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azombiewritesTitle: Nightmares
Sixteenth story in 'The Continuing Ezra Standish Saga'
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bad writing ahead!
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Summary: When Ezra mistakenly drinks something meant for JD his normal world is turned into a violent nightmare for both him and the other hired gunmen.
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest of the seven + OC's.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Beta: Not betaed – written in the early days when I didn’t know what the words grammar and edit meant. *is ashamed but no longer care*
Notes: Sixteenth story in the ‘Continuing Ezra Standish Saga’.
Spoilers: None.
Total Word Count: 40,665
WARNING! Please note that this story contains disturbing images.
Part Five
Ezra began to talk in his sleep, he talked about his nightmares and other things that they had never heard him speak of before. They could hear the guilt that was in his voice as he muttered about what he had done over the last few days. There were times when he cried in his sleep and when things got to bad for him Chris rubbed his temple as Nathan had done, he was able to calm him down most of the time but there were times when they could do nothing to ease his torment. He tried to move about but the gentle hands that were on his backstopped him from moving too far.
Buck sat in the corner of the room watching the man he hoped was still a friend. They had returned with the food but it still lay on one of the tables untouched, no one had been hungry. He asked if he could stay and they allowed him to because Ezra was asleep but Buck knew that as soon as he woke he would have to leave again.
Chris hadn't moved from Ezra's side during the six hours that he had managed to sleep through, he had wiped the sweat from the gambler's body as it continued to form in droplets on his back and arms, he gave him the comfort that he needed and helped keep him still when Nathan cleaned and rebandaged his wounds.
Chris watched as Ezra finally became quiet as he settled into an even deeper sleep than the one he had been in. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Nathan.
"Why don't you get some rest Chris, I'll sit with him for a while."
"I'm fine Nathan, really." Chris didn't look fine though. Nathan could tell that he had been crying while he had his back to the others but he didn't blame because he had shed his own tears.
"No. You get some rest while he's quiet, he's going to need you when he wakes up." Nathan pulled him up by his arms and took the damp cloth out of his hand, he pushed him towards one of the empty chairs in the room. Once he made sure that Chris was going to get the rest he needed he sat down on the bed next to Ezra and placed the damp cloth on the back of his neck. He felt Ezra's forehead to find that his temperature had come down but it was still at a dangerous level.
Chris couldn't rest though, he kept his eyes on Ezra while taking an occasional glance at Josiah who was also sleeping. He knew that Josiah was going to be fine so he was able to give Ezra all of his attention. Chris watched Ezra and wondered if his peaceful sleep was the quiet before the storm.
"Nathan?" Ezra forced his heavy eyelids to open, he saw someone in front of him but it took a few minutes before he could focus on who it was. "Nathan!"
"I'm here Ezra, it's okay." He used his thumb to rub Ezra's temple and he calmed back down again. Nathan was amazed that a simple touch could calm him down so easily. He thought that it had something to do with the fact that Ezra had never had anyone care about him like the men in this room did and now that he had finally accepted the concern, the small act of a gentle touch meant a lot to him.
Ezra tried to roll onto his back but Nathan stopped him. "Nathan, my stomach hurts, I have to get off it."
"Are those pains coming back Ezra?" Nathan would have done anything that he could to stop the pains that caused him so much agony but he knew that he couldn't and it tore him apart. He had never felt so useless.
"No. It just hurts lying on it, I need to get off it, please Nathan, I have to get off my stomach." Ezra was starting to get agitated so Nathan helped him roll over onto his side but Ezra wanted to go further. "It's still pressing on my side." He pushed himself onto his back.
"Be careful Ezra, your back remember?" Nathan warned him.
Ezra closed his eyes against the pain that he felt in his back but it was nothing compared to the pain that had gone through his stomach earlier. He waited until the pain in his back eased and then opened his eyes to find Nathan leaning over him.
"You okay now Ezra?" He felt relieved when Ezra nodded that he was better, he even managed a smile that Nathan found hard to return as he knew that it wasn't over for him. He had slept through the night into the next morning but he still had four more days until it was out of his system. He wished that Buck and Vin had gotten more information about what Ezra was going to go through, the waiting and not knowing what was going to happen to him was becoming unbearable. They had sat and waited while he slept worrying themselves sick about what was going to happen next.
"I'll get you some water." Nathan told him as he felt his forehead, his fever had come down dramatically during the night but it was beginning to rise again.
"I'm not thirsty Nathan."
"Could you drink some for me anyway, you lost a lot of fluids last night and I don't want you getting dehydrated."
"Last night?" Ezra was confused.
"Yeah, you slept through the night Ezra, it's nearly lunch time now." Nathan was wiping Ezra's face with his hand.
"Now how about some water."
"I'll try Nathan." Ezra muttered.
"That's all I want you to do Ezra." Nathan patted his shoulder and went to get him some water.
While Nathan wasn't looking Ezra tried to push himself up into a sitting position, his arms began to shake with the effort and he collapsed back onto the pillows. Nathan turned to see Ezra trying to sit up and had to frown at the man's stubbornness. He went quickly back to the bed and helped him as he knew he would only get an argument if he told him not to move, he didn't want to make him angry as he didn't know what would become of that anger. Once Ezra was sitting as comfortable as he could he held the cup as Ezra drank the water.
When he had finished Ezra looked around the room at his friends. "They all asleep?" His eyes turned to Buck and he quickly shifted his gaze back to Nathan.
"They fell asleep about an hour ago. Do you want Buck to leave?" Nathan watched Ezra's eyes take in the occupants in the small room and knew that he would see Buck sitting in the corner, he had been awake all night and even took a turn sitting with Ezra.
"Did you get some sleep Nathan?" He ignored his question about Buck.
"I got a few hours Ezra, it was enough."
"How's Josiah?" Ezra's gaze turned to the larger man in the cot.
"He's doing a lot better, he'll be fine Ezra. He just needs rest." Nathan assured him.
"I don't know what I would have done if I killed him." Ezra spoke quietly. "What about the guy I tried to kill, is he . . . ?"
"No, he's going to alright." Nathan took his hand and squeezed it gently. "There all okay Ezra. I don't want you to feel any guilt about it, none of it is your fault." He used his free hand to wipe the tear from Ezra's face. "It's not your fault Ezra."
Ezra nodded as he leaned back and closed his eyes, he suddenly felt sick, he waited for the nausea to pass but it didn't, it began to get worse. "Nathan, I think I'm going to be sick."
Nathan jumped up off the bed and got the bucket that was now clean and brought it back, he sat on Ezra's left side.
"Cross your legs Ezra." When he had done that Nathan put the bucket on his lap and then took his shoulders and brought him forward so he was leaning over the bucket. "Buck give me a hand will you."
"No." Ezra gasped as he struggled to hold the bile down, he still hated throwing up in front of people. "I don't want . . . him near me."
"Okay Ezra, it's okay." Nathan put a supportive arm around his shoulders and held onto him as he vomited into the bucket. Nathan waved his free hand in Buck's direction and then pointed to the damp cloth in the water bowl. Buck stood up and quietly walked to the dresser and wrung out the cloth and passed it to him, Nathan took the cloth and put it on the back of Ezra's neck. "Get me another one."
When Nathan thought that Ezra had finished he pulled him to his chest and used the second cloth to wipe his mouth but quickly pushed him back when he felt his shoulders lurch beneath his arm and listened as Ezra was violently ill again. He had thought that it was the water but now knew otherwise as the water would not cause him to continue vomiting.
Chris jerked awake at the sound of someone being sick, he saw Nathan sitting on the bed with Ezra leaning over a bucket. He pushed himself out of the chair and went to the bed, he carefully sat down next to Ezra and put his arm around his waist to help support him but Ezra flinched away from him.
"It's alright Ezra, it's Chris." Nathan told him and felt him move back towards Chris.
Ezra threw up a fourth time and then collapsed against Nathan's chest gasping for air, he felt the damp cloth as it wiped his mouth. They gently took his shoulders and leaned him back down but he pushed himself forward as the bile rose in his throat once more. Chris and Nathan could feel Ezra weakening within their grip and they had to hold him up as he continued to be sick.
Chris didn't have time to think about what was happening, he woke to the sounds of Ezra being sick and twenty minutes later, he was still throwing up. He could feel Ezra shudder beneath him as his stomach muscles contracted each time he was sick, the sweat was pouring down his back so he used the cloth that was on his neck to wipe it off so it wouldn't soak into his bandage. He felt Ezra suddenly go limp in his arms as he collapsed against his chest, he looked across at Nathan for an answer to the question that had been on his lips since he woke up but Nathan only stared back at him.
"Help me lay him down Chris." Nathan lifted the bucket and put it on the floor without looking into it. He pulled the blanket back and straightened Ezra's legs, he laid him down with Chris's help and then pulled the blanket back up to his waist. "Buck bring me that bowl of water please and some more cloths." When Buck brought the bowl over, Nathan soaked one of the cloths in the water and used it to wash Ezra's face and chest. Chris also took one of them and began to wipe the damp hair back from Ezra's face.
"Nathan." Buck's voice was a hoarse whisper and it caused both Nathan and Chris to look at him.
"What is it Buck?" Nathan asked him but he had to get up and look at what he was staring at because he didn't answer him.
Nathan turned back to Chris. "There's blood."
"What?" The colour drained from Chris's face.
"There's blood in the bucket Chris." Nathan fell back on the bed and then looked down at Ezra thinking that the movement might cause him to wake up but it hadn't. He lay unmoving, his face becoming a pale grey colour before their eyes and he was now breathing in quick shallow breaths.
"Damn!" All Chris wanted to do at that moment was to pick Ezra up and hold him. He hated not being able to do anything to help him. He stood up and paced the length of the bed as he ran his hands through his hair. "What does it mean Nathan? Why was he vomiting blood?"
"He's stomach must have been bleeding, the pain that he's been suffering from could have caused it, the herbs might be doing it, I don't really know Chris." Nathan shrugged his shoulders, he knew it could have been a number of things but couldn't be specific in what actually caused it. He sat back down on the bed and felt Ezra's forehead, his skin was cool and clammy, but the fever was also still burning within him.
"What are we going to do? How are supposed to help him Nathan? Damn I hate this!" Chris continued to walk up and down the length of the bed.
"What's happened?" Josiah asked from the cot, he had woken to hear Chris letting out his frustrations.
"Ezra was sick Josiah, he was vomiting blood." Nathan explained to him.
"Is he alright?" Josiah struggled to get himself out of the cot, Chris grabbed him before he fell back down and helped him to Ezra's bedside. Josiah looked down into the pale sweating face of his friend and saw the answer to his question, Ezra wasn't alright. He sat down on the bed and placed Ezra's hand into his own.
Nathan was going to tell Josiah to go back to the cot but when he saw the distress on his face, he found that he didn't have the heart to do it. He saw how gently he had taken Ezra's hand and then began to rub the palm with his thumb in the same way he would rub his temple. Nathan looked away and saw Buck standing over him.
"How are you holding up Buck?" Nathan asked him.
"How am I going to get him to forgive me Nathan, he's a good friend, I don't want to lose him." Buck choked back the tears but he wasn't successful, he burst into tears and Nathan quickly stood up and took him in his arms.
"He will Buck, I know he will." Nathan told him as he comforted him.
"How do you . . . know Nathan?" Buck didn't believe that Ezra would forgive him.
"Because it was a long hard struggle for him to accept your friendship and ours, he won't throw it away Buck, not now, he knows you wouldn't do anything to hurt him, he just needs time that's all."
"Nathan's right Buck," Chris added to the conversation, "he won't put all those efforts to waste, he values the friends that he's made here. He wouldn't be able to push any of us away anymore, even if he tried."
"I just hope your right." Buck pushed himself away from Nathan and dried his eyes. "I don't want to lose his friendship." Buck made his way back to the corner that he had been sitting in and made himself comfortable. "At least he didn't tell me to leave."
"Nathan." Ezra groaned from the bed as he struggled to get up. "I'm going to be sick again."
Nathan quickly pulled Ezra over onto his side with one hand and moved the bucket underneath him just in time. He could feel the violent convulsions of his stomach as he kept his hand on his back. When he felt Ezra relax he gently rolled him onto his back, he used a cloth to wipe the thin trail of blood from his chin.
"Ezra?" Nathan wiped Ezra's forehead with his hand. "Ezra?"
"What?" Ezra moved his head towards Nathan's voice but didn't open his eyes.
"Is your stomach still sore." He felt him nod slightly under his hand. "You still feel sick?" He shook his head indicating that he didn't. "I want you to get some sleep then. Okay?" The nod was only slight but Nathan still felt it.
Ezra couldn't sleep though as he could feel the pain in his stomach becoming steadily worse, it wasn't the shooting pains of agony that he had felt before but a constant sharp pain that had settled in his stomach. He couldn't stop the involuntary groans from escaping and each time they did someone was there for him, stroking his face, rubbing his temple and talking to him. He even heard Buck's voice but he didn't have the strength to tell him to go away. He knew that he couldn't blame Buck but he was angry at his situation and he needed to take that anger out on someone, he just wished he had the strength to show the anger that he felt towards him.
Josiah and Chris sat on either side of Ezra, they knew that he wasn't sleeping. He slack features often turned into grimaces of pain as he moaned and tossed his head. Josiah could feel his own weakness getting the better of him but he wouldn't leave Ezra's side. He kept Ezra's hand in his but felt that it was all he could do, whenever he tried to lean over the gambler and stroke his face he felt dizzy and had to pull back so he had to settle for watching Chris and the others as they comforted Ezra.
"He still awake?" Nathan asked as he came up behind Chris.
"Yeah, the pain must be stopping him from sleeping." Chris looked up at him and then stood up when Nathan indicated that he wanted to check on Ezra.
Nathan sat down and looked across at Josiah, he could see that he was struggling to keep awake. "Josiah you should get some sleep, you’re not doing Ezra any good. You know we'll wake you if his condition changes."
"Just a bit longer Nathan, then I'll get some sleep." Josiah didn't take his eyes off Ezra as another grimace crossed his face. Josiah suddenly thought about Ezra's father, he didn't know why but he did, he wondered what he was like, if he was still alive and if so why he had never had any sort of contact with his son. He watched as Ezra's face became slack again and asked himself if Ezra had gotten his handsome features and green eyes from his father, there was a resemblance to Maude but it wasn't strong. But it was something that he would never find out, Ezra had never spoken about his mother even after the day she had shown up in Four Corners much to Ezra's and everyone else's surprise.
They only found out what sort of mother she was because of the things that had happened to Ezra and he didn't give any information voluntarily, it was forced from him. He knew Ezra wouldn't speak of his father even though he had become closer to the other men who were more like a family to him now, he wasn't even sure if Ezra knew anything about his father. He was brought out of his thoughts by Nathan's voice.
Nathan sat on Ezra's left side and placed his hand on the bed on Ezra's right side so he could lean over him, he placed his right hand on Ezra's warm face and began to speak to him.
"Ezra? Can you hear me Ezra?" His voice was strong and loud so he could break through Ezra's pain filled mind.
"Ezra, you with me? Come-on Ezra, talk to me." He watched as Ezra turned his head towards him and felt him nod.
"Good, you don't have to talk, just nod okay." He felt his head nod weakly. "Is the pain bad?" The nod indicated yes. "Do you feel sick at all?" No. "I want to check your stomach and then your back. Okay?" Ezra shook his head and his eyes flew open. "It's okay Ezra, it'll only take me a moment."
"No, please." Ezra groaned weakly.
Nathan pulled the blanket down to Ezra's waist and gently pressed against the flesh, he wasn't prepared for Ezra's reaction. He screamed as he rolled onto his side and pulled his knees up to his chest, Nathan quickly removed his hands and checked Ezra's back while he had the opportunity. It was clear of any infection.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I won't do that again." Nathan assured him as he carefully tried to roll him back but Ezra wouldn't move so he left him on his right side facing Josiah, he pulled the blanket back up over Ezra and began to rub his upper back hoping that it would help him to relax and calm down.
Ezra took a stronger hold of the hand that held his as he waited for the pain that had erupted with Nathan's touch to ease but it didn't, it was getting worse like it had done before. "Nathan," he gasped through the pain, "it's coming back!"
Ezra didn't even have time to scream as the first agonising pain tore through him, it was so strong that he lost consciousness but the blackness didn't stop his body from reacting to the pain. Josiah didn't have the strength lift Ezra up into his arms like he wanted to. He felt someone's strong hands push him from the bed and he watched as Chris sat down and took Ezra from Nathan's arms and hold him to his chest, he sat down on the cot, never taking his eyes from Ezra's face as his head was now settled on Chris's shoulders. He saw his body jerk as the pain hit him but after a few minutes he stopped, his body relaxed in Chris's arms. The agonising pain had only lasted a few minutes, he hoped that was a good sign.
Chris felt Ezra relax in his arms and he looked over at Nathan. "It's stopped already?"
Nathan leaned forward and manoeuvred his arm between Chris and Ezra, he looked closely at Ezra's face as he pressed against his stomach, there was no reaction. He checked his pupils to make sure that he was okay and found that he was still unconscious. Nathan smiled up at Chris.
"The pain is finally gone." He took Ezra from Chris's arms and laid him back down, making him comfortable again.
"But for how long?" Chris asked him.
***
Ezra remained unconscious as the next two days passed by agonisingly slow for everyone. He hadn't made any sort of movement or sound during the two days and it had caused them to worry even more. His breathing was shallow and regular but his pulse was weak, his fever stayed high causing his skin to have a reddish tinge that stood out against the paleness of his flesh. They had only left the room when they had to, they forced each other to eat because if they left it to themselves no one would have touched any of the food that had been brought to them. Two of them stayed on the bed with Ezra at all times while the others either slept or watched him from a distance.
Vin sat on the bed with JD as they watched Ezra, he had finally convinced Chris and Nathan to get some sleep. His own hand lay on Ezra's chest so he could feel the slight rise of his chest as he breathed, it was the only way he was able to tell that he still lived. He felt his chest shift beneath him and heard the quick intake of breath as Ezra started to come out of his unconscious state. Ezra's eyes fluttered open and looked at the two men who sat with him without seeing them.
"Ezra?" Vin moved his hand up to his face and turned it towards him. "Ezra. It's Vin." He watched as the green orbs disappeared behind closed eyelids only to then reappear still showing the confusion that Ezra obviously felt. "Ezra?" Vin smiled as the eyes finally focused on him.
"Vin?" Ezra's voice was husky due to the dryness of his throat.
"Yeah it's me Ezra." He watched as Ezra's eyelids slowly closed again. "JD can you get some water please."
"Please." Ezra confirmed as he tried to shift his position. "Oh god!"
"What is it Ezra?" Vin was instantly concerned as he thought that the pain that Ezra had to endure was back.
"I hurt all over, my stomach and back are killing me as is the rest of me." Ezra groaned. He opened his eyes and looked into Vin's worried eyes. "Muscles, my stomach muscles hurt." He started to cough as the dryness of his throat took offense at its use and he gripped his stomach as the muscles contracted. JD returned with the water and when his coughing eased, they helped him drink it, making sure that he drank it slowly.
Ezra managed to roll over onto his right side as he hoped that it would allow the pain that he was feeling in his back to ease, he looked across the room at Josiah who was sleeping on the cot, he frowned and Vin caught the expression.
"Just sleeping Ezra, like everyone else." He nodded around the room to indicate the others.
"How long was I out for this time?" He closed his eyes as he tried to ignore Buck's presence in the corner of the room.
"Just over two days." JD answered him and then sat back as Ezra's eyes flew open as he turned his head towards him.
"Two days?" He groaned more at the pain he felt when he moved his head to quickly and shifted it into a more comfortable position on the pillow and closed his eyes to shut out the light. He couldn't understand why he hurt so much, he didn't do anything to deserve any of this.
"It's nearly over Ezra." Vin looked down. "I'm sorry Ezra, it was my fault too, I told JD to bet that glass of milk."
"Did you know what was in it?" Ezra asked him calmly.
"No."
"Then don't waste my time with your self-pity Vin, I don't want to hear it from either of you. That means you too JD." He wished that it didn't hurt so much.
"You okay Ezra?" He realised Ezra was angry but he wasn't sure if it was part of the sickness or from what was happening to him.
"Don't you think that's a stupid question Vin." Ezra groaned as he shifted his position again.
"JD go wake Nathan." Vin kept his eyes on Ezra and prepared himself for the violent explosion that he expected to erupt from him.
"You do that JD and while you’re at it can you get me some more water please."
It took JD a few minutes to wake Nathan but once he shrugged off the sleep that clouded his mind he rushed to the bed. He sat down next to Ezra and placed his hand on his forehead, his fever was still high, he frowned when Ezra weakly grabbed his hand and pushed it away, the weight of it made his head hurt more.
"He's in a bad mood Nathan." Vin explained as he took the cup of water from JD. "And he says that he hurts everywhere."
"Tell me how your feeling Ezra." Nathan ordered him.
"I believe Vin just told you Nathan." Ezra growled at him, he moved his head as he tried to find another position but it didn't matter how it was placed on the pillow it still hurt too much.
"Don't start Ezra." Chris warned him as he came towards the bed. All the noise had caused him to wake and he heard the tone in Ezra's words and knew that trouble was brewing. He was as glad as everyone else that Ezra was awake but he also worried that there was now something else wrong with him.
"And what can I start in this condition?" Ezra asked him, the sarcasm was heavy in his voice. "Vin are you going to hold onto that water all day or can I have it."
Chris removed the cup from Vin's hands and took his place on the bed, he then helped Ezra into a better position so he could drink the water. "Would you please answer Nathan's question Ezra."
"I hurt everywhere, like I have a bad case of flu, everything hurts, especially my head." Ezra explained finally as he gave up looking for an area of his head and body that didn't hurt, it didn't seem to matter how he lay, the pain didn't ease.
"Could you roll back over for me Ezra?" Nathan heard him groan at the thought. "It'll only be a for a couple of minutes." When he was on his back Nathan used his fingers to feel under Ezra's neck and then placed his ear against his chest to listen to his breathing, he heard Ezra's quick intake of breath when he put the weight of his head on his chest. "Okay you can go back onto your side if you want to."
Ezra instead rolled onto his left side to see if the pain would be any better it wasn't. "Aw hell."
"Ezra?" Nathan got off the bed and knelt down in front of him, he put his hand on his cheek but Ezra tried to push it away.
"Don't Nathan, it hurts." Ezra groaned.
"Are you saying it hurts when I touch you?" Ezra nodded but winced when his head hurt even more. "How bad is it Ezra."
"It's bad enough Nathan. Can I have some more water please and then I really must go and relieve myself."
"You're not going anywhere Ezra." Nathan told him.
"You don't expect me to use a bucket do you?" Ezra grimaced at the thought.
"That's exactly what you’re going to do." Nathan smiled at him.
"Buck really has a lot to pay for and he's going to pay with blood." Ezra growled and the smile dropped off Nathan's face as he looked over Ezra's shoulder at Chris.
"He didn't know what was going to happen Ezra." Chris explained to him as he put his hand on his shoulder but quickly removed it when Ezra shuddered under the touch.
"Would you find it easier to blame him if it was JD going through this and not me?" Ezra asked him.
"You know I wouldn't Ezra, the potion is only having this effect on you because of the alcohol you drank with the milk." Chris turned to look at Buck and found that he was awake and listening to the conversation.
"So it's my fault then, that's what your saying is it?" They could hear the insecurities that Ezra's voice held. "You want me to take the blame so your friend Buck doesn't have to."
Chris made his way around the bed so he too could look into Ezra's face. "Ezra look at me while I tell you this." He waited patiently for a few minutes before Ezra opened his eyes and focused on his face. "I care as much about you as I do Buck. Yes, he and I have been friends longer but like him your family now and I'm not trying to put the blame on anyone. It wasn't really anyone's fault Ezra, it was something that just happened. Buck feels bad about what he did and he's worried that he's going to lose your friendship."
"I don't blame him Chris, I'm just angry at him." Ezra muttered as his eyelids slid closed.
"You have every right to be angry Ezra." Chris told him as he watched the gambler drift off to sleep.
***
Ezra's sleep was constantly interrupted as the pain continued to wake him, he would change his sleeping position and then fall back to sleep only to wake again a short time later. They couldn't hold his hand or stroke his face to calm him down as it seemed to make the pain even worse. They could only sit by and watch him, this made them feel even more helpless because they couldn't do anything to help him. This went on for another six hours and then he finally settled into a more peaceful sleep. When this happened, Nathan carefully put his hand on Ezra's shoulder to find that it didn't agitate him and then his forehead to discover that his fever had come down. Ezra then slept late into the night without any further disturbances.
"Nathan how much longer do you think it will take?" Chris asked him as he brushed the hair from Ezra's forehead.
"Tomorrow is the fifth day so it should hopefully be leaving his system already." Nathan answered him. He was on the bed leaning back against the head board with his eyes closed and was stroking the back of Ezra's head, their touch of concern was becoming like second nature to them, it now seemed so natural to show Ezra their concern.
"You don't think that anything else is going to happen do you?" He moved from the bed and sat in the chair that faced Ezra. Josiah had been sitting in it but he had fallen asleep so they woke him up and moved him back to the cot.
"I hope not Chris." Nathan could feel himself drifting off to sleep so he forced his eyes back open, he wanted to be awake when Ezra woke up.
Ezra could feel someone rubbing the back of his head and neck and allowed himself to relax. The touch that he had once feared and rejected became a source of comfort for him and he wasn't going to push it away, he kept his eyes closed because he knew that if he opened them the person would stop and he didn't want them to. He realised that the pain he had been feeling was now just a steady ache except for his stomach that was still sore. Ezra could feel another ache and he couldn't refuse it any longer. He opened his eyes and focused on Chris.
"Hey Ezra, how are you feeling." Chris smiled at him and couldn't hide the relief when Ezra smiled back.
"I feel a strong need to relieve myself."
"We'll give you some help Ezra." Nathan told him as he got up off the bed.
"I would rather you helped me into the back room and then allow me some privacy, I would like to keep my dignity in tack thank you very much."
"Only if you can manage it Ezra." Nathan pulled the bedcover back and with Chris's help, Ezra was able to sit up, he then had to wait a few minutes for the dizziness to pass before he attempted to try to stand. With Nathan and Chris, each holding an arm they led Ezra into the back room and left him alone.
They waited five minutes and heard a muttered curse followed by a loud crashing noise and they rushed into the room to find Ezra sitting on the floor with his arms wrapped around himself, he smiled up at them.
"Sorry but my legs could no longer hold me up."
"You finished now Ezra." Nathan shook his head at him.
"Yes thank you, feeling much better, now if only I could sleep for a month, preferably in my own room of course." Ezra muttered as his eyelids grew heavy.
Chris knelt down and lifted Ezra into his arms, he heard no protests come from the gambler because he was asleep as soon as his head fell against Chris's shoulder. He took him back to the bed and laid him down before Nathan carefully placed the blanket back over him.
"Sounds like he's feeling a lot better." Nathan voiced his relief as he sat back down on the bed.
"Just like his old self and that's what worries me." Chris removed Nathan's relief with one simple statement. "I mean he couldn't just go from one extreme to the other could he?"
"He might, it was the potion and alcohol that did it and once it's out of his system he should be more or less back to his normal self. His stomach should be sore for a few days but apart from that he should be fine." Nathan settled down against the bed head once more while Chris sat back in the chair.
***
Ezra became aware of the sun shining through the window into his eyes, he wanted to blink against the harsh sunlight and roll over onto his other side but he couldn't gather the strength that he would require to do such as task, he groaned as the pain spread through his stomach as he took in a deep breath. He felt terrible, his muscles ached all over, his head hurt and he felt like he couldn't even lift his little finger no matter how hard he tried. 'Life is hell.' he thought to himself. He felt someone's warm hand as it was placed against the side of his face.
"Ezra?" Josiah leaned over him and waited, he heard him groan and knew that he was waking up. "Ezra!" He called more loudly. "Come on Ezra, you've been asleep long enough, you need to get some fluids into you." Josiah took his hand off his face and gently shook his shoulder. "Ezra wake up!" He watched as Ezra struggled to open his eyes.
"That's the way Ezra, you can do it."
"What time is it?" Ezra muttered.
"It's about seven in the morning Ezra." Josiah answered him, he was glad to finally hear his voice.
"Then I'm not waking up, it's too early."
"I want you to drink some water Ezra and then you can go back to sleep okay." He shook his shoulder more roughly.
"Wake up Ezra!"
"Alright, just give me a minute." Ezra groaned in protest.
"If I do that Ezra, you'll go back to sleep." Josiah smiled down at him.
"That was the idea Josiah." Ezra forced his eyes open and looked up at his friend. "Glad to see your okay Josiah."
"I'll only be okay if I know that you don't blame yourself for what happened Ezra." He put his hand under Ezra's head and lifted him up so he could drink the water, when he was done he gently laid his head back down.
"Who else am supposed to blame Josiah?"
"No one is to blame Ezra."
"You said I've been asleep long enough, how long is that?" Ezra changed the subject and heard Josiah's loud sigh when he did.
"Three days Ezra. Three very long days." He refilled the empty cup. "Here, I want you to drink some more water."
"Three days, I wanted to sleep for a month." He drank the second cup of water.
"Think you’re up to eating something?" Josiah asked him.
"Josiah, I'm not even up to being awake." He closed his eyes as the sleep took him back into its embrace.
***
Ezra heard the voice and felt the hand as it stroked his forehead, trying to wake him up a second time, he groaned in protest as he had only just gotten back to sleep after Josiah had disturbed him. Didn't they realise that a man needed his sleep, he was going to have something to say about it when he got enough strength together to raise his voice at them. The voice continued and he knew they weren't going to leave him alone so he opened his heavy eyes and looked into Chris's blue ones.
"I should have known." Ezra muttered as he closed his eyes again.
"No you don't Ezra, open them up again, I want to see those pretty green eyes of yours." Chris had spent the last ten minutes trying to wake him up, no one else had been able to succeed in their attempts to wake Ezra.
"Chris you are really starting to worry me with that type of talk." Ezra opened his eyes anyway. "Why are you waking me when I only just got back to sleep?"
"That was yesterday Ezra." Nathan told him as he came closer to the bed, he had a cooling bowl of broth in his hands.
"I want you to eat something."
"I'm not hungry Nathan." Ezra closed his eyes but someone gently slapped his face and his eyes flew open again.
"I don't care Ezra, you’re eating something whether you like it or not." Nathan growled at him and removed his hand from Ezra's face. "The potion is out of your system now but your still very weak, you need to eat and sleep so you can build your strength back up."
"I assumed that I was getting better." Ezra looked up at Nathan and smiled. "You're no longer being nice to me."
Ezra allowed Chris and Nathan to help him sit up, he couldn't even hold the spoon in his hand so Nathan had to feed him and while he did this Chris talked to Ezra.
"Buck wants to see you." Chris informed him.
"I don't want to see him." Ezra told him between mouthfuls, he just wanted to go back to sleep.
"I thought we went through this before Ezra."
Ezra turned his face away from the spoon in Nathan's hand and looked into Chris's eyes. "I know, I told you I don't blame him but I'm still angry. You know my mouth, I might say something that I won't be able to take back, I'd rather talk to him when I calm down." He turned back to Nathan. "I can't eat anymore Nathan, it's starting to make me feel sick."
"Okay, now drink some water and then you can go back to sleep." When Ezra finished the water, they helped him settle back down and watched as he took on the steady rhythm of sleep once more.
***
Over the next few days they continued to wake Ezra on a regular basis so they could get him to eat and drink and each time they did this he thought that it had only been a few minutes since he had fallen back to sleep. His body continued to recover but it was going to be a slow process because the potion had taken a lot out of him, he had also lost a lot of blood due to the gunshot wound in his back.
Because they had to wake him, they allowed Buck to stay with him as often as he wanted and he only left the room when they brought food for Ezra to eat and then went back in after they had left. Chris had told him that Ezra didn't blame him for what happened but he was to angry to talk to him about it.
It was on one of these occasions that Ezra had woken on his own to find Buck sitting in the chair across from him. Buck got up to leave but Ezra's voice stopped him.
"You don't have to go Buck, it's okay." Ezra told him.
"I'm sorry Ezra, if I had known I wouldn't have done it, I mean I've never seen you drink milk before, I didn't think you or Vin would have touched it, I didn't know what was going to happen, didn't know what you were going to go through."
"Buck." Ezra waited a moment for his rambling to stop. "Buck!" He finally stopped but he wouldn't look at Ezra. "I don't blame you Buck and I'm not angry anymore but that doesn't mean you’re not going to pay for what you did." Buck
looked up at Ezra, he wasn't sure what he was going to do. "I just have to think of something first." He allowed a small smile to creep across his face but Buck looked away from him. "Could you come and help me sit up please." Buck put his hat down on the cot and moved to the bed carefully, he helped Ezra up into a sitting position. "Now come here." Ezra didn't have any trouble hugging Buck, he found it easy to do. "I don't blame you Buck, it's okay." He listened as Buck began to cry.
"I'm sorry Ezra."
"It's alright Buck, don't worry about it." Ezra held onto him as tightly as his strength would allow him to, grateful that he was able to show Buck that he cared and didn't blame him. It was the first time he was really able to show this type of affection to anyone without cringing inside at the thought.
Buck's tears only stopped when he felt someone's hand on his shoulder, he looked up at Chris standing over them.
"He's asleep Buck, I think you've hugged him long enough, maybe you should lie him back down." Chris couldn't keep the smile off his face as he took Ezra out of Buck's arms and laid him back onto the bed.
"Wasn't me Chris, it was Ezra." He smiled as he wiped his tears away. "He made the first move."
"Why don't you go and get some rest Buck, I'll sit with him for a while." Chris suggested.
"In a minute Chris." Buck leaned forward and brushed the hair away from Ezra's face, he then lightly kissed his forehead before he got up and left the room.
The End
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five
Master Fan Fiction List
Sixteenth story in 'The Continuing Ezra Standish Saga'
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bad writing ahead!
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Summary: When Ezra mistakenly drinks something meant for JD his normal world is turned into a violent nightmare for both him and the other hired gunmen.
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest of the seven + OC's.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Beta: Not betaed – written in the early days when I didn’t know what the words grammar and edit meant. *is ashamed but no longer care*
Notes: Sixteenth story in the ‘Continuing Ezra Standish Saga’.
Spoilers: None.
Total Word Count: 40,665
WARNING! Please note that this story contains disturbing images.
Part Five
Ezra began to talk in his sleep, he talked about his nightmares and other things that they had never heard him speak of before. They could hear the guilt that was in his voice as he muttered about what he had done over the last few days. There were times when he cried in his sleep and when things got to bad for him Chris rubbed his temple as Nathan had done, he was able to calm him down most of the time but there were times when they could do nothing to ease his torment. He tried to move about but the gentle hands that were on his backstopped him from moving too far.
Buck sat in the corner of the room watching the man he hoped was still a friend. They had returned with the food but it still lay on one of the tables untouched, no one had been hungry. He asked if he could stay and they allowed him to because Ezra was asleep but Buck knew that as soon as he woke he would have to leave again.
Chris hadn't moved from Ezra's side during the six hours that he had managed to sleep through, he had wiped the sweat from the gambler's body as it continued to form in droplets on his back and arms, he gave him the comfort that he needed and helped keep him still when Nathan cleaned and rebandaged his wounds.
Chris watched as Ezra finally became quiet as he settled into an even deeper sleep than the one he had been in. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Nathan.
"Why don't you get some rest Chris, I'll sit with him for a while."
"I'm fine Nathan, really." Chris didn't look fine though. Nathan could tell that he had been crying while he had his back to the others but he didn't blame because he had shed his own tears.
"No. You get some rest while he's quiet, he's going to need you when he wakes up." Nathan pulled him up by his arms and took the damp cloth out of his hand, he pushed him towards one of the empty chairs in the room. Once he made sure that Chris was going to get the rest he needed he sat down on the bed next to Ezra and placed the damp cloth on the back of his neck. He felt Ezra's forehead to find that his temperature had come down but it was still at a dangerous level.
Chris couldn't rest though, he kept his eyes on Ezra while taking an occasional glance at Josiah who was also sleeping. He knew that Josiah was going to be fine so he was able to give Ezra all of his attention. Chris watched Ezra and wondered if his peaceful sleep was the quiet before the storm.
"Nathan?" Ezra forced his heavy eyelids to open, he saw someone in front of him but it took a few minutes before he could focus on who it was. "Nathan!"
"I'm here Ezra, it's okay." He used his thumb to rub Ezra's temple and he calmed back down again. Nathan was amazed that a simple touch could calm him down so easily. He thought that it had something to do with the fact that Ezra had never had anyone care about him like the men in this room did and now that he had finally accepted the concern, the small act of a gentle touch meant a lot to him.
Ezra tried to roll onto his back but Nathan stopped him. "Nathan, my stomach hurts, I have to get off it."
"Are those pains coming back Ezra?" Nathan would have done anything that he could to stop the pains that caused him so much agony but he knew that he couldn't and it tore him apart. He had never felt so useless.
"No. It just hurts lying on it, I need to get off it, please Nathan, I have to get off my stomach." Ezra was starting to get agitated so Nathan helped him roll over onto his side but Ezra wanted to go further. "It's still pressing on my side." He pushed himself onto his back.
"Be careful Ezra, your back remember?" Nathan warned him.
Ezra closed his eyes against the pain that he felt in his back but it was nothing compared to the pain that had gone through his stomach earlier. He waited until the pain in his back eased and then opened his eyes to find Nathan leaning over him.
"You okay now Ezra?" He felt relieved when Ezra nodded that he was better, he even managed a smile that Nathan found hard to return as he knew that it wasn't over for him. He had slept through the night into the next morning but he still had four more days until it was out of his system. He wished that Buck and Vin had gotten more information about what Ezra was going to go through, the waiting and not knowing what was going to happen to him was becoming unbearable. They had sat and waited while he slept worrying themselves sick about what was going to happen next.
"I'll get you some water." Nathan told him as he felt his forehead, his fever had come down dramatically during the night but it was beginning to rise again.
"I'm not thirsty Nathan."
"Could you drink some for me anyway, you lost a lot of fluids last night and I don't want you getting dehydrated."
"Last night?" Ezra was confused.
"Yeah, you slept through the night Ezra, it's nearly lunch time now." Nathan was wiping Ezra's face with his hand.
"Now how about some water."
"I'll try Nathan." Ezra muttered.
"That's all I want you to do Ezra." Nathan patted his shoulder and went to get him some water.
While Nathan wasn't looking Ezra tried to push himself up into a sitting position, his arms began to shake with the effort and he collapsed back onto the pillows. Nathan turned to see Ezra trying to sit up and had to frown at the man's stubbornness. He went quickly back to the bed and helped him as he knew he would only get an argument if he told him not to move, he didn't want to make him angry as he didn't know what would become of that anger. Once Ezra was sitting as comfortable as he could he held the cup as Ezra drank the water.
When he had finished Ezra looked around the room at his friends. "They all asleep?" His eyes turned to Buck and he quickly shifted his gaze back to Nathan.
"They fell asleep about an hour ago. Do you want Buck to leave?" Nathan watched Ezra's eyes take in the occupants in the small room and knew that he would see Buck sitting in the corner, he had been awake all night and even took a turn sitting with Ezra.
"Did you get some sleep Nathan?" He ignored his question about Buck.
"I got a few hours Ezra, it was enough."
"How's Josiah?" Ezra's gaze turned to the larger man in the cot.
"He's doing a lot better, he'll be fine Ezra. He just needs rest." Nathan assured him.
"I don't know what I would have done if I killed him." Ezra spoke quietly. "What about the guy I tried to kill, is he . . . ?"
"No, he's going to alright." Nathan took his hand and squeezed it gently. "There all okay Ezra. I don't want you to feel any guilt about it, none of it is your fault." He used his free hand to wipe the tear from Ezra's face. "It's not your fault Ezra."
Ezra nodded as he leaned back and closed his eyes, he suddenly felt sick, he waited for the nausea to pass but it didn't, it began to get worse. "Nathan, I think I'm going to be sick."
Nathan jumped up off the bed and got the bucket that was now clean and brought it back, he sat on Ezra's left side.
"Cross your legs Ezra." When he had done that Nathan put the bucket on his lap and then took his shoulders and brought him forward so he was leaning over the bucket. "Buck give me a hand will you."
"No." Ezra gasped as he struggled to hold the bile down, he still hated throwing up in front of people. "I don't want . . . him near me."
"Okay Ezra, it's okay." Nathan put a supportive arm around his shoulders and held onto him as he vomited into the bucket. Nathan waved his free hand in Buck's direction and then pointed to the damp cloth in the water bowl. Buck stood up and quietly walked to the dresser and wrung out the cloth and passed it to him, Nathan took the cloth and put it on the back of Ezra's neck. "Get me another one."
When Nathan thought that Ezra had finished he pulled him to his chest and used the second cloth to wipe his mouth but quickly pushed him back when he felt his shoulders lurch beneath his arm and listened as Ezra was violently ill again. He had thought that it was the water but now knew otherwise as the water would not cause him to continue vomiting.
Chris jerked awake at the sound of someone being sick, he saw Nathan sitting on the bed with Ezra leaning over a bucket. He pushed himself out of the chair and went to the bed, he carefully sat down next to Ezra and put his arm around his waist to help support him but Ezra flinched away from him.
"It's alright Ezra, it's Chris." Nathan told him and felt him move back towards Chris.
Ezra threw up a fourth time and then collapsed against Nathan's chest gasping for air, he felt the damp cloth as it wiped his mouth. They gently took his shoulders and leaned him back down but he pushed himself forward as the bile rose in his throat once more. Chris and Nathan could feel Ezra weakening within their grip and they had to hold him up as he continued to be sick.
Chris didn't have time to think about what was happening, he woke to the sounds of Ezra being sick and twenty minutes later, he was still throwing up. He could feel Ezra shudder beneath him as his stomach muscles contracted each time he was sick, the sweat was pouring down his back so he used the cloth that was on his neck to wipe it off so it wouldn't soak into his bandage. He felt Ezra suddenly go limp in his arms as he collapsed against his chest, he looked across at Nathan for an answer to the question that had been on his lips since he woke up but Nathan only stared back at him.
"Help me lay him down Chris." Nathan lifted the bucket and put it on the floor without looking into it. He pulled the blanket back and straightened Ezra's legs, he laid him down with Chris's help and then pulled the blanket back up to his waist. "Buck bring me that bowl of water please and some more cloths." When Buck brought the bowl over, Nathan soaked one of the cloths in the water and used it to wash Ezra's face and chest. Chris also took one of them and began to wipe the damp hair back from Ezra's face.
"Nathan." Buck's voice was a hoarse whisper and it caused both Nathan and Chris to look at him.
"What is it Buck?" Nathan asked him but he had to get up and look at what he was staring at because he didn't answer him.
Nathan turned back to Chris. "There's blood."
"What?" The colour drained from Chris's face.
"There's blood in the bucket Chris." Nathan fell back on the bed and then looked down at Ezra thinking that the movement might cause him to wake up but it hadn't. He lay unmoving, his face becoming a pale grey colour before their eyes and he was now breathing in quick shallow breaths.
"Damn!" All Chris wanted to do at that moment was to pick Ezra up and hold him. He hated not being able to do anything to help him. He stood up and paced the length of the bed as he ran his hands through his hair. "What does it mean Nathan? Why was he vomiting blood?"
"He's stomach must have been bleeding, the pain that he's been suffering from could have caused it, the herbs might be doing it, I don't really know Chris." Nathan shrugged his shoulders, he knew it could have been a number of things but couldn't be specific in what actually caused it. He sat back down on the bed and felt Ezra's forehead, his skin was cool and clammy, but the fever was also still burning within him.
"What are we going to do? How are supposed to help him Nathan? Damn I hate this!" Chris continued to walk up and down the length of the bed.
"What's happened?" Josiah asked from the cot, he had woken to hear Chris letting out his frustrations.
"Ezra was sick Josiah, he was vomiting blood." Nathan explained to him.
"Is he alright?" Josiah struggled to get himself out of the cot, Chris grabbed him before he fell back down and helped him to Ezra's bedside. Josiah looked down into the pale sweating face of his friend and saw the answer to his question, Ezra wasn't alright. He sat down on the bed and placed Ezra's hand into his own.
Nathan was going to tell Josiah to go back to the cot but when he saw the distress on his face, he found that he didn't have the heart to do it. He saw how gently he had taken Ezra's hand and then began to rub the palm with his thumb in the same way he would rub his temple. Nathan looked away and saw Buck standing over him.
"How are you holding up Buck?" Nathan asked him.
"How am I going to get him to forgive me Nathan, he's a good friend, I don't want to lose him." Buck choked back the tears but he wasn't successful, he burst into tears and Nathan quickly stood up and took him in his arms.
"He will Buck, I know he will." Nathan told him as he comforted him.
"How do you . . . know Nathan?" Buck didn't believe that Ezra would forgive him.
"Because it was a long hard struggle for him to accept your friendship and ours, he won't throw it away Buck, not now, he knows you wouldn't do anything to hurt him, he just needs time that's all."
"Nathan's right Buck," Chris added to the conversation, "he won't put all those efforts to waste, he values the friends that he's made here. He wouldn't be able to push any of us away anymore, even if he tried."
"I just hope your right." Buck pushed himself away from Nathan and dried his eyes. "I don't want to lose his friendship." Buck made his way back to the corner that he had been sitting in and made himself comfortable. "At least he didn't tell me to leave."
"Nathan." Ezra groaned from the bed as he struggled to get up. "I'm going to be sick again."
Nathan quickly pulled Ezra over onto his side with one hand and moved the bucket underneath him just in time. He could feel the violent convulsions of his stomach as he kept his hand on his back. When he felt Ezra relax he gently rolled him onto his back, he used a cloth to wipe the thin trail of blood from his chin.
"Ezra?" Nathan wiped Ezra's forehead with his hand. "Ezra?"
"What?" Ezra moved his head towards Nathan's voice but didn't open his eyes.
"Is your stomach still sore." He felt him nod slightly under his hand. "You still feel sick?" He shook his head indicating that he didn't. "I want you to get some sleep then. Okay?" The nod was only slight but Nathan still felt it.
Ezra couldn't sleep though as he could feel the pain in his stomach becoming steadily worse, it wasn't the shooting pains of agony that he had felt before but a constant sharp pain that had settled in his stomach. He couldn't stop the involuntary groans from escaping and each time they did someone was there for him, stroking his face, rubbing his temple and talking to him. He even heard Buck's voice but he didn't have the strength to tell him to go away. He knew that he couldn't blame Buck but he was angry at his situation and he needed to take that anger out on someone, he just wished he had the strength to show the anger that he felt towards him.
Josiah and Chris sat on either side of Ezra, they knew that he wasn't sleeping. He slack features often turned into grimaces of pain as he moaned and tossed his head. Josiah could feel his own weakness getting the better of him but he wouldn't leave Ezra's side. He kept Ezra's hand in his but felt that it was all he could do, whenever he tried to lean over the gambler and stroke his face he felt dizzy and had to pull back so he had to settle for watching Chris and the others as they comforted Ezra.
"He still awake?" Nathan asked as he came up behind Chris.
"Yeah, the pain must be stopping him from sleeping." Chris looked up at him and then stood up when Nathan indicated that he wanted to check on Ezra.
Nathan sat down and looked across at Josiah, he could see that he was struggling to keep awake. "Josiah you should get some sleep, you’re not doing Ezra any good. You know we'll wake you if his condition changes."
"Just a bit longer Nathan, then I'll get some sleep." Josiah didn't take his eyes off Ezra as another grimace crossed his face. Josiah suddenly thought about Ezra's father, he didn't know why but he did, he wondered what he was like, if he was still alive and if so why he had never had any sort of contact with his son. He watched as Ezra's face became slack again and asked himself if Ezra had gotten his handsome features and green eyes from his father, there was a resemblance to Maude but it wasn't strong. But it was something that he would never find out, Ezra had never spoken about his mother even after the day she had shown up in Four Corners much to Ezra's and everyone else's surprise.
They only found out what sort of mother she was because of the things that had happened to Ezra and he didn't give any information voluntarily, it was forced from him. He knew Ezra wouldn't speak of his father even though he had become closer to the other men who were more like a family to him now, he wasn't even sure if Ezra knew anything about his father. He was brought out of his thoughts by Nathan's voice.
Nathan sat on Ezra's left side and placed his hand on the bed on Ezra's right side so he could lean over him, he placed his right hand on Ezra's warm face and began to speak to him.
"Ezra? Can you hear me Ezra?" His voice was strong and loud so he could break through Ezra's pain filled mind.
"Ezra, you with me? Come-on Ezra, talk to me." He watched as Ezra turned his head towards him and felt him nod.
"Good, you don't have to talk, just nod okay." He felt his head nod weakly. "Is the pain bad?" The nod indicated yes. "Do you feel sick at all?" No. "I want to check your stomach and then your back. Okay?" Ezra shook his head and his eyes flew open. "It's okay Ezra, it'll only take me a moment."
"No, please." Ezra groaned weakly.
Nathan pulled the blanket down to Ezra's waist and gently pressed against the flesh, he wasn't prepared for Ezra's reaction. He screamed as he rolled onto his side and pulled his knees up to his chest, Nathan quickly removed his hands and checked Ezra's back while he had the opportunity. It was clear of any infection.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I won't do that again." Nathan assured him as he carefully tried to roll him back but Ezra wouldn't move so he left him on his right side facing Josiah, he pulled the blanket back up over Ezra and began to rub his upper back hoping that it would help him to relax and calm down.
Ezra took a stronger hold of the hand that held his as he waited for the pain that had erupted with Nathan's touch to ease but it didn't, it was getting worse like it had done before. "Nathan," he gasped through the pain, "it's coming back!"
Ezra didn't even have time to scream as the first agonising pain tore through him, it was so strong that he lost consciousness but the blackness didn't stop his body from reacting to the pain. Josiah didn't have the strength lift Ezra up into his arms like he wanted to. He felt someone's strong hands push him from the bed and he watched as Chris sat down and took Ezra from Nathan's arms and hold him to his chest, he sat down on the cot, never taking his eyes from Ezra's face as his head was now settled on Chris's shoulders. He saw his body jerk as the pain hit him but after a few minutes he stopped, his body relaxed in Chris's arms. The agonising pain had only lasted a few minutes, he hoped that was a good sign.
Chris felt Ezra relax in his arms and he looked over at Nathan. "It's stopped already?"
Nathan leaned forward and manoeuvred his arm between Chris and Ezra, he looked closely at Ezra's face as he pressed against his stomach, there was no reaction. He checked his pupils to make sure that he was okay and found that he was still unconscious. Nathan smiled up at Chris.
"The pain is finally gone." He took Ezra from Chris's arms and laid him back down, making him comfortable again.
"But for how long?" Chris asked him.
***
Ezra remained unconscious as the next two days passed by agonisingly slow for everyone. He hadn't made any sort of movement or sound during the two days and it had caused them to worry even more. His breathing was shallow and regular but his pulse was weak, his fever stayed high causing his skin to have a reddish tinge that stood out against the paleness of his flesh. They had only left the room when they had to, they forced each other to eat because if they left it to themselves no one would have touched any of the food that had been brought to them. Two of them stayed on the bed with Ezra at all times while the others either slept or watched him from a distance.
Vin sat on the bed with JD as they watched Ezra, he had finally convinced Chris and Nathan to get some sleep. His own hand lay on Ezra's chest so he could feel the slight rise of his chest as he breathed, it was the only way he was able to tell that he still lived. He felt his chest shift beneath him and heard the quick intake of breath as Ezra started to come out of his unconscious state. Ezra's eyes fluttered open and looked at the two men who sat with him without seeing them.
"Ezra?" Vin moved his hand up to his face and turned it towards him. "Ezra. It's Vin." He watched as the green orbs disappeared behind closed eyelids only to then reappear still showing the confusion that Ezra obviously felt. "Ezra?" Vin smiled as the eyes finally focused on him.
"Vin?" Ezra's voice was husky due to the dryness of his throat.
"Yeah it's me Ezra." He watched as Ezra's eyelids slowly closed again. "JD can you get some water please."
"Please." Ezra confirmed as he tried to shift his position. "Oh god!"
"What is it Ezra?" Vin was instantly concerned as he thought that the pain that Ezra had to endure was back.
"I hurt all over, my stomach and back are killing me as is the rest of me." Ezra groaned. He opened his eyes and looked into Vin's worried eyes. "Muscles, my stomach muscles hurt." He started to cough as the dryness of his throat took offense at its use and he gripped his stomach as the muscles contracted. JD returned with the water and when his coughing eased, they helped him drink it, making sure that he drank it slowly.
Ezra managed to roll over onto his right side as he hoped that it would allow the pain that he was feeling in his back to ease, he looked across the room at Josiah who was sleeping on the cot, he frowned and Vin caught the expression.
"Just sleeping Ezra, like everyone else." He nodded around the room to indicate the others.
"How long was I out for this time?" He closed his eyes as he tried to ignore Buck's presence in the corner of the room.
"Just over two days." JD answered him and then sat back as Ezra's eyes flew open as he turned his head towards him.
"Two days?" He groaned more at the pain he felt when he moved his head to quickly and shifted it into a more comfortable position on the pillow and closed his eyes to shut out the light. He couldn't understand why he hurt so much, he didn't do anything to deserve any of this.
"It's nearly over Ezra." Vin looked down. "I'm sorry Ezra, it was my fault too, I told JD to bet that glass of milk."
"Did you know what was in it?" Ezra asked him calmly.
"No."
"Then don't waste my time with your self-pity Vin, I don't want to hear it from either of you. That means you too JD." He wished that it didn't hurt so much.
"You okay Ezra?" He realised Ezra was angry but he wasn't sure if it was part of the sickness or from what was happening to him.
"Don't you think that's a stupid question Vin." Ezra groaned as he shifted his position again.
"JD go wake Nathan." Vin kept his eyes on Ezra and prepared himself for the violent explosion that he expected to erupt from him.
"You do that JD and while you’re at it can you get me some more water please."
It took JD a few minutes to wake Nathan but once he shrugged off the sleep that clouded his mind he rushed to the bed. He sat down next to Ezra and placed his hand on his forehead, his fever was still high, he frowned when Ezra weakly grabbed his hand and pushed it away, the weight of it made his head hurt more.
"He's in a bad mood Nathan." Vin explained as he took the cup of water from JD. "And he says that he hurts everywhere."
"Tell me how your feeling Ezra." Nathan ordered him.
"I believe Vin just told you Nathan." Ezra growled at him, he moved his head as he tried to find another position but it didn't matter how it was placed on the pillow it still hurt too much.
"Don't start Ezra." Chris warned him as he came towards the bed. All the noise had caused him to wake and he heard the tone in Ezra's words and knew that trouble was brewing. He was as glad as everyone else that Ezra was awake but he also worried that there was now something else wrong with him.
"And what can I start in this condition?" Ezra asked him, the sarcasm was heavy in his voice. "Vin are you going to hold onto that water all day or can I have it."
Chris removed the cup from Vin's hands and took his place on the bed, he then helped Ezra into a better position so he could drink the water. "Would you please answer Nathan's question Ezra."
"I hurt everywhere, like I have a bad case of flu, everything hurts, especially my head." Ezra explained finally as he gave up looking for an area of his head and body that didn't hurt, it didn't seem to matter how he lay, the pain didn't ease.
"Could you roll back over for me Ezra?" Nathan heard him groan at the thought. "It'll only be a for a couple of minutes." When he was on his back Nathan used his fingers to feel under Ezra's neck and then placed his ear against his chest to listen to his breathing, he heard Ezra's quick intake of breath when he put the weight of his head on his chest. "Okay you can go back onto your side if you want to."
Ezra instead rolled onto his left side to see if the pain would be any better it wasn't. "Aw hell."
"Ezra?" Nathan got off the bed and knelt down in front of him, he put his hand on his cheek but Ezra tried to push it away.
"Don't Nathan, it hurts." Ezra groaned.
"Are you saying it hurts when I touch you?" Ezra nodded but winced when his head hurt even more. "How bad is it Ezra."
"It's bad enough Nathan. Can I have some more water please and then I really must go and relieve myself."
"You're not going anywhere Ezra." Nathan told him.
"You don't expect me to use a bucket do you?" Ezra grimaced at the thought.
"That's exactly what you’re going to do." Nathan smiled at him.
"Buck really has a lot to pay for and he's going to pay with blood." Ezra growled and the smile dropped off Nathan's face as he looked over Ezra's shoulder at Chris.
"He didn't know what was going to happen Ezra." Chris explained to him as he put his hand on his shoulder but quickly removed it when Ezra shuddered under the touch.
"Would you find it easier to blame him if it was JD going through this and not me?" Ezra asked him.
"You know I wouldn't Ezra, the potion is only having this effect on you because of the alcohol you drank with the milk." Chris turned to look at Buck and found that he was awake and listening to the conversation.
"So it's my fault then, that's what your saying is it?" They could hear the insecurities that Ezra's voice held. "You want me to take the blame so your friend Buck doesn't have to."
Chris made his way around the bed so he too could look into Ezra's face. "Ezra look at me while I tell you this." He waited patiently for a few minutes before Ezra opened his eyes and focused on his face. "I care as much about you as I do Buck. Yes, he and I have been friends longer but like him your family now and I'm not trying to put the blame on anyone. It wasn't really anyone's fault Ezra, it was something that just happened. Buck feels bad about what he did and he's worried that he's going to lose your friendship."
"I don't blame him Chris, I'm just angry at him." Ezra muttered as his eyelids slid closed.
"You have every right to be angry Ezra." Chris told him as he watched the gambler drift off to sleep.
***
Ezra's sleep was constantly interrupted as the pain continued to wake him, he would change his sleeping position and then fall back to sleep only to wake again a short time later. They couldn't hold his hand or stroke his face to calm him down as it seemed to make the pain even worse. They could only sit by and watch him, this made them feel even more helpless because they couldn't do anything to help him. This went on for another six hours and then he finally settled into a more peaceful sleep. When this happened, Nathan carefully put his hand on Ezra's shoulder to find that it didn't agitate him and then his forehead to discover that his fever had come down. Ezra then slept late into the night without any further disturbances.
"Nathan how much longer do you think it will take?" Chris asked him as he brushed the hair from Ezra's forehead.
"Tomorrow is the fifth day so it should hopefully be leaving his system already." Nathan answered him. He was on the bed leaning back against the head board with his eyes closed and was stroking the back of Ezra's head, their touch of concern was becoming like second nature to them, it now seemed so natural to show Ezra their concern.
"You don't think that anything else is going to happen do you?" He moved from the bed and sat in the chair that faced Ezra. Josiah had been sitting in it but he had fallen asleep so they woke him up and moved him back to the cot.
"I hope not Chris." Nathan could feel himself drifting off to sleep so he forced his eyes back open, he wanted to be awake when Ezra woke up.
Ezra could feel someone rubbing the back of his head and neck and allowed himself to relax. The touch that he had once feared and rejected became a source of comfort for him and he wasn't going to push it away, he kept his eyes closed because he knew that if he opened them the person would stop and he didn't want them to. He realised that the pain he had been feeling was now just a steady ache except for his stomach that was still sore. Ezra could feel another ache and he couldn't refuse it any longer. He opened his eyes and focused on Chris.
"Hey Ezra, how are you feeling." Chris smiled at him and couldn't hide the relief when Ezra smiled back.
"I feel a strong need to relieve myself."
"We'll give you some help Ezra." Nathan told him as he got up off the bed.
"I would rather you helped me into the back room and then allow me some privacy, I would like to keep my dignity in tack thank you very much."
"Only if you can manage it Ezra." Nathan pulled the bedcover back and with Chris's help, Ezra was able to sit up, he then had to wait a few minutes for the dizziness to pass before he attempted to try to stand. With Nathan and Chris, each holding an arm they led Ezra into the back room and left him alone.
They waited five minutes and heard a muttered curse followed by a loud crashing noise and they rushed into the room to find Ezra sitting on the floor with his arms wrapped around himself, he smiled up at them.
"Sorry but my legs could no longer hold me up."
"You finished now Ezra." Nathan shook his head at him.
"Yes thank you, feeling much better, now if only I could sleep for a month, preferably in my own room of course." Ezra muttered as his eyelids grew heavy.
Chris knelt down and lifted Ezra into his arms, he heard no protests come from the gambler because he was asleep as soon as his head fell against Chris's shoulder. He took him back to the bed and laid him down before Nathan carefully placed the blanket back over him.
"Sounds like he's feeling a lot better." Nathan voiced his relief as he sat back down on the bed.
"Just like his old self and that's what worries me." Chris removed Nathan's relief with one simple statement. "I mean he couldn't just go from one extreme to the other could he?"
"He might, it was the potion and alcohol that did it and once it's out of his system he should be more or less back to his normal self. His stomach should be sore for a few days but apart from that he should be fine." Nathan settled down against the bed head once more while Chris sat back in the chair.
***
Ezra became aware of the sun shining through the window into his eyes, he wanted to blink against the harsh sunlight and roll over onto his other side but he couldn't gather the strength that he would require to do such as task, he groaned as the pain spread through his stomach as he took in a deep breath. He felt terrible, his muscles ached all over, his head hurt and he felt like he couldn't even lift his little finger no matter how hard he tried. 'Life is hell.' he thought to himself. He felt someone's warm hand as it was placed against the side of his face.
"Ezra?" Josiah leaned over him and waited, he heard him groan and knew that he was waking up. "Ezra!" He called more loudly. "Come on Ezra, you've been asleep long enough, you need to get some fluids into you." Josiah took his hand off his face and gently shook his shoulder. "Ezra wake up!" He watched as Ezra struggled to open his eyes.
"That's the way Ezra, you can do it."
"What time is it?" Ezra muttered.
"It's about seven in the morning Ezra." Josiah answered him, he was glad to finally hear his voice.
"Then I'm not waking up, it's too early."
"I want you to drink some water Ezra and then you can go back to sleep okay." He shook his shoulder more roughly.
"Wake up Ezra!"
"Alright, just give me a minute." Ezra groaned in protest.
"If I do that Ezra, you'll go back to sleep." Josiah smiled down at him.
"That was the idea Josiah." Ezra forced his eyes open and looked up at his friend. "Glad to see your okay Josiah."
"I'll only be okay if I know that you don't blame yourself for what happened Ezra." He put his hand under Ezra's head and lifted him up so he could drink the water, when he was done he gently laid his head back down.
"Who else am supposed to blame Josiah?"
"No one is to blame Ezra."
"You said I've been asleep long enough, how long is that?" Ezra changed the subject and heard Josiah's loud sigh when he did.
"Three days Ezra. Three very long days." He refilled the empty cup. "Here, I want you to drink some more water."
"Three days, I wanted to sleep for a month." He drank the second cup of water.
"Think you’re up to eating something?" Josiah asked him.
"Josiah, I'm not even up to being awake." He closed his eyes as the sleep took him back into its embrace.
***
Ezra heard the voice and felt the hand as it stroked his forehead, trying to wake him up a second time, he groaned in protest as he had only just gotten back to sleep after Josiah had disturbed him. Didn't they realise that a man needed his sleep, he was going to have something to say about it when he got enough strength together to raise his voice at them. The voice continued and he knew they weren't going to leave him alone so he opened his heavy eyes and looked into Chris's blue ones.
"I should have known." Ezra muttered as he closed his eyes again.
"No you don't Ezra, open them up again, I want to see those pretty green eyes of yours." Chris had spent the last ten minutes trying to wake him up, no one else had been able to succeed in their attempts to wake Ezra.
"Chris you are really starting to worry me with that type of talk." Ezra opened his eyes anyway. "Why are you waking me when I only just got back to sleep?"
"That was yesterday Ezra." Nathan told him as he came closer to the bed, he had a cooling bowl of broth in his hands.
"I want you to eat something."
"I'm not hungry Nathan." Ezra closed his eyes but someone gently slapped his face and his eyes flew open again.
"I don't care Ezra, you’re eating something whether you like it or not." Nathan growled at him and removed his hand from Ezra's face. "The potion is out of your system now but your still very weak, you need to eat and sleep so you can build your strength back up."
"I assumed that I was getting better." Ezra looked up at Nathan and smiled. "You're no longer being nice to me."
Ezra allowed Chris and Nathan to help him sit up, he couldn't even hold the spoon in his hand so Nathan had to feed him and while he did this Chris talked to Ezra.
"Buck wants to see you." Chris informed him.
"I don't want to see him." Ezra told him between mouthfuls, he just wanted to go back to sleep.
"I thought we went through this before Ezra."
Ezra turned his face away from the spoon in Nathan's hand and looked into Chris's eyes. "I know, I told you I don't blame him but I'm still angry. You know my mouth, I might say something that I won't be able to take back, I'd rather talk to him when I calm down." He turned back to Nathan. "I can't eat anymore Nathan, it's starting to make me feel sick."
"Okay, now drink some water and then you can go back to sleep." When Ezra finished the water, they helped him settle back down and watched as he took on the steady rhythm of sleep once more.
***
Over the next few days they continued to wake Ezra on a regular basis so they could get him to eat and drink and each time they did this he thought that it had only been a few minutes since he had fallen back to sleep. His body continued to recover but it was going to be a slow process because the potion had taken a lot out of him, he had also lost a lot of blood due to the gunshot wound in his back.
Because they had to wake him, they allowed Buck to stay with him as often as he wanted and he only left the room when they brought food for Ezra to eat and then went back in after they had left. Chris had told him that Ezra didn't blame him for what happened but he was to angry to talk to him about it.
It was on one of these occasions that Ezra had woken on his own to find Buck sitting in the chair across from him. Buck got up to leave but Ezra's voice stopped him.
"You don't have to go Buck, it's okay." Ezra told him.
"I'm sorry Ezra, if I had known I wouldn't have done it, I mean I've never seen you drink milk before, I didn't think you or Vin would have touched it, I didn't know what was going to happen, didn't know what you were going to go through."
"Buck." Ezra waited a moment for his rambling to stop. "Buck!" He finally stopped but he wouldn't look at Ezra. "I don't blame you Buck and I'm not angry anymore but that doesn't mean you’re not going to pay for what you did." Buck
looked up at Ezra, he wasn't sure what he was going to do. "I just have to think of something first." He allowed a small smile to creep across his face but Buck looked away from him. "Could you come and help me sit up please." Buck put his hat down on the cot and moved to the bed carefully, he helped Ezra up into a sitting position. "Now come here." Ezra didn't have any trouble hugging Buck, he found it easy to do. "I don't blame you Buck, it's okay." He listened as Buck began to cry.
"I'm sorry Ezra."
"It's alright Buck, don't worry about it." Ezra held onto him as tightly as his strength would allow him to, grateful that he was able to show Buck that he cared and didn't blame him. It was the first time he was really able to show this type of affection to anyone without cringing inside at the thought.
Buck's tears only stopped when he felt someone's hand on his shoulder, he looked up at Chris standing over them.
"He's asleep Buck, I think you've hugged him long enough, maybe you should lie him back down." Chris couldn't keep the smile off his face as he took Ezra out of Buck's arms and laid him back onto the bed.
"Wasn't me Chris, it was Ezra." He smiled as he wiped his tears away. "He made the first move."
"Why don't you go and get some rest Buck, I'll sit with him for a while." Chris suggested.
"In a minute Chris." Buck leaned forward and brushed the hair away from Ezra's face, he then lightly kissed his forehead before he got up and left the room.
The End
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five
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