The Magnificent Seven Fic - 'A Life Threatened' - 3/3

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Title: A Life Threatened
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, the guys and an OMC.
Summary: After Chris receives a warning that one of his close friends on Team 7 will be killed in an act of revenge against him, he protects those that he thinks are in danger but has he made the wrong decision.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 24,521





Chris drove away from Hank Loyd's apartment, Josiah sat in the passenger seat, and the same dejected expression was on his face. They had search the small one bedroom flat and found nothing. The man was good. He left no traces that could lead him to where he was keeping Ezra. He jumped when his cell phone rang, he hesitated before removing it from the inside of his jacket.

"Larabee . . . . no, don't open it until we get there, we'll be ten minutes . . . . no nothing! The man was always good, he knows what he's doing . . . . yeah but I'm beginning to doubt we'll find him alive Buck . . . . yeah."

Chris hung up. "There's another package. This time it was handed into a police station by a civilian. Idiots took it without asking any questions."

"Shit." Josiah muttered. The man had said he was going to have fun with Ezra, and he was afraid that this next lot of photos were going to show what that fun was.

"We have to find him alive Josiah." Chris turned to him. "I don't think I could handle the guilt, I only just managed after Sarah and Adam, I don't think I could go through that sort of guilt again." his hands began to shake.

"Pull over Chris and let me drive." Josiah told him. He knew Chris was in a bad way when he did as he was told, the man was also afraid of what the new photos were going to tell them.

They quickly changed positions and now Josiah was driving through the streets of Denver back to the teams offices in the ATF building.

"You can't blame yourself for this Chris. The man got the wrong impression."

"It was an impression we gave him, I gave it to him."

"Ezra also gave it to him Chris. No one can take the blame for this."

"That was the wrong thing to say Josiah," Chris couldn't stop the smile that tugged at his lips. "Ezra wouldn't blame anything on anyone but himself, he takes responsibility for everything, and he no doubt blames himself for this and for putting me through all of this guilt."

"You have a point there." Josiah felt the tension within the car ease a bit.

******

Chris stepped into the room and saw the package that was sitting on the table, it was a lot thicker than the last one they had received. He looked around at the pale faces that greeted him, everyone was thinking the same thing. Chris picked it up, his hands were still shaking, and he felt a firm grip stop the shaking and looked up at Josiah.

"I'll do it Chris." He took the package away from him and tore it open, he pulled the photos out and moved closer to the large corkboard that was used to place photo's of evidence on.

Josiah pinned the first photo to the wall. It was a close up of Ezra's face, his eyes were open and staring back at the camera.

HE LOOKS FINE now DOESN'T HE. THAT WILL CHANGE!

A second photo of Ezra's face, it was another close up but this time Ezra wasn't looking at them.

STANDISH IS A GOOD LOOKING GUY! THINK I SHOULD SCAR THIS PRETTY FACE?!

Josiah removed the third photo and pinned it next to the second one. It was a profile of Ezra's face, a hand gripped his jaw forcing his head to the side. The healing scar and fading bruise appeared darker in the black and white photo.

A NASTY INJURY! THINK I SHOULD GIVE HIM A MATCHING ONE ON THE OTHER SIDE?!

Josiah's own hands began to shake, he took a deep breath and stole a glance at the next photo.

"Son of a bitch!" He knew everyone's eyes were on him. He stuck the photo on the wall and stepped away. Other muttered curses reached his ears but he didn't take notice of them, he couldn't distract himself from the photo. Ezra's head had been forced to face the right to reveal the left side of his face. A new wound stared out at them, the laceration wasn't large but the bruising had already begun to form around it. A trail of blood ran from the wound down his cheek onto the hand that was holding his jaw.

FEELING GUILT YET LARABEE?! IF NOT THEN PLEASE CONTINUE!

Chris wanted to tell Josiah that he felt guilty enough, that he didn't need to see anymore but he could no longer speak. He watched as Josiah placed another photo on the board that was nailed to the wall behind it. This one was a full body shot. Ezra had been stripped of his upper clothing, his head hung against his chest.

There was no caption.

Another photo. This one was a close up of his wrists, the steel handcuffs were digging into his skin and it gave them the impression that they were scraping against the bones.

"He's unconscious." Nathan spoke up.

The next photo showed a very conscious Ezra Standish, the injury on his face was in full view and so was the pain that he was in.

The view shone in the next one made everyone moan, they knew from the previous photos what was going to happen. It showed the bruising on Ezra's side.

HIS RIBS AREN'T BROKEN SO I THOUGHT I WOULD DO THE HONOR!

Josiah's hands were shaking so badly that he pricked his finger while trying to pin the photo to the board.

The photo showed the fresh injury to Ezra's side, the skin had even broken in places and the blood ran down his side and disappeared under the waistband of his trousers.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN WITH US LARABEE, YOU COULD HAVE HEARD HIM SCREAM!

It was a couple of minutes before Josiah had the courage to remove the next photo, it was a close up of Ezra's legs.

"Oh no." JD moaned before he even read the caption, he voiced all of their fears.

THE BASTARD MANAGED TO KICK ME THREE TIMES! SO I'M GOING TO BREAK HIS LEG!!

Josiah placed the next photo on the wall, Ezra's leg now hung at an awkward angle, but their eyes were looking at the baseball bat that was leaning against the wall next to it.

YOU SHOULD BE FEELING GUILTY BY NOW LARABEE!

The next photo was a mistake. It was taken from a low angle to show the way the handcuffs were now tearing through Ezra's wrists because he wasn't able support his weight. It also showed the broken window above him. There was no caption.

There was one photo left, Josiah didn't want to put it up but Chris nodded to him, they had to see it. The expression on Ezra's face was one of pure agony. There wasn't a caption, the photo and expression told them everything. Chris ran to the board and tore it off.

A shroud of silence hung in the room that lasted for ten minutes, each man looked from one photo to the next.

"At least we know he's alive." Vin muttered.



"He was alive then! It doesn't mean he's alive now!" Chris stood staring at the photo that showed the window and the warehouse beyond it. There was an old faded sign that brought a memory to the forefront of his mind. "I know where he is." Chris turned to them. "I know where he is!"

"Where?" Josiah asked him.

"The warehouse where it all originally happened. He's taken Ezra there." Chris ran out of the room with everyone following him, each of them saying their own silent prayer that they weren't going to be too late.

******

Chris slowly drove around the large warehouse, he spotted the back end of a black dodge peeking out from the side of the building, and he drove towards it then carefully applied the brakes until Buck's car rolled to a stop. Four men got out of the car, they left the doors open, they didn't want to make any sort of noise that would give them away. The last thing they wanted to hear was a single gunshot, unless it was fired by one of them. Chris looked over his shoulder to see Nathan and Josiah exit their own car in the same way. He motioned to Buck and Vin to follow him to the small the door that would allow them to enter the building.

"Vin. As soon as he goes for a weapon or if he has, one in his hand take your shot. I don't want to give him a chance to hurt Ezra anymore." He looked into Vin's light blue eyes. "Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

Vin nodded, he would do it anyway, even without Chris's instructions. He moved into position between Chris and Buck.

"JD you stay out here and wait for the medics, they should be here any minute now." Chris ordered him.

They had phoned for an ambulance on the way over and threatened them that if they used their sirens they would be riding in the back of the ambulance instead of the front on the way back to the hospital.
Chris tried the door handle, it was locked. He nodded to Vin and Buck to make sure they were ready. They both indicated that they were. Chris faced the door and kicked it in, all three men entered the large area at once. Chris and Buck immediately moved to the side.

"ATF! Put your hands in the air where we can see them!" Chris yelled at the top of his lungs, he needed to alleviate some of his anger at the sight before him, it was even worse than the photos. Ezra hung limply by the handcuffs on his wrists. His side was covered in blood and his leg was twisted into an awkward position.
Hank Loyd spun on his heels in shock, Larabee wasn't supposed to find them. He knew he would eventually figure out who was doing this to him but to find him and Standish before he killed him, that wasn't part of the plan. He pulled the gun from his waistband but before he could raise it high, enough to use it a bullet entered his heart, stopping it from pumping blood to his revenge-crazed mind.

Chris ran to Ezra, his eyes and gun were aimed at the man who was lying at his friends feet. He nudged the man with his foot, when there was no movement he put his gun back in its holster and turned to Ezra.

"Don't touch him Chris!" Nathan yelled out to him as he ran towards them. "CHRIS! DON'T TOUCH HIM!"

Chris stepped away from Ezra's inert form. He heard Nathan's words, he wanted to get Ezra down but Nathan knew what he was talking about.

"Medics are here!" JD yelled into the warehouse as he entered it.

Nathan and the others caught up with Chris. The ex-medic stepped forward and lifted Ezra's face, the eyes were open and staring back at him. Nathan's heart skipped a beat.

"Nathan?" Ezra's voice was full of pain.

"We're here Ezra." Nathan confirmed for him. "Try not to move, we'll get you down in a sec."

Nathan turned to see the two medics running towards them with a stretcher and medical equipment.

"Give them some room guys." Nathan pushed the others out of the way.

The first medic quickly examined Ezra, he gently felt his side and everybody winced when they heard Ezra moan. He ran a hand expertly over the broken leg then checked the two head wounds.

"Joe I'll need an airtight dressing, he's got a sucking wound." He looked towards Nathan and Josiah. "Can you help me lift him down."

When Nathan and Josiah joined him at Ezra's side, he indicated what part of the body to touch. "We have to be careful of his broken ribs, one has already punctured the skin's surface, and we don't one doing the same to his lung." He positioned himself next to Ezra. "On three we lift and you," he looked at Nathan, "keep his arms above his head."

He counted to three and together he and Josiah lifted Ezra. Nathan made sure the cuffs easily came free of the hook on the wall and kept his arms in an upright position. Josiah lifted him into his arms, while the medic supported the broken leg, the movement caused Ezra to cry out in pain. He laid him down on the stretcher and stepped back. The first medic then carefully brought Ezra's arms down and placed an oxygen tank between his legs and a mask over his mouth and nose.

"Is there any chance you have keys so we can remove these." The medic pointed at the bloody handcuffs.

Vin moved to the corpse of Hank Loyd and checked his pockets, he returned to the stretcher and handed the man the key. He watched as the cuffs were removed, he looked at Ezra when he heard the small whimpers escape from his throat as the steel was pulled away from the torn and bloodied flesh. As soon as his hands were free, Ezra lifted his left arm and removed the oxygen mask.

"Chris . . . ." Ezra moaned, his eyes moved from one person to the next looking for him. "Chris . . . . "

"I'm here Ezra . . . you just take it easy, we're all here." Chris came forward and leant over the stretcher. He looked into Ezra's pain filled eyes while he tried to put the mask back in place.

"Not your . . . fault!" Ezra growled up at him. "Not . . . your . . . fault!"

"We'll talk about this later Ezra. Don't talk now, let these guys take care of you first." Chris told him as he forced him to accept the oxygen mask. "Later Ezra." He wiped the damp hair from Ezra's forehead and felt him nod underneath his hand.

The two men finished applying an airtight dressing around the fractured ribs and puncture wound, they then placed Ezra's right arm across his stomach to help support his ribs. Once the broken leg was supported and a makeshift bandage placed around his two head wounds he was wheeled towards the door that gave him his freedom from his cell of torture.

"I need two people to stay here and clean this up." Chris looked at his men.

"I'll stay." Vin volunteered.

"Me too." JD agreed.

"Thanks." Chris ran out after the medics so he could catch them and ride to the hospital with Ezra.

******

Vin and JD stepped through the open sliding doors and headed straight for the waiting room, they knew the others would be there waiting for news on Ezra. Everyone was there except Chris. Vin could see three heads that hung low, their eyes watching something that was torturing their own minds. Vin knew what the images were, he couldn't get the photos of Ezra out of his own mind, they were going to be there for quite a while, and they were going to play repeatedly through his mind along side of the real image of Ezra when they had found him. He didn't want to speak, he was afraid that when they heard his voice, their mournful expressions would look up at him and tell him that Ezra didn't make it. He heard JD's voice breaking the silence.

"How's Ezra?" He moved forward and sat in the empty chair next to Buck.

"He's going to be okay with time, his injuries aren't serious but they are going to cause him a lot of pain for a while." Nathan informed him as he looked up at the sound of JD's concern, he looked across at Vin and saw the relief that lined his face. "The head wounds weren't serious, he has a concussion, and the guy hit his forehead twice. The right leg has a nasty break but the Doctor said that he wouldn’t be left with a limp. One of his broken ribs punctured through his skin, but there weren't any complications. And they had to stitch the flesh around his wrists, some of the tears were deep, one cuff nearly tore open his main artery." He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "We're waiting for them to settle him into a room before we go in."

"Where's Chris?" Vin asked.

"He's with Ezra." Buck smiled but it was a smile that showed a lot of guilt and worry. "He wouldn't leave Ezra for a second, even pulled his gun on the Doctor, and didn’t want him to feel alone. We over did it last time, we should have been there more often for him."

"Gentlemen." They all turned towards the sound of the female voice that interrupted them. "You can go and see Mr Standish now, he's in room 202."

"Thanks." Josiah smiled at the young lady and walked quickly to Ezra's room.

Josiah walked into the room first, the sight was a lot more pleasant than the last one he had of Ezra, and he was now lying on his back instead of hanging by a hook. The blanket only covered him to his waist, the thick bandage that was wrapped around his waist hid the wound that one of the ribs had caused. His eyes lifted to Ezra's face, it was even paler than the bandage that covered his forehead, it hid both the old and new wounds but not the bruising that had managed to find a way to sneak out from under the bandage to surround his eyes. But it was the peaceful expression on his slack face that brought comfort to Josiah's heart, it was a stark contrast to the photo that showed the agony that he had been feeling. He felt himself being pushed forward and he complied with the request and stepped further into the room.

Buck pushed Josiah out of the way and headed straight to the bed, he stood behind Chris and looked down into Ezra's face, and his head was leaning towards his left shoulder so he was facing anyone who sat on his left side. He placed his hand Chris's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Ezra was right Chris, it's not your fault." Buck told him.

Nathan stood at the foot of the bed and listened to what Buck had said, he could see the guilt that he wore. There was too much guilt within the room and it hung like a shroud that wanted to engulf all of them.

"Not about this Buck." Chris looked at Ezra's injuries, the elevated leg, the broken ribs and his forehead. "If I protected him he wouldn't be in this condition, he wouldn't have gone through all that pain. Your saw the look on his face in that photo. I should have protected him from that."


"We can argue over who's to blame later Chris, just be glad that he's okay." Josiah told him after he sat down in the chair that was on the right side of the bed, he wanted to pick up Ezra's hand but couldn't, it had been placed into a sling to help support his ribs.

The rest of the team stayed quiet and found a position in the room to wait for Ezra to wake up, they wanted him to see all of them there so he would know that they did care about him, they weren't going to leave him alone this time.

******

Ezra woke to feel an extreme amount of pain emanating from his entire right side, it added to the headache that still hadn't gone away. He wasn't sure where he was and for a moment he panicked, his eyes sprung open as he tried to sit up, he let out a scream when the pain erupted to take control of his mind.

"Ezra! It's okay, you’re in the hospital, your okay now." Nathan leaned over him and pushed his shoulders back down. "Calm down Ezra, your okay."

Ezra could hear Nathan's comforting voice, his mind relaxed and his body followed it's instructions but the pain didn't ease, he felt a cloth wipe his face and he cautiously opened his eyes, he could see a face leaning over him but he had to blink a few times before it came into focus. He forced a smile onto his face at the sight of the pair of bright blue eyes that stared back at him.

"Ezra, it's good to have you back." Chris returned the smile even though he could see the pain in Ezra's eyes, he wanted to take that pain away, put himself in Ezra's place so he didn't have to suffer any more.

"Not your . . . fault." Ezra's expression became serious, but it fell away as another bolt of pain tore through him.

"I'll go and get a nurse." Buck told them.

He could see the pain that Ezra was in and like Chris he wanted to do anything, he could to alleviate it.

"That's what we keep telling him Ezra, but will he listen, no. The man is as stubborn as you are." Vin spoke from the other side of the bed and Ezra had to turn his head to look at him.

As his head moved to the right Ezra saw his friends in the room with him, he wanted to greet them with a smile and not let them see the pain that he was in but his teeth were tightly clenched, he forced his face to relax when his eyes focused on Vin.

"You need to . . . be more . . . persuasive."

"And you need to stop talking and get some rest." Chris ordered him.

Ezra had turned back to Chris and looked into his eyes. He could see the guilt behind the relief.

"Not until you say it!" Ezra demanded, he didn't like seeing the guilt in his eyes. "It's not your . . . fault."

"It wasn't my fault." Chris lied.

"Don't lie to me Chris."

"Then I'm sorry Ezra but I can't say what I believe to be wrong." He hoped that the state Ezra was in would stop him from seeing the lie but the man was good.

"Argue about it later!" Nathan growled at both of them. "Ezra needs his rest and this won't help him."

"How did you find . . . me?" Ezra ignored Nathan and smiled when he heard him grunt in frustration.

"One of the pictures that Loyd sent showed your wrists, it was an upward angle so it also showed the window above you. I recognised a sign that was in the background of the picture." Chris explained.

"Who was he?" Ezra didn't want to move his head anymore so he continued to look at Chris. "And why . . . did he want to hurt . . . you?"

"Later Ezra! You need to rest and I won't take an argument from you." Nathan still stood next to Chris.

"Ah, the forever concerned friend." Ezra smiled up at him. "Will you be . . . staying with me Nathan . . . or has someone else drawn the . . . short straw?"

Nathan looked away from him to hide his smile.

"You didn't?" Ezra tried to raise his eyebrows but the bandage stopped them from moving.

"No, I did." Chris smiled at him.

"Good Lord." Ezra sighed.

"Got a problem with that Ezra?" Chris prodded his left arm.

"No, no problem at all." Ezra inwardly grimaced at the thought of Chris looking after him.

Ezra didn't turn towards the door when it opened but he heard Nathan's voice as he told the nurse how much pain he was in. He heard the door close again.

"She'll be back in a minute Ezra with something to ease the pain."

Ezra nodded, he was in too much pain to refuse it.

******

Chris sat in the fading darkness of Ezra's bedroom, his eyes took turns to glance out of the ground floor window at the colourful rays of the new days rising sun that began to reveal the sleeping form in the large double bed. It had only been two weeks since they had rescued him and the pain that Ezra was feeling was only beginning to subside. But Chris's guilt had continue to grow. Ezra had constantly told him that it wasn't his fault but who else's fault was it, he had given Loyd exactly what he wanted, someone that he didn't think he cared about. But he did care, he chastised himself for not showing Ezra that he cared.

He stood up and leaned over Ezra when he heard his breathing change rhythm, it had quickened. He turned on the small lamp on the bed side table so it could help reveal the sleeping features, he saw the paleness of Ezra's flesh, he could also see the small droplets of sweat that had begun to form on his forehead, he knew Ezra was in pain but the stubborn southerner wouldn't admit it. Chris grabbed a cloth and wiped Ezra's face. The touch caused him to jerk awake.

"It's okay Ezra, your okay."

"Chris?" Ezra's eyes fluttered opened and quickly closed again.

"Yeah it's me, go back to sleep Ezra." Chris continued to wipe his face while he drifted back to sleep.


He settled back down into his chair and his eyes moved back to the window, the sun was rising and he was going to try to take some enjoyment in it. He looked back at Ezra and smiled, the early sun would also rise him from his slumber and he wasn't going to like that. It had been his first night in his own bed, the Doctor had finally released him from the hospital. He didn't want to but they had to compromise with the stubborn southerner, he had agreed to stop threatening them with physical harm if they released him and allowed him to go home, they agreed, but only on the condition that someone stayed with him twenty four hours a day for another week. Ezra had relented but complained about that part of the bargain for the rest of the day.

Chris hadn't been looking forward to the first few days alone with Ezra, mainly because of the guilt he was feeling, he was afraid of an argument developing. Ezra was serious about it at first but as time went by and he still saw the guilt in his blue eyes every time he looked at him that anger had grown just as much as Chris's guilt. Josiah had intervened and said that he would stay with them for the first night and the rest of the guys had volunteered to spend the weekend. Chris thought that it was only delaying the inevitable but he saw Ezra relax at the suggestion so he also agreed.

As the hour passed slowly the room began to become brighter, Chris leaned over and turned the lamp off, he saw Ezra stir out of the corner of his eye and quickly turned back to him. He waited but the smaller man had settled back down again. Chris could also hear Josiah moving around in the spacious kitchen but didn't go out to greet him, he wasn't going to leave Ezra to wake up alone. The only time he had left the southerner in the last two weeks was when he was awake, but he stayed by his side when he was asleep, he wanted to be there each time he woke up.

He saw the slight movement coming from the bed again and heard Ezra voice the pain that the movement caused. He shifted from his seat to the other side of the bed and sat on down next to Ezra's uninjured side. He waited patiently for him to fully wake. The guilt continued to tug at his heart each time a grimace crossed the handsome face in front of him. He watched as Ezra's eyes opened and the pain in them was evident.

"What time is it?" Ezra whispered.

"Nearly six." He saw the slight nod as Ezra closed his eyes and allowed his head to roll to the side so his chin rested on his left shoulder. Chris knew he intended to go back to sleep but he also knew that the pain wouldn't let him.

"Josiah's making some coffee, you want some?"

"No."

"Breakfast?" Chris raised his eyebrows, it was an effort for any of them to get him to eat this early in the morning.

"Hell no." Ezra smiled but his eyes stayed hidden, he didn't want Chris to see his pain, it only made his guilt stronger. "Chris?"

"You need something Ezra?"

"Yes I do, I need you to stop feeling guilty." Ezra opened his eyes and looked straight into Chris's blue ones, he could see so much guilt in them.

Chris didn't answer him, he had to force himself to continue looking into Ezra's green eyes, they seemed to be darker they were normally were, he knew it was because of the pain that filled them.
Ezra became angry at the silence that Chris gave him, he wanted an answer.

"Get out!" Ezra turned away from him.

"I'm not going anywhere Ezra, I'm not leaving you alone." Chris told him.

"Get out! I can't handle seeing that guilt every time I look at you!" Ezra growled at him. "Get the hell out!"

"Ezra . . . "

"No, I can't look at you, all that guilt!" Ezra shifted in his bed and clenched his teeth against the pain in his side and right leg.

"I'm sorry Ezra." Chris got up off the bed.

"Get out!"

"I'll come back when you calm down Ezra." Chris began to walk away from the bed towards the open doorway, he could see Josiah standing near the opening, and he was listening to Ezra's anger but not stopping it.

"You can come back when you stop feeling guilty." Ezra told the retreating back.

Chris left the room and ignored Josiah as he walked passed him, he felt the larger man begin to follow him though, he sighed and prepared himself for Josiah's demands for him to stop blaming himself for what happened to Ezra. But how could he, it was his fault, he wasn't just repeating himself, he allowed Ezra to be on his own, he never should have done that.

Josiah sat down in the chair across from Chris, he pushed the cup of coffee towards him then sat back. When Chris lifted his head, he could see the guilt that Ezra was talking about. He stretched his long legs under the table then leaned back.

"There's something else Chris." Josiah told him.

"Don't you start Josiah." Chris warned him.

"I mean with Ezra, don't you see it or is your guilt blinding you." Josiah pulled his legs back towards his chair and leaned forward. "I can see a look in his eyes, it's the same as the one I saw before. For some reason he's feeling alone again."

Chris frowned and looked up into Josiah's eyes, he didn't see any guilt or anger, only understanding and concern. "Why would he feel alone? I've been with him all the time and the other guys have spent every spare minute they had with him."

"I think it may have something to do with the guilt your feeling." Josiah revealed to him. "You know he's angry about that."

"Why would my guilt make him feel lonely or even angry for that matter?" Chris needed to know.

"I don't know Chris, but I think we need to find out before it gets out of hand."

"Do you think he'll listen to me if I talk to him?" Chris asked him.

"No, not while you’re still feeling guilty over this." Josiah informed him. "You need to deal with your guilt Chris. I'll go and sit with Ezra while you think about what you’re doing to him."

Those last words cut Chris like a knife. 'What he was doing to him.' What was he doing to him?
Chris looked over his shoulder to see Josiah enter the bedroom, he wish he could see Ezra's face, to look into his eyes and see the loneliness that Josiah had told him was there, again he hadn't seen it. Was he too busy thinking about himself to see what Ezra was going through. His guilt was doing something to him and hadn't seen it, Ezra was hiding it like he had hidden it before. But Josiah had seen it again, he had been the one who saw it the last time.

******

Josiah stood in the doorway for a moment and watched Ezra before he entered the room, Ezra looked as though he had fallen asleep again. His eyes travelled from the healing wound on his forehead down to the pale scars on his left wrist, the Doctor had removed the stitches the day before so Ezra didn't have to return to the hospital to have it done. The right wrist wasn't visible to his eye because the arm was still in a sling. The bottom of the blanket had been pulled off his broken leg, it revealed the slightly purple toes that protruded from the cast that was now covered in get well wishes and dirty jokes; that had been Buck's idea.

Ezra hadn't wanted them to write on it so they did it when he was sleeping, he hadn't been impressed when he woke up. Josiah saw a grimace of pain on Ezra's face that told him was still awake. He moved to the chair that sat facing Ezra's right side, he sat down into it and expected Ezra to look to see who it was but his eyes stayed hidden behind closed eyelids.

"You okay Ezra?" Josiah waited for an answer and after a few seconds Ezra surprised him by being open with him.

"No Josiah, I'm not." Ezra turned and opened his eyes.

"You want to talk about it?" Josiah moved to the bed and sat down without causing Ezra's body any more pain.

"I can't handle the guilt he's feeling." Ezra was hesitant for a moment, he wasn't sure if he wanted to tell Josiah the whole truth so he settled for part of it.

"What else is wrong?" He saw the shock flicker through Ezra's eyes before he looked away. "I know there's something else Ezra."

"Why does Chris feel so guilty?" Ezra asked him, he knew Josiah would be truthful with him even though he himself didn't return the favour.

"You know why Ezra, he stood back and gave you some space, left you alone and this gave Loyd something to use but he manipulated it until it suited his needs."

"Josiah . . . does he care?" Ezra wouldn't look at him when he voiced what he had begun to fear.

"Yes he does, that's why he's feeling so guilty." Josiah frowned down at him. "Is that what's wrong, you don't think Chris cares?"

"I don't know Josiah, I'm confused, and something that guy said to me keeps coming back. I don't want to believe it but his words won't go away."

"What did he say?" Josiah gently prodded him, the last thing he wanted was for Ezra to shut him out after he'd already told him so much.

'And that's why he didn't protect you? Because he cares?' The words echoed in Ezra's mind. Did Chris allow him to leave that day because he didn't care? Did he not protect him like the others because he didn't care? They both knew that Ezra wasn't in any danger but Ezra had plenty of time to think about it lately. If he had been after one of the others he could have easily used him to get to them, he was on his own, it wouldn't have been difficult for the person to grab him and threaten him to draw the others out but it turned out that he was the one Loyd was after all the time. Chris was also feeling exactly what Loyd wanted him to feel, this also began to make Ezra feel that Chris didn't really care and it was his guilt that was making him stay so close to him now and not because he cared.

"Is there any coffee left?" Ezra changed the subject.

"Ezra, tell me." He pushed him harder.

"No, not now, I need to think about it some more."

"How can we help you if you won't tell us. Chris can't change what he's doing if he doesn't know that he's doing something wrong." Josiah wished that he had brought Chris back in with him. "It's just like last time Ezra, you wouldn't say anything and look what happened." He saw a different kind of hurt fill Ezra's eyes.

"I'm sorry Ezra, I'm not blaming you for what happened, and I’m talking about when you felt lonely because you wouldn't tell them how you felt, you’re doing it all over again but this time you’re not hurting just yourself, your hurting Chris as well."

"What if I tell him and he agrees with me? What he if he tells me that he doesn't care?" Josiah could see the inner child that had always been hurt, he knew that Ezra didn't want to be hurt like that again.

"Trust me Ezra, he does care."

"I'll think about it."

"Ezra."

"I'm tired Josiah."

"Okay Ezra but I'm not going to let this rest." He got up from the bed. "You get some sleep, the rest of the guys will be here soon." He saw his confusion. "It's Saturday, they're going to be here all weekend, remember?"

"No, I forgot. All weekend?" Ezra tried to lower himself into his bed.

"Are you okay with that?" Josiah smiled at him.

"I don't have a choice." Ezra grimaced.

"I'll make sure they don't crowd you Ezra, just give me one of your looks when they get to be too much for you and I'll get rid of them." Josiah assured him.

"I don't think that idea will work Josiah as I'll have that look permanently fixed to my countenance from the moment they enter this room." Ezra smiled when he thought about what they had done to him so far. "Just
don't allow Buck to stay with me if I fall asleep."

******

Josiah stepped out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him, he knew Ezra wasn't tired, he just needed time to think about what they had just spoken about. He could feel Chris's eyes on him as soon as he left the room, he took a deep and turned to face his second hurdle.

"Did you talk to him?" Chris stood under the arch that led into the spotless kitchen.

"He thinks you don't care." Josiah stated bluntly.


"Why the hell would he think that!?" Chris growled at him. He had done everything he could do to prove to Ezra that he did care.

"Let's go into the lounge room, the last thing I want him to hear is your anger!" Josiah pushed him away from the kitchen towards one of the sofa's in the lounge room. "Loyd said something to him, Ezra wouldn't tell me what and I think that whatever it was has gotten into Ezra's mind, it's making him believe that you didn't care and that you still don't."

"But I do care Josiah, I told him that." Chris couldn't believe it, he thought that it was going to be something simple but this wasn't simple.

"I know Chris and deep down so does Ezra but this guy said something, maybe you've done something to reinforce his words without knowing it." Josiah sunk down into the sofa.

"Such as?" Chris couldn't think of anything, he had done nothing over the last two weeks to indicate to Ezra that he didn't care. "I must have done something before we found him."
Josiah lifted his eyes. "Any idea what that was?"

"No, if I knew he wouldn't be feeling like he is now." Chris sighed.

"He also doesn't want you to feel guilty, that's hurting him." Josiah added.

"You don't think that they have something to do with each other do you?" Chris asked him. "The guilt that I'm feeling and the fact that he thinks I don't care."

"Could be, I'll give him some time and try to talk to him again later." Josiah replied.

******

Ezra listened to the voices as they passed his bedroom, they became whispers as they got closer than louder as they moved into the living room. He could hear Buck asking if he was asleep, and Nathan's questions of concern. He wanted to leave his sick bed and go out there to greet them, to answer their questions himself. Maybe later. Ezra was jerked out of his silent musings by a knock on his bedroom door, he didn't answer but the person chose to enter his room anyway. He watched as Nathan popped his head around the corner, he couldn't help but return the smile the ex-medic gave him.

"How are you feeling Ezra?" Nathan asked him as he walked into the room and headed towards the bed.

"I hurt all over, well half of me does." Ezra admitted.

"Josiah's making you some breakfast, you can have something to help you deal with the pain after you eat it." Nathan smiled at the disgust that appeared on his face.

"Nathan can you help me sit up, I'm sick of being in this position." Nathan put his hands under Ezra's arms while the southerner pushed with his left foot. Ezra gritted his teeth against the pain in his leg and side.

"Comfortable?" Nathan asked him while he adjusted the pillow under his plastered leg.

"Yes thanks." Ezra nodded towards the door. "Is everyone out there?"

"Yeah, you want to see them?" Nathan asked him.

"Good lord no!" Ezra said a little too quickly. "I mean . . . ," he could see Nathan's smile, "I know they mean well Nathan and that they're trying to make up for what happened before but they can be a little too much at times."

"I understand Ezra, I won't let them in all at once." Nathan settled into the chair and watched Ezra. "So how are things going with Chris?"

"Fine." Ezra turned his head and looked out of his window.

Nathan heard the change of tone, and saw the change of his facial expression before his poker face fell into place.

"Is he as bad as I was?" Nathan asked him.

"No one can smother with concern as much as you Nathan." He turned back and smiled at the larger man to show him there was no malice behind his words.

"Then what is it?"

"It's nothing Nathan." Ezra lied.

"I don't believe you." Nathan retorted.

"Then believe me when I say that I don't want to talk about it."

"I won't believe that either." Nathan smiled at him. "I know you want to talk about it Ezra, I can see it in your eyes, must be the pain, you can't hide everything like you usually do." Nathan stood up. "I'll go and get Chris and you can tell him what's bothering you."

"Not now Nathan."

"Yes now Ezra, you shouldn't be going through this emotional pain as well as the physical, you need to get it off your chest." Nathan walked away from him.

"I won't talk to him alone." Ezra knew he couldn't do that, what if Chris agreed with him.

"You want me to come back?" Nathan turned around after he opened the door.

"No offense Nathan but I talked to Josiah already, he has an idea of what the problem is." Ezra didn't want to make him angry by saying no.

"That's okay Ezra, whatever is easier for you." Nathan smiled at him and left the room.

"Thanks Nathan." Ezra whispered.

He was grateful that he had finally found people that cared about him and that he could eventually allow them to get close to him, he just needed to sort out how Chris really felt about him. He hadn't wanted to believe what Loyd said but he couldn't get the nagging doubt out of his mind. He looked back at the door when it opened, Chris and Josiah entered and made their way to the bed. Chris sat in the chair and Josiah took a position on the bed next to him.

"Nathan said you wanted to talk to me." Chris shifted in his seat, he needed to know what was bothering Ezra, he just hoped that it wasn't something that he had done to make the southerner feel worse.

"No." Ezra saw the disappointment in Chris's face. "Nathan wanted me to talk to you, you know how persuasive he can be."

"But I want you to want to talk to me Ezra, not because someone is forcing you to." Chris got up out of the chair, he didn't know what he was doing.

"Why are you giving him what he wanted?" Ezra asked Chris before he could leave the room.

"Give who what?" Chris was confused, he turned around to look at Ezra.

"Sit down Chris." Josiah ordered him, he gripped Ezra's hand to give him the support he needed.

"The guilt, why are you giving Loyd the guilt that he wanted?" Ezra could feel Josiah's hand but didn't pull away from him.

"I'm not giving him anything Ezra." Chris didn't know where this was coming from.

"He wanted you to feel guilty for leaving me alone, for not protecting me. And you’re doing what he wanted, you’re feeling guilty for those reasons. Your reacting the way he wanted you to react. Do you have any idea what that's doing to me?" Ezra's voice rose with his anger.

"No I don't Ezra, tell me."

"I told him that he was wrong, that you wouldn't feel guilty, and I thought that because you told me that you cared." He felt Josiah's grip tighten.

"I do care Ezra, I always have."

"Then why do you feel guilty?" But he didn't give him a chance to answer. "Is it because he was right, you feel the guilt that he felt because you don't care."

"That's not true Ezra, I don't feel the same guilt that he felt, and it’s different." Chris began to tell him but Ezra interrupted him.

"But I don't see anything different, I see what he wants every time I look at you. Your feeling his guilt and that's telling me that you don't care."

"I'm feeling guilty for putting you in such a venerable position in the first place, I'm feeling guilty because I made you think that I didn't care when you were hurt in that car accident with Vin, and I gave Loyd what he wanted then not what he wants now. I gave you to him, if I had been more honest about the way I felt he wouldn't have gone after you."

"He said you didn't protect me because you don't care, you allowed me to be on my own." Ezra told him.

"To be honest Ezra, I didn't think that he would go after you. I didn't think that he would use someone he thought I didn't care about to get to the others." Chris looked down at his hands. "It had nothing to do with not caring and everything to do with the way I thought Loyd was thinking."

"Chris, all this guilt your feeling, it makes me think you don't care, I feel like you’re here because of the guilt and not because you care."

"I care Ezra." Chris repeated.

"Then prove it to me! Stop feeling guilty like he wanted you too and start caring!" Ezra growled at him. "I don't want to see his guilt anymore!"

"It's not his guilt, it's mine."

"It may be yours but it's what he wanted. Why won't you understand that!" Ezra was becoming agitated.

"And how am I supposed to get rid of the guilt! It is my fault that he hurt you." Chris retaliated.

"By not blaming yourself!" Ezra yelled at him.

"Ezra calm down." Josiah soothed him.

"No! He won't understand!"

"I do understand Ezra, you think I'm feeling guilty for the same reason he did, I'm sorry." Chris looked up at him. "And your right I can't take all the blame for this, we're all partly responsible."

"No blame what so ever Chris." Ezra told him. "I don't want you to blame yourself or feel guilty."

Chris nodded.

"What the hell were you going to do if I died?" Ezra asked him seriously.

"He's got a point Chris, you told me yourself you wouldn't have coped with Ezra's death." Josiah confirmed what Ezra was saying.

"You wouldn't have coped because of your guilt or because you cared?" Ezra raised his eyebrows at him.

"Both actually." Chris smiled at him.

Ezra smiled in return when he saw that some of the guilt had left Chris's eyes, he didn't expect it to disappear straight away but this was a start.

"You feel better now Ezra?" Josiah asked him.

"Yeah, I do. I'm sorry Chris but I just couldn't get past what he said." Ezra apologised.

"It's not your fault Ezra." Chris told him.

"It's not yours either Chris."

"Okay, that's it, I've had enough!" Josiah spoke to both of them. "You're getting to sloppy for me, I'm leaving."

"You're the one that's sitting on my bed and holding my hand Josiah." Ezra said innocently.

"Yeah well, that was for you Ezra." Josiah stood up and gave a manly cough and straightened his shirt. "I know how emotional you can get."

"Me?"

"Yeah you." Chris agreed with Josiah's statement.

"I hope you know that I have a very calm exterior." Ezra boasted.

"Could have fooled us." Chris laughed.

All three of them turned at the sound of someone knocking on the door, it opened slightly and a white handkerchief was waved around in the air by two fingers.

"It's safe." Chris couldn't hide his smile. "Calm exterior huh?"

"They were obviously listening at the door." Ezra shot back at him.

Buck followed the white material into the room and everyone one else followed when they also knew it was safe.

"Everything okay?" Nathan asked.

"It's fine thanks Nathan." Ezra told him.

"We weren't sure when everything went quite." Buck informed them. "Thought that maybe one of you had killed the other. What was that all about anyway?"

"Guilt Buck and speaking of which, we need to have a little talk about the way you’re feeling." Chris winked at Ezra then began to drag Buck out of the room.

"Why don't you guys keep Ezra company while I go and get his breakfast for him." Josiah suggested.

"Sure thing Josiah." JD sat down in the chair and began to bombard Ezra with questions about how he was feeling.

Josiah moved to the door but looked back at Ezra, he was staring back at him with the look they had agreed on. Josiah just smiled back at him and closed the door, he knew he would pay for that later but now Ezra needed his friends, he needed to be with people who cared about him.


The End





Part One | Part Two | Part 3


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