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azombiewritesTitle: Wrongfully Accused
Eighteenth story in 'The Continuing Ezra Standish Saga'
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bad writing ahead!
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Ezra is wrongfully accused of murder and the victim's family want to see him hang, even if they have to do it themselves.
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest of the seven.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Beta: Not betaed – written in the early days when I didn’t know what the words grammar and edit meant. *is ashamed but no longer care*
Notes: Eighteenth story in the ‘Continuing Ezra Standish Saga’.
Spoilers: None.
Total Word Count: 24,711
The loud terrified scream broke through the silence of the early hours of the morning, causing Buck and Chris to jump out of their bedrolls, they knew what caused the scream. Ezra was having another nightmare. They rushed to his side with Chris getting to him first, he practically fell to his knees at the gambler's side and picked his upper body up and drew him into his embrace.
"It's okay Ezra, it's just another dream. It's okay." Chris began to stroke the back of Ezra's head with one hand while he held onto him with the other.
"Why . . . won't they . . . stop." Ezra gasped.
"They will Ezra, they will." Chris silently prayed, he knew there was a good chance that they wouldn't, they may just slow down like his own nightmares had. He still dreamt of his family’s death on occasions. Chris felt Ezra's arms wrap around his waist as he returned the embrace, he smiled slightly at the thought, two months ago the gambler would have pulled his derringer on anyone who tried to show him this sort of comfort and now Ezra not only accepted it, he returned it.
"You want to talk about it Ezra?" Buck asked him as he looked into the distraught face that pressed against Chris's shoulder. He sat down beside him and began to rub his back, he could feel Ezra's heart pounding through his rib cage against his hand and knew that Chris probably felt it against his chest.
"No." Ezra whispered, he wasn't going to talk about his father to anyone.
"You dreamt about your father didn't you Ezra?" Chris asked him.
"I told you I don't want to talk about him." Ezra tried to push away from Chris but Buck put more force onto his back, keeping the gambler where he was. Ezra pushed with more strength but gave up when he knew they weren't going to let him go. He let his hands fall to his sides, he no longer wanted to hold onto Chris.
"Please, I don't want to talk about him."
"But it's tearing you apart Ezra, you need to talk about him." Buck pleaded with him.
"No, Josiah's lack of concern is tearing me apart, these emotions that I haven't dealt with are tearing me apart, not my father. I won't let him." Ezra moved his head so he could look at Buck. "Honest Buck, he doesn't have a lot to do with the way I'm feeling. It's everything else." He closed his eyes, the long days ride causing him to feel more tired than usual. It was only a matter of seconds before he was asleep in Chris's arms.
"He's never going to let it out." Buck spoke with quiet frustration.
"Just give him a bit more time Buck." Chris told him as he laid Ezra back down onto his bedroll. "You want to get my blankets for me?"
"Sure, I'll get mine too." Buck smiled back at him.
________________________________________
Buck was the first to wake up to another warm cloudless day and he was deeply moved by the sight that was before him, he quietly stepped over Ezra's legs, he sat back down on his knees next to Chris and tapped his shoulder. He held him down as he jerked awake. Chris quickly blinked the sleep out of his eyes and looked up at the person who intruded on his sleep, the smile on Buck's face stopped him from showing him any anger.
"He looks good on you." Buck nodded towards Chris's long legs. Ezra was lying on his right side, his left arm draped over the gunslinger's shins, his head rested on his left thigh.
"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you." Chris couldn't help but smile. "You know what this means don't you?"
"Yep, you’re going to have to eat my cooking." Buck laughed as he stood up, he walked away so he didn't have to listen to Chris's protests.
________________________________________
Ezra woke to feel someone rubbing his temple. He could also feel something soft and warm under his head. He had to concentrate for a moment to remember where he was. Ezra wondered if it was Chris or Buck's thumb he could feel rubbing his face, he opened his eyes with the intention of finding out which one of his friends it was. He blinked against the bright sunlight and saw the black clad legs before him, he realised that he was lying on his Chris's legs.
"Good Lord." The embarrassment he felt was evident in his voice, it was one thing to be held but another to use someone's legs like a child would use a toy when they were sleeping.
"Morning Ezra." Buck tried to hold his laughter back but he couldn't.
Ezra threw him a foul look and Buck laughed even harder, more in relief because it was the first time he had seen that look in weeks. "If you tell anyone, I'll kill you!"
"That's exactly what I said." Chris agreed with him.
Ezra lifted his head and looked up into Chris's smiling face, he let his head fall back onto the gunslinger's leg. "Good Lord." he repeated.
"How are you feeling Ezra?" Chris asked him the same question they had been asking him every morning for the last two weeks. He continued to stroke the gambler's temple and smiled because he didn't change position, he stayed where he was, the arm still draped across his lower legs and his head still lying on his thigh.
"Extremely embarrassed." Ezra finally gave a different answer. "I suppose this means that Buck is cooking the breakfast that I can smell." He felt a slight hope that he was finally beginning to crawl out of the void that he was in.
"You got that right Ezra." Buck told him.
"I don't suppose there's any biscuits left." Ezra asked.
"Ezra there is nothing wrong my cooking." Buck protested.
"No, nothing that a different cook couldn't fix." Ezra continued to argue with him.
"I give up, not again Ezra, you or Chris can cook next time, and I’m not going through all this trouble just so you can complain about it." Buck walked away, he couldn't keep the smile off his face.
"Chris?" Ezra spoke in a soft tone.
"Yeah."
"I thought he was never going to get the hint."
________________________________________
The three men rode into Eagle Bend just before noon, the main street was crowded with locals, and they couldn't help but notice the suspicious looks that were sent their way as they rode through the town to the telegraph office. People actually stopped in the street to look them over. They tipped their hats in greeting to the townsfolk but they scurried away without returning the hired lawmen's greetings.
Two members of the larger population took particular notice of the three men, they thought the men would be easy pickings and they decided to follow them until an opportunity rose where they could relieve them of any cash and belongings they had. They hid in the shadows of a small alley and watched as the three strangers stopped in front of the telegraph office. They listened as the three men argued.
"Is there any particular reason that you don't want me to come in with you?" Ezra asked, he knew that there was nothing there for them to pick up. Chris had to arrange something with the man inside and he didn't want him there when he did it. Ezra was actually beginning to feel better. He had ridden all morning watching the area around him, whereas the day before he had no interest in it, he didn't really say a lot but he knew that something was changing inside him, it was the same as when the morning light filtered through your eyelids into your mind to wake you up from your sleep. He felt as though the light was beginning to break through into the dark void that he had been made a prisoner of. What surprised him was the fact that nothing had really happened to cause the change, it had just begun, and there was no particular reason for it. Maybe JD had been right, he just needed a change of scenery and to get away from Josiah for a while.
"No reason Ezra, just thought you might want to stay out here in the fresh air." Buck tried to think quickly but it was hard when you were up against Ezra, he was too quick for any of them.
"I would rather come in with you Buck, I don't really want to be alone at the moment." Ezra hung his head and lifted his eyes to see the two men exchange glances.
"We'll only be a few minutes Ezra." Chris assured him.
"Must be a big parcel if it is going to take the two of you to get it." Ezra muttered as he kept his head down.
"Aw hell Ezra." Buck was feeling guilty now.
"No go on Buck, I'm sure I'll be okay . . . out here . . . on my own . . . while you two are in there . . . picking up that large parcel." Ezra turned away from them, a genuine smile was beginning to form on his face, the dimples finally appearing to make his features even more handsome. He felt a hand on his shoulder and the smile dropped from his face. He lifted his eyes to look into Chris's worried gaze. "Don't worry Chris, I'm fine. You go on. I'll wait for you here."
"We'll just be a few minutes Ezra." Chris patted his shoulder and moved away, a frown covered his face, he was really beginning to think that Ezra knew the real reason for their journey.
Buck and Chris stepped into the telegraph office and up to the counter. "Can I help you gentlemen?" The young clerk asked them.
"Yes you can." Buck leaned forward and glared at the young man who stared back at him through steel-rimmed eyeglasses. "First of all we would like to send a telegram and second we want a parcel that's big and heavy."
________________________________________
"Their late, Chris said noon, where the hell is that telegram." Nathan was fuming. "If they have done anything to make Ezra feel any worse I'll . . . ."
"Don't worry Nathan, he said he'll send a telegram, just give him a bit more time." Vin tried to calm the healer down. He smiled inwardly though as he watched the larger man pace back and forth along the boardwalk. He nodded to JD who stood on the other side. JD smiled back at him, he was also enjoying the sight, it helped break the tension they were all feeling. They had been worried every minute of the day when Ezra left yesterday and if the telegram said 'same' then they would continue to worry.
Nathan stopped pacing when he saw Josiah walking towards them. He turned around and walked in the opposite direction, cursing under his breath, voicing the different ways he was going to make Chris and Buck pay if Ezra was any worse when they came back.
"Is this what your waiting for?" The telegraph clerk stuck his head out of the door and handed Vin a telegram.
"Thanks." Vin saw the smile that he wore and hoped that it was because of the telegram, he waited for him to go back inside then handed the telegram to Nathan.
Nathan took it from him and began to read it. "Asked question. Stop. Answer. Stop. Extremely embarrassed. Stop. You had to be there. Stop. Chris."
"That has to be good news? Doesn't it?" JD asked, he wasn't sure, he knew it was a different answer but it wasn't what he expected.
"Sounds like good news to me." Vin stepped forward and gave him a hug. "Best idea you ever had JD. Come on, I'm buying you a drink."
Nathan watched as they walked away towards the saloon, he began to follow them and stopped when he reached Josiah who had been standing to the side. "Good news isn't it Josiah?"
"Yes it is, I hope he's finally sorting things out." Josiah answered him.
"What about you Josiah? Are you sorting things out?" Nathan looked directly at him. "Are you going to be there for him when he gets back?"
"Seems I don't have a choice. JD threatened to no longer be my friend if I'm not."
"You have a choice Josiah, your just not making the right one." Nathan walked away from him and followed Vin and JD into the saloon.
________________________________________
Ezra tried to look into the window but the dirt that covered it made it difficult, he gave up and turned away. He looked around the main street and stepped off the boardwalk, he wanted to stretch his legs after being on a horse all morning. He looked into the alley and saw a man and a woman arguing. The man was largely overweight and dirty, a beard covered the bottom half of his face, the woman was too thin, her dirty hair hung loosely around her face and shoulders, and it hid his view of her face. He watched as the man struck the woman knocking her to the ground.
Ezra rushed forward, not thinking of his own safety, he only thought of protecting the woman. He reached the man who was about to hit her again. "I wouldn't do that, you'll regret it if you do." He growled up into his face as he stopped the man's arm as it swung towards the woman.
"No you’re going to regret it." A female voice said from behind him. Ezra felt the gun as it was pressed against his back. "Let him go and then give him what money you have."
"I don't have any money." Ezra spoke the truth, he didn't think he would need it, he had no intention of playing poker while he was here.
"Sam, search him." The large man stepped closer to Ezra and used his hand to search Ezra's clothing.
"Nothing." the man growled. "You certainly picked a great mark this time Grace."
"Me. You're the one that said he looked like he had money." She spat at him.
Ezra began to step away from them before they realised they hadn't taken his gun from him.
"I never said that." He turned to look at Ezra. "Hey where do you think you’re going." He took the gun from Grace and aimed it at Ezra.
"I've had enough of your stupidity Sam." Grace ignored Ezra and continued with the argument.
"You're the stupid one not me." He took his eyes off Ezra for a split second but it was all the time that Ezra needed to draw his own gun. The man's eyes moved back to the smaller man to find himself looking into the barrel of a gun. He panicked and pulled the trigger.
Ezra felt the bullet tear through his left side and he fired his own gun, his aim was more deadly than the man who had just failed in his attempt to kill him. He watched as the man fell to the ground, his chest no longer moving.
"You killed him!" Grace yelled at him as she calmly picked up the gun that lay next to the dead body. "You killed Sam!"
Ezra didn't take any notice of her, he looked down at his side and saw the blood that had begun to soak his shirt, and his only thought was that Nathan was going to kill him. He fell to his knees, his legs were no longer able to support his weight. He felt hands grab his shoulders and he looked up into Chris's face.
Chris and Buck had heard the two shots and their only thoughts were of Ezra, they knew that the southerner attracted trouble like no one else they had ever known, they didn't know why, it just seemed to follow him everywhere. They didn't have to look far to find him. They saw Ezra slumped on the ground in the alley that ran along side of the telegraph office, his gun was lying on the dirt floor next to him, they rushed to his side as a new thought crossed their minds. Nathan was going to kill them. Chris took his shoulders and allowed Ezra to lean against his chest while Buck checked the bullet wound. The first thing they had seen was the blood that stained the plain white shirt.
"Nathan's going to kill me." Ezra grimaced as a bolt of pain tore through his side, he looked back down to find Buck probing the wound.
"What happened here!" A voice yelled as more figures ran into the alley.
"That man murdered Sam!" Grace cried out as she forced the tears to flow from her eyes.
"I didn't murder anyone." Ezra spoke through clenched teeth. Buck had begun to apply pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding.
"Yes you did, you shot him down in cold blood."
"Grace, I want you to calm down and tell me what happened." Sheriff Glason ordered her while his men covered Ezra with their guns.
"We were arguing, Sam hit me and then this man showed up. He threatened Sam and then shot him. He killed him." She wiped the tears from hers eyes for a dramatic effect and then continued. "I shot him so he wouldn't get away. Sheriff, he murdered Sam in cold blood."
"It was self defence." Ezra whispered before he allowed the darkness to take him away from the pain.
Chris allowed Buck to take Ezra out of his arms. He stood up and faced the Sheriff. "If Ezra said it was self defence then that's what it was."
"And who the hell are you?" Glason's beady eyes looked Chris up and down, he put his thumbs in his gun belt causing it to press even more against his pudgy stomach.
"Chris Larabee, were three of the lawmen who protect Four Corners." Chris glared at him.
"And you think that gives this man the right to shoot someone in cold blood?" Glason growled at him, he tried not to show the fear that he felt as Chris's cold eyes glared through him.
"Ezra said it was self defence." Chris repeated.
"Grace wouldn't lie about something like this." Glason told him.
"Neither would Ezra." Chris replied calmly.
"Well then, we'll just have to wait to see what the Judge will have to say about it. He'll be here in two days and in the meantime, he goes to the jail."
"Ezra needs a doctor not a jail cell." Buck growled up at him.
"There is no choice in this matter. He is under arrest for murder." Four guns were cocked and pointed at the three men. "Either you take him to the jail or my men will and they may not be as careful as I am sure you will be."
Chris turned to the woman that had accused Ezra of murder, he took in her face and her eyes, placing them in his memory so he would not forget her. When he turned back, he saw that Buck had already picked Ezra up. He looked down at the pale face of his friend as they were forced into the direction of the jailhouse. He knew Ezra was in serious trouble. It was going to be his word against hers and things were in her favour because she was one of the town's residents and Ezra was a stranger to them. And it was the last thing that Ezra needed, they had planned this trip to help him and the only thing that they had done for him was to allow him to be shot and arrested for murder.
________________________________________
"Where the hell is that Doctor?" Buck yelled through the cell door as he tried to keep Ezra still. He had been able to stop the bleeding but the bullet hadn't gone straight through. It was still in Ezra's side and was now causing him a lot of pain. Ezra held onto his hand with a grip that brought tears to his eyes. It wasn't the pain in his hand that caused the emotion, it was because Ezra had searched for the comfort that he had refused all his life, he hadn't waited for someone to offer it, he had taken it by grabbing Buck's hand as soon as they laid him down onto the small bunk.
"I told you he's coming." Glason retorted.
"You've been telling us that for the last hour." Chris reminded him, his voice telling him the anger that he felt was reaching breaking point.
"That's because you keeping asking me." Glason moved closer to the cell and looked at Chris. "Doc Campbell is out at the Haley's ranch, he'll get here when he's finished." He quickly stepped back when Chris walked out of the unlocked cell.
"If Ezra dies because your Deputy is taking his time, I'll kill you." Chris's tone held a cold threat.
"They'll get here, I told him to hurry. Maybe the Doc can't leave Mrs Haley, did you ever stop to think of that." He tried to show the courage that he didn't feel and he knew that Larabee could sense his fear. "He'll get here."
Chris glared at him one last time and went back into the cell that he had forced Glason not to lock. He knelt down beside the cot and put his hand on Ezra's forehead, he could feel the fever that had already begun. He watched Ezra's pale and sweating face, his eyes were full of pain and there was nothing he could do to help him.
"Hang in there Ezra, he'll be here soon." Chris wiped the loose damp hair from his forehead and then placed his hand on top of his head, he used his thumb to rub his temple. He was terrified that Ezra wasn't going to fight, that he would give in and let death take him. "Don't give up on us Ezra."
Ezra heard what Chris said and he turned his head towards him, he blinked the sweat out of his eyes. "I won't Chris . . . I won't break my . . . promise." He could see the relief fill Chris's eyes. "Aw hell, Nathan's . . . going to kill me." He grimaced as more pain tore through his side.
"No he won't Ezra, he's going to be too busy killing us." Buck told him, he didn't know if he was trying to make himself feel better or Ezra.
"The Doc's here." Glason informed them as he stepped back into the jailhouse.
Chris turned on his heels to see an older man follow the Sheriff in through the doorway, his sun wrinkled face was framed by short grey hair, and his ill-fitting clothing gave the impression that he was someone who didn't know what he was doing. Chris shifted his position to make more room for the Doctor but he allowed his hand to continue to give Ezra the comfort that he needed and wanted.
"Could you please give me some space to work in?" Campbell asked Buck as he looked at Ezra's face, he could see the amount of pain the prisoner was in and the flushed skin told him that he had a fever.
Buck tried to get up but Ezra wouldn't let go of his hand. "Ezra you need to let go, I have to let the Doc fix you up." He felt Ezra's grip loosen and he gently removed his hand. "I'll be right here Ezra, I'm not going anywhere." He could see Ezra's pain filled eyes follow him as he moved back to lean against the cell bars.
"Glason, get me a cup of water and put some on to boil. Now!" The Doctor ordered him as he pulled Ezra's jacket and shirt aside, he felt around the wound with long thin fingers causing Ezra to let out a cry of pain. He grabbed his bag off the floor and took out a small bottle. "Glason!"
"I'm coming!" The Sheriff complained as he brought the cup into the cell, he handed it to the Doctor and then left again.
"I'm going to give him some laudanum, it'll make him sleep." The Doctor looked up at Chris. "That way the pain won't be as bad for him when I take the bullet out."
"Chris?" Ezra lifted his left arm up and Chris took it and pulled it back down.
"It's okay Ezra, he's going to help you." Chris tried to reassure him, he saw the look that the Doctor gave him and ignored it.
"Can you lift his head up for me." The Doctor poured a small amount of the mixture into the water and then placed it against his patient’s lips. "Come on you need to drink this." He could see the fear that was in the man's eyes. "It will take the pain away."
"Ezra, can you drink it for me, please." Chris knew that Ezra's lack of trust and fear of more pain stopped him from doing what the Doctor asked him to do, he needed reassurance and he tried to give it to him but the fear was building in his friend's eyes.
Ezra finally gave in and opened his mouth to allow the mixture to be poured in. Campbell couldn't help but smile at the look of disgust on the man's face. "Where's . . . Nathan's concoctions . . . when you need them . . . they taste . . . better." Ezra forced his eyelids to open as he struggled to stay awake, they were beginning to feel heavy, he didn't like what was happening, this was something new and it scared him.
"Don't fight it Ezra." The older man told him in a calming tone. He watched as Ezra's eyes closed once more and this time they stayed closed
________________________________________
All Ezra could feel was a numbness that seemed to have taken control of his entire body, there wasn't even any pain coming from his side, he tried to move but nothing would follow his brains instructions, the fear started to build within him, he had never felt like this before.
"He's coming round."
Ezra heard the voice but he didn't recognise it, the fear grew stronger but then Chris's voice spoke to him, he could feel the warm breath on the side of his face and took comfort in it.
"Ezra, it's Chris. Dr Campbell said that what your feeling is normal, it'll wear off, just relax and give it some time. He took the bullet out, you’re going to be fine, and you’re going to be okay Ezra." He could only just feel it as someone picked up his hand and another as it began to stroke his face. He knew how much these men had come to care about him, he could feel it in their touch, he could hear it in their voice, and their concern overwhelmed him and broke his heart. He felt the finger wipe the tear that had fallen from his eye. "It's okay Ezra, you’re going to be okay."
Ezra tried to say something so Chris would know that he could hear him but all that came out was barely audible moan. The hand continued to stroke his face and the unknown voice spoke again.
"Try not to talk Mr Standish, what your feeling will wear off in a few minutes, just relax." Campbell spoke in a soothing voice while he put his hand against his patient's forehead, the fever was still there but it wasn't at a dangerous level, he then felt his pulse to find it stronger than it had been.
"Chris?" Ezra managed to whisper.
"Does he ever do as he's told?" Campbell looked at Chris, the smile on his face told the hardened gunslinger that there was no anger in his question.
"He can be a bit stubborn." Chris answered him.
"A bit, try more like mule headed." Buck's voice held the relief that he felt.
"Shut up . . . Buck." Ezra croaked.
"How are you feeling Ezra?" Chris asked him as he squeezed his hand.
"Do you really . . . want to ask . . . me that now." Ezra groaned, he felt terrible but he didn't want Chris to know that. He knew he was back in the void that he thought he had finally begun to escape from.
"Thought I would catch you off guard." Chris smiled down at him.
"I see your just as stubborn." Campbell told Chris.
"More so." Ezra agreed as he finally managed to pull his eyes open. He looked up at the blurry figure that was leaning over him and had to blink his eyes until the man came into focus.
"Ezra, this is Doctor Campbell." Chris introduced the Doctor.
Ezra took in the smile, the kind grey eyes and couldn't help but instantly like the man. He tried to smile back at him but a grimace formed on his features instead, the pain in his side had come back. Ezra turned his pain-filled eyes to his left so he could look for his friends, he saw Chris beside him, and he looked over his shoulder at Buck who was still standing against the bars of his cell. He frowned at the sight and tried to remember what had happened.
"Do you remember what happened Ezra?" Chris could see the confusion on his face.
Ezra nodded at the memory, he had tried to protect the woman but in return, she and her friend had tried to rob him, the result was the death of the man and then his own arrest.
"We've got some good news Ezra." Buck informed him.
"Ezra do you think that you could drink some water now?" Doctor Campbell interrupted the conversation, he knew that his patient would fall into a natural sleep within minutes and he wanted to make sure he got some fluids into him before he did. He smiled when Ezra nodded in acknowledgement. He placed his hand behind his neck and helped him lift his head. "Just a sip to start Ezra, I want to make sure you can swallow first." When Ezra drank the small amount, he allowed him to drink more and when he had finished the full cup, he laid his head back down. "Chris, tell him what you need to and do it quick, he'll be asleep again in a few minutes."
"Ezra?" Chris continued to wipe his forehead as Ezra turned his head towards his voice. "The Judge that's coming in a couple of days is Judge Travis." Chris smiled at Ezra's confusion. "You finally got some good luck for a change. I think someone is trying to tell you something."
"Then why am I still here?" Ezra asked, he could feel the darkness waiting at the edge of his vision, he knew it wanted to take him back but he fought it off.
"That woman is still saying you shot her brother in cold blood." Buck explained as he came forward.
"Brother?" Ezra's eyes widened. "I didn't Chris, it was self defence, and he shot first . . . "
"I believe you Ezra, there's no doubt in my mind or Buck's." Chris tried to calm him down. "We just have to prove it to the Judge when he gets here. I know he'll believe you."
Campbell watched and listened as the three friends talked, he could tell they were close and that they trusted each other, he was willing to accept this man's innocence just on this display of friendship and trust. He was a good judge of character and he always relied on that judgement, he knew that he hadn't misjudged these men, he also knew what type of person Grace Lockwell was, and he didn't trust her or her family
"Are you sure about that." Ezra's voice became slurred as he drifted off to sleep.
"That's enough for now Chris, let him get some sleep." Campbell told the gunslinger. He waited a few minutes and then lifted one of Ezra's eyelids to make sure he was sleeping. "Why don't you two go and get some rest, maybe something to eat and then come back."
"No we won't leave him." Chris told him.
"He'll be sleeping anyway, he's not going to know that you weren't here." Campbell tried to convince them to get some rest.
"Let me put it another way John, we can't leave him." Chris used his first name so he would know how serious he was. After the Doctor had removed the bullet from Ezra's side, introductions had been made. Campbell had told them that he had only been in Eagle Bend for three months, he had come out West after spending years practicing in the city. Chris had liked the man immediately, he had a certain character that was easily readable and he could tell that he was a person who cared about people. He also liked the fact that the man hadn't judged Ezra.
"Why?" Campbell asked him, he saw the look that was stolen between the two men. "Is there something else wrong with him? Does it have something to do with the shooting?"
"He has nightmares." Chris didn't look at John but instead kept his eyes of Ezra's slack features. "He's been having a lot of problems lately, mostly emotional and he hasn't been coping."
"What type of problems?"
"I don't think it's something we should tell you." Chris wasn't sure how Ezra would react if he knew that he had told the Doctor what had been happening to him.
"I'm a Doctor, you can and should tell me. What he's been through might affect his recovery and besides I might be able to help him." He tried to convince them to tell him what his patient’s problems were.
"Why would you want to help him, you don't know him." Buck said defensively.
"I became a Doctor so I could help people, I want to help them." He took a deep breath. "Look, I can see that you care about him but it's obvious that you haven't been able to help him through it so why don't you let me try." He watched as another look passed between them. "I have experience in this type of thing, I'm sure I can help him."
"Okay." Chris finally accepted his offer of help. "Were willing to try anything to help him." He answered Buck's expression with one of his own. He didn't look away from Ezra while he told Campbell about everything that Ezra had been through. He told him about his mother and how she had taught him to hide his emotions, not to accept any type of concern. Told him how hard it was for him to finally show the emotions that he needed to, how hard it was for him to accept their touch because of what his relatives had done to him as a child. Chris finished with what Ezra had done two weeks ago because he wasn't able to cope with the torrent of emotions that now flooded his mind.
"He's been in this dark mood since he tried to kill himself?" Campbell looked down at the man that lay on the bed.
"Yeah." Buck admitted. "We haven't been able to do anything to get him out of it."
"Did he tell you what the dreams are about?"
"No." Chris answered him. "He won't talk about them, we know there about his father, we can hear him talk in his sleep but we can't work out what he's saying."
"Where does his father come into it?" Campbell was confused because Chris hadn't mention a father in his telling of Ezra's obviously difficult life.
"He has six friends, he finally accepted us after quite a bit of pushing but Josiah has been treating Ezra more like a son and Ezra didn't like it, he wasn't very pleasant when he told Josiah to stop. I tried but I couldn't get much out of him about his father. The only thing that we really know is that he wasn't a good father and he died when Ezra was only five."
"So it's either the type of father he was or his death that's bothering him." He leant forward and took a closer look at Ezra's face. "Do you know how he died?"
"No." They both spoke as one.
He turned his grey eyes to Chris. "So he'd be about twenty eight now that means he's kept the memory hidden behind this wall that you told me about for at least twenty three years just like he hid the memory of his Uncle and Aunt. No wonder he's not coping, it would be very hard for someone who has hidden everything all his life to have to suddenly deal with the memory and the emotions all at once."
"Ezra's thirty three." Chris corrected him.
"You sure." Campbell looked back down at the young face. "He looks like he's in his late twenty's."
Chris and Buck looked at each other. "Ezra told us that he was thirty three but then again who knows with Ezra, he's always pretended to be something he wasn't, it was only when he came to Four Corners that the real person showed himself." Chris frowned. "Come to think of it, I don't even know what the date of his birthday is."
"I wanna see him!" All three men turned at the voice that sounded from outside the jailhouse.
Campbell looked at Chris. "That's Grace Lockwell's father." He turned his eyes to Ezra to make sure the noise hadn't woken him.
"Get out of my way Glason! I want to see the man that killed my son!" The voiced echoed through the jailhouse.
"Buck, stay with Ezra." Chris stood up and made his way to the street that held the angry voice. What he found was a man who looked very much like the dead man, he also wore a beard that covered his dirty face and his body was just as large, his stomach pressed against his tight trousers in just the same way as the Sheriff's who was trying to stop the man from getting to the jail house.
"I told you Hank, you can't see him." The Sheriff tried to stop him but the larger man was able to push him away.
"You're not going in there." Chris told him.
"Yes I am." Lockwell growled at the stranger before him.
"No you’re not." Chris placed his hand on his holster, warning the man not to come any further.
"Glason. Who's the Sheriff here? You or him?" Lockwell glared up at Chris, even though he was large in size, he was still smaller than the dark clad gunslinger that blocked the doorway to the man who murdered his son.
"I am." Glason moved to closer to the man. "You're not going in there. Doc Campbell's with him and he won't allow any visitors."
"I'm not here to visit." He glared into Glason's beady eyes but the Sheriff held his ground. "I'm here to seek judgement. That man is going to hang for what he did, even if I have to do it myself." He turned around and walked away. "I'll be back!"
"Never did like that man." Glason admitted as he watched the retreating back, he turned to look at Chris.
"We have to take his threat seriously, if your friend gets off then Lockwell will go after him to seek his own justice."
Chris stormed back into the jailhouse that had begun to darken in much the same way that his mood did, he had heard what the Sheriff said and took the comment seriously. He had thought Ezra was in enough trouble but he now knew that things were going to get worse for him. They had to prove Ezra's innocence beyond a doubt for Lockwell to leave Ezra alone. He couldn't ignore the worried expression that he saw on Buck's face, he must have heard everything, and he looked down at Ezra and saw the haunted green eyes looking back at him.
'Shit!' Chris thought to himself, the yelling must have woken him, he didn't want Ezra to know about what had just happened. He made his way into the cell and knelt down on the floor so he could be at Ezra's level when he stared into his eyes.
"It'll be okay Ezra, everything will be fine." Ezra turned his head away from him without acknowledging what he said and closed his eyes, he was asleep again within seconds. Chris closed his own eyes and hung his head in despair, his forehead resting on Ezra's left shoulder, he could feel the heat that radiated off his body through the blanket that covered him.
"What are we going to do Chris?" Buck asked him as he came away from the metal bars that he had been leaning against.
"We have to prove that it was self defence Buck, it's the only thing that we can do." Chris answered him as he lifted his head but his voice was full of doubt. The only way they could do it was to convince Grace Lockwell to tell the Sheriff and her father what had really happened and he had a gut feeling that told him she wasn't going to admit the truth easily.
"And while you’re doing that, I'll help him with his problems." Campbell stated simply as though it was going to be easy to free Ezra from his dark void.
"You think that you could help him?" Buck was hopeful and he didn't hide the emotion that he felt.
"I can't promise anything, it will depend on whether or not Ezra wants help in dealing with his problems, if he doesn't then I won't be able to do anything for him." Campbell admitted.
"Just do what you can Doc." Buck smiled at him and then looked down at Ezra's pale sleeping form.
"Why don't I go and get us something to eat." Campbell suggested as he blinked his eyes against the brightening light as Glason moved around the jailhouse lighting lamps that caused the darkness to suddenly retreat from the building. The new light allowed him to see the worried faces before him more clearly.
"I'm not really that hungry Doc." Buck told him.
"Me either." Chris agreed with his friend.
"But if you could get something for Ezra. We um . . . promised someone that we would make sure he ate and he won't eat unless you force him to." Buck moved from one foot to the other.
"Your both going to eat some dinner and then I'm going to stay here with you so I can experience one of this young man's nightmares." He didn't wait for an answer but instead got up and left the cell and the jailhouse.
________________________________________
Glason didn't argue with Chris when he told him they were staying with Ezra but he wouldn't leave them alone until Campbell promised that the men wouldn't use the opportunity to escape. He had left the cell unlocked but locked the front and back door so they wouldn't have to worry about anyone trying to get in.
Each man had taken turns of guarding the jailhouse and watching Ezra for the first signs of a nightmare, Campbell wanted to listen to Ezra's mutterings to try to figure out what it was he was dreaming about.
Chris had already told him that they were about his father but he needed to know why he was dreaming about the man who had died when he was five years old, he hoped that it would then help him to help Ezra.
Chris turned away from the jailhouse window to see Ezra tossing his head to the side. 'It's starting.' He thought to himself. Each night he silently prayed that there wasn't going to be another nightmare but each night his prayer went unanswered. He moved quickly to the chair that Campbell was sleeping in and shook his shoulder until he woke.
"Ezra's dreaming." It was all he had to say to make the Doctor rush from his seat the Ezra's bedside.
Campbell watched as the emotion filled Ezra's face, tears fell from behind the closed eyelids but he didn't talk, his movements became more frantic as the nightmare worsened until he finally woke. The scream echoed off the walls of the jailhouse causing Buck to wake from his own peaceful sleep.
The older man held Ezra down as he tried to sit up. "What are you dreaming about Ezra?" He asked while the nightmare was still fresh in his sleep clouded mind, he hoped that Ezra would say something without realising it.
Ezra began to push him away, his efforts were weak at first but then they became more violent. Chris knelt down behind Ezra's head and held his shoulders down. Buck came into the cell and sat down on the cold floor, he reached forward and began to massage Ezra's temple with his thumb. Ezra instantly calmed down, his eyes slowly opened and he turned his head towards Buck.
"Hey Ezra." Buck kept rubbing his forehead and used his free hand to wipe the tears from his friend's face.
"You’re okay, it's just a dream. It's over now."
"Do you want to explain how you calmed him down so quickly?" Campbell asked Buck.
"It's hard to explain." Buck shrugged. "This was the first touch of concern that Ezra actually accepted. It was the one thing that calmed him down. Don't know why."
"When he feels it he knows that it's one of us, that were there with him and he's not alone." Chris added.
"My father used to do it." Ezra ignored the pain as he rolled onto his right side in an attempt to end the questions before they started.
"Your father?" Buck was stunned.
"Would you like to talk about that Ezra?" Campbell asked him.
"There's nothing to talk about."
"You dream about your father don't you?" Ezra didn't answer him, he ignored those around him. "Is it your father's death that is hurting you so much Ezra?"
"No, he left us before he died."
"Is that what it is?" Campbell waited for an answer but he didn't receive one. "Is it your father leaving you that's troubling you Ezra?"
"No!" Ezra began to get agitated. "I was glad the bastard left."
Campbell looked at Chris and Buck and saw the look of surprises on their faces, they had never heard any of this before, it was all new to them.
"What did he do to you Ezra?" Campbell asked him quietly.
"I'm not going to talk about it anymore, I don't want to go through that again."
"But you are Ezra, you’re going through it again in your dreams." The older man told him as he placed a hand on his leg.
"No I'm not, I don't dream about him." Campbell gave Chris a confused expression.
"But you talk about him in your sleep Ezra." Chris reminded him.
"I don't dream about him, now will you leave it at that!" Ezra closed his eyes and prayed that the darkness would take him back but it didn't. He was angry at himself for saying what he did. The others had never asked these type of questions after he woke up from a dream, they usually only asked him if he wanted to talk about it. He didn't know why he had told this man so much already, he wasn't going to tell him anymore.
Campbell caught Chris and Buck's attention and nodded towards the area beyond the cell, they reluctantly took the hint and stood up. Ezra could feel their movement as they left him alone with the Doctor.
"You’re reliving those first few years of your life aren't you Ezra?" Campbell gently forced him to roll onto his back, he saw the confusion in his eyes. "If you don't want to talk about him Ezra that's okay, I won't force you to." He got up off the bed and picked his bag up off the floor. "Do you think that you could sit up for me while I bandage your wound?"
"Yes." He tried to push himself up but had to rely on the Doctor's help. Campbell turned him so his back was leaning against the wall. Ezra bit his teeth against the pain and the sweat continued to roll down the side of his face. He watched as Campbell removed the old bandage and then began to replace it with a clean one.
"Ezra do you realise that your living in the past instead of now?" He didn't look up at him but he knew by the way he tensed up that he had his attention.
"What do you mean?" Ezra asked him, he didn't want to talk about his father but the statement peaked his curiosity.
"Your allowing your father to control your life instead of you controlling him and living in the present." Campbell tried to explain to him.
"I don't understand." Ezra needed confirmation of what he thought this man was telling him.
"It's like your five years old again Ezra instead of, . . . what, twenty eight, twenty nine." Campbell chose this moment to look up at the intense green eyes, he saw the shock before they were once again filled with confusion. "You need to let whatever happened go Ezra before you can go on. It's holding you back."
"I'm sorry, I still don't get what your trying to say." But he did.
"You need to forgive your father for whatever it was he did. You have to tell him that you forgive him."
"But she said it was my fault." Ezra muttered as the tears filled his eyes.
"EZRA!" Chris yelled at him. "Why do you keep blaming yourself for everything that ever happened to you!"
"Because my mother kept telling me that it was my fault he left!" Ezra yelled back at him.
"How can it be the fault of a five year old?" Campbell asked him.
"It wasn't" Ezra admitted to himself. "I know it wasn't, my friends convinced me that things like that aren't my fault but sometimes . . . I wonder if he would have stayed if things were better."
"Do you forgive him Ezra?" Campbell lifted his damp face with his hands.
"I can't." Ezra didn't pull his head from the gentle grip. "I can't. Please I don't want to talk about him anymore."
"Okay, you can't forgive him, how about accepting what happened, how about taking back control of your life?" He also didn't remove his hand. "Let it go Ezra, don't let him control you anymore." He felt Ezra try to move his head away so he made his grip firmer. "Ezra! I want you to say, I'm not going to let my father control my life anymore."
"What?" Ezra knew what he wanted and also knew what it meant.
"Your letting a man who has been dead for nearly twenty eight years control your life and your emotions. It's not your friends, it's not the fact that you had so much trouble dealing with your emotions. You accepted them, you began to deal with them but Josiah began to remind you of a dead man and you let that man's memory take control of you."
The realisation hit him, that's exactly what had been happening, his father was in his mind twenty-four hours a day, and he couldn't get rid of him.
"I'm not going to let my father control my life anymore." Ezra repeated as the tears refilled his eyes.
"I'm going to take back control of my life. I'm in control." Campbell nodded to him, indicating that he wanted him to repeat what he had just said.
"I'm going to take back control of my life." Ezra hesitated. "I'm in control."
"Tell him you forgive him."
"I forgive you father." Ezra said it before he could stop himself. "Oh god!" He could hear his own heart wrenching sobs but he couldn't stop, the emotions were finally escaping, he looked around for his friends.
"Chris! Buck! Help me please!"
Campbell got off the bed when he heard Ezra's friends coming towards him, he stepped back and watched Chris take him into his arms and as Buck put an arm around his shoulders. He knew that it was only the beginning for Ezra.
Ezra put his arms around Chris and held on tightly as the tears continued, he didn't want to let go. He couldn't believe that he had forgiven his father for what he had done. He had loved him once but that love quickly turned into hatred, a hatred that he never thought would change into forgiveness. Ezra could feel the pain tearing through his side and the blood that began to flow from the freshly opened wound but he couldn't stop, he no longer wanted to stop.
Chris could feel Ezra's emotional tremors as they tore through his body, he knew that he would be feeling a lot of pain in his side but he wasn't going to stop him from letting out the emotions that had refused to come out for the last two weeks. He didn't bother to try to wipe the tears that fell from his own face, he looked over Ezra's damp head at Buck and saw that he was the same, he allowed a smile to creep onto his face, and Buck returned it.
Doctor Campbell watched for a few minutes then prepared something that would help Ezra sleep, it was something that the young man now needed to do. He waited patiently for another twenty minutes before the tears finally began to ease, he moved forward and knelt down beside Ezra.
"Ezra?" He saw the damp eyes open and look at him, he smiled back at the dimples that appeared on the young face. "I want you to drink this, it'll help you sleep."
"It's not that stuff you gave me before is it?" Ezra sniffed and wiped at his cheeks. "I mean anyone would think that you were trying to kill me with that stuff." Ezra's smile grew when he heard his friends laugh.
"Did I miss the joke?" Campbell asked him.
"Yeah you did." Buck laughed as he used the palm of his hand to wipe the tears from his eyes.
Ezra pushed himself off Chris's damp shirt and cried out in pain at the movement. He felt Buck's hands on his shoulders as he supported his weight. He used a shaking hand to take the cup from the Doctor and quickly drank the foul tasting liquid.
"Your worse than Nathan." Ezra muttered as he allowed himself to fall back onto Chris's chest, he could feel his friend’s heartbeat and it lulled him into the first peaceful sleep that he'd had in weeks.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
Master Fan Fiction List
Eighteenth story in 'The Continuing Ezra Standish Saga'
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bad writing ahead!
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Ezra is wrongfully accused of murder and the victim's family want to see him hang, even if they have to do it themselves.
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest of the seven.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Beta: Not betaed – written in the early days when I didn’t know what the words grammar and edit meant. *is ashamed but no longer care*
Notes: Eighteenth story in the ‘Continuing Ezra Standish Saga’.
Spoilers: None.
Total Word Count: 24,711
The loud terrified scream broke through the silence of the early hours of the morning, causing Buck and Chris to jump out of their bedrolls, they knew what caused the scream. Ezra was having another nightmare. They rushed to his side with Chris getting to him first, he practically fell to his knees at the gambler's side and picked his upper body up and drew him into his embrace.
"It's okay Ezra, it's just another dream. It's okay." Chris began to stroke the back of Ezra's head with one hand while he held onto him with the other.
"Why . . . won't they . . . stop." Ezra gasped.
"They will Ezra, they will." Chris silently prayed, he knew there was a good chance that they wouldn't, they may just slow down like his own nightmares had. He still dreamt of his family’s death on occasions. Chris felt Ezra's arms wrap around his waist as he returned the embrace, he smiled slightly at the thought, two months ago the gambler would have pulled his derringer on anyone who tried to show him this sort of comfort and now Ezra not only accepted it, he returned it.
"You want to talk about it Ezra?" Buck asked him as he looked into the distraught face that pressed against Chris's shoulder. He sat down beside him and began to rub his back, he could feel Ezra's heart pounding through his rib cage against his hand and knew that Chris probably felt it against his chest.
"No." Ezra whispered, he wasn't going to talk about his father to anyone.
"You dreamt about your father didn't you Ezra?" Chris asked him.
"I told you I don't want to talk about him." Ezra tried to push away from Chris but Buck put more force onto his back, keeping the gambler where he was. Ezra pushed with more strength but gave up when he knew they weren't going to let him go. He let his hands fall to his sides, he no longer wanted to hold onto Chris.
"Please, I don't want to talk about him."
"But it's tearing you apart Ezra, you need to talk about him." Buck pleaded with him.
"No, Josiah's lack of concern is tearing me apart, these emotions that I haven't dealt with are tearing me apart, not my father. I won't let him." Ezra moved his head so he could look at Buck. "Honest Buck, he doesn't have a lot to do with the way I'm feeling. It's everything else." He closed his eyes, the long days ride causing him to feel more tired than usual. It was only a matter of seconds before he was asleep in Chris's arms.
"He's never going to let it out." Buck spoke with quiet frustration.
"Just give him a bit more time Buck." Chris told him as he laid Ezra back down onto his bedroll. "You want to get my blankets for me?"
"Sure, I'll get mine too." Buck smiled back at him.
________________________________________
Buck was the first to wake up to another warm cloudless day and he was deeply moved by the sight that was before him, he quietly stepped over Ezra's legs, he sat back down on his knees next to Chris and tapped his shoulder. He held him down as he jerked awake. Chris quickly blinked the sleep out of his eyes and looked up at the person who intruded on his sleep, the smile on Buck's face stopped him from showing him any anger.
"He looks good on you." Buck nodded towards Chris's long legs. Ezra was lying on his right side, his left arm draped over the gunslinger's shins, his head rested on his left thigh.
"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you." Chris couldn't help but smile. "You know what this means don't you?"
"Yep, you’re going to have to eat my cooking." Buck laughed as he stood up, he walked away so he didn't have to listen to Chris's protests.
________________________________________
Ezra woke to feel someone rubbing his temple. He could also feel something soft and warm under his head. He had to concentrate for a moment to remember where he was. Ezra wondered if it was Chris or Buck's thumb he could feel rubbing his face, he opened his eyes with the intention of finding out which one of his friends it was. He blinked against the bright sunlight and saw the black clad legs before him, he realised that he was lying on his Chris's legs.
"Good Lord." The embarrassment he felt was evident in his voice, it was one thing to be held but another to use someone's legs like a child would use a toy when they were sleeping.
"Morning Ezra." Buck tried to hold his laughter back but he couldn't.
Ezra threw him a foul look and Buck laughed even harder, more in relief because it was the first time he had seen that look in weeks. "If you tell anyone, I'll kill you!"
"That's exactly what I said." Chris agreed with him.
Ezra lifted his head and looked up into Chris's smiling face, he let his head fall back onto the gunslinger's leg. "Good Lord." he repeated.
"How are you feeling Ezra?" Chris asked him the same question they had been asking him every morning for the last two weeks. He continued to stroke the gambler's temple and smiled because he didn't change position, he stayed where he was, the arm still draped across his lower legs and his head still lying on his thigh.
"Extremely embarrassed." Ezra finally gave a different answer. "I suppose this means that Buck is cooking the breakfast that I can smell." He felt a slight hope that he was finally beginning to crawl out of the void that he was in.
"You got that right Ezra." Buck told him.
"I don't suppose there's any biscuits left." Ezra asked.
"Ezra there is nothing wrong my cooking." Buck protested.
"No, nothing that a different cook couldn't fix." Ezra continued to argue with him.
"I give up, not again Ezra, you or Chris can cook next time, and I’m not going through all this trouble just so you can complain about it." Buck walked away, he couldn't keep the smile off his face.
"Chris?" Ezra spoke in a soft tone.
"Yeah."
"I thought he was never going to get the hint."
________________________________________
The three men rode into Eagle Bend just before noon, the main street was crowded with locals, and they couldn't help but notice the suspicious looks that were sent their way as they rode through the town to the telegraph office. People actually stopped in the street to look them over. They tipped their hats in greeting to the townsfolk but they scurried away without returning the hired lawmen's greetings.
Two members of the larger population took particular notice of the three men, they thought the men would be easy pickings and they decided to follow them until an opportunity rose where they could relieve them of any cash and belongings they had. They hid in the shadows of a small alley and watched as the three strangers stopped in front of the telegraph office. They listened as the three men argued.
"Is there any particular reason that you don't want me to come in with you?" Ezra asked, he knew that there was nothing there for them to pick up. Chris had to arrange something with the man inside and he didn't want him there when he did it. Ezra was actually beginning to feel better. He had ridden all morning watching the area around him, whereas the day before he had no interest in it, he didn't really say a lot but he knew that something was changing inside him, it was the same as when the morning light filtered through your eyelids into your mind to wake you up from your sleep. He felt as though the light was beginning to break through into the dark void that he had been made a prisoner of. What surprised him was the fact that nothing had really happened to cause the change, it had just begun, and there was no particular reason for it. Maybe JD had been right, he just needed a change of scenery and to get away from Josiah for a while.
"No reason Ezra, just thought you might want to stay out here in the fresh air." Buck tried to think quickly but it was hard when you were up against Ezra, he was too quick for any of them.
"I would rather come in with you Buck, I don't really want to be alone at the moment." Ezra hung his head and lifted his eyes to see the two men exchange glances.
"We'll only be a few minutes Ezra." Chris assured him.
"Must be a big parcel if it is going to take the two of you to get it." Ezra muttered as he kept his head down.
"Aw hell Ezra." Buck was feeling guilty now.
"No go on Buck, I'm sure I'll be okay . . . out here . . . on my own . . . while you two are in there . . . picking up that large parcel." Ezra turned away from them, a genuine smile was beginning to form on his face, the dimples finally appearing to make his features even more handsome. He felt a hand on his shoulder and the smile dropped from his face. He lifted his eyes to look into Chris's worried gaze. "Don't worry Chris, I'm fine. You go on. I'll wait for you here."
"We'll just be a few minutes Ezra." Chris patted his shoulder and moved away, a frown covered his face, he was really beginning to think that Ezra knew the real reason for their journey.
Buck and Chris stepped into the telegraph office and up to the counter. "Can I help you gentlemen?" The young clerk asked them.
"Yes you can." Buck leaned forward and glared at the young man who stared back at him through steel-rimmed eyeglasses. "First of all we would like to send a telegram and second we want a parcel that's big and heavy."
________________________________________
"Their late, Chris said noon, where the hell is that telegram." Nathan was fuming. "If they have done anything to make Ezra feel any worse I'll . . . ."
"Don't worry Nathan, he said he'll send a telegram, just give him a bit more time." Vin tried to calm the healer down. He smiled inwardly though as he watched the larger man pace back and forth along the boardwalk. He nodded to JD who stood on the other side. JD smiled back at him, he was also enjoying the sight, it helped break the tension they were all feeling. They had been worried every minute of the day when Ezra left yesterday and if the telegram said 'same' then they would continue to worry.
Nathan stopped pacing when he saw Josiah walking towards them. He turned around and walked in the opposite direction, cursing under his breath, voicing the different ways he was going to make Chris and Buck pay if Ezra was any worse when they came back.
"Is this what your waiting for?" The telegraph clerk stuck his head out of the door and handed Vin a telegram.
"Thanks." Vin saw the smile that he wore and hoped that it was because of the telegram, he waited for him to go back inside then handed the telegram to Nathan.
Nathan took it from him and began to read it. "Asked question. Stop. Answer. Stop. Extremely embarrassed. Stop. You had to be there. Stop. Chris."
"That has to be good news? Doesn't it?" JD asked, he wasn't sure, he knew it was a different answer but it wasn't what he expected.
"Sounds like good news to me." Vin stepped forward and gave him a hug. "Best idea you ever had JD. Come on, I'm buying you a drink."
Nathan watched as they walked away towards the saloon, he began to follow them and stopped when he reached Josiah who had been standing to the side. "Good news isn't it Josiah?"
"Yes it is, I hope he's finally sorting things out." Josiah answered him.
"What about you Josiah? Are you sorting things out?" Nathan looked directly at him. "Are you going to be there for him when he gets back?"
"Seems I don't have a choice. JD threatened to no longer be my friend if I'm not."
"You have a choice Josiah, your just not making the right one." Nathan walked away from him and followed Vin and JD into the saloon.
________________________________________
Ezra tried to look into the window but the dirt that covered it made it difficult, he gave up and turned away. He looked around the main street and stepped off the boardwalk, he wanted to stretch his legs after being on a horse all morning. He looked into the alley and saw a man and a woman arguing. The man was largely overweight and dirty, a beard covered the bottom half of his face, the woman was too thin, her dirty hair hung loosely around her face and shoulders, and it hid his view of her face. He watched as the man struck the woman knocking her to the ground.
Ezra rushed forward, not thinking of his own safety, he only thought of protecting the woman. He reached the man who was about to hit her again. "I wouldn't do that, you'll regret it if you do." He growled up into his face as he stopped the man's arm as it swung towards the woman.
"No you’re going to regret it." A female voice said from behind him. Ezra felt the gun as it was pressed against his back. "Let him go and then give him what money you have."
"I don't have any money." Ezra spoke the truth, he didn't think he would need it, he had no intention of playing poker while he was here.
"Sam, search him." The large man stepped closer to Ezra and used his hand to search Ezra's clothing.
"Nothing." the man growled. "You certainly picked a great mark this time Grace."
"Me. You're the one that said he looked like he had money." She spat at him.
Ezra began to step away from them before they realised they hadn't taken his gun from him.
"I never said that." He turned to look at Ezra. "Hey where do you think you’re going." He took the gun from Grace and aimed it at Ezra.
"I've had enough of your stupidity Sam." Grace ignored Ezra and continued with the argument.
"You're the stupid one not me." He took his eyes off Ezra for a split second but it was all the time that Ezra needed to draw his own gun. The man's eyes moved back to the smaller man to find himself looking into the barrel of a gun. He panicked and pulled the trigger.
Ezra felt the bullet tear through his left side and he fired his own gun, his aim was more deadly than the man who had just failed in his attempt to kill him. He watched as the man fell to the ground, his chest no longer moving.
"You killed him!" Grace yelled at him as she calmly picked up the gun that lay next to the dead body. "You killed Sam!"
Ezra didn't take any notice of her, he looked down at his side and saw the blood that had begun to soak his shirt, and his only thought was that Nathan was going to kill him. He fell to his knees, his legs were no longer able to support his weight. He felt hands grab his shoulders and he looked up into Chris's face.
Chris and Buck had heard the two shots and their only thoughts were of Ezra, they knew that the southerner attracted trouble like no one else they had ever known, they didn't know why, it just seemed to follow him everywhere. They didn't have to look far to find him. They saw Ezra slumped on the ground in the alley that ran along side of the telegraph office, his gun was lying on the dirt floor next to him, they rushed to his side as a new thought crossed their minds. Nathan was going to kill them. Chris took his shoulders and allowed Ezra to lean against his chest while Buck checked the bullet wound. The first thing they had seen was the blood that stained the plain white shirt.
"Nathan's going to kill me." Ezra grimaced as a bolt of pain tore through his side, he looked back down to find Buck probing the wound.
"What happened here!" A voice yelled as more figures ran into the alley.
"That man murdered Sam!" Grace cried out as she forced the tears to flow from her eyes.
"I didn't murder anyone." Ezra spoke through clenched teeth. Buck had begun to apply pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding.
"Yes you did, you shot him down in cold blood."
"Grace, I want you to calm down and tell me what happened." Sheriff Glason ordered her while his men covered Ezra with their guns.
"We were arguing, Sam hit me and then this man showed up. He threatened Sam and then shot him. He killed him." She wiped the tears from hers eyes for a dramatic effect and then continued. "I shot him so he wouldn't get away. Sheriff, he murdered Sam in cold blood."
"It was self defence." Ezra whispered before he allowed the darkness to take him away from the pain.
Chris allowed Buck to take Ezra out of his arms. He stood up and faced the Sheriff. "If Ezra said it was self defence then that's what it was."
"And who the hell are you?" Glason's beady eyes looked Chris up and down, he put his thumbs in his gun belt causing it to press even more against his pudgy stomach.
"Chris Larabee, were three of the lawmen who protect Four Corners." Chris glared at him.
"And you think that gives this man the right to shoot someone in cold blood?" Glason growled at him, he tried not to show the fear that he felt as Chris's cold eyes glared through him.
"Ezra said it was self defence." Chris repeated.
"Grace wouldn't lie about something like this." Glason told him.
"Neither would Ezra." Chris replied calmly.
"Well then, we'll just have to wait to see what the Judge will have to say about it. He'll be here in two days and in the meantime, he goes to the jail."
"Ezra needs a doctor not a jail cell." Buck growled up at him.
"There is no choice in this matter. He is under arrest for murder." Four guns were cocked and pointed at the three men. "Either you take him to the jail or my men will and they may not be as careful as I am sure you will be."
Chris turned to the woman that had accused Ezra of murder, he took in her face and her eyes, placing them in his memory so he would not forget her. When he turned back, he saw that Buck had already picked Ezra up. He looked down at the pale face of his friend as they were forced into the direction of the jailhouse. He knew Ezra was in serious trouble. It was going to be his word against hers and things were in her favour because she was one of the town's residents and Ezra was a stranger to them. And it was the last thing that Ezra needed, they had planned this trip to help him and the only thing that they had done for him was to allow him to be shot and arrested for murder.
________________________________________
"Where the hell is that Doctor?" Buck yelled through the cell door as he tried to keep Ezra still. He had been able to stop the bleeding but the bullet hadn't gone straight through. It was still in Ezra's side and was now causing him a lot of pain. Ezra held onto his hand with a grip that brought tears to his eyes. It wasn't the pain in his hand that caused the emotion, it was because Ezra had searched for the comfort that he had refused all his life, he hadn't waited for someone to offer it, he had taken it by grabbing Buck's hand as soon as they laid him down onto the small bunk.
"I told you he's coming." Glason retorted.
"You've been telling us that for the last hour." Chris reminded him, his voice telling him the anger that he felt was reaching breaking point.
"That's because you keeping asking me." Glason moved closer to the cell and looked at Chris. "Doc Campbell is out at the Haley's ranch, he'll get here when he's finished." He quickly stepped back when Chris walked out of the unlocked cell.
"If Ezra dies because your Deputy is taking his time, I'll kill you." Chris's tone held a cold threat.
"They'll get here, I told him to hurry. Maybe the Doc can't leave Mrs Haley, did you ever stop to think of that." He tried to show the courage that he didn't feel and he knew that Larabee could sense his fear. "He'll get here."
Chris glared at him one last time and went back into the cell that he had forced Glason not to lock. He knelt down beside the cot and put his hand on Ezra's forehead, he could feel the fever that had already begun. He watched Ezra's pale and sweating face, his eyes were full of pain and there was nothing he could do to help him.
"Hang in there Ezra, he'll be here soon." Chris wiped the loose damp hair from his forehead and then placed his hand on top of his head, he used his thumb to rub his temple. He was terrified that Ezra wasn't going to fight, that he would give in and let death take him. "Don't give up on us Ezra."
Ezra heard what Chris said and he turned his head towards him, he blinked the sweat out of his eyes. "I won't Chris . . . I won't break my . . . promise." He could see the relief fill Chris's eyes. "Aw hell, Nathan's . . . going to kill me." He grimaced as more pain tore through his side.
"No he won't Ezra, he's going to be too busy killing us." Buck told him, he didn't know if he was trying to make himself feel better or Ezra.
"The Doc's here." Glason informed them as he stepped back into the jailhouse.
Chris turned on his heels to see an older man follow the Sheriff in through the doorway, his sun wrinkled face was framed by short grey hair, and his ill-fitting clothing gave the impression that he was someone who didn't know what he was doing. Chris shifted his position to make more room for the Doctor but he allowed his hand to continue to give Ezra the comfort that he needed and wanted.
"Could you please give me some space to work in?" Campbell asked Buck as he looked at Ezra's face, he could see the amount of pain the prisoner was in and the flushed skin told him that he had a fever.
Buck tried to get up but Ezra wouldn't let go of his hand. "Ezra you need to let go, I have to let the Doc fix you up." He felt Ezra's grip loosen and he gently removed his hand. "I'll be right here Ezra, I'm not going anywhere." He could see Ezra's pain filled eyes follow him as he moved back to lean against the cell bars.
"Glason, get me a cup of water and put some on to boil. Now!" The Doctor ordered him as he pulled Ezra's jacket and shirt aside, he felt around the wound with long thin fingers causing Ezra to let out a cry of pain. He grabbed his bag off the floor and took out a small bottle. "Glason!"
"I'm coming!" The Sheriff complained as he brought the cup into the cell, he handed it to the Doctor and then left again.
"I'm going to give him some laudanum, it'll make him sleep." The Doctor looked up at Chris. "That way the pain won't be as bad for him when I take the bullet out."
"Chris?" Ezra lifted his left arm up and Chris took it and pulled it back down.
"It's okay Ezra, he's going to help you." Chris tried to reassure him, he saw the look that the Doctor gave him and ignored it.
"Can you lift his head up for me." The Doctor poured a small amount of the mixture into the water and then placed it against his patient’s lips. "Come on you need to drink this." He could see the fear that was in the man's eyes. "It will take the pain away."
"Ezra, can you drink it for me, please." Chris knew that Ezra's lack of trust and fear of more pain stopped him from doing what the Doctor asked him to do, he needed reassurance and he tried to give it to him but the fear was building in his friend's eyes.
Ezra finally gave in and opened his mouth to allow the mixture to be poured in. Campbell couldn't help but smile at the look of disgust on the man's face. "Where's . . . Nathan's concoctions . . . when you need them . . . they taste . . . better." Ezra forced his eyelids to open as he struggled to stay awake, they were beginning to feel heavy, he didn't like what was happening, this was something new and it scared him.
"Don't fight it Ezra." The older man told him in a calming tone. He watched as Ezra's eyes closed once more and this time they stayed closed
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All Ezra could feel was a numbness that seemed to have taken control of his entire body, there wasn't even any pain coming from his side, he tried to move but nothing would follow his brains instructions, the fear started to build within him, he had never felt like this before.
"He's coming round."
Ezra heard the voice but he didn't recognise it, the fear grew stronger but then Chris's voice spoke to him, he could feel the warm breath on the side of his face and took comfort in it.
"Ezra, it's Chris. Dr Campbell said that what your feeling is normal, it'll wear off, just relax and give it some time. He took the bullet out, you’re going to be fine, and you’re going to be okay Ezra." He could only just feel it as someone picked up his hand and another as it began to stroke his face. He knew how much these men had come to care about him, he could feel it in their touch, he could hear it in their voice, and their concern overwhelmed him and broke his heart. He felt the finger wipe the tear that had fallen from his eye. "It's okay Ezra, you’re going to be okay."
Ezra tried to say something so Chris would know that he could hear him but all that came out was barely audible moan. The hand continued to stroke his face and the unknown voice spoke again.
"Try not to talk Mr Standish, what your feeling will wear off in a few minutes, just relax." Campbell spoke in a soothing voice while he put his hand against his patient's forehead, the fever was still there but it wasn't at a dangerous level, he then felt his pulse to find it stronger than it had been.
"Chris?" Ezra managed to whisper.
"Does he ever do as he's told?" Campbell looked at Chris, the smile on his face told the hardened gunslinger that there was no anger in his question.
"He can be a bit stubborn." Chris answered him.
"A bit, try more like mule headed." Buck's voice held the relief that he felt.
"Shut up . . . Buck." Ezra croaked.
"How are you feeling Ezra?" Chris asked him as he squeezed his hand.
"Do you really . . . want to ask . . . me that now." Ezra groaned, he felt terrible but he didn't want Chris to know that. He knew he was back in the void that he thought he had finally begun to escape from.
"Thought I would catch you off guard." Chris smiled down at him.
"I see your just as stubborn." Campbell told Chris.
"More so." Ezra agreed as he finally managed to pull his eyes open. He looked up at the blurry figure that was leaning over him and had to blink his eyes until the man came into focus.
"Ezra, this is Doctor Campbell." Chris introduced the Doctor.
Ezra took in the smile, the kind grey eyes and couldn't help but instantly like the man. He tried to smile back at him but a grimace formed on his features instead, the pain in his side had come back. Ezra turned his pain-filled eyes to his left so he could look for his friends, he saw Chris beside him, and he looked over his shoulder at Buck who was still standing against the bars of his cell. He frowned at the sight and tried to remember what had happened.
"Do you remember what happened Ezra?" Chris could see the confusion on his face.
Ezra nodded at the memory, he had tried to protect the woman but in return, she and her friend had tried to rob him, the result was the death of the man and then his own arrest.
"We've got some good news Ezra." Buck informed him.
"Ezra do you think that you could drink some water now?" Doctor Campbell interrupted the conversation, he knew that his patient would fall into a natural sleep within minutes and he wanted to make sure he got some fluids into him before he did. He smiled when Ezra nodded in acknowledgement. He placed his hand behind his neck and helped him lift his head. "Just a sip to start Ezra, I want to make sure you can swallow first." When Ezra drank the small amount, he allowed him to drink more and when he had finished the full cup, he laid his head back down. "Chris, tell him what you need to and do it quick, he'll be asleep again in a few minutes."
"Ezra?" Chris continued to wipe his forehead as Ezra turned his head towards his voice. "The Judge that's coming in a couple of days is Judge Travis." Chris smiled at Ezra's confusion. "You finally got some good luck for a change. I think someone is trying to tell you something."
"Then why am I still here?" Ezra asked, he could feel the darkness waiting at the edge of his vision, he knew it wanted to take him back but he fought it off.
"That woman is still saying you shot her brother in cold blood." Buck explained as he came forward.
"Brother?" Ezra's eyes widened. "I didn't Chris, it was self defence, and he shot first . . . "
"I believe you Ezra, there's no doubt in my mind or Buck's." Chris tried to calm him down. "We just have to prove it to the Judge when he gets here. I know he'll believe you."
Campbell watched and listened as the three friends talked, he could tell they were close and that they trusted each other, he was willing to accept this man's innocence just on this display of friendship and trust. He was a good judge of character and he always relied on that judgement, he knew that he hadn't misjudged these men, he also knew what type of person Grace Lockwell was, and he didn't trust her or her family
"Are you sure about that." Ezra's voice became slurred as he drifted off to sleep.
"That's enough for now Chris, let him get some sleep." Campbell told the gunslinger. He waited a few minutes and then lifted one of Ezra's eyelids to make sure he was sleeping. "Why don't you two go and get some rest, maybe something to eat and then come back."
"No we won't leave him." Chris told him.
"He'll be sleeping anyway, he's not going to know that you weren't here." Campbell tried to convince them to get some rest.
"Let me put it another way John, we can't leave him." Chris used his first name so he would know how serious he was. After the Doctor had removed the bullet from Ezra's side, introductions had been made. Campbell had told them that he had only been in Eagle Bend for three months, he had come out West after spending years practicing in the city. Chris had liked the man immediately, he had a certain character that was easily readable and he could tell that he was a person who cared about people. He also liked the fact that the man hadn't judged Ezra.
"Why?" Campbell asked him, he saw the look that was stolen between the two men. "Is there something else wrong with him? Does it have something to do with the shooting?"
"He has nightmares." Chris didn't look at John but instead kept his eyes of Ezra's slack features. "He's been having a lot of problems lately, mostly emotional and he hasn't been coping."
"What type of problems?"
"I don't think it's something we should tell you." Chris wasn't sure how Ezra would react if he knew that he had told the Doctor what had been happening to him.
"I'm a Doctor, you can and should tell me. What he's been through might affect his recovery and besides I might be able to help him." He tried to convince them to tell him what his patient’s problems were.
"Why would you want to help him, you don't know him." Buck said defensively.
"I became a Doctor so I could help people, I want to help them." He took a deep breath. "Look, I can see that you care about him but it's obvious that you haven't been able to help him through it so why don't you let me try." He watched as another look passed between them. "I have experience in this type of thing, I'm sure I can help him."
"Okay." Chris finally accepted his offer of help. "Were willing to try anything to help him." He answered Buck's expression with one of his own. He didn't look away from Ezra while he told Campbell about everything that Ezra had been through. He told him about his mother and how she had taught him to hide his emotions, not to accept any type of concern. Told him how hard it was for him to finally show the emotions that he needed to, how hard it was for him to accept their touch because of what his relatives had done to him as a child. Chris finished with what Ezra had done two weeks ago because he wasn't able to cope with the torrent of emotions that now flooded his mind.
"He's been in this dark mood since he tried to kill himself?" Campbell looked down at the man that lay on the bed.
"Yeah." Buck admitted. "We haven't been able to do anything to get him out of it."
"Did he tell you what the dreams are about?"
"No." Chris answered him. "He won't talk about them, we know there about his father, we can hear him talk in his sleep but we can't work out what he's saying."
"Where does his father come into it?" Campbell was confused because Chris hadn't mention a father in his telling of Ezra's obviously difficult life.
"He has six friends, he finally accepted us after quite a bit of pushing but Josiah has been treating Ezra more like a son and Ezra didn't like it, he wasn't very pleasant when he told Josiah to stop. I tried but I couldn't get much out of him about his father. The only thing that we really know is that he wasn't a good father and he died when Ezra was only five."
"So it's either the type of father he was or his death that's bothering him." He leant forward and took a closer look at Ezra's face. "Do you know how he died?"
"No." They both spoke as one.
He turned his grey eyes to Chris. "So he'd be about twenty eight now that means he's kept the memory hidden behind this wall that you told me about for at least twenty three years just like he hid the memory of his Uncle and Aunt. No wonder he's not coping, it would be very hard for someone who has hidden everything all his life to have to suddenly deal with the memory and the emotions all at once."
"Ezra's thirty three." Chris corrected him.
"You sure." Campbell looked back down at the young face. "He looks like he's in his late twenty's."
Chris and Buck looked at each other. "Ezra told us that he was thirty three but then again who knows with Ezra, he's always pretended to be something he wasn't, it was only when he came to Four Corners that the real person showed himself." Chris frowned. "Come to think of it, I don't even know what the date of his birthday is."
"I wanna see him!" All three men turned at the voice that sounded from outside the jailhouse.
Campbell looked at Chris. "That's Grace Lockwell's father." He turned his eyes to Ezra to make sure the noise hadn't woken him.
"Get out of my way Glason! I want to see the man that killed my son!" The voiced echoed through the jailhouse.
"Buck, stay with Ezra." Chris stood up and made his way to the street that held the angry voice. What he found was a man who looked very much like the dead man, he also wore a beard that covered his dirty face and his body was just as large, his stomach pressed against his tight trousers in just the same way as the Sheriff's who was trying to stop the man from getting to the jail house.
"I told you Hank, you can't see him." The Sheriff tried to stop him but the larger man was able to push him away.
"You're not going in there." Chris told him.
"Yes I am." Lockwell growled at the stranger before him.
"No you’re not." Chris placed his hand on his holster, warning the man not to come any further.
"Glason. Who's the Sheriff here? You or him?" Lockwell glared up at Chris, even though he was large in size, he was still smaller than the dark clad gunslinger that blocked the doorway to the man who murdered his son.
"I am." Glason moved to closer to the man. "You're not going in there. Doc Campbell's with him and he won't allow any visitors."
"I'm not here to visit." He glared into Glason's beady eyes but the Sheriff held his ground. "I'm here to seek judgement. That man is going to hang for what he did, even if I have to do it myself." He turned around and walked away. "I'll be back!"
"Never did like that man." Glason admitted as he watched the retreating back, he turned to look at Chris.
"We have to take his threat seriously, if your friend gets off then Lockwell will go after him to seek his own justice."
Chris stormed back into the jailhouse that had begun to darken in much the same way that his mood did, he had heard what the Sheriff said and took the comment seriously. He had thought Ezra was in enough trouble but he now knew that things were going to get worse for him. They had to prove Ezra's innocence beyond a doubt for Lockwell to leave Ezra alone. He couldn't ignore the worried expression that he saw on Buck's face, he must have heard everything, and he looked down at Ezra and saw the haunted green eyes looking back at him.
'Shit!' Chris thought to himself, the yelling must have woken him, he didn't want Ezra to know about what had just happened. He made his way into the cell and knelt down on the floor so he could be at Ezra's level when he stared into his eyes.
"It'll be okay Ezra, everything will be fine." Ezra turned his head away from him without acknowledging what he said and closed his eyes, he was asleep again within seconds. Chris closed his own eyes and hung his head in despair, his forehead resting on Ezra's left shoulder, he could feel the heat that radiated off his body through the blanket that covered him.
"What are we going to do Chris?" Buck asked him as he came away from the metal bars that he had been leaning against.
"We have to prove that it was self defence Buck, it's the only thing that we can do." Chris answered him as he lifted his head but his voice was full of doubt. The only way they could do it was to convince Grace Lockwell to tell the Sheriff and her father what had really happened and he had a gut feeling that told him she wasn't going to admit the truth easily.
"And while you’re doing that, I'll help him with his problems." Campbell stated simply as though it was going to be easy to free Ezra from his dark void.
"You think that you could help him?" Buck was hopeful and he didn't hide the emotion that he felt.
"I can't promise anything, it will depend on whether or not Ezra wants help in dealing with his problems, if he doesn't then I won't be able to do anything for him." Campbell admitted.
"Just do what you can Doc." Buck smiled at him and then looked down at Ezra's pale sleeping form.
"Why don't I go and get us something to eat." Campbell suggested as he blinked his eyes against the brightening light as Glason moved around the jailhouse lighting lamps that caused the darkness to suddenly retreat from the building. The new light allowed him to see the worried faces before him more clearly.
"I'm not really that hungry Doc." Buck told him.
"Me either." Chris agreed with his friend.
"But if you could get something for Ezra. We um . . . promised someone that we would make sure he ate and he won't eat unless you force him to." Buck moved from one foot to the other.
"Your both going to eat some dinner and then I'm going to stay here with you so I can experience one of this young man's nightmares." He didn't wait for an answer but instead got up and left the cell and the jailhouse.
________________________________________
Glason didn't argue with Chris when he told him they were staying with Ezra but he wouldn't leave them alone until Campbell promised that the men wouldn't use the opportunity to escape. He had left the cell unlocked but locked the front and back door so they wouldn't have to worry about anyone trying to get in.
Each man had taken turns of guarding the jailhouse and watching Ezra for the first signs of a nightmare, Campbell wanted to listen to Ezra's mutterings to try to figure out what it was he was dreaming about.
Chris had already told him that they were about his father but he needed to know why he was dreaming about the man who had died when he was five years old, he hoped that it would then help him to help Ezra.
Chris turned away from the jailhouse window to see Ezra tossing his head to the side. 'It's starting.' He thought to himself. Each night he silently prayed that there wasn't going to be another nightmare but each night his prayer went unanswered. He moved quickly to the chair that Campbell was sleeping in and shook his shoulder until he woke.
"Ezra's dreaming." It was all he had to say to make the Doctor rush from his seat the Ezra's bedside.
Campbell watched as the emotion filled Ezra's face, tears fell from behind the closed eyelids but he didn't talk, his movements became more frantic as the nightmare worsened until he finally woke. The scream echoed off the walls of the jailhouse causing Buck to wake from his own peaceful sleep.
The older man held Ezra down as he tried to sit up. "What are you dreaming about Ezra?" He asked while the nightmare was still fresh in his sleep clouded mind, he hoped that Ezra would say something without realising it.
Ezra began to push him away, his efforts were weak at first but then they became more violent. Chris knelt down behind Ezra's head and held his shoulders down. Buck came into the cell and sat down on the cold floor, he reached forward and began to massage Ezra's temple with his thumb. Ezra instantly calmed down, his eyes slowly opened and he turned his head towards Buck.
"Hey Ezra." Buck kept rubbing his forehead and used his free hand to wipe the tears from his friend's face.
"You’re okay, it's just a dream. It's over now."
"Do you want to explain how you calmed him down so quickly?" Campbell asked Buck.
"It's hard to explain." Buck shrugged. "This was the first touch of concern that Ezra actually accepted. It was the one thing that calmed him down. Don't know why."
"When he feels it he knows that it's one of us, that were there with him and he's not alone." Chris added.
"My father used to do it." Ezra ignored the pain as he rolled onto his right side in an attempt to end the questions before they started.
"Your father?" Buck was stunned.
"Would you like to talk about that Ezra?" Campbell asked him.
"There's nothing to talk about."
"You dream about your father don't you?" Ezra didn't answer him, he ignored those around him. "Is it your father's death that is hurting you so much Ezra?"
"No, he left us before he died."
"Is that what it is?" Campbell waited for an answer but he didn't receive one. "Is it your father leaving you that's troubling you Ezra?"
"No!" Ezra began to get agitated. "I was glad the bastard left."
Campbell looked at Chris and Buck and saw the look of surprises on their faces, they had never heard any of this before, it was all new to them.
"What did he do to you Ezra?" Campbell asked him quietly.
"I'm not going to talk about it anymore, I don't want to go through that again."
"But you are Ezra, you’re going through it again in your dreams." The older man told him as he placed a hand on his leg.
"No I'm not, I don't dream about him." Campbell gave Chris a confused expression.
"But you talk about him in your sleep Ezra." Chris reminded him.
"I don't dream about him, now will you leave it at that!" Ezra closed his eyes and prayed that the darkness would take him back but it didn't. He was angry at himself for saying what he did. The others had never asked these type of questions after he woke up from a dream, they usually only asked him if he wanted to talk about it. He didn't know why he had told this man so much already, he wasn't going to tell him anymore.
Campbell caught Chris and Buck's attention and nodded towards the area beyond the cell, they reluctantly took the hint and stood up. Ezra could feel their movement as they left him alone with the Doctor.
"You’re reliving those first few years of your life aren't you Ezra?" Campbell gently forced him to roll onto his back, he saw the confusion in his eyes. "If you don't want to talk about him Ezra that's okay, I won't force you to." He got up off the bed and picked his bag up off the floor. "Do you think that you could sit up for me while I bandage your wound?"
"Yes." He tried to push himself up but had to rely on the Doctor's help. Campbell turned him so his back was leaning against the wall. Ezra bit his teeth against the pain and the sweat continued to roll down the side of his face. He watched as Campbell removed the old bandage and then began to replace it with a clean one.
"Ezra do you realise that your living in the past instead of now?" He didn't look up at him but he knew by the way he tensed up that he had his attention.
"What do you mean?" Ezra asked him, he didn't want to talk about his father but the statement peaked his curiosity.
"Your allowing your father to control your life instead of you controlling him and living in the present." Campbell tried to explain to him.
"I don't understand." Ezra needed confirmation of what he thought this man was telling him.
"It's like your five years old again Ezra instead of, . . . what, twenty eight, twenty nine." Campbell chose this moment to look up at the intense green eyes, he saw the shock before they were once again filled with confusion. "You need to let whatever happened go Ezra before you can go on. It's holding you back."
"I'm sorry, I still don't get what your trying to say." But he did.
"You need to forgive your father for whatever it was he did. You have to tell him that you forgive him."
"But she said it was my fault." Ezra muttered as the tears filled his eyes.
"EZRA!" Chris yelled at him. "Why do you keep blaming yourself for everything that ever happened to you!"
"Because my mother kept telling me that it was my fault he left!" Ezra yelled back at him.
"How can it be the fault of a five year old?" Campbell asked him.
"It wasn't" Ezra admitted to himself. "I know it wasn't, my friends convinced me that things like that aren't my fault but sometimes . . . I wonder if he would have stayed if things were better."
"Do you forgive him Ezra?" Campbell lifted his damp face with his hands.
"I can't." Ezra didn't pull his head from the gentle grip. "I can't. Please I don't want to talk about him anymore."
"Okay, you can't forgive him, how about accepting what happened, how about taking back control of your life?" He also didn't remove his hand. "Let it go Ezra, don't let him control you anymore." He felt Ezra try to move his head away so he made his grip firmer. "Ezra! I want you to say, I'm not going to let my father control my life anymore."
"What?" Ezra knew what he wanted and also knew what it meant.
"Your letting a man who has been dead for nearly twenty eight years control your life and your emotions. It's not your friends, it's not the fact that you had so much trouble dealing with your emotions. You accepted them, you began to deal with them but Josiah began to remind you of a dead man and you let that man's memory take control of you."
The realisation hit him, that's exactly what had been happening, his father was in his mind twenty-four hours a day, and he couldn't get rid of him.
"I'm not going to let my father control my life anymore." Ezra repeated as the tears refilled his eyes.
"I'm going to take back control of my life. I'm in control." Campbell nodded to him, indicating that he wanted him to repeat what he had just said.
"I'm going to take back control of my life." Ezra hesitated. "I'm in control."
"Tell him you forgive him."
"I forgive you father." Ezra said it before he could stop himself. "Oh god!" He could hear his own heart wrenching sobs but he couldn't stop, the emotions were finally escaping, he looked around for his friends.
"Chris! Buck! Help me please!"
Campbell got off the bed when he heard Ezra's friends coming towards him, he stepped back and watched Chris take him into his arms and as Buck put an arm around his shoulders. He knew that it was only the beginning for Ezra.
Ezra put his arms around Chris and held on tightly as the tears continued, he didn't want to let go. He couldn't believe that he had forgiven his father for what he had done. He had loved him once but that love quickly turned into hatred, a hatred that he never thought would change into forgiveness. Ezra could feel the pain tearing through his side and the blood that began to flow from the freshly opened wound but he couldn't stop, he no longer wanted to stop.
Chris could feel Ezra's emotional tremors as they tore through his body, he knew that he would be feeling a lot of pain in his side but he wasn't going to stop him from letting out the emotions that had refused to come out for the last two weeks. He didn't bother to try to wipe the tears that fell from his own face, he looked over Ezra's damp head at Buck and saw that he was the same, he allowed a smile to creep onto his face, and Buck returned it.
Doctor Campbell watched for a few minutes then prepared something that would help Ezra sleep, it was something that the young man now needed to do. He waited patiently for another twenty minutes before the tears finally began to ease, he moved forward and knelt down beside Ezra.
"Ezra?" He saw the damp eyes open and look at him, he smiled back at the dimples that appeared on the young face. "I want you to drink this, it'll help you sleep."
"It's not that stuff you gave me before is it?" Ezra sniffed and wiped at his cheeks. "I mean anyone would think that you were trying to kill me with that stuff." Ezra's smile grew when he heard his friends laugh.
"Did I miss the joke?" Campbell asked him.
"Yeah you did." Buck laughed as he used the palm of his hand to wipe the tears from his eyes.
Ezra pushed himself off Chris's damp shirt and cried out in pain at the movement. He felt Buck's hands on his shoulders as he supported his weight. He used a shaking hand to take the cup from the Doctor and quickly drank the foul tasting liquid.
"Your worse than Nathan." Ezra muttered as he allowed himself to fall back onto Chris's chest, he could feel his friend’s heartbeat and it lulled him into the first peaceful sleep that he'd had in weeks.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
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