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azombiewritesTitle: Ulterior Motives
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language, violence and drug use.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest.
Summary: When Ezra is informed of the death of a friend, he finds out that there is an ulterior motive behind it.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Notes: This story takes place two months after 'The Betrayal' and refers to that story. Lenny Hoskins is my creation.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 37,801
Ezra could feel the pain coming back; the hurt emanated from his chest, his confused mind couldn't find a cause. He tried to push the fog from his brain so he could think; it lifted but did not completely clear itself from his mind. He didn't remember being injured in any way, he frowned in confusion then a familiar voice filled his mind and its sound brought the terrifying nightmare back. Lenny was dead. 'Lenny's dead. Lenny's dead. Lenny's dead.' He kept repeating the words over and over. He didn't want to believe it but he remembered the phone call he had taken that morning, but he didn't remember much after that. He wasn't even sure where he was. The voice called to him again. It was Chris. He ignored him. He wanted to stay in the darkness where the living nightmare didn't exist.
"Come on Ezra." Chris had seen the frown that was followed by the body movement, which indicated that the sleeping man was now waking, he was returning to them.
Ezra rolled away from the voice, he couldn't wake up, and he didn't want to live through Lenny's death. How was he going to cope without his only real friend? Yes, the others were his friends but they weren't like Lenny, no one was like Lenny. The man was his support through a troubled adult life that wasn't much different or better than his childhood.
"Ezra!" Chris took his shoulder and began to shake the Southerner. "We need to talk Ezra."
"We don't need to do anything."
"It's about Lenny." He felt Ezra tense up under his grip. "He might not be dead Ezra."
Did he hear him correctly, he wasn't sure, maybe it was a dream after all but he didn't want to find out, if it was a dream then reality would soon take control and admit the truth, that his long time friend was dead. He opened his eyes anyway and lifted his head to look over his shoulder to make sure the face that was looking at him was serious.
"What?"
"Lenny may not be dead. In fact we're pretty sure he isn't." Chris assured him.
"We?"
"We've been talking to Agent Thompson, he's been very helpful." Chris stood up. "Now get up and come out to the lounge room and we'll tell you everything we know."
Ezra just continued to look at him, the confusion he was feeling showed on his face and in his eyes. Lenny wasn't dead.
"Not dead?"
Chris sat down again but this time on the bed, he grabbed Ezra's exposed shoulder again and turned him onto his back.
"No."
"No?"
"Are you okay Ezra?" Chris was worried. He didn't seem to comprehend what he was being told.
"What?"
"Hold on a sec, I'll get Nathan." He was even more concerned when Ezra didn't respond to what he'd said.
Ezra didn't care, he rolled back over and closed his eyes, someone was playing a cruel joke, and he was told that morning that Lenny was dead now he was being told that he wasn't. He wanted the darkness back; maybe Nathan would give him some more of those pills. He felt the bed shift then someone's hands pulled him onto his back, he struggled against them. His right eyelid was forced open and he tried to swipe at the offending force but someone grabbed his hand and held it down against the bed.
"He's still a bit groggy Chris. He just needs some time to wake up." Nathan informed him.
Ezra managed to push Nathan away from his face, but he felt it was because he'd let him, he rolled back over but all that went through his confused mind was Lenny, first dead than alive. What were they doing to him? Were they paying him back for everything that he had done wrong since joining the team? Was it a way for them to get rid of him? No, it wasn't the guys that were doing this. A thought struck him, the phone call he'd taken that morning, the guy had asked if he'd been told yet and that he would call back later, maybe he did and he told Chris that Lenny wasn't dead.
"Is he really alive?" Ezra asked.
"We're pretty sure Ezra." Chris told him. "We'll give you some time to wake up then come back."
"Don't leave me alone." Ezra told them, he didn't know why he opened up to them, he had decided to push them away, they couldn't help him but at the moment he didn't want to be alone, his was afraid of his thoughts, he needed someone to be there with him.
"I won't leave Ezra, just get some rest, I'll be here." Chris sat back down in the chair and smiled towards Nathan.
"I'll go and put some coffee on." Nathan took one last look at Ezra then left.
An hour later Ezra was sitting on the long lounge with Chris on one side of him and Josiah on the other. The older man kept touching him to show his concern and Ezra cringed each time he did, he'd finally told him to stop, he couldn't handle the amount of concern they were showing him. It felt more like pity than anything else and he didn't want it, especially if Lenny wasn't dead. He leaned forward and put his empty cup on the coffee table but it soon disappeared when JD took it and returned it to the kitchen, Ezra grimaced at him.
He continued to listen as they repeated the information that Thompson had passed on to them, his listened with rapped attention until the prosthesis was mentioned, his head turned towards Chris as the words spilled out of his leader's mouth. His cold stare caused Chris to stop what he was saying.
"Ezra what's wrong?" Chris looked at the emotion that filled Ezra's eyes; it was a mixture of anger and loss.
"You lied to me." Ezra kept his voice low.
"What do you mean?" Chris voiced his confusion.
"You told me he wasn't dead, you lied to me. Are you playing some sort of sick joke?"
"What are you talking about Ezra?" Josiah spoke from the other side.
Ezra stood up and walked away from them, Chris followed him.
"Lenny had a second prosthesis put into his elbow four years ago, if you or Thompson had gone to the trouble of checking further you'd know that but instead you had to make me think he was alive when he wasn't!" Ezra backed away as Chris came closer. His back hit the wall and he allowed himself to slide to the floor.
"You made me think he was alive."
"I'm sorry Ezra, I didn't know, your right we should have checked." Chris knelt down in front of him.
"You made me think he was alive." Ezra repeated, his voice was barely a whisper. "Why did you do that?"
"We thought that he was alive Ezra, we didn't know about the prosthesis, neither did Thompson and he was also a close friend of Lenny's." Chris told him.
Ezra drew his legs up and placed his head on his knees to hide the tears. His hope had been shattered, his healing heart was torn open again, he couldn't deal with this, he began to convulse as the emotions poured out. He felt someone's hands take him and draw him close to them, he didn't fight them, he couldn't control the feelings that he had held onto with a strong grip any longer.
"I'm sorry Ezra." Chris could see the emotions take control of the Southerner, he reached out and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. He felt awkward but Ezra needed a friend, he needed to be comforted and most of all he needed to mourn for his murdered friend and he wouldn't let him do it alone.
Ezra felt the embrace strengthen, as he was pulled closer to a comforting force. Everything his mother taught him told him to pull away, to push his emotions to the back of his mind and gain control of himself but his heart told him what Lenny had tried to teach him, he needed to let these types of emotions out or they could destroy him. The thought of Lenny brought new tears to his eyes.
"Ezra there's something else, but we'll talk about it when you’re ready." Chris spoke into the shaking man's ear.
Ezra took a few minutes to gain control of himself, he was beginning to feel embarrassed, he'd never acted like this in front of other people, only Lenny and it had only been the once when things had become too much for him after the rumours had started. He pushed himself away and began to wipe his moist eyes.
Chris allowed Ezra to move away from him but he stayed close, he berated himself for speaking, his voice had ended Ezra's much needed emotional outburst, now he was going to lock it away again.
"What is it this time?" Ezra asked, he didn't hide his sarcasm. "Lenny had a twin brother and it was he who died and not Lenny!"
"Ezra we're trying to help, we made a mistake, don't push us away because of it." Josiah moved towards him.
Ezra turned away from them and leaned against the wall. "What else is there?"
Chris looked over his shoulder at the others, Buck hadn't returned yet. Josiah nodded at him to continue.
"Someone phoned earlier, he wanted to talk to you, and he claimed to be the person who killed Lenny." Chris was surprised by the look on Ezra's face when his head quickly turned to face him.
"Someone told you he killed Lenny and you still thought that he was alive. Are you stupid! Jesus, what are you trying to do to me?" Ezra growled at him. "Wasn't that enough evidence for you to know that he was dead, you still had to tell me otherwise?" He looked around the room at the other men. "Oh I know what it is, you’re getting back at me for what happened before, and you’re trying to make me suffer because of what I did when I went undercover."
"Ezra that's not true!" Chris told him. "You know none of that was your fault, we were the ones that made the mistake."
"Isn't it?" Ezra pushed himself up and used the wall for support. "You never liked him, you hated him, you’re probably glad he's dead!"
"Ezra, none of us liked Lenny, we admit that but he was your friend, were not glad he's dead, we knew what he meant to you, if we could bring him back for you we would. We know your suffering, we don't want to make it any harder for you, and we just want to help you." Josiah told him as he stood next to him.
"He was the only real friend that I've ever had Josiah." He felt the tears fill his eyes again and he struggled to stop them from falling but he couldn't, he felt the dampness run down his cheeks.
"I know Ezra, I know." This time Josiah took the Southerner into his arms and held onto him.
The only noise that could be heard was Ezra's tears as he cried for his friend, no one dared speak for fear of stopping him again. When Ezra began to become quiet Josiah led the smaller man back to the couch, he gently forced him to sit down, he took the tissue that Nathan handed to him and gave it to Ezra.
"I'm sorry." Ezra whispered.
"That's okay Ezra, you need to cry, you lost a good friend, you can't keep what you’re feeling inside, and you have to let it out." Josiah put his arm around him and gave him a comforting hug.
Ezra nodded and leaned back into the couch. "This man that phoned, did he say anything about me being told about something?"
"He said that because we were here that you must have been told about Lenny." Chris walked to the couch and sat down next to Ezra. "Has he already contacted you?"
"That prank that I mentioned, someone called me at about eight forty five this morning, didn't give his name, he said," Ezra's brow wrinkled in concentration, "I take it you haven't been told yet and that he'd call me back later."
"It would have to be the same guy." Chris agreed.
"What else did he say?" Ezra turned his damp eyes to Chris.
"That he only wanted to talk to you, said he call back tonight." Chris told him. "Thompson is faxing through information on the case that Lenny worked on to the office, that's where Buck is."
"But you don't think that has anything to do with it, you think this guy is after me, that's why he's calling me." Ezra stated. "Lenny died because someone wanted to get to me."
'Shit!' Chris thought to himself. "This isn't your fault Ezra. You can't blame yourself for his death. Please don't do that!"
Ezra looked down at his hands; they were tearing the tissue apart, just like his heart was being torn apart. This is why his mother always told him not to get close to people, that they could be used against him. Why didn't he listen, why did he ever let Lenny in, now Lenny had paid the cost of being his friend? Of course, it was his fault that his friend, the man that he thought of as a brother was dead; the guilt belonged to him and the man that killed Lenny.
"Ezra?"
"What?"
"Don't blame yourself!" Chris growled at him.
"How long are you going to stay here?" Ezra ignored Chris' order.
"For as long as it takes to catch this guy, and then longer if you need someone to stay, you won't have a choice in the matter Ezra, we're not going to leave you alone." Chris told him.
"Fucking great!" Ezra pushed himself off the couch and headed to his room, the door slammed behind him.
Chris followed him but this time the door was gently closed, he felt no anger towards Ezra, he knew what he was going through. He looked at the form that was curled up on its side on the bed, he moved forward and sat on the bed and faced Ezra.
"Go away and leave me alone!"
"I'm not going to do that Ezra." Chris told him.
"I'm fine!" Ezra argued with him.
"No you’re not." Chris reached his arm out to him but Ezra violently pushed it away. "Ezra, I understand, I know what you’re going through."
Ezra looked up at him from his position on the bed, he curled himself up even tighter trying to protect himself from any more hurt but it still managed to find its way into his soul. "Then you also know that I need to be alone."
"Yes I do Ezra but not now, I also know you, and you’ll probably be out that window before I even leave the room." Chris tried to smile to make Ezra feel at ease but he only managed a weak smile that hardly showed itself on his face.
"What if I give you my word that I won't leave?" Ezra's eyes did his pleading for him.
"Okay, promise me that you won't leave." Chris stood up.
"I give you my word Chris."
"That's good enough for me Ezra." He walked away and gripped the door handle. "I'll come and get you when Buck gets back." He sighed when Ezra shut him out, his face was buried in his pillow and he could see that his body was already beginning to shake.
Chris opened the door and left the room, he quietly closed the barrier behind him and the sound of Ezra's torment ended abruptly, he stood by the door for a few minutes then turned back to the men who were watching him, and he walked to the couch and sat down. Chris took the cup of coffee that JD offered him. He lifted it to his mouth but stopped, he watched as the steam floated up and touch his face with its moisture, it gave him a feeling of sadness, the dampness on his face reminded him of the tears that had fallen from his own eyes and the trails of mourning that were now lining Ezra's features. God he hated this shit, he wanted to do something to take the pain from Ezra's heart and his own.
"You want me to go and sit with him?" Josiah asked Chris but he seemed to be distracted, he nudged him with his finger then repeated his question.
"He wants and needs some time alone." Chris looked down into his coffee, distance memories began to repeat in his mind, everything was coming back to him and he didn't want it, not now, Ezra needed him, he wasn't going to be able to help him if he became emotional. The remembrance of those first days after he had been told about his wife and son's murder forced its way through his defences. He hadn't been able to cope, Buck had been there for him but he refused his help and took refuge in a bottle instead. He was going to make sure that Ezra wouldn’t make the same mistake that he did, even if he didn't accept their help they were going to force him to take it but what about himself. After this was over he was going to have to talk to someone, he was going to have to deal with the feelings that this had brought back, and he couldn't just push them away again.
Maybe Josiah was right, he should use these feelings to help himself as well as Ezra, he could talk to the Southerner, it seemed like they were now soul mates when it came to feeling the loss of a loved one. Chris' loss had been family, but Ezra's was more, he had lost an important friendship. Lenny was the only thing in his life that was good to him, Chris was hoping that they could give Ezra the same thing that he had with Lenny but it was going to take a long time for him to fully trust them the same way that he'd trusted Lenny. The trust he'd had with the agent allowed him to share his emotions, his fears, his dreams and his heart. He had never done that with another person, Lenny had been everything to Ezra and more.
"Thought you weren't going to leave him alone." Vin spoke from one of the chairs that adorned the large living space.
"He gave me his word that he wouldn't leave; besides I know he won't try and leave until after he talks to this guy, he'd be running blind if he left now." Chris explained, he was grateful for the interruption that Vin's voice brought, he pushed his memories and feelings aside, he would deal with them later.
"You sure about that?" Vin asked him, it had been Chris who said that Ezra would try to leave and now he was leaving him on his own.
"Of course I'm sure! I know how he's thinking, I went through it myself remember!" Chris' harshness surprised everyone but Josiah.
"I know." Vin answered quietly.
Chris wanted to apologise but he didn't, Vin was questioning him and the way he was dealing with this, he didn't have the right to do that, no one did, he knew what Ezra was feeling and thinking. The shock had finally left Ezra but was replaced with a feeling of total loss, his emotions had taken control, the anger would come next, he would be angry at everything and everyone. And it was at this time that he was going to need them the most, they had to stay close to him and not allow him to push them away.
All five men tensed up when they heard the front door, Buck called out to them so they wouldn't shoot him when he physically appeared in front of them. He walked towards the couch with a thick folder, he dropped it on the table that was cantered in the middle of the room, some of the facsimiles slipped out and the words looked up at the men who now surrounded it. Buck went to help himself to coffee; he needed it after reading through what Thompson had faxed to him. Chris and the others waited patiently for him, they could tell by his features that the news wasn't going to be good.
Buck returned to the lounge room and sat down next to Chris, he saw the same look that had been a constant companion after his wife and son had died, the haunted appearance had returned.
"How's Ezra? How did he take the news?" He glanced around at the solemn faces that looked back at him.
"What's wrong?"
"We told Ezra." Chris spoke for the rest of them who were still feeling awkward about Ezra's show of emotions, none of them had seen the Southerner in that sort of state before, even when they had spent the two weeks up at Chris' cabin with Ezra and Lenny, and they had seen plenty of anger but never tears. "And he told us that Lenny had prosthesis four years ago so it must have been Lenny in that car. It sounds more like they were trying to hide the corpse's identity and didn't know about the pin in his elbow."
"Aw hell." Buck muttered.
"Ezra didn't take it as well as you Buck, he was pretty angry, thought we were telling him this just to get back at him for what happened before." Chris turned his eyes back to his coffee, he had seen the recognition in Buck's eyes, and his long time friend could see what he was going through. He waved his hand through the air as if to elaborate what he was saying but knew he had to say more. "The Collins situation thinks we're glad that Lenny's dead. So everyone is going to have to be careful what they say to him."
Buck nodded and looked around the room, they were all silent, no one knew what to say to each other or to Ezra, he was afraid the silence that was going to meet the Southerner would be taken the wrong way.
"Did you read any of this stuff as it came through?" Chris asked him after he picked up the folder and began to look through it, each interruption that stopped his thoughts didn't last, and it was as though it was someone's intention to make him suffer along side of Ezra.
"Yeah and you'd never guess who's name kept coming up." Buck grimaced but didn't give anyone a chance to come up with a name; he knew they weren't in the mood for games. "George Merchant."
"Merchant?" Chris was surprised.
"Merchant." Buck echoed.
________________________________________
Ezra stood on the other side of the door, he wiped at his face and felt the moisture on the back of his hand, he listened to the muffled voices that came from the lounge room, and he made out some of the words but not enough to know what they were talking about. He didn't want to go out there and face them after what he'd done, he felt so vulnerable, his face was an open book, they could read his features in much the same way as they were able to read a book, his expressions gave them a story just like the written words in a novel. Ezra had never shown anyone other than Lenny that side of himself and now these men had seen it. He could picture the expressions that would be on the six men's faces and he dreaded it, they would feel awkward, they won't know what to say to him but he was feeling the same way, he didn't know what to do in return.
He made sure that his face was dry and after taking a deep breath, he opened the door and faced the men that were not going to leave him alone. In one way, he was grateful knowing that he didn't have to deal with this on his own but they were also going to try to stop him from going after the man who had killed Lenny. His emotions lurched and threatened to take control of his heart once more at the thought of his friend's death, he fought to gain control, it was a struggle but he managed to do it before he faced the men who had taken up a permanent residence in his townhouse.
He stepped into the lounge room and felt their eyes upon him but he wouldn't look at them in return, he didn't want to see the sympathy that he knew would be there, the only face that held understanding was Chris'. He saw someone get off the lounge, a space was left open for him so he could sit between the two men who had remained on it, he didn't want that, he stood next to the chair closest to his room and looked down at Josiah; the older man must have read his thoughts. When Josiah moved from his position Ezra sat down in the chair that was separated from everyone else, it was one way of stopping them from getting too close. He felt Josiah's hand on his shoulder, the gentle squeeze gave him a small amount of security, but he would only allow them to help him when he was ready. There were other things that had to be done first; the man that killed Lenny had to be caught. He shrugged Josiah's hand off; he would accept his concern at a later time.
But Josiah didn't give up; he patted Ezra's shoulder a second time just so he knew that he was still there, that the Southerner hadn't managed to push him away. He didn't move away from the chair either; he sat down on the arm of the large chair. He was going to stay close to his young friend. He didn't want to be too far away when Ezra did reach out for them, he wasn't going to be able to keep them away on a permanent basis; a time was going to come when he wouldn't be able to take it anymore, the emotions would be too much for him and he would break down. He couldn't and shouldn't be alone when that finally did happen.
Ezra saw someone coming towards him and he instantly put his wall in front of him so whoever it was couldn't get through to him, he didn't want them to see what he was feeling. The figure knelt down in front of him, he lifted his eyes and expected to see Chris but instead it was Buck. He felt the man's hands on his knees, he wanted to kick out at him to force him to remove them, and he knew he should use his voice instead but he couldn't be bothered, the use of his legs would be less of an effort on his part.
"Ezra." Buck looked up into the tortured green eyes and saw the same thing that he had seen in Chris' eyes five years ago but that look had also returned to his friend. He was torn between Ezra and Chris, he wanted to help both of them, he forced himself to concentrate on Ezra, his emotional wounds were fresh, and he was hurting more than Chris. "I'm sorry about Lenny. I want you to know that we're here for you, you may not want us here at the moment but when you’re ready we'll be here . . . we're going to do everything we can to catch this guy Ezra. You’re not going to do it your own." Buck could see the anger building in Ezra's eyes but he didn't realise that the anger was aimed at him so he continued.
Chris had known that Buck would want to talk to Ezra, to explain to him that he wasn't going to be alone. He had heard the same speech when he had woken up in a hospital, the forced admittance had resulted from a drunken stupor that had lasted three days, and it nearly resulted in the welcoming death that he had secretly sought out. But this time it wasn't going the same way, he had been angry when Buck spoke to him but the anger had been aimed at himself and the people that had killed his family. He could see that Ezra's anger was building but something told him that it was aimed directly at Buck; he had no idea why but thought that the best thing to do would be to stop Buck and remove him from Ezra's line of sight but he didn't act quickly enough.
"Why would you be here for me?" Ezra growled down at him. "Why would you even want to catch this guy?"
"Ezra I . . . " Buck slowly stood up and backed away from Ezra. He knew and understood what the Southerner was capable of doing if you pushed him too far and he knew he had; he could see the same anger in his eyes that was evident when he kicked Chris when he had tried to explain his reasons for treating Ezra the way he did.
"You got what you wanted. I'm hurting just like Chris was and is still hurting. That's what you wanted isn't it?" Ezra's voice was becoming louder; it began to rise to catch up with the level of anger that was now near breaking point.
"You know that's not what I want." Buck spoke calmly; Ezra didn't need any more aggravation.
"Yes you do!" Ezra yelled at him as he angrily pushed himself up into a standing position, he could no longer control the anger that had begun to fill his soul, he needed to get rid of it and Buck was the perfect target and he wasn't going to feel any guilt over it. "That's what you told me! You wanted to hurt me, now I'm hurting. Does that make you happy that you've gotten what you wanted?"
Buck hung his head, Ezra was right, that was what he had wanted. "I don't want that anymore Ezra, I don't like seeing you hurt like this, and you don't deserve it."
"But Lenny does is that it?" Ezra advanced on him, but he felt large hands grab his arms and pull him back, he struggled against the person who was holding him while his verbal assault continued. "You hated him! All of you did! None of you care that he's dead! And you least of all! You wanted to hurt me and now I'm hurting! You got what you wanted!"
"Ezra!" Josiah spoke into the struggling Southerner's ear. "It isn't Buck's fault; don't take your anger out on him."
"He wanted to hurt me Josiah." Ezra didn't look at him but continued to try to pull away from him but Josiah's determination and strength outweighed Ezra's emotionally distraught form.
"They were different circumstances Ezra, things have changed since then, you know now that Buck would never want to hurt you that way again." Josiah turned the smaller man towards him; he needed to get his full attention.
"I don't know that, the only thing I do know is that none of you care about what happened to Lenny and if you don't care about that then you don't care or understand what I'm going through." Ezra's anger left him, he no longer struggled against Josiah's grip, and he looked up into the light blue eyes that stared back at him.
"We do care Ezra; we care about what happened to Lenny because we care about you." He tried to pull Ezra towards him, he thought that he would accept the embrace because he had stopped trying to get away but Ezra violently pushed himself away from him, Josiah tired to hold on but the sound of the telephone ringing distracted him. The Southerner succeeded in removing himself from his hold.
JD quickly disappeared into the spare room where the recording equipment had been set up. Chris hadn't wanted Ezra to see that they had bugged the phone, he knew the undercover agent wasn't stupid but his emotions would be clouding his judgement, he might not think about it soon enough to stop the call from being recorded.
"You don't have to talk to him Ezra." Josiah stood even closer to his friend, he was hoping to protect him from what the phone call would do to him, and he was already in a bad way and didn't want anything to add to his suffering.
Ezra ignored him and stepped towards the phone, he glanced over his shoulder and saw Chris, the man nodded in understanding. The Southerner turned back to the cordless phone and reached out a shaking hand, he gripped the receiver tightly in his hand and lifted it to his ear.
"Standish." He kept control of his voice; the person on the other side wasn't going to be in control of this conversation.
"Get rid of the phone tap." Was the only statement.
Ezra frowned in confusion, then it hit him, how could he have been so stupid, of course they would have the phone tapped, he turned his angry expression towards Chris.
"You put a tap on the phone, take it off." Ezra saw the hesitation in Chris' body language. He put his palm over the mouthpiece. "Get rid of it!"
"No." Chris needed to make it look good, if he got rid of the first tap so easily then Ezra would suspect that they had a backup.
He turned back to the phone. "Can you give me a minute?"
"Sure, as long as there isn't a trace on the phone." But the man knew that there wasn't, a small laugh followed his words, he was enjoying himself and this made Ezra even angrier.
The Southerner put the man on hold, Lenny was already dead, there wasn't anything else this man could do to his friend, he smiled then turned towards the group of men, he noticed that JD was no longer in the room. He knew that his words weren't going to convince them to take the tap off the phone so he had to do something else. He walked towards his room; he knew they would follow him so he moved quickly. He saw his gun lying on the bedside table, he moved towards it and before anyone knew what he was doing, he had the gun in his hand. He turned around to find Chris standing in front of him so he continued to ignore him. He pushed passed the man he had thought understood what he was going through; it had obviously been an act.
"Ezra what the hell are you doing?" Chris asked him, he would have restrained him but couldn't risk the gun going off and causing someone an injury.
"You won't get rid of it so I am." Ezra growled at him as he made his way to the spare room, it was the only place that JD could have gone.
Ezra opened the door to find JD sitting in front of makeshift table, a recorder sat on top of it, the wheels that held the tape were turning, and his conversation was being recorded. He grimaced at the head phones that sat against JD's ears, the young man hadn't heard him come in. Ezra raised the gun and fired a single bullet into the recorder. JD practically fell from his seat when Ezra moved forward, put the phone on the table and tore the headphones off JD's head and threw them across the room. They broke when they hit the wall, much like his alarm clocks did, and he then picked the phone back up and grabbed a handful of the shocked young man's shirt and dragged him out of the room. Ezra didn't even realise that no one had really tried to stop him, he was too angry to think.
He took the caller off hold and spoke into the phone. "It's gone."
"There's a second one." Ezra thought that he heard admiration in the tone. "I'll call back in five minutes; you’re going to need more time to get rid of it." The conversation ended.
Chris watched Ezra carefully; he could see the controlled anger that filled him. He knew that he wouldn't hurt JD, but he was ready just in case he lost control. He could feel Buck tense up beside him and was grateful that he didn't move towards the Southerner, if he had it may have caused damage to the trust that had built up between them since they had come back from the cabin two months ago, damage that they would not be able to repair. He saw Ezra put the phone down, the conversation couldn't have been over that quickly, he was about to say something when Ezra headed back to the spare room, he followed him into the room and found him searching through the boxes.
"What are you doing Ezra?" But he knew, his undercover agent had worked out that there was a second tap, therefore more recording equipment. He looked sideways at JD who nodded to one of the boxes in the corner of the room; it would only be a matter of minutes before Ezra found it. He had to think of something quick, he moved forward.
"Ezra! I asked you what you’re doing." Chris grabbed him and spun him around.
Ezra pushed him away. "You know what I'm doing so you can stop playing your stupid games!"
The undercover agent continued to search for the second tap; he had to find it before the guy called back. He knew the man wanted something from him, otherwise he wouldn't care who was listening in on the call.
"Ezra, do you trust me?" Chris asked him, his words stopped the Southerner and the smile that covered his face caused a cold feeling to grip his heart.
"At the moment? No I don't and if I find a second tap, there will no longer be any trust between us!" Ezra growled at him.
"It's in the box in the corner." Chris admitted, he didn't want to lose Ezra's trust, it would be better for him to tell him where it was rather than stay silent, Ezra would take that silence as a lie.
"Get rid of it JD." Ezra kept his eyes on Chris' face.
JD looked at Chris for confirmation.
"Don't look at him! This is my home, my problem, you do what I ask or you can all leave!" Ezra's cold tone told them that he wouldn't take anymore from them.
"Sorry Ezra." JD mumbled as he made his way past Chris, he felt his leader's hand gently slap his back, he knew the small touch was his way of giving him the encouragement he needed to face the angry Southerner.
"I only want to help."
Ezra sighed and nodded his head, he shouldn't be taking his anger out on JD, he had never done anything wrong to him, and he never meant to harm him in any way. "I'm sorry JD."
JD smiled at him then bent down and opened the box; he took the still running recorder out and turned it off.
"Disable it JD, I don't want you turning it back on when I'm not looking." He waited until JD carried out his instructions, when he knew that the recorder was no longer going to record the conversation that he was about to endure he left the room.
Ezra took the phone and sat down on the couch, he held it in his hand and waited for the first vibration that would tell him that it was about to ring. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the men surrounded him, they too waited but they weren't going to be involved in the conversation like they had hoped. The man wanted to deal with him, no one else, he wanted something and he didn't want his friends to know what that something was. Ezra jumped when the phone rang, he was too caught up in his own thoughts to be prepared.
"We're here for you Ezra." Chris reminded him.
Ezra glared at him and when Chris looked away, he opened the phone line. "What do you want?" He wanted to get right to the point.
"Lenny Hoskins is not dead." The man on the other end didn't want to beat around the bush either. He knew the undercover agent was good at his job, that's why they were doing this, the man was too good at what he did, it was the man who had been working with him that had given their cover away; he had been recognised by one of Merchant's men. He knew the Agent always had to put up a calm exterior and he was doing it now, it was a strange contrast to the man that had cried in front of his friends earlier.
"What?" Ezra whispered. He didn't think the man had heard him so he was about to say something else.
"I said he's not dead." He repeated for the Southerner's benefit. "Are you on your own?"
Ezra looked up at the group of men; they all held the same expression of confusion.
"I will be." He got up off the lounge and walked to his room, he slammed the door for a second time hoping that the anger that he showed by doing so would stop them from following him. They didn't but it didn't mean that one of them wasn't listening at the door.
________________________________________
"Vin go outside, keep an eye on Ezra's bedroom window, and stop him if he tries to leave, do anything you have to, if he thinks that we've let him go we'll never find him." Chris ordered the ex-bounty hunter. "Josiah, go and listen at the door, maybe you might be able to hear something."
"The guy on the other end knew the phone was tapped." JD told Chris after Vin and Josiah moved away from them. "He was confident about it too. He just said, 'Get rid of the phone tap'. Then Ezra put him on hold."
"Will you be able to get anything off the second tape?" Chris asked him.
"Only if I take it back to the office, the recording tape is still intact, I just don't have anything here to play it on." JD answered.
"Do it." Chris nodded to him. "Even if it's only a few words it might give us something and that would be more than Ezra's going to give us. Take my car." Chris tossed him his keys, he didn't like the idea of JD driving his car, in fact, none of them liked the thought of JD driving their cars but sometimes they just didn't have a choice.
"You want me to go with him Chris?" Buck asked him, but his eyes were on his young friend's back as he watched him leave the room, his concern was already building.
"No, JD's quite capable of doing what's required, I need you here." Chris told him.
________________________________________
Ezra sat down on his bed, he was facing the window and the late evening sunlight that drifted through and glanced off his carpet gave him a sense of false reality, it was like a dream that wasn't going to end. How many times was someone going to tell him that Lenny was still alive? He just wanted to hang up on the person who was playing a sick joke but the slight hope that he felt stopped him from going through with it. He heard the impatient breathing on the other end of the line.
"I'm alone." Ezra didn't say anymore, he no longer had control over the situation, if this man was telling him the truth then he was the one with all the control and Ezra would do anything that he asked to save the man he thought of as a brother, he'd even give this man his own life.
"Do you understand what I told you?"
"Yes but I want proof, I've already been told once today that he was alive, they made a mistake, I want to make sure that there is no doubt this time."
Ezra didn't receive an answer instead he heard Lenny's voice, he was stunned, the man did tell the truth, he slid off the bed and sat on the floor, he leaned his back against the mattress, he needed the support, he would fall over otherwise.
"Lenny?"
________________________________________
Lenny watched through pain-filled eyes as the man who had called himself Stephens paced in front of him, a wicked smile crossed the bottom half of his face but the scar on his top lip made it lopsided. Lenny knew what this man was doing to Ezra and as soon as he was physically capable, he would kill him with his own hands. He knew what his death would do to Ezra and so far his friend had gone through it twice, he was also going to kill Larabee for making such a stupid mistake, if the bad guys could do their homework then why couldn't the ATF agent. He was furious and someone was going to pay for what Ezra had suffered.
The man's brown eyes continued to watch Hoskins while he spoke to Ezra; he knew that the FBI agent was listening to the Southern voice that came through the speaker. He saw the grimace on the battered face when his friend asked for proof; he stepped towards him and placed the phone against the right side of his face.
Lenny didn't hesitate; he didn't want Ezra to suffer anymore.
"Ezra, it's me, it's Lenny, and I’m okay." He heard Ezra's whispered reply, it echoed in his ear because the equipment ran a second or two slower than the real time conversation. "Yeah Ezra it's me. I don't want you worrying about me, I'm fine. I know what you've . . .”
Stephens pulled the phone away before Hoskins was able to tell the undercover agent that his apartment had been bugged.
"You believe me now Standish?" He smiled. "Good. Listen up because I'm only going to say this once."
Lenny's anger continued to grow while the conversation unfolded, he didn't know why this man had taken him but now he was finding out.
"I want you to back off on the Merchant case, you’re to have it closed, we've already been contacted by Tanner to say that you've changed your mind but we know that as soon as you get over this that you'll come back."
"And what if my boss won't agree to that?" Ezra's voice reached Lenny's ears; he could tell that he had gained some control.
"You'll make him agree, your friend's life depends on you now." Stephens warned him. "You care too much about him to let Larabee continue with the case. You'll do anything to keep him alive." He smiled down at Lenny.
"If that's what you wanted why did you make it look like he was dead, you would have gotten the same result if you just threatened to kill him, you didn't have to take another man's life." Lenny recognised the anger in Ezra's voice.
"Because if I did it that way, you might have included Larabee, asked for his help, things would have gone wrong. You see, Larabee doesn't care about Hoskins, he wouldn't give a shit if his life was under threat, he would have tried to convince you that they would help, that they'd find Hoskins and if you didn't allow them to help they would have done it without your knowledge. But by making you know what it would feel like to lose him, I've put you in the position where you would do anything and I mean anything so you won't have to go through that again and knowing that Lenny's alive, you'd want to keep him that way." Stephens heard the hesitation. "I'm right aren't I?"
"Yes." Ezra answered him. "But I'm going to have to give him a reason."
"So give him one, but don't tell them that Hoskins is still alive." He turned his back on Lenny. "As far as they're concerned he's still dead."
Stephens didn't get an answer but he didn't care, he had Standish where he wanted him, the man would do whatever it took to stop his friend from dying a third time.
"I myself am also going to need proof that the case is closed and that it won't be reopened again." Stephens stated.
"And how am I supposed to do that? I can get the case closed but it would be a lot harder to keep it that way." Ezra growled at him.
Lenny smiled, Ezra was becoming his old self, he felt a relief fill him; it had nearly destroyed him when he heard Ezra cry over his death. He had been devastated, but then to be told that he was alive only to find out that it was a mistake, Ezra's reaction had tore through his own heart.
"You'll think of something, you’re a smart man Standish." Stephens moved towards the table that held the surveillance equipment. "Give me your mobile number," he wrote down a set of numbers, "I'll give you twelve hours then I'll call you on your mobile. I tell you where you can leave the proof, if I'm satisfied then I'll contact you a second time and let you know where Hoskins is."
"No, I'll swap the proof for Lenny. You said it yourself, I'm not stupid, and I know you'll kill him after you get what you want." Ezra argued.
"Fine, if that's what you want, I'll call you in twelve hours with directions." He didn't give Ezra a chance to answer, he hung up the phone.
Lenny saw the anger in the man's eyes.
"He's good at what he does, isn't he?" He walked towards Lenny. "Pity that your real death is going to destroy him, but he won't suffer long, he'll die soon after you do. I mean the only real way to make sure that they leave Merchant alone is to kill the ATF's best undercover agent."
Lenny was too shocked to speak, Ezra was going to walk straight into a trap and there was nothing he could do, he could only hope that Ezra wasn't going to be too stubborn to stop his friends from helping him, but if they did this man would know everything that they planned on doing. He had bugged Ezra's home so he could follow his friend's reaction to his death and through doing this; he had learned that Ezra would do anything to help him. The man was going to get the case closed, the ATF would leave Merchant alone and Ezra was going to die.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
Master Fan Fiction List
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language, violence and drug use.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest.
Summary: When Ezra is informed of the death of a friend, he finds out that there is an ulterior motive behind it.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Notes: This story takes place two months after 'The Betrayal' and refers to that story. Lenny Hoskins is my creation.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 37,801
Ezra could feel the pain coming back; the hurt emanated from his chest, his confused mind couldn't find a cause. He tried to push the fog from his brain so he could think; it lifted but did not completely clear itself from his mind. He didn't remember being injured in any way, he frowned in confusion then a familiar voice filled his mind and its sound brought the terrifying nightmare back. Lenny was dead. 'Lenny's dead. Lenny's dead. Lenny's dead.' He kept repeating the words over and over. He didn't want to believe it but he remembered the phone call he had taken that morning, but he didn't remember much after that. He wasn't even sure where he was. The voice called to him again. It was Chris. He ignored him. He wanted to stay in the darkness where the living nightmare didn't exist.
"Come on Ezra." Chris had seen the frown that was followed by the body movement, which indicated that the sleeping man was now waking, he was returning to them.
Ezra rolled away from the voice, he couldn't wake up, and he didn't want to live through Lenny's death. How was he going to cope without his only real friend? Yes, the others were his friends but they weren't like Lenny, no one was like Lenny. The man was his support through a troubled adult life that wasn't much different or better than his childhood.
"Ezra!" Chris took his shoulder and began to shake the Southerner. "We need to talk Ezra."
"We don't need to do anything."
"It's about Lenny." He felt Ezra tense up under his grip. "He might not be dead Ezra."
Did he hear him correctly, he wasn't sure, maybe it was a dream after all but he didn't want to find out, if it was a dream then reality would soon take control and admit the truth, that his long time friend was dead. He opened his eyes anyway and lifted his head to look over his shoulder to make sure the face that was looking at him was serious.
"What?"
"Lenny may not be dead. In fact we're pretty sure he isn't." Chris assured him.
"We?"
"We've been talking to Agent Thompson, he's been very helpful." Chris stood up. "Now get up and come out to the lounge room and we'll tell you everything we know."
Ezra just continued to look at him, the confusion he was feeling showed on his face and in his eyes. Lenny wasn't dead.
"Not dead?"
Chris sat down again but this time on the bed, he grabbed Ezra's exposed shoulder again and turned him onto his back.
"No."
"No?"
"Are you okay Ezra?" Chris was worried. He didn't seem to comprehend what he was being told.
"What?"
"Hold on a sec, I'll get Nathan." He was even more concerned when Ezra didn't respond to what he'd said.
Ezra didn't care, he rolled back over and closed his eyes, someone was playing a cruel joke, and he was told that morning that Lenny was dead now he was being told that he wasn't. He wanted the darkness back; maybe Nathan would give him some more of those pills. He felt the bed shift then someone's hands pulled him onto his back, he struggled against them. His right eyelid was forced open and he tried to swipe at the offending force but someone grabbed his hand and held it down against the bed.
"He's still a bit groggy Chris. He just needs some time to wake up." Nathan informed him.
Ezra managed to push Nathan away from his face, but he felt it was because he'd let him, he rolled back over but all that went through his confused mind was Lenny, first dead than alive. What were they doing to him? Were they paying him back for everything that he had done wrong since joining the team? Was it a way for them to get rid of him? No, it wasn't the guys that were doing this. A thought struck him, the phone call he'd taken that morning, the guy had asked if he'd been told yet and that he would call back later, maybe he did and he told Chris that Lenny wasn't dead.
"Is he really alive?" Ezra asked.
"We're pretty sure Ezra." Chris told him. "We'll give you some time to wake up then come back."
"Don't leave me alone." Ezra told them, he didn't know why he opened up to them, he had decided to push them away, they couldn't help him but at the moment he didn't want to be alone, his was afraid of his thoughts, he needed someone to be there with him.
"I won't leave Ezra, just get some rest, I'll be here." Chris sat back down in the chair and smiled towards Nathan.
"I'll go and put some coffee on." Nathan took one last look at Ezra then left.
An hour later Ezra was sitting on the long lounge with Chris on one side of him and Josiah on the other. The older man kept touching him to show his concern and Ezra cringed each time he did, he'd finally told him to stop, he couldn't handle the amount of concern they were showing him. It felt more like pity than anything else and he didn't want it, especially if Lenny wasn't dead. He leaned forward and put his empty cup on the coffee table but it soon disappeared when JD took it and returned it to the kitchen, Ezra grimaced at him.
He continued to listen as they repeated the information that Thompson had passed on to them, his listened with rapped attention until the prosthesis was mentioned, his head turned towards Chris as the words spilled out of his leader's mouth. His cold stare caused Chris to stop what he was saying.
"Ezra what's wrong?" Chris looked at the emotion that filled Ezra's eyes; it was a mixture of anger and loss.
"You lied to me." Ezra kept his voice low.
"What do you mean?" Chris voiced his confusion.
"You told me he wasn't dead, you lied to me. Are you playing some sort of sick joke?"
"What are you talking about Ezra?" Josiah spoke from the other side.
Ezra stood up and walked away from them, Chris followed him.
"Lenny had a second prosthesis put into his elbow four years ago, if you or Thompson had gone to the trouble of checking further you'd know that but instead you had to make me think he was alive when he wasn't!" Ezra backed away as Chris came closer. His back hit the wall and he allowed himself to slide to the floor.
"You made me think he was alive."
"I'm sorry Ezra, I didn't know, your right we should have checked." Chris knelt down in front of him.
"You made me think he was alive." Ezra repeated, his voice was barely a whisper. "Why did you do that?"
"We thought that he was alive Ezra, we didn't know about the prosthesis, neither did Thompson and he was also a close friend of Lenny's." Chris told him.
Ezra drew his legs up and placed his head on his knees to hide the tears. His hope had been shattered, his healing heart was torn open again, he couldn't deal with this, he began to convulse as the emotions poured out. He felt someone's hands take him and draw him close to them, he didn't fight them, he couldn't control the feelings that he had held onto with a strong grip any longer.
"I'm sorry Ezra." Chris could see the emotions take control of the Southerner, he reached out and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. He felt awkward but Ezra needed a friend, he needed to be comforted and most of all he needed to mourn for his murdered friend and he wouldn't let him do it alone.
Ezra felt the embrace strengthen, as he was pulled closer to a comforting force. Everything his mother taught him told him to pull away, to push his emotions to the back of his mind and gain control of himself but his heart told him what Lenny had tried to teach him, he needed to let these types of emotions out or they could destroy him. The thought of Lenny brought new tears to his eyes.
"Ezra there's something else, but we'll talk about it when you’re ready." Chris spoke into the shaking man's ear.
Ezra took a few minutes to gain control of himself, he was beginning to feel embarrassed, he'd never acted like this in front of other people, only Lenny and it had only been the once when things had become too much for him after the rumours had started. He pushed himself away and began to wipe his moist eyes.
Chris allowed Ezra to move away from him but he stayed close, he berated himself for speaking, his voice had ended Ezra's much needed emotional outburst, now he was going to lock it away again.
"What is it this time?" Ezra asked, he didn't hide his sarcasm. "Lenny had a twin brother and it was he who died and not Lenny!"
"Ezra we're trying to help, we made a mistake, don't push us away because of it." Josiah moved towards him.
Ezra turned away from them and leaned against the wall. "What else is there?"
Chris looked over his shoulder at the others, Buck hadn't returned yet. Josiah nodded at him to continue.
"Someone phoned earlier, he wanted to talk to you, and he claimed to be the person who killed Lenny." Chris was surprised by the look on Ezra's face when his head quickly turned to face him.
"Someone told you he killed Lenny and you still thought that he was alive. Are you stupid! Jesus, what are you trying to do to me?" Ezra growled at him. "Wasn't that enough evidence for you to know that he was dead, you still had to tell me otherwise?" He looked around the room at the other men. "Oh I know what it is, you’re getting back at me for what happened before, and you’re trying to make me suffer because of what I did when I went undercover."
"Ezra that's not true!" Chris told him. "You know none of that was your fault, we were the ones that made the mistake."
"Isn't it?" Ezra pushed himself up and used the wall for support. "You never liked him, you hated him, you’re probably glad he's dead!"
"Ezra, none of us liked Lenny, we admit that but he was your friend, were not glad he's dead, we knew what he meant to you, if we could bring him back for you we would. We know your suffering, we don't want to make it any harder for you, and we just want to help you." Josiah told him as he stood next to him.
"He was the only real friend that I've ever had Josiah." He felt the tears fill his eyes again and he struggled to stop them from falling but he couldn't, he felt the dampness run down his cheeks.
"I know Ezra, I know." This time Josiah took the Southerner into his arms and held onto him.
The only noise that could be heard was Ezra's tears as he cried for his friend, no one dared speak for fear of stopping him again. When Ezra began to become quiet Josiah led the smaller man back to the couch, he gently forced him to sit down, he took the tissue that Nathan handed to him and gave it to Ezra.
"I'm sorry." Ezra whispered.
"That's okay Ezra, you need to cry, you lost a good friend, you can't keep what you’re feeling inside, and you have to let it out." Josiah put his arm around him and gave him a comforting hug.
Ezra nodded and leaned back into the couch. "This man that phoned, did he say anything about me being told about something?"
"He said that because we were here that you must have been told about Lenny." Chris walked to the couch and sat down next to Ezra. "Has he already contacted you?"
"That prank that I mentioned, someone called me at about eight forty five this morning, didn't give his name, he said," Ezra's brow wrinkled in concentration, "I take it you haven't been told yet and that he'd call me back later."
"It would have to be the same guy." Chris agreed.
"What else did he say?" Ezra turned his damp eyes to Chris.
"That he only wanted to talk to you, said he call back tonight." Chris told him. "Thompson is faxing through information on the case that Lenny worked on to the office, that's where Buck is."
"But you don't think that has anything to do with it, you think this guy is after me, that's why he's calling me." Ezra stated. "Lenny died because someone wanted to get to me."
'Shit!' Chris thought to himself. "This isn't your fault Ezra. You can't blame yourself for his death. Please don't do that!"
Ezra looked down at his hands; they were tearing the tissue apart, just like his heart was being torn apart. This is why his mother always told him not to get close to people, that they could be used against him. Why didn't he listen, why did he ever let Lenny in, now Lenny had paid the cost of being his friend? Of course, it was his fault that his friend, the man that he thought of as a brother was dead; the guilt belonged to him and the man that killed Lenny.
"Ezra?"
"What?"
"Don't blame yourself!" Chris growled at him.
"How long are you going to stay here?" Ezra ignored Chris' order.
"For as long as it takes to catch this guy, and then longer if you need someone to stay, you won't have a choice in the matter Ezra, we're not going to leave you alone." Chris told him.
"Fucking great!" Ezra pushed himself off the couch and headed to his room, the door slammed behind him.
Chris followed him but this time the door was gently closed, he felt no anger towards Ezra, he knew what he was going through. He looked at the form that was curled up on its side on the bed, he moved forward and sat on the bed and faced Ezra.
"Go away and leave me alone!"
"I'm not going to do that Ezra." Chris told him.
"I'm fine!" Ezra argued with him.
"No you’re not." Chris reached his arm out to him but Ezra violently pushed it away. "Ezra, I understand, I know what you’re going through."
Ezra looked up at him from his position on the bed, he curled himself up even tighter trying to protect himself from any more hurt but it still managed to find its way into his soul. "Then you also know that I need to be alone."
"Yes I do Ezra but not now, I also know you, and you’ll probably be out that window before I even leave the room." Chris tried to smile to make Ezra feel at ease but he only managed a weak smile that hardly showed itself on his face.
"What if I give you my word that I won't leave?" Ezra's eyes did his pleading for him.
"Okay, promise me that you won't leave." Chris stood up.
"I give you my word Chris."
"That's good enough for me Ezra." He walked away and gripped the door handle. "I'll come and get you when Buck gets back." He sighed when Ezra shut him out, his face was buried in his pillow and he could see that his body was already beginning to shake.
Chris opened the door and left the room, he quietly closed the barrier behind him and the sound of Ezra's torment ended abruptly, he stood by the door for a few minutes then turned back to the men who were watching him, and he walked to the couch and sat down. Chris took the cup of coffee that JD offered him. He lifted it to his mouth but stopped, he watched as the steam floated up and touch his face with its moisture, it gave him a feeling of sadness, the dampness on his face reminded him of the tears that had fallen from his own eyes and the trails of mourning that were now lining Ezra's features. God he hated this shit, he wanted to do something to take the pain from Ezra's heart and his own.
"You want me to go and sit with him?" Josiah asked Chris but he seemed to be distracted, he nudged him with his finger then repeated his question.
"He wants and needs some time alone." Chris looked down into his coffee, distance memories began to repeat in his mind, everything was coming back to him and he didn't want it, not now, Ezra needed him, he wasn't going to be able to help him if he became emotional. The remembrance of those first days after he had been told about his wife and son's murder forced its way through his defences. He hadn't been able to cope, Buck had been there for him but he refused his help and took refuge in a bottle instead. He was going to make sure that Ezra wouldn’t make the same mistake that he did, even if he didn't accept their help they were going to force him to take it but what about himself. After this was over he was going to have to talk to someone, he was going to have to deal with the feelings that this had brought back, and he couldn't just push them away again.
Maybe Josiah was right, he should use these feelings to help himself as well as Ezra, he could talk to the Southerner, it seemed like they were now soul mates when it came to feeling the loss of a loved one. Chris' loss had been family, but Ezra's was more, he had lost an important friendship. Lenny was the only thing in his life that was good to him, Chris was hoping that they could give Ezra the same thing that he had with Lenny but it was going to take a long time for him to fully trust them the same way that he'd trusted Lenny. The trust he'd had with the agent allowed him to share his emotions, his fears, his dreams and his heart. He had never done that with another person, Lenny had been everything to Ezra and more.
"Thought you weren't going to leave him alone." Vin spoke from one of the chairs that adorned the large living space.
"He gave me his word that he wouldn't leave; besides I know he won't try and leave until after he talks to this guy, he'd be running blind if he left now." Chris explained, he was grateful for the interruption that Vin's voice brought, he pushed his memories and feelings aside, he would deal with them later.
"You sure about that?" Vin asked him, it had been Chris who said that Ezra would try to leave and now he was leaving him on his own.
"Of course I'm sure! I know how he's thinking, I went through it myself remember!" Chris' harshness surprised everyone but Josiah.
"I know." Vin answered quietly.
Chris wanted to apologise but he didn't, Vin was questioning him and the way he was dealing with this, he didn't have the right to do that, no one did, he knew what Ezra was feeling and thinking. The shock had finally left Ezra but was replaced with a feeling of total loss, his emotions had taken control, the anger would come next, he would be angry at everything and everyone. And it was at this time that he was going to need them the most, they had to stay close to him and not allow him to push them away.
All five men tensed up when they heard the front door, Buck called out to them so they wouldn't shoot him when he physically appeared in front of them. He walked towards the couch with a thick folder, he dropped it on the table that was cantered in the middle of the room, some of the facsimiles slipped out and the words looked up at the men who now surrounded it. Buck went to help himself to coffee; he needed it after reading through what Thompson had faxed to him. Chris and the others waited patiently for him, they could tell by his features that the news wasn't going to be good.
Buck returned to the lounge room and sat down next to Chris, he saw the same look that had been a constant companion after his wife and son had died, the haunted appearance had returned.
"How's Ezra? How did he take the news?" He glanced around at the solemn faces that looked back at him.
"What's wrong?"
"We told Ezra." Chris spoke for the rest of them who were still feeling awkward about Ezra's show of emotions, none of them had seen the Southerner in that sort of state before, even when they had spent the two weeks up at Chris' cabin with Ezra and Lenny, and they had seen plenty of anger but never tears. "And he told us that Lenny had prosthesis four years ago so it must have been Lenny in that car. It sounds more like they were trying to hide the corpse's identity and didn't know about the pin in his elbow."
"Aw hell." Buck muttered.
"Ezra didn't take it as well as you Buck, he was pretty angry, thought we were telling him this just to get back at him for what happened before." Chris turned his eyes back to his coffee, he had seen the recognition in Buck's eyes, and his long time friend could see what he was going through. He waved his hand through the air as if to elaborate what he was saying but knew he had to say more. "The Collins situation thinks we're glad that Lenny's dead. So everyone is going to have to be careful what they say to him."
Buck nodded and looked around the room, they were all silent, no one knew what to say to each other or to Ezra, he was afraid the silence that was going to meet the Southerner would be taken the wrong way.
"Did you read any of this stuff as it came through?" Chris asked him after he picked up the folder and began to look through it, each interruption that stopped his thoughts didn't last, and it was as though it was someone's intention to make him suffer along side of Ezra.
"Yeah and you'd never guess who's name kept coming up." Buck grimaced but didn't give anyone a chance to come up with a name; he knew they weren't in the mood for games. "George Merchant."
"Merchant?" Chris was surprised.
"Merchant." Buck echoed.
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Ezra stood on the other side of the door, he wiped at his face and felt the moisture on the back of his hand, he listened to the muffled voices that came from the lounge room, and he made out some of the words but not enough to know what they were talking about. He didn't want to go out there and face them after what he'd done, he felt so vulnerable, his face was an open book, they could read his features in much the same way as they were able to read a book, his expressions gave them a story just like the written words in a novel. Ezra had never shown anyone other than Lenny that side of himself and now these men had seen it. He could picture the expressions that would be on the six men's faces and he dreaded it, they would feel awkward, they won't know what to say to him but he was feeling the same way, he didn't know what to do in return.
He made sure that his face was dry and after taking a deep breath, he opened the door and faced the men that were not going to leave him alone. In one way, he was grateful knowing that he didn't have to deal with this on his own but they were also going to try to stop him from going after the man who had killed Lenny. His emotions lurched and threatened to take control of his heart once more at the thought of his friend's death, he fought to gain control, it was a struggle but he managed to do it before he faced the men who had taken up a permanent residence in his townhouse.
He stepped into the lounge room and felt their eyes upon him but he wouldn't look at them in return, he didn't want to see the sympathy that he knew would be there, the only face that held understanding was Chris'. He saw someone get off the lounge, a space was left open for him so he could sit between the two men who had remained on it, he didn't want that, he stood next to the chair closest to his room and looked down at Josiah; the older man must have read his thoughts. When Josiah moved from his position Ezra sat down in the chair that was separated from everyone else, it was one way of stopping them from getting too close. He felt Josiah's hand on his shoulder, the gentle squeeze gave him a small amount of security, but he would only allow them to help him when he was ready. There were other things that had to be done first; the man that killed Lenny had to be caught. He shrugged Josiah's hand off; he would accept his concern at a later time.
But Josiah didn't give up; he patted Ezra's shoulder a second time just so he knew that he was still there, that the Southerner hadn't managed to push him away. He didn't move away from the chair either; he sat down on the arm of the large chair. He was going to stay close to his young friend. He didn't want to be too far away when Ezra did reach out for them, he wasn't going to be able to keep them away on a permanent basis; a time was going to come when he wouldn't be able to take it anymore, the emotions would be too much for him and he would break down. He couldn't and shouldn't be alone when that finally did happen.
Ezra saw someone coming towards him and he instantly put his wall in front of him so whoever it was couldn't get through to him, he didn't want them to see what he was feeling. The figure knelt down in front of him, he lifted his eyes and expected to see Chris but instead it was Buck. He felt the man's hands on his knees, he wanted to kick out at him to force him to remove them, and he knew he should use his voice instead but he couldn't be bothered, the use of his legs would be less of an effort on his part.
"Ezra." Buck looked up into the tortured green eyes and saw the same thing that he had seen in Chris' eyes five years ago but that look had also returned to his friend. He was torn between Ezra and Chris, he wanted to help both of them, he forced himself to concentrate on Ezra, his emotional wounds were fresh, and he was hurting more than Chris. "I'm sorry about Lenny. I want you to know that we're here for you, you may not want us here at the moment but when you’re ready we'll be here . . . we're going to do everything we can to catch this guy Ezra. You’re not going to do it your own." Buck could see the anger building in Ezra's eyes but he didn't realise that the anger was aimed at him so he continued.
Chris had known that Buck would want to talk to Ezra, to explain to him that he wasn't going to be alone. He had heard the same speech when he had woken up in a hospital, the forced admittance had resulted from a drunken stupor that had lasted three days, and it nearly resulted in the welcoming death that he had secretly sought out. But this time it wasn't going the same way, he had been angry when Buck spoke to him but the anger had been aimed at himself and the people that had killed his family. He could see that Ezra's anger was building but something told him that it was aimed directly at Buck; he had no idea why but thought that the best thing to do would be to stop Buck and remove him from Ezra's line of sight but he didn't act quickly enough.
"Why would you be here for me?" Ezra growled down at him. "Why would you even want to catch this guy?"
"Ezra I . . . " Buck slowly stood up and backed away from Ezra. He knew and understood what the Southerner was capable of doing if you pushed him too far and he knew he had; he could see the same anger in his eyes that was evident when he kicked Chris when he had tried to explain his reasons for treating Ezra the way he did.
"You got what you wanted. I'm hurting just like Chris was and is still hurting. That's what you wanted isn't it?" Ezra's voice was becoming louder; it began to rise to catch up with the level of anger that was now near breaking point.
"You know that's not what I want." Buck spoke calmly; Ezra didn't need any more aggravation.
"Yes you do!" Ezra yelled at him as he angrily pushed himself up into a standing position, he could no longer control the anger that had begun to fill his soul, he needed to get rid of it and Buck was the perfect target and he wasn't going to feel any guilt over it. "That's what you told me! You wanted to hurt me, now I'm hurting. Does that make you happy that you've gotten what you wanted?"
Buck hung his head, Ezra was right, that was what he had wanted. "I don't want that anymore Ezra, I don't like seeing you hurt like this, and you don't deserve it."
"But Lenny does is that it?" Ezra advanced on him, but he felt large hands grab his arms and pull him back, he struggled against the person who was holding him while his verbal assault continued. "You hated him! All of you did! None of you care that he's dead! And you least of all! You wanted to hurt me and now I'm hurting! You got what you wanted!"
"Ezra!" Josiah spoke into the struggling Southerner's ear. "It isn't Buck's fault; don't take your anger out on him."
"He wanted to hurt me Josiah." Ezra didn't look at him but continued to try to pull away from him but Josiah's determination and strength outweighed Ezra's emotionally distraught form.
"They were different circumstances Ezra, things have changed since then, you know now that Buck would never want to hurt you that way again." Josiah turned the smaller man towards him; he needed to get his full attention.
"I don't know that, the only thing I do know is that none of you care about what happened to Lenny and if you don't care about that then you don't care or understand what I'm going through." Ezra's anger left him, he no longer struggled against Josiah's grip, and he looked up into the light blue eyes that stared back at him.
"We do care Ezra; we care about what happened to Lenny because we care about you." He tried to pull Ezra towards him, he thought that he would accept the embrace because he had stopped trying to get away but Ezra violently pushed himself away from him, Josiah tired to hold on but the sound of the telephone ringing distracted him. The Southerner succeeded in removing himself from his hold.
JD quickly disappeared into the spare room where the recording equipment had been set up. Chris hadn't wanted Ezra to see that they had bugged the phone, he knew the undercover agent wasn't stupid but his emotions would be clouding his judgement, he might not think about it soon enough to stop the call from being recorded.
"You don't have to talk to him Ezra." Josiah stood even closer to his friend, he was hoping to protect him from what the phone call would do to him, and he was already in a bad way and didn't want anything to add to his suffering.
Ezra ignored him and stepped towards the phone, he glanced over his shoulder and saw Chris, the man nodded in understanding. The Southerner turned back to the cordless phone and reached out a shaking hand, he gripped the receiver tightly in his hand and lifted it to his ear.
"Standish." He kept control of his voice; the person on the other side wasn't going to be in control of this conversation.
"Get rid of the phone tap." Was the only statement.
Ezra frowned in confusion, then it hit him, how could he have been so stupid, of course they would have the phone tapped, he turned his angry expression towards Chris.
"You put a tap on the phone, take it off." Ezra saw the hesitation in Chris' body language. He put his palm over the mouthpiece. "Get rid of it!"
"No." Chris needed to make it look good, if he got rid of the first tap so easily then Ezra would suspect that they had a backup.
He turned back to the phone. "Can you give me a minute?"
"Sure, as long as there isn't a trace on the phone." But the man knew that there wasn't, a small laugh followed his words, he was enjoying himself and this made Ezra even angrier.
The Southerner put the man on hold, Lenny was already dead, there wasn't anything else this man could do to his friend, he smiled then turned towards the group of men, he noticed that JD was no longer in the room. He knew that his words weren't going to convince them to take the tap off the phone so he had to do something else. He walked towards his room; he knew they would follow him so he moved quickly. He saw his gun lying on the bedside table, he moved towards it and before anyone knew what he was doing, he had the gun in his hand. He turned around to find Chris standing in front of him so he continued to ignore him. He pushed passed the man he had thought understood what he was going through; it had obviously been an act.
"Ezra what the hell are you doing?" Chris asked him, he would have restrained him but couldn't risk the gun going off and causing someone an injury.
"You won't get rid of it so I am." Ezra growled at him as he made his way to the spare room, it was the only place that JD could have gone.
Ezra opened the door to find JD sitting in front of makeshift table, a recorder sat on top of it, the wheels that held the tape were turning, and his conversation was being recorded. He grimaced at the head phones that sat against JD's ears, the young man hadn't heard him come in. Ezra raised the gun and fired a single bullet into the recorder. JD practically fell from his seat when Ezra moved forward, put the phone on the table and tore the headphones off JD's head and threw them across the room. They broke when they hit the wall, much like his alarm clocks did, and he then picked the phone back up and grabbed a handful of the shocked young man's shirt and dragged him out of the room. Ezra didn't even realise that no one had really tried to stop him, he was too angry to think.
He took the caller off hold and spoke into the phone. "It's gone."
"There's a second one." Ezra thought that he heard admiration in the tone. "I'll call back in five minutes; you’re going to need more time to get rid of it." The conversation ended.
Chris watched Ezra carefully; he could see the controlled anger that filled him. He knew that he wouldn't hurt JD, but he was ready just in case he lost control. He could feel Buck tense up beside him and was grateful that he didn't move towards the Southerner, if he had it may have caused damage to the trust that had built up between them since they had come back from the cabin two months ago, damage that they would not be able to repair. He saw Ezra put the phone down, the conversation couldn't have been over that quickly, he was about to say something when Ezra headed back to the spare room, he followed him into the room and found him searching through the boxes.
"What are you doing Ezra?" But he knew, his undercover agent had worked out that there was a second tap, therefore more recording equipment. He looked sideways at JD who nodded to one of the boxes in the corner of the room; it would only be a matter of minutes before Ezra found it. He had to think of something quick, he moved forward.
"Ezra! I asked you what you’re doing." Chris grabbed him and spun him around.
Ezra pushed him away. "You know what I'm doing so you can stop playing your stupid games!"
The undercover agent continued to search for the second tap; he had to find it before the guy called back. He knew the man wanted something from him, otherwise he wouldn't care who was listening in on the call.
"Ezra, do you trust me?" Chris asked him, his words stopped the Southerner and the smile that covered his face caused a cold feeling to grip his heart.
"At the moment? No I don't and if I find a second tap, there will no longer be any trust between us!" Ezra growled at him.
"It's in the box in the corner." Chris admitted, he didn't want to lose Ezra's trust, it would be better for him to tell him where it was rather than stay silent, Ezra would take that silence as a lie.
"Get rid of it JD." Ezra kept his eyes on Chris' face.
JD looked at Chris for confirmation.
"Don't look at him! This is my home, my problem, you do what I ask or you can all leave!" Ezra's cold tone told them that he wouldn't take anymore from them.
"Sorry Ezra." JD mumbled as he made his way past Chris, he felt his leader's hand gently slap his back, he knew the small touch was his way of giving him the encouragement he needed to face the angry Southerner.
"I only want to help."
Ezra sighed and nodded his head, he shouldn't be taking his anger out on JD, he had never done anything wrong to him, and he never meant to harm him in any way. "I'm sorry JD."
JD smiled at him then bent down and opened the box; he took the still running recorder out and turned it off.
"Disable it JD, I don't want you turning it back on when I'm not looking." He waited until JD carried out his instructions, when he knew that the recorder was no longer going to record the conversation that he was about to endure he left the room.
Ezra took the phone and sat down on the couch, he held it in his hand and waited for the first vibration that would tell him that it was about to ring. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the men surrounded him, they too waited but they weren't going to be involved in the conversation like they had hoped. The man wanted to deal with him, no one else, he wanted something and he didn't want his friends to know what that something was. Ezra jumped when the phone rang, he was too caught up in his own thoughts to be prepared.
"We're here for you Ezra." Chris reminded him.
Ezra glared at him and when Chris looked away, he opened the phone line. "What do you want?" He wanted to get right to the point.
"Lenny Hoskins is not dead." The man on the other end didn't want to beat around the bush either. He knew the undercover agent was good at his job, that's why they were doing this, the man was too good at what he did, it was the man who had been working with him that had given their cover away; he had been recognised by one of Merchant's men. He knew the Agent always had to put up a calm exterior and he was doing it now, it was a strange contrast to the man that had cried in front of his friends earlier.
"What?" Ezra whispered. He didn't think the man had heard him so he was about to say something else.
"I said he's not dead." He repeated for the Southerner's benefit. "Are you on your own?"
Ezra looked up at the group of men; they all held the same expression of confusion.
"I will be." He got up off the lounge and walked to his room, he slammed the door for a second time hoping that the anger that he showed by doing so would stop them from following him. They didn't but it didn't mean that one of them wasn't listening at the door.
________________________________________
"Vin go outside, keep an eye on Ezra's bedroom window, and stop him if he tries to leave, do anything you have to, if he thinks that we've let him go we'll never find him." Chris ordered the ex-bounty hunter. "Josiah, go and listen at the door, maybe you might be able to hear something."
"The guy on the other end knew the phone was tapped." JD told Chris after Vin and Josiah moved away from them. "He was confident about it too. He just said, 'Get rid of the phone tap'. Then Ezra put him on hold."
"Will you be able to get anything off the second tape?" Chris asked him.
"Only if I take it back to the office, the recording tape is still intact, I just don't have anything here to play it on." JD answered.
"Do it." Chris nodded to him. "Even if it's only a few words it might give us something and that would be more than Ezra's going to give us. Take my car." Chris tossed him his keys, he didn't like the idea of JD driving his car, in fact, none of them liked the thought of JD driving their cars but sometimes they just didn't have a choice.
"You want me to go with him Chris?" Buck asked him, but his eyes were on his young friend's back as he watched him leave the room, his concern was already building.
"No, JD's quite capable of doing what's required, I need you here." Chris told him.
________________________________________
Ezra sat down on his bed, he was facing the window and the late evening sunlight that drifted through and glanced off his carpet gave him a sense of false reality, it was like a dream that wasn't going to end. How many times was someone going to tell him that Lenny was still alive? He just wanted to hang up on the person who was playing a sick joke but the slight hope that he felt stopped him from going through with it. He heard the impatient breathing on the other end of the line.
"I'm alone." Ezra didn't say anymore, he no longer had control over the situation, if this man was telling him the truth then he was the one with all the control and Ezra would do anything that he asked to save the man he thought of as a brother, he'd even give this man his own life.
"Do you understand what I told you?"
"Yes but I want proof, I've already been told once today that he was alive, they made a mistake, I want to make sure that there is no doubt this time."
Ezra didn't receive an answer instead he heard Lenny's voice, he was stunned, the man did tell the truth, he slid off the bed and sat on the floor, he leaned his back against the mattress, he needed the support, he would fall over otherwise.
"Lenny?"
________________________________________
Lenny watched through pain-filled eyes as the man who had called himself Stephens paced in front of him, a wicked smile crossed the bottom half of his face but the scar on his top lip made it lopsided. Lenny knew what this man was doing to Ezra and as soon as he was physically capable, he would kill him with his own hands. He knew what his death would do to Ezra and so far his friend had gone through it twice, he was also going to kill Larabee for making such a stupid mistake, if the bad guys could do their homework then why couldn't the ATF agent. He was furious and someone was going to pay for what Ezra had suffered.
The man's brown eyes continued to watch Hoskins while he spoke to Ezra; he knew that the FBI agent was listening to the Southern voice that came through the speaker. He saw the grimace on the battered face when his friend asked for proof; he stepped towards him and placed the phone against the right side of his face.
Lenny didn't hesitate; he didn't want Ezra to suffer anymore.
"Ezra, it's me, it's Lenny, and I’m okay." He heard Ezra's whispered reply, it echoed in his ear because the equipment ran a second or two slower than the real time conversation. "Yeah Ezra it's me. I don't want you worrying about me, I'm fine. I know what you've . . .”
Stephens pulled the phone away before Hoskins was able to tell the undercover agent that his apartment had been bugged.
"You believe me now Standish?" He smiled. "Good. Listen up because I'm only going to say this once."
Lenny's anger continued to grow while the conversation unfolded, he didn't know why this man had taken him but now he was finding out.
"I want you to back off on the Merchant case, you’re to have it closed, we've already been contacted by Tanner to say that you've changed your mind but we know that as soon as you get over this that you'll come back."
"And what if my boss won't agree to that?" Ezra's voice reached Lenny's ears; he could tell that he had gained some control.
"You'll make him agree, your friend's life depends on you now." Stephens warned him. "You care too much about him to let Larabee continue with the case. You'll do anything to keep him alive." He smiled down at Lenny.
"If that's what you wanted why did you make it look like he was dead, you would have gotten the same result if you just threatened to kill him, you didn't have to take another man's life." Lenny recognised the anger in Ezra's voice.
"Because if I did it that way, you might have included Larabee, asked for his help, things would have gone wrong. You see, Larabee doesn't care about Hoskins, he wouldn't give a shit if his life was under threat, he would have tried to convince you that they would help, that they'd find Hoskins and if you didn't allow them to help they would have done it without your knowledge. But by making you know what it would feel like to lose him, I've put you in the position where you would do anything and I mean anything so you won't have to go through that again and knowing that Lenny's alive, you'd want to keep him that way." Stephens heard the hesitation. "I'm right aren't I?"
"Yes." Ezra answered him. "But I'm going to have to give him a reason."
"So give him one, but don't tell them that Hoskins is still alive." He turned his back on Lenny. "As far as they're concerned he's still dead."
Stephens didn't get an answer but he didn't care, he had Standish where he wanted him, the man would do whatever it took to stop his friend from dying a third time.
"I myself am also going to need proof that the case is closed and that it won't be reopened again." Stephens stated.
"And how am I supposed to do that? I can get the case closed but it would be a lot harder to keep it that way." Ezra growled at him.
Lenny smiled, Ezra was becoming his old self, he felt a relief fill him; it had nearly destroyed him when he heard Ezra cry over his death. He had been devastated, but then to be told that he was alive only to find out that it was a mistake, Ezra's reaction had tore through his own heart.
"You'll think of something, you’re a smart man Standish." Stephens moved towards the table that held the surveillance equipment. "Give me your mobile number," he wrote down a set of numbers, "I'll give you twelve hours then I'll call you on your mobile. I tell you where you can leave the proof, if I'm satisfied then I'll contact you a second time and let you know where Hoskins is."
"No, I'll swap the proof for Lenny. You said it yourself, I'm not stupid, and I know you'll kill him after you get what you want." Ezra argued.
"Fine, if that's what you want, I'll call you in twelve hours with directions." He didn't give Ezra a chance to answer, he hung up the phone.
Lenny saw the anger in the man's eyes.
"He's good at what he does, isn't he?" He walked towards Lenny. "Pity that your real death is going to destroy him, but he won't suffer long, he'll die soon after you do. I mean the only real way to make sure that they leave Merchant alone is to kill the ATF's best undercover agent."
Lenny was too shocked to speak, Ezra was going to walk straight into a trap and there was nothing he could do, he could only hope that Ezra wasn't going to be too stubborn to stop his friends from helping him, but if they did this man would know everything that they planned on doing. He had bugged Ezra's home so he could follow his friend's reaction to his death and through doing this; he had learned that Ezra would do anything to help him. The man was going to get the case closed, the ATF would leave Merchant alone and Ezra was going to die.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
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