but he didn't care anymore as he couldn't stop himself and the others didn't seem to mind. All his emotions had left him and he only felt drained and numb. "I need a drink." He walked out of the livery, ignoring Josiah and made his way to the saloon.
He walked into the saloon with Buck and Josiah on his heels and was grateful when he didn't see his mother. He did though see the others sitting at a table to the side of the saloon watching him as he stood inside the doorway making his decision. He hesitated a moment and then did something that went against his upbringing. He walked over and sat down at table.
"Would somebody like to get me a drink?" Ezra asked them.
"Sure Ezra." Vin got up and went to the bar.
"Feeling better Ezra?" Chris asked him.
"I'm sorry Chris, I don't know what happened." But Ezra did, it was the anger that he had used all his life to keep people away from him, to stop them from showing him any pity. He knew that it would happen again when they started to push him to tell them what was going on. He couldn't control the emotions anymore, they were going to see everything.
"That's alright Ezra. But you might want to do up your shirt before Sarah swoons and falls out of her chair." Chris couldn't help but laugh at both Ezra's and Sarah's embarrassment. When Ezra had come in, he didn't think that he would join them but he did and when he sat down Sarah's gaze had fallen to his bare chest and remained there. Mary joined in the laughter but both she and Chris stopped when they realised that Ezra's expression had not changed.
Sarah looked around the table and felt her cheeks go red. She hadn't been able to stop herself when he sat down, even with the stitched knife wound that was in the center of his chest but she had also seen the bandage that was wrapped around his waist and the fading bruises that also lined his chest. "I'm sorry Mr Standish, I didn't mean to stare."
"Why not, as I seem to be putting on a show for everyone to watch." He couldn't understand why he felt so numb. It was as though he couldn't feel anything and that itself was beginning to scare him. "Did I cause you any injuries Chris?"
"Only a bruised pride." Chris leaned forward. "Don't suppose you want to talk about it?"
Ezra just shook his head, he didn't even want to answer the most basic questions. He looked up as Vin returned with a bottle and some glasses.
"I put it on your tab Ezra." Vin told him as he poured him a drink.
"At least I am good for something." He swallowed the warm whisky and winced at the taste of it.
Everyone looked at each other, they didn't know how to respond as they were becoming confused themselves. One minute Ezra was yelling at them and had become violent and the next he was calm and talking to them. Josiah spoke though.
"Your good for a lot of things Ezra."
"Such as?"
"How much time do you have." Josiah smiled at him.
"Another one to avoid the question." Ezra said, he wanted to feel angry at the lack of an answer to his question but he couldn't be bothered.
"I didn't mean it like that Ezra." He put his hand on Ezra's shoulder and was surprised when it stayed there. "Would you believe me anyway if I gave you a list now. I don't believe that you would, not with the state of mind that you’re in at the moment."
Ezra rubbed his eyes, he was beginning to feel tired. "Chris I understand that you have a few words to say to my mother."
"If that's okay with you Ezra."
Ezra nodded his head, he folded his arms on the table and then rested his head on them. He felt tired and he felt numb, he knew they were watching him but he didn't care. He closed his eyes and rested for a moment. He felt a hand on his shoulder again though and looked up at the owner.
"Come on Ezra, I'll take you up to your room so you can get some rest." Chris told him.
"I suppose that you are going to stay there as well."
"Only if you don't mind that is."
"As long as you don't turn off the light when I'm asleep I don't care." Ezra allowed Chris to help him up, he really didn't care at that moment, maybe later when he didn't feel so numb. The others watched Ezra and Chris until they disappeared around the corner that led to his room.
"Has Mr Standish always been afraid of the dark?" Sarah asked the table.
"Ezra isn't afraid of the dark." JD defended him.
"Then why won't he sleep without a light on." She stated simply and watched the questioning glances that they gave each other.
***
Chris watched Ezra as he lay on top of the bed covers, he had fallen asleep as soon as he laid down on the bed. Ezra hadn't even bothered to undress, he still wore his trousers and his shirt, which was still open, showing the damage that, had been done to his body, his feet were dirty as he hadn't bothered to put his boots on when he stormed out of his room earlier. Chris wondered if this was what he looked like after his Uncle had beaten him. Ezra's face was slack and he seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Chris sat on the bed and gently moved the damp hair from Ezra's forehead, he watched as his bruised chest rose and fell with the rhythm of sleep and he decided that he was going to do everything he could to make things better for Ezra. The first thing he was going to deal with was Ezra's mother but that will have to wait until the morning, he wasn't going to leave Ezra alone. He moved to the chair and turned it to face the bed, he then settled in for the night only to be woken by Ezra's screams.
***
"So how long have you known Mary for Miss Doherty?" Buck asked her so he could break the silence that occurred after her comment about Ezra being afraid of the dark.
"Since we were children and you can call me Sarah." She smiled at him.
"We grew up together, Sarah then moved to San Francisco. We haven't seen each other for three years." Mary added.
"Maude seemed like such a nice woman on the stage." Sarah changed the subject back to what it was originally.
"We all use to think that." Vin told her. He looked up towards Ezra's room and wondered how he was doing.
"No one has answered my question about why Mr Standish wanted to sleep with the light on." Sarah reminded them.
"That's because we don't know." Nathan told her. "The dark has never bothered him before."
"Perhaps it has something to do with the memory that he's having trouble dealing with." Sarah suggested.
"That's a good point, we'll mention it to him when comes down again." Josiah smiled at her as he was grateful to have a fresh mind in the discussion to come up with some ideas of what might be wrong with Ezra and what the memory may involve.
They continued to talk for the next couple of hours, about Ezra, Mary and Sarah's friendship and other things. The saloon had emptied out and the bartender left them alone as it was becoming a common occurrence for them to wait in the saloon. They were sitting in silence when the screams began. Ezra's friends ran up to the room after telling Mary to take herself and Sarah home.
***
Ezra cowered in the corner of the cellar, he could hear both the rats and his Uncle coming for him, he tried to get away from the sound but he couldn't. "Get away from me!" He yelled out, his scream waking Chris and forcing him out of his chair towards the bed. Ezra felt terrified, he could hear him coming closer and then he felt his hand on his shoulder, he struggled to get away but he was dragged up the stairs to the kitchen. "Let go of me!" He shouted at him. Ezra felt the first punch and he jerked his body in his sleep but he didn't wake up.
"Ezra!" Chris shook him by the shoulders and felt his body jerk. "Ezra wake up!"
"Please don't hit me." Ezra whimpered. He had brought his hands up again to protect himself but his Uncle hit him in a more vulnerable place. Ezra fell to the floor and curled himself up against the onslaught.
Chris shook him harder and Ezra jerked awake, the scream leaving his throat. He lay on his side gasping for breath, his arms curled around his shaking body. "Why did he do it Chris?"
"I don't know Ezra, I just don't know." Chris heard the door open and saw the others run into the room out of the corner of his eye.
They stood frozen, watching the image before them. Ezra was shaking uncontrollably, curled up in a ball with his arms wrapped around himself. His sweat soaked hair and shirt clinging to his body.
"I don't want to go back to sleep." Ezra looked up at Chris. He struggled to keep his eyes open but he couldn't. The darkness of the cellar took him back.
Chris couldn't control the shiver that went through him when he saw the terrified eyes look at him but felt relief when they fluttered closed again as Ezra fell back to sleep.
"We have to do something Chris." Buck told him.
"Don't you think I know that Buck." Chris growled at him. He watched as Ezra began to dream again, his face grimacing at the memory. "How do we stop him dreaming."
There was nothing that they could do except to wake him up each time the dreams got bad. They talked to him to try to stop him from falling asleep again but he was too tired to stay awake and after the third time he finally fell into a peaceful sleep.
Vin stayed with Ezra for the rest of the night and was grateful when he didn't dream again, more for Ezra than for himself. He watched as Ezra slowly woke up from his peaceful sleep. Ezra opened his eyes and blinked a few times as they adjusted to the sunlight that invaded his room. He noticed someone sitting in his chair and he looked over at Vin.
"Ezra." Was all he said as he was worried that anything else might make him angry and that was the last thing that any of them wanted.
"Mr Tanner." Was the curt reply. He got up off his bed and pulled on his jacket and guns that were slung over the chair that Vin was sitting in. He gathered some clean clothes out of his dresser and after pulling on his boots, he left his room without another word to Vin who followed him.
Chris looked up and saw Ezra walking down the stairs with Vin following, he could see the dark circles under Ezra's eyes from where he was sitting. He caught Ezra's eye and raised an eyebrow at him.
"If you must know I am going to clean myself up and I don't need a babysitter." Ezra scowled at him and Chris knew that it would be best to leave him alone for now. Chris nodded to Vin to join him at the table and they then watched as Ezra walked out.
"He's in a bad mood again." Vin told him.
"Yeah, I noticed." Chris grimaced at the thought as he was hoping that Ezra would be in the same mood that he was last night because if he was they would have been able to talk to him.
Ezra walked along the boardwalk towards the bathhouse, he wasn't watching where he was going as his mind was full of emotions again, they had come back and they were tearing him apart. He could see himself in the cellar and his Uncle as he beat him afterwards. He shivered at the thought and then walked into someone. He looked up not sure whether or not he was going to apologise. He decided not to as it was his mother.
Ezra didn't know what to say, the last person he wanted to see apart from his Uncle was his mother, and she was the person who was responsible for the whole incident as it was his mother who left him there in the first place so she could go off and carry out one of her cons. He made to step around her but she stepped sideways to block him again.
"I am very disappointed in you Ezra, all of my efforts to teach you a trade have been forgotten. You have failed me by falling apart as you have." She kept the smile on her face as she watched the emotions cross her son's face. "What happened to all of the secrets that I taught you. What happened to hiding your emotions and not allowing people to get close to you."
Ezra took in every word she said and they tore through his heart. This was supposed to be his mother, the person who was supposed to love and care for him even when he did good things but this mother was disappointed in her son when he changed his ways to help people.
"I expected better from you Ezra, I do expect you to change the way you are behaving." She stepped closer to him.
"This not the way I brought you up."
"Have you finished Mother." Ezra didn't wait for an answer he walked away from her. But she wasn't finished.
"You know they don't care about you, don't you Ezra. I can see the pity on their faces when they look at you." Maude watched as he walked away and saw his shoulders slump when she used the word pity.
Ezra kept walking, he made himself keep going as he tried to shut out his mother's words but he couldn't. They kept repeating themselves over and over again, especially the last comment that she had made. He somehow made his way to the bathhouse and managed to clean himself up. Once he had done that, he headed back to the saloon. By this time, his mother's words had settled in his mind and he allowed the insecure child in him to believe them. He again shut himself off from those around him. He closed himself off and put up his wall of defence.
***
Sarah had been watching from across the street. She was waiting for Mary outside the Clarion when she saw Ezra walk out of the saloon and then head down the street, she watched as Maude confronted her son. Sarah was going to cross the street and interrupt them but the confrontation was over before it had started so instead she headed to the saloon to let Chris know what she just saw.
She walked into the saloon and saw Chris and Vin sitting at one of the tables, their breakfast lying untouched before them. Sarah made her way to them and sat down at the table and hesitated as she didn't know how they were going to take the news.
"Something wrong Sarah?" Chris asked as her as he saw the concern on her face. He also noticed the pale blue dress that highlighted her fair skin even more.
"I just saw Mrs Standish . . ." She hesitated again.
"And?" Asked Vin even though he dreaded the answer.
"She stopped Ezra in the street, she was talking to him and from the look on his face he didn't like what she was telling him. It only lasted a couple of minutes and then he walked off."
"Reckon we should go after him?" Vin asked Chris.
"No let's just wait until he comes back and then see what his mood is like." Chris told him. He looked at Sarah and forced his face to smile at her. "Thanks for letting us know Sarah."
"Let me know if there is anything that I can do for him." She smiled and left them to comp template what they were going to do about Maude and Ezra.
Chris knew what he wanted to do with Maude but Ezra was going to be a different story. They only had to wait thirty minutes for Ezra to come back and the first thing they saw was the poker face that he was wearing, they both groaned at the sight as they knew what it meant. They were back were they started.
"Gentlemen." Ezra greeted them but he did not smile at them.
"Ezra, I hear that you were talking to Maude earlier." Chris wasn't going to tip toe around the gambler.
"I believe she did most of the talking." Ezra gave away as little as possible.
"You want to do some of your own talking?" Vin asked him.
"There is nothing to talk about." Ezra fought to keep control of his emotions, they were raging through him but his mother kept reminding him of what he was supposed to do so he wouldn't disappoint her.
Ezra jumped when Josiah placed his hand on his shoulder. "Please remove your hand Mr Sanchez."
"Sorry Ezra." Josiah took in the expressions on Chris and Vin's faces.
"Maude managed to speak to Ezra when we weren't looking." Chris explained.
"Then I suggest Chris that you return the favour." Josiah smiled at him. They all waited for Ezra to protest but he didn't, he actually surprised them.
"You better let Buck know as he wanted to watch." Ezra grimaced at the thought of Chris having a few words with his mother but deep down he was grateful that someone was going to as he was not strong enough to go against his mother at the moment. She knew exactly what to say to hurt him but she wouldn't be able to hurt Chris.
***
Sarah returned to the Clarion to wait for Mary. She was only there a few minutes when Mary stepped out. "Sarah I am going to be a while longer so if there is anything that you want to do . . " Mary informed her.
"I suppose I can go for a walk around town, take in the scenery." Sarah muttered trying to make Mary feel guilty and enjoying herself when she did.
"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you a promise." Mary tried her best to make her feel better.
"And what is it that you are going to do?" She asked her as she hid the smile behind her hand but Mary caught her.
"Sarah Doherty, how could you." Mary chided her.
"Maybe you could arrange dinner with those seven men as I would like to get to know one of them better." Sarah smiled wickedly at her.
"Anything, just get out of here and come back in an hour." Mary gave her a quick hug and watched her walk away.
***
The three men had been hiding in the house at the edge of town for four days without being spotted, they were wanted men and they needed rest before they moved on. They had heard about the seven lawmen that protected the town so they hid from them as they knew they would be recognised by them. They did not want to go back to jail. The men had been on the run for three months and they hid in each town they went to and they had never been caught so they kept doing it, it had become a habit hard to break. The three men were more desperate than they were dangerous.
"I'll be back in a minute." John told his two friends.
"Where are you going?" David asked him.
"Where do you think." He smiled back at him.
"Just make sure that nobody spots you because if they do they’ll tell the local law and then we will go back to jail." David called after him.
"Yeah, yeah." John waved back.
John was on his way back to the house when he saw the young woman picking flowers from the overgrown garden, she looked liked one of the townsfolk and he knew that she would know that he didn't live there. He tried to get by her but she looked up just before he was behind cover. He watched as the fair-skinned beauty looked at him and he couldn't help but smile back. 'Shit'. He thought to himself. He walked over to her intending to get rid of her but in a way so she wouldn't be found again. John looked around to make sure there was no one else close by.
"Good morning." He said to her.
"Morning. I hope you don't mind me picking some of these flowers, there beautiful." Sarah asked him.
"Not at all." He tipped his hat to her as she turned away from him and then quickly grabbed her around the waist and put his hand over her mouth. He then dragged her back into the house.
Sarah felt the arms grab her and she tried to scream but a hand was placed over her mouth to stop her voicing it. He struggled in the man's grip and tried to kick him with her legs, she felt her boots make contact and heard the man grunt in pain but he didn't let her go. She saw the distance between herself and the street lengthen and she began to fear for her life. The man turned around and forced her through the doorway of the house. She saw another two men in the house, both of them were large men, she couldn't make out their faces very well as they were covered in trial dirt. Sarah decided that they probably smelt as bad as the man holding her.
"What the hell are you doing John?" David growled at him.
"She saw me, what else was I supposed to do." John wined at him.
"Sometimes John . . ." He threw a piece of rope to him as he shook his head. "Tie her up and sit her where we can see her. We'll leave when it's dark."
"You know you can do some stupid things John." Mack told him.
"What. You told me what would happen if someone saw me. She saw me, I had to stop her from telling anyone." He continued to whine.
"Stop your whining John and tie her up already." David then pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gave it to him. "Shut her up as well."
Sarah felt the relief wash through her as she realised that all they were going to do was tie her up. She was supposed to meet Mary in twenty minutes and knew that when she didn't show up she would start looking for her. She just hoped that she wouldn't do it on her own.
***
Chris walked into the hotel and spotted Maude sitting at one of the tables. He had left the saloon after asking the others to watch Ezra and enjoyed the remarks that came out of the gambler's mouth - he was almost like his old self except that his old self was a mask that hid everything that he was feeling. He also hadn't told Buck that he was going to talk to Maude as it was just between the two of them. He made his way to the table and didn't ask for permission to sit down.
"Why Mr Larabee, what can I do you for this fine morning?" Maude knew exactly what he wanted but he was not going to get her help. As far as she was concerned, the only problem with Ezra was his involvement with these lawmen and the fact that he didn't seem to be able to hide his emotions as she had taught him to.
"I want to talk to you about Ezra but you know that already don't you." Chris kept his calm.
"And why would you want to talk about Ezra?"
"You don't want to know why the telegram said he needed you urgently?" Chris wanted to know as she hadn't even mentioned it.
"The only thing that Ezra needs is to get back his control." Maude smiled at Chris.
"Did Ezra tell you about Jack and what he did to him?" He thought that he saw Maude's poker face falter but only for a second.
"Yes he did. Why?" She had actually felt guilty about that but she also knew that he would have to have learnt a lot from the experience.
"And he told you that he nearly killed him once." Maude nodded. Chris changed the subject again, as he didn't want her to become comfortable with one subject, he hoped that by jumping around he would confuse her. He knew it would be hard but he had to try. "Did you know that he doesn't like to be touched, particularly when he's injured."
"He has been like that since he was a child." Maude confirmed. She didn't know where he was going with all this.
"Would you like to get to the point Mr Larabee as I don't have all day."
"You don't won't to take the time to find out what's been troubling your son?"
"That is not what I said and I told you, I already know what's wrong with him." She smiled again. "He is just seeking attention as he always does."
"Maude, I am just going to say this once. I have never hit a woman in my life but if you keep smiling like that you will be my first." Chris growled at her.
"If you are going to be like that, I am leaving." She made to get.
"Sit down Maude." Chris's voice was cold and she did as she was told. For the first time since she met this man, she was actually afraid. She regained her composure.
"Ezra is not seeking attention, he doesn't like to be touched as he associates it with concern. And you seemed to have convinced him that it is not concern but instead . . .pity"
"It was pity that he received, no one likes to put up with a child that is constantly doing things and making himself sick to get attention."
"Do you actually believed that he would get himself hurt on purpose." He couldn't believe this woman, he really did want to hit her.
"I know he used to make himself sick just before I asked my relatives to look after him for a while. He thought he could make me feel guilty and take him with me."
"And one of those relatives nearly killed him." Chris muttered. "Why did you tell him that no one would ever care for him?" His anger was beginning to fade, at that moment all he could do was feel for Ezra as he was getting a glimpse of what his childhood must have been like.
"Because he can't afford to allow people to care for him in this trade." Maude explained, she was confused as to why he needed to even ask her that question.
"Ezra thinks that no one cares for him and the only emotion that people show him is pity. It got to the point where he didn't want to feel that pity anymore. He hid a serious knife wound from us and it nearly killed him. All because you convinced him that the concern that he would have been shown would be pity." He noticed Maude wasn't shocked at that statement but he didn't know that she already knew about it. This brought his anger back.
"It's Ezra's own fault if he allows his stubbornness to get in the way." Maude argued.
"He's remembered the beating that nearly killed him. We actually managed to get something out of him. He doesn't like to talk about things either it seems." Maude didn't answer him. "You never encouraged him to talk about anything did you?"
"I taught Ezra to be strong. Showing any sort of emotion or to talk about that sort of thing would show him that he was weak. He needs to be strong to do what I taught him. If he allowed himself to show emotions, or talk about things, or even think that people care for him he wouldn't be able complete a successful con." She jumped as Chris's fist slammed against the table.
"And that's the reason he's being tortured by this memory, that's why he is going through hell right now. All because you told him not to show his feelings or to talk about them. Ezra is sick but not in a physical way and we don't know how to help him." He finally let his anger show.
"And you think that I can?"
"You spoke to him this morning and now he's changed, he's closed himself off again. Just like you always told him to." He sneered at her. "I want you to talk to him, tell him that he needs to talk about it and let it all out."
"No."
"Why not." Chris was stunned that his woman didn't even want to help her son.
"Because if he does it once he won't be able to keep control, he'll keep doing it. Were business people Mr Larabee and those sorts of feelings are not part of our nature. I won't allow my son to have them."
"He's been having nightmares you know."
"Everybody does."
"He wakes up screaming, soaking with sweat, he can't stop shaking. Ezra won't even sleep unless the light is on." Chris finally saw Maude's poker face falter.
"What does he dream about?" She asked him.
"As far as we can tell he dreams about his Uncle beating him. He wakes up terrified Maude, if you saw the look in his eyes . . ." Chris looked down as he remembered the look that was in Ezra's eyes the night before. "He was only twelve Maude. Twelve years old and his Uncle nearly beat him to death and he is only remembering it now."
"How could he remember it now. He told me about it the last time I was in town."
"He said that someone told him about it but he didn't actually remember the beating. But it came back to him last week and he's been a mess since. You have to talk to him Maude, for Ezra's sake."
"I already told you Mr Larabee, I will not allow my son to show those types of feelings."
Chris was about to lose his temper when Mary ran in to the hotel's restaurant. "Chris, I can't find Sarah anywhere. I think she's lost. I've looked everywhere for her and I can't find her."
Chris could see that Mary was distressed and that was the only reason he left Maude. "I'll be back Maude." He took Mary's arm and walked her outside. "We'll go to the saloon and then organise a search party. Don't worry Mary, we'll find her."
Chris walked into the saloon and saw that his friends were all now sitting at the table, Ezra included. Buck looked up at him and gave Chris a look of hurt. "Why did you leave me out of it Chris, I had a few words to say to that woman too you know."
"We all do Buck." Josiah agreed with him. Ezra kept his feelings to himself.
"So how did it go anyway?" Vin asked.
Chris looked at Ezra who returned the glance. He turned his face away so Ezra couldn't see the anger that he was feeling at his mother, if Ezra saw it then he would know that he had gotten nowhere with her. "We haven't got time for that. Mary said that Sarah is missing."
"Who's Sarah?" Ezra asked him.
Everyone was shocked. "You met Sarah yesterday, remember?" Nathan asked him, the concern showed in his voice and Ezra gave him an unpleasant look.
"Beautiful woman, shoulder length brown hair, hazel eyes, fair skin." Buck described her to him as he remembered every detail of that womanly beauty.
"I'm sorry but I don't seem to remember much about yesterday." Ezra told them as the only thing that he did remember was the dreams and he was going to say anything about them. He shut his mind off again so they couldn't see what he was feeling.
"That's okay Ezra. You know what she looks like, she's also wearing a pale blue dress." Chris added to Buck's description.
"And she was on foot so she couldn't have left town." Mary was worried sick about her close friend, it wasn't like her to run off. She began to think that something terrible had happened to her.
"I want you to look everywhere, ask people if they saw her. We'll meet back here in an hour." Chris nodded to them and they all got up and left in different directions.
Each hired lawman searched the town looking for Mary's friend, they checked the stores and hotels, giving people Sarah's description only to have the townsfolk tell them that they hadn't seen her. They searched everywhere just like Mary had and they got the same results. They each hoped that one of the others had found her. Each man made their way back to the saloon. Buck met Chris at the doors and followed him inside and they sat at their usual table.
"You didn't find her?" Buck asked him.
"No and I take it you didn't either." Buck shook his head. "We'll have to get more people and search everywhere again. She has to be somewhere."
"How did it go with Maude?" Buck asked carefully.
"Didn't even want to know." Chris muttered.
"What!" Buck jumped up out of his chair. "I am going to go and give that woman a piece of my mind. How could she not care about him. Damn that woman."
"Sit down Buck, it'll have to wait until after we find Sarah." Chris couldn't help but smile. "Besides you will have to wait until I've finished with her."
"Just as long as you leave something for me to chew on." Buck growled.
They waited quietly, each with the same thoughts, for the others to come back. As they arrived, they each reported that they hadn't found Sarah and that no one had seen her. Ezra hadn't arrived yet so they waited for him as they knew that he would be along any minute now and while they waited Chris told them about his talk with Maude.
***
Ezra had been able to keep his emotions under control in front of his friends but now that he was, alone he was finding it hard keep them that way, the strongest feeling was the fear. He couldn't keep that one at bay. He had walked to the edge of town and stopped when he reached the empty house. The Henderson's had lived here but they moved to Bitter Creek a couple of months ago. It was a small house and no one had been interested in purchasing it when they had left. He made one last attempt to get the feelings under control and failed. He had to check the house, with the emotions continuing to destroy him he walked up the stairs and opened the front door. Ezra wasn't concentrating on what he was doing, he thought that Sarah was lost, he didn't expect to find her in the house but he did. She was tied up in a chair with a gun placed against her head and two guns were then pointed in his direction.
"Get in here now." David ordered him.
Ezra carefully stepped into the main room of the small house. He looked over at Sarah and recognised her from Buck's description. His focus was brought back to the two men in front of him when one of them came forward and collected his guns. Ezra regretted not taking the time to fix his derringer in place before he left his room that morning. He struggled with his emotions, he needed to concentrate but he wasn't able to. The men thought that they had caused the fear to show in Ezra's eyes.
"Look he's scared." John laughed at him.
"I assure you my fear has nothing to do with you." Ezra growled at him. He hoped that these men would make him angry as he needed it to take control as it had always done before.
"There's no one else here for you to be afraid of." Mack told him.
Ezra looked them over carefully, they didn't look like real criminals, and they seemed more like scavengers. But they were hiding in this empty house and they had taken Sarah for a reason so he wasn't going to underestimate them. He had to think of a way to get them both out of this situation safely but at that moment his mind was flooded with emotions and he couldn't gain control over them no matter how much he tried.
"What are we going to do with them David?" Asked John.
"Give me a minute to think." It was only a few hours until sunset and he needed to do something with them to stop them from escaping, they needed to get away and have a head start before anyone came after them.
"Why don't you throw them in the cellar." Mack suggested.
Ezra felt the fear rip through him. He wasn't going to go back down there, he would die before he allowed them to put him in there again.
"I'm not going in there." Ezra warned them.
"Yes you are, you don't have a choice." Mack told him.
"Then you will have to throw my corpse in there because I'm not going down there while I'm still breathing."
Sarah was listening to the conversation and couldn't believe what Ezra was saying, she realised the cellar would explain his fear of the dark. She watched as the man called John came over and untied her hands.
"Your serious aren't you?" David asked Ezra.
"I'm not going down there." He told them for the third time. Ezra was barely holding himself together, he knew that he was shaking but these men hadn't noticed it yet. His heart felt like ice and he wanted to scream at them the same way he screamed at his Uncle to let him out. "I'm not going down there."
David could see the man shaking and realised that if he was that scared then he could become very dangerous. They would have to be quick. "Mack, open the cellar door and put the woman in there, then we'll take care of this coward."
Ezra could see that they were bigger than him and that they would eventually take him but not without a fight and if he could get hold of one of their guns he would kill them. He wasn't going to go down there. No way in hell. Because that's what it was, it was hell and he never wanted to go through that again. He watched as Mack opened the door and he could see the darkness beckoning to him. "I'm not going down there." he muttered. He felt like he was twelve years old again.
Sarah wanted to call out to Ezra but the dirty handkerchief was still wrapped around her face, causing the only noise to come out as a groan. As she got closer to the door, she could see the terror in his eyes and she knew that the cellar was part of his memory. She was roughly pushed down the stairs and told to stay or else he would make her stay. Mack then went back up, he was looking forward to taking care of the fancy dressed man.
Ezra looked at the three of them as they stood in front of him. Only one of them now held a gun as the other two had put them on the table out of his reach. They moved towards him and he braced himself, he wasn't going to go down there. Mack and John both tried to grab an arm but before they could, Ezra slammed his fist into John's nose and he felt it break beneath his fist. John screamed at the pain and clutched his nose to try to stop the flow of blood.
While Ezra did this Mack was able to land a blow to his kidney. Ezra felt the pain tear through his back as the memory tore through his mind. He didn't turn around but instead elbowed Mack in the jaw knocking him backwards. Ezra then turned his oncoming anger back to John. He hit his nose again with full force and the man screamed a second time as he fell to the ground. Ezra then began to kick him as his Uncle had done to him after removing him from the cellar. The anger had taken control of Ezra and it had done such a good job that he had forgotten about the other two men in the room. David came up behind him and slammed the butt of his gun into the back of Ezra's skull. He smiled as the gambler fell across John. He kicked him in the side for good measure.
"Get him off me." John yelled, he coughed at the taste blood as it fell down the back of his throat.
"Give me a hand Mack." Together they dragged Ezra off him and to the dark opening in the floor, they didn't bother to take him down the stairs. They pulled him into the opening and then let him fall the rest of the way. David then shut and locked the door.
Sarah looked up as something blocked the light that was shining into the cellar, she knew that it was Ezra and she watched, helpless as there was nothing that she could do, as he fell to the cellar floor. The fall wasn't from a great height as the roof was only eight foot above them. She heard the noise as Ezra's body hit the floor and she ran to him trying to see if she could determine what damage there was before the light disappeared but it was gone before she reached him.
She had to put her hands out in front of her to feel for him as it was too dark to see him. Sarah finally found him and using her hands she felt his body for any injuries, the only being the bleeding wound on the back of his head. She lifted his shoulders up and pulled his upper body to her chest and held him as she had an idea of what his reaction will be when he woke up and she wanted him to know that there was someone else down here with him.
***
They had waited thirty minutes past the hour that they had agreed on and Ezra still hadn't shown up. They were all worried because of the state of mind he was in. Chris had been pacing the floor the same way Buck had paced the boardwalk when they were waiting for Maude the week before. "JD go and check if Ezra is with his mother at the hotel."
JD ran out of the saloon and was back five minutes later to say that he wasn't. Chris continued to pace the floor, the others watched him and waited for his decision. "I don't think that Ezra is capable of doing anything drastic as he would have done it by now so whatever happened to Sarah must have happened to Ezra." Chris told them as he paced.
"Or even better, he found her and they are sitting somewhere taking about things." Buck hoped.
"No. They would have let us know, Sarah would know that Mary was worried about her." Chris shattered Buck's hope.
"Get as many people together as you can and start searching, if you find them fire your gun in the air." For the second time they left the saloon to search for Sarah but this time the search included Ezra.
***
Ezra could feel the pain at the back of his head as he woke up, he wondered what had caused it. He could feel himself wrapped up in something and he thought that it must have been his bedcover. He moved a little and felt the grip become tighter and he thought that it was strange as bedcovers don't usually do that. He tried moving more and the hold on him became even stronger. He opened his eyes and saw the darkness, he began to struggle against whatever was holding him as the memory and emotions washed over him.
"Ezra, it's Sarah, you’re not alone, and I’m here with you." She held on as tight as she could but he was obviously stronger.
"Ezra it's okay, you’re not alone this time." Sarah hoped that she was saying the right thing.
He could hear a female voice and knew that it was not part of the memory, the grip on him was not brutal or forceful. It took him a few moments to register the name and who the woman was. "Sarah?" His voice shook with fear.
"Yes Ezra, it's Sarah. Do you know who I am?" She asked him as she continued to hold him, she had noticed that his heart was now beating a lot faster than it was.
"Your Mary's friend."
"Yes. How are you doing?"
"My head hurts." He told her as he thought that was what she was talking about.
"I'm not talking about that Ezra. You didn't want to come down here. You were terrified." She reminded him.
Ezra tore himself from her grip and felt her as she tried to grab him again. "A slight exaggeration I am sure." He tried to sound confident but failed miserably. He stood up and walked slowly until he bumped into the wall, he then followed it until he reached the corner. Ezra then sat down and drew his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around them to try to stop his body shaking as he relived his nightmare.
Ezra couldn't stop shaking, he couldn't stop remembering and most of all he couldn't stop feeling. His heart was pounding in his ears and he knew that it was beating too fast. He was in the cellar again and he couldn't get out, the darkness surrounded him even more than it had done before. He could hear the scurrying noises but didn't realise that it was only in his mind. Everything was the same as it was before, the darkness, the rats and the loneliness, they had left him alone. 'But I'm not alone.' He thought to himself, he remembered that there was someone with him.
"Sarah?" He whispered as he didn't want to let the rats know he was hiding in the corner.
"I'm here Ezra. Keep talking so I can find you." Sarah had panicked herself for a moment in the total darkness when Ezra tore himself from her grip. She had tried to grab him again but couldn't.
"I don't think I can do this." Ezra's voice was shaking as much as his body was, he tried to steady it so Sarah wouldn't know how scared he was. He cried out when he felt her hand touch his face and he violently threw his head away from her touch and hit his head against the wall.
"It's me Ezra, it's okay." Sarah said to him gently, she had felt his face under her touch and then it was gone. She heard the noise as his head hit the wall and she remembered what Chris had said - that Ezra didn't liked to be touched. Sarah ignored what he said and moved her hand down to his shoulder, he didn't move away from her. She could feel him shaking beneath her hand.
"You can get through this Ezra. I'm here with you, I'll help you get through it." Sarah sat down next to him and made sure that their bodies were touching so he wouldn't forget that she was there. "Ezra, are you with me?" He didn't answer her. Sarah kept talking to him anyway, she didn't want him to come back to a quiet darkness that was suffocating him.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four
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