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azombiewritesTitle: Loyalties
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, Chris, Buck and the rest of the guys.
Summary: When JD and Ezra are placed in a life-threatening situation, Ezra finds out where Buck's loyalties lie.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 25,256
Chris didn't take his eyes off the building in front of him, he wouldn't relax until his men were with him, and he still had a nagging feeling that was continuing to eat away at him. He had decided that fate intended to interfere, something was still going to go wrong. His worst fears became reality when he heard the first gunshot. He moved forward with the intention of protecting his men, but movement in the alley caught his eye, he yelled a warning to the two agents with him and then dived for cover behind the large blue garbage bin that was across the street from the warehouse. It had rusted through in areas, large gaping holes allowed the sunlight to shine through but Chris thought it would still allow him enough protection to save his life.
He opened fire at the two men who were dressed in black. He had a bad feeling about this. It was beginning to look more like a set up than a bust. It was obvious that they were after someone in the building, someone in Team Seven because they had waited for the undercover agents of Team Eight to leave the building. He listened as Vin and Buck joined him in disposing of the two men. It only took a few seconds, their own gunfire stopped but the sounds still reverberated through the warehouse.
The sounds of gunfire ended as abruptly as they had started, he hesitated long enough to hear Nathan report that they were okay. He began to walk across the street while he waited for JD and Ezra to call in. Chris listened as Buck called out to JD. There was no response, the man beside him continued to talk into his headset, his own voice joined him but his concern was not only aimed at JD but also Ezra. He had been worried about his undercover agent since the operation had begun that morning, it was as though he had a premonition emotionally, not physically.
Chris entered the building carefully, his eyes adjusted quickly, he scanned the floor for any sign of danger, what he saw caused his heart to drop. He ran towards Ezra and JD, he didn't acknowledge his own voice when he reported that he had two agents down.
"JD!" Buck yelled as he knelt down beside JD. "Ezra you were supposed to watch his back, what the hell happened?"
"Not now Buck." Chris told him, he was already using his eyes to check Ezra over. "Ezra? You okay?"
"Just great Mr Larabee." Ezra grumbled. "JD?"
"He's unconscious." Buck growled at him.
"Vin go up and help Josiah, send Nathan down." Chris looked over his shoulder at him, he could see the concern on his face, and he knew that his own held the same image, the pain that contorted Ezra's face told them that he was in serious trouble. "Buck, you go out and wait for the medics."
"I want to stay and make sure that JD's alright." Buck argued.
"And I want to make sure that JD and Ezra are alright. You’re not blaming anything on Ezra until we know what happened." Chris growled at him but he kept his voice low hoping that Ezra wouldn't hear him, but he forgot about the headset.
"I know what happened Chris." Buck spoke with confidence.
"So do I Buck but my idea doesn't agree with yours." Chris said in defence of Ezra.
"I don't want to interrupt your argument but I really don't want to hear this now." Ezra spoke with a strained voice.
"Medics Buck, now!" Chris turned away from him and back to Ezra. He heard Buck's muttered curse but chose to ignore it, he listened as his footsteps faded then stopped altogether.
Chris only had to wait for a short period of time before he heard Nathan's loud footsteps on the stairs, he knew he was running, he felt him come to a stop and kneel down next to him.
"Ezra?" Nathan leant over him. The ex-medic had been instantly concerned when Vin told him that Ezra and JD had been hurt.
"Check JD first." Ezra spoke through gritted teeth and he wasn't sure if Nathan understood him because the larger man was hesitant, he was about to repeat his demand when Nathan moved away, his face was replaced with Chris'.
"Where does it hurt Ezra?" Chris asked him.
"From the waist up." Ezra even managed a smile. "JD?"
"He's got a nasty bump on the head Ezra." Nathan explained from his position next to JD. "Might have a concussion but apart from that he seems to be okay."
"Good, for a moment there I thought I killed him." Ezra told them. "I pushed him into the hole in the floor."
Chris looked up, it was obvious that the second floor had been damaged enough for them to fall through it as well. "For his protection." Chris nodded, he fingered the bullet holes that he found in Ezra's vest, when his finger entered the fifth bullet hole he felt the thick warm moisture on his fingers. "Nathan." Chris lifted his fingers when Nathan turned to look at him, the blood dripped from the long calloused fingers.
"Some protection." Ezra grimaced, even the light touch that Chris was applying to his chest caused him pain, and his eyes were squeezed tightly against the pain that drifted up from his chest to assault his mind.
"We'll go over it later Ezra, that way you'll be more coherent when I convince you that you did the right thing." Chris smiled down at him, he didn't like lying to the Southerner but he also didn't want him to know how seriously he was hurt.
"Are you going to protect me in . . . the mean time?" Ezra seriously asked his leader, he saw the confusion on Chris' face. "Buck."
"You don't need . . . "
"I can still receive . . . on my mike Chris." Ezra informed him, he smiled through his pained expression at the muttered curse that Chris tried to hide behind a cough.
"Chris, move over and let me have a look." Nathan nudged Chris aside and then took his place when he crawled away from Ezra, but he stayed close. "Ezra, you want to tell me where it hurts." He leaned closer to Ezra and placed his hand against the hole that the blood had started to slowly leak from.
"No. You'll just poke and prod me and . . . cause me even more pain." Ezra was unaware of what Nathan was doing to him.
"I'm going to prod and poke anyway Ezra, you may as well tell me, and it’ll save you a lot of trouble and pain." The concern that he felt sounded in Nathan's voice.
Ezra looked up at his friend and saw the serious expression that he held, he gave up, the pain in his chest was worsening and he was beginning to find it hard to breath. "I think my left shoulder is . . . dislocated, my ribs are . . . broken and my chest hurts like . . . hell."
"Is that all." Nathan raised his eyebrows at him.
"No but I'm sure . . . there will be when Buck's . . . finished with me." Ezra looked over his shoulder at JD's back.
"Buck!" Chris questioned the man waiting for the medics. "Are the paramedics here yet?"
"They'll be here in about ten minutes." Buck replied. "How's JD?"
'Shit' Chris thought to himself, he looked across at Nathan, he knew what he was thinking. He was trying to decide if they should put Ezra and JD in a car and take them to the hospital but as the seconds passed, he realised that Nathan had decided that it was best to keep Ezra still.
"How bad is JD hurt?" Buck demanded when his question of concern wasn't answered.
Chris had had enough, the expression on Ezra's face caused the anger to explode. "BUCK! SHUT UP! That's an order!" He turned back to Ezra. "I'll make sure he apologises when I explain what happened."
"He'll say it but he . . . won’t mean it." Ezra muttered, he wished the darkness would just take him away.
"Ezra," Nathan spoke to him and got his attention, "it may take a while for them to get here . . . "
"And?" Ezra stared at him through narrow eyelids.
"I'm going to put your shoulder back in place . . . " Nathan reached out and grabbed the retreating Southerner, who wasn't really going anywhere, the pain saw to that. "Ezra if I don't then it'll be harder to put back in place, there will be less pain now for you."
"Aw hell Nathan." Ezra knew how much it hurt, it had happened during the first operation they did together, he had fallen when he was fired upon and the left shoulder dislocated, Nathan had expertly put it back in place, but it had hurt like hell, he didn't want that again, not on top of the pain that he was already feeling.
"Let's get you on your back first Ezra." Nathan gently rolled Ezra over onto his back, he winced when Ezra voiced his pain, and he knew there was going to be even more pain and that he was the person that was going to cause it. "I'll be as quick as I can Ezra."
"Just do . . . " Ezra's scream interrupted his words.
Nathan used the distraction to grab Ezra's arm with his right hand, he placed his left hand firmly against the undercover agent's shoulder then pulled the shoulder joint back into place. The ex-medic put a calming hand on Ezra's forehead and waited until the painful tremors subsided, his other hand pressed against the wound in his chest. Ezra was still unaware of the fact that one of the bullets had pierced the jacket.
Chris gripped Ezra's shaking right hand and squeezed it tightly. He tried to reassure him with a simple gesture of physical contact when he knew that he wouldn't be able to say the words that would comfort the younger man. He felt Ezra try to pull his hand away, this only caused the leader of the group of different personalities to grip the hand even tighter. Ezra relented and allowed the usually difficult man to hold his hand. It was a form of emotional comfort that he wasn't use to. Even his own mother had never given him the physical contact that a normal childhood was full of. He didn't know what it meant to feel physical contact.
Nathan continued to apply pressure to the wound in the Southerner's chest as the minutes passed, the distant sirens broke the silence that hovered over the four men. He used his free hand to wipe Ezra's forehead, eyelids flew open to reveal green eyes that were filled with pain. Nathan wanted to ease that pain but there was nothing that could be done until the medics arrived. He knew it would be at least another five minutes. The empty area that was filled with abandoned buildings was silent enough for them to hear distant noises. In an occupied area, they wouldn't have heard the sirens until they were practically on their doorstep.
"A few more minutes Ezra." Nathan felt the nod under his large hand.
The minutes continued to pass slowly, Chris felt the tremors work their way through his undercover agent, the pain-filled orbs were hidden behind closed eyelids but there was a permanent grimace on the handsome face before him. He wanted to talk to him, to reassure him that he was going to be okay but he wasn't confident of his survival himself. He was worried about the gunshot wound.
"Medics are here!" Chris heard Buck's voice as they ran towards them but his eyes kept a permanent watch on Ezra's pale contorted features.
"We'll get you out in a minute Ezra." Nathan told him. He stood up and looked into the face of the young paramedic who was mirroring his gaze. "One's unconscious and the other has multiple fractures."
"What?" Buck muttered, he had heard Ezra's scream but didn't ask due to Chris' anger.
"Chris!" Ezra's voice was a hoarse whisper. He was beginning to think that something was wrong, there was an intense pain that was centered in his chest, he didn't remember that part of his body impacting with the floor, it was something else, and it had to be.
"Hang in there Ezra, just hang in there for me okay." Chris wiped the hair that was beginning to drip with sweat from Ezra's forehead.
The medic knelt down next to Ezra while his partner began to examine JD.
"He has a bullet wound to the chest, ribs on his left side may be broken, his left shoulder was dislocated, and I put it back in place." Nathan informed the medic.
"What's his name?" The blond medic asked as he adjusted his eyeglasses.
"Ezra." Nathan sat back down on his heels.
"Ezra? My name's Chad, I'm going to quickly check you over to find out what injuries you have. Okay?"
Ezra nodded and turned his frightened eyes towards Chris. He took strength from the man who was finding it hard to comfort him, he could see the concern on his face, it was a different and welcomed expression from the one of anger that he had projected towards him since that morning.
Chad lifted the eyelids and checked the pupils of the injured ATF agent and expertly carried out a quick examination, he then used his gentle touch to check the bullet wound that Ezra was yet to be told existed.
"Simon how is the other patient?" Chad questioned his partner.
"He has a head injury, no doubt a concussion, and no other visible injuries." Simon reported, he flicked his long ponytail back over his shoulder then joined his partner by Ezra's side.
"Broken ribs on the left side, dislocated shoulder that has been put back into place and a bullet wound to the chest." Chad repeated nearly word for word what Nathan had told him. "We move this one first."
"Okay." Simon headed back to the ambulance to retrieve a gurney with collapsible legs.
"Did he say . . . what I thought he . . . said?" Ezra asked Chris, he saw the hesitant nod then looked away from him.
Chris squeezed Ezra's hand then looked towards Buck, he felt his anger boil, so far he had shown absolutely no concern towards Ezra, he hadn't asked how he was doing, even at the mention of the bullet wound. His angry blue eyes moved back to Ezra to find that he was once again returning his stare, he smiled down at him but the emotion that he tried to display was not returned. He hid the confusion that he was now feeling.
The darkly dressed leader moved out of the way when the longhaired medic named Simon wheeled the gurney to a position close to Ezra. He then left again to get the second gurney for JD.
"Help me get Ezra onto it." Simon lifted Ezra's legs and Nathan took his shoulders, he had to ignore the cry of pain that was forced out between clenched teeth as they moved the injured man onto the gurney.
Chris didn't let go of Ezra's hand, he jogged alongside the gurney. "Nathan, you and Buck stay here and help clean up. That's an order." He called out over his shoulder before he had to let go to allow the gurney and medic to fit through the door.
He moved quickly so he could catch up and once again hold Ezra's hand, he had seen the fear of the unknown in his agent's eyes, and he didn't want him to be alone. He stepped up into the ambulance and sat on the gurney, he was careful not to sit on Ezra's legs. He had to wait a couple of minutes for JD to join him and Ezra in the back of the ambulance. The speed that the vehicle used to leave the area caused Chris to worry even more. He watched as the medic called Chad inserted an IV unit into the back of Ezra's right hand. The saline solution began to drip through the thin clear plastic tube.
________________________________________
Chris lifted his eyes to look at the clock above him, the minutes were now passing slowly, too slowly, and only forty-five minutes had gone by since the large nurse in green scrubs stopped him from following Ezra and JD through to the emergency rooms. His cold hard look hadn't scared the woman, she had given him the appropriate forms and pointed in the direction of the waiting room. He wished that time would go faster, he didn't think he could cope waiting for news on Ezra's condition, he'd been assured in the ambulance by Chad that JD would be fine but he hadn't offered any advice on Ezra pulling through that scared him. His troubled blue eyes looked down at the admission forms, only the first form for Ezra's admission had been completed, he'd put his own name down as Ezra's next of kin. He knew it would take too long to contact Ezra's mother, he wouldn't have any idea where to start looking. He scratched his head and realised that he still wore his headset, he looked down to see the bulletproof jacket that still covered his upper body. Chris put the clipboard aside and removed both articles from his body.
The man who had given Ezra Standish a second chance threw the confusing admission forms away and leant over his knees, his elbows were positioned on the knees and he placed his face in the palm of his hands as his mind remembered distant memories. The thought of loosing another person in his life nearly tore him apart. He didn't know Ezra well but he connected with the man, he knew if Ezra let him in that they could become close friends but the Southerner went out of his way to keep him and the rest of the team from getting close. Why? He knew that a lack of trust was one reason. He knew that the agent hadn't had any friends in the FBI, that's why they had turned their backs on him so easily when the rumours started. Judge Travis had once told him that you couldn't trust a person if they were difficult to know and that was Ezra. He was a man that was very difficult to get to know.
If there were other reasons, he was still unaware of them. Ezra had never given away any of his secrets, he never spoke about his childhood or family, all he knew was what was in his file. He only knew about his mother, Maude Standish, because she had phoned the office looking for her son, Ezra had taken the call privately in his office. Chris watched the man carefully whenever he had the opportunity and tried to get into his mind but it seemed as though Ezra had been aware of his intentions and always led him down a wrong path. Ezra had a way of changing a person's direction without them knowing it until it was too late. That's why he was the best undercover agent around, nobody could take on another personality like he could, and he had a way of gaining a criminal's trust, even their friendship. It was something he didn't do with his workmates, Chris wished he knew why.
Chris thought about the other members of the team. Vin trusted Ezra and the ex-bounty had a way of reading people, if he trusted and liked the Southerner then so did he. Vin had been a loner, like Ezra, when he first joined the team but unlike Ezra, he had no trouble committing himself to a friendship and social life with his new workmates. Josiah had taken the younger man under his wing at the first sign of aloofness, he seemed to think that Ezra was a troubled young man who needed someone to help him through life. On his first attempt of giving Ezra that guidance, the young man had taken him aside and calmly spoke to him. Josiah returned to the group with a look of confusion on his face, he had said that even though he was unaware of what Ezra had said, Chris smiled at the thought of Ezra's large vocabulary that he thought he'd just been told off.
After the friendly conversation, Josiah continued to look out for Ezra and take care of him but at a distance, he thought that Ezra was unaware of his continuing guidance but Chris wasn't so sure. Ezra was the type of person who made sure that he was aware of his surroundings and what was going on in the social domain that he kept himself from existing in. Maybe Ezra just wasn't ready to push it, he didn't want another enemy within his own team. Buck and Nathan were the enemies, Buck didn't trust him and Nathan just didn't like him. But Chris knew he could be trusted, even after running out on the first operation, the trust had been there, the agent had thought that he wasn't trusted, he wasn't willing to go through the same fight all over again.
And as to being liked, the man was likeable, he had a sense of humour, he had a way with people and it was fascinating to watch him work. The way he was able to get himself out of a fix with the use of words was remarkable and Chris always looked forward to the confrontations that he had with the man. If only Ezra didn't get him so angry but then that was part of the game, he usually broke first and Ezra knew just how to make him break. Chris also knew that deep down Ezra had a caring nature, he just wasn't willing to show the better person to the rest of the world.
________________________________________
Vin stepped through the open doorway that would take him into the waiting room, the sight of his friend's body position caused him to stop in his tracks. His concern for Ezra grew. Nathan had told them everything about Ezra's injuries, also JD's. They knew JD was going to be alright but neither man knew about Ezra. The team was worried about their fallen teammate.
"Chris." Vin's tone was neutral but was filled with reassurance that he himself didn't feel. He knew that Chris would need someone to help him through this if Ezra didn't make it. The two men weren't close, you wouldn't even consider them as friends but Chris would feel responsible for Ezra's injuries and if they resulted in his death, the guilt that he would feel would be devastating. He had gone through it once before when his wife and son were killed. This would be no different, the same guilt would result from any of the team's death.
Chris lifted his head at the sound of Vin's voice, he could see the confidence in his features but his light blue eyes told a different story, he was worried. He looked at the faces of the men who stood behind him. They were waiting patiently for Vin to move into the waiting room so they could follow, their faces were also full of concern, even Buck's. Chris knew that concern wasn't for Ezra, it was for JD.
The leader of the team of men who stood before him looked above the worried expressions at the clock, two hours had passed. His gaze turned back to the floor. Vin couldn't help but see that the bright blue eyes were now dull. He walked towards the empty chair that was next to Chris and sat down, he leant over and picked up the admissions forms that were on the floor. Only one had been completed, he looked at the others and placed the forms in the open palm of the usually emotionally strong ex-medic. Nathan had offered to complete them.
"Heard anything yet?" Vin knew the answer already but he knew the rest of the team needed confirmation.
"No." Chris answered simply.
"You okay?" The ex-bounty hunter continued.
"I'm fine." Chris lied.
"No, but you will be." Vin squeezed his shoulder in support.
________________________________________
Chris Larabee was pacing, his feet shuffling across the carpet. He no longer had the energy or the need to make any effort to lift his feet and place the heel of his boot down first. The agent was tired of waiting, his patience had run out long ago. He turned once again and headed towards the chairs that his men occupied. All but two of his men. He took in Buck's solemn features, he realised that the ladies man hadn't voiced his concern for JD since his arrival. At that moment in time, he didn't care. He turned again, and like each time he turned, he looked at the clock above the door. His men had been in the waiting room with him for thirty minutes, that made it two and half hours since the ambulance brought in his two injured men.
He reached the door and turned, he looked straight into the eyes of Vin Tanner. Chris made to step around him but he was intercepted. He gave up, Vin could be a force to reckon with when he was serious. Chris let out a sigh and his shoulders slumped. He ran his right hand through his hair and looked away from the man who stood before him.
"Nathan told us about Ezra's injuries." Vin explained.
"Umm . . . " Chris was confused.
"Particularly Buck, that's why he hasn't said anything." Vin continued. He actually enjoyed the look of confusion on his friend's face. He just hoped that it wouldn't turn into an expression of mourning.
Chris looked over Vin's shoulder at Buck. "A bit of guilt will do him the world of good."
Vin smiled in understanding and stepped aside, when he did he saw a Doctor coming towards them.
"Doctor's coming."
Chris watched as his men stood up, the hope that they felt was clearly written on their faces. He didn't feel the same way.
"Would one of you gentlemen be Chris Larabee?" The Doctor asked.
"I'm Chris Larabee." Chris took the offered hand and shook it. The grip was firm considering the man looked too thin to be healthy. The fine greying beard made his face look pale and his brown eyes seemed hollow with a permanent shadow beneath them.
"My name is Dr Mortimer, I'm Mr Dunne's doctor." He finished shaking Chris' hand and looked at the other men.
"How is he?" Buck stepped forward to stand next to Chris.
"He's fine, a slight concussion and some bruising." he explained to them as he looked at each man in turn.
"We did a skull x-ray and cat scan, they were both clear. We're going to keep him overnight just to be sure but I'm confident that there won’t be any complications."
"What about Ezra?" Chris asked with a small hint of anger in his voice.
"Ezra?" The Doctor turned from Buck to look at Chris.
"Ezra Standish, he came in with JD." Chris told him.
"I'm sorry I don't have any information on Mr Standish . . . "
"Then I suggest that you go and get some information on Ezra's condition." Chris growled at him.
"I'm sure that his Doctor will be with you soon, he'll be able to . . . " He stepped back from the cold glare that was aimed in his direction.
"I wasn't asking you, I'm telling you. Go and find out what you can!" Chris only waited a moment. "Now!"
"There is no need to be like this . . . " The Doctor started once again.
"Yes there is, I've been waiting for nearly three hours and no one has told me how my undercover agent is doing. I want to know and I want to know now!"
Dr Mortimer opened his mouth to argue but at the shake of Vin's head, he changed his mind and walked away from the confrontation that he had become an unwilling participant of.
Chris returned to the empty chair that he had occupied for two hours to continue the wait. But he didn't have to wait long , a second doctor arrived. He walked into the waiting room and was assaulted by the appearance of five men. His green eyes took in each man then settled on Chris Larabee.
"Doctor Henderson." The heavyset man introduced himself but returned his hand to his side when the man in front of him ignored his attempt to shake his hand.
"I want to know how Ezra is." This was Chris' only attempt at an introduction with the doctor.
"He's going to be fine, we're moving him to a recovery room now." The doctor looked down at his stained scrubs as though to emphasize a point. "The bullet that entered his chest didn't go very deep so it wasn't that serious but he does have some severe bruising on his chest. Three ribs are broken and there is bruising on his hip."
"I want to see him." Chris demanded.
"We'll be moving him to a private room later, you can see him then." Henderson answered.
"I'm going to see him now and I want him moved into the same room as JD Dunne." Chris took the doctor's arm and led him out of the room. The expression on his face stopped the doctor from protesting against his demands.
The others hesitated then followed, they also wanted to see their friends and Buck was anxious to talk to JD to find out what had happened. He regretted not showing concern towards Ezra but he still thought that the Southerner hadn't done his job and that's why they had been injured.
________________________________________
They sat around the two beds in the large private room. Buck sat next to JD, they had talked earlier but Chris had stopped them from discussing what had happened. He wanted to do it professionally in the office, he also wanted Ezra to be present so he could defend himself against any allegations that Buck might make. Chris noticed that Buck constantly looked towards Ezra's bed, it was though he wanted to say something but the mistrust that he felt towards Ezra stopped him.
Chris' objectionable view told him what had happened. Ezra had put his own life on the line to protect JD. He knew that he would do it and wondered if he thought they would give their own lives for him. Chris knew that he himself and Vin would do it. Josiah too. JD would now after what happened, he would return the favour. He wasn't sure about Nathan and Buck but after this situation was over and they knew the facts that they would. Ezra's efforts to protect one of the team finally made him a permanent member of a team of men who would now trust him fully with their lives.
Chris rubbed his tired eyes. Everyone else had managed to get some sleep but he couldn't. He hadn't moved from Ezra's side, he didn't want him to wake up thinking that he was alone. This was the type of situation when a person needed their friends, they needed the concern and comfort that they would give them. He knew that Ezra didn't consider them as friends but that wasn't going to stop them from helping the agent through his ordeal. It would be a first for them, it was the first time that Ezra had been injured in the line of duty or his personal life while he was with the team.
He looked back towards Ezra and watched when the Southerner rolled his head to the side. He waited. Chris wasn't sure if he was waking or if the movement was caused by a dream. The movement repeated itself.
"Ezra?" It was only a whisper, he didn't want to wake him if he was asleep.
"Ezra?" He spoke louder when he saw the eyelids flutter open to slowly reveal the green orbs that had been hidden from him since they brought him to the room fourteen hours ago.
Ezra's eyes focused on the person leaning over him, it took a few minutes for him to recognise Chris Larabee. The man who hadn't been truthful with him about his injuries but then neither had Nathan. But what else could he expect from people who didn't trust or like him.
"Doctor says you’re going to be fine Ezra, you just need plenty of rest." Chris assured him. He remembered the fear that he'd seen in the Southerner's eyes when he found out he'd been shot.
Ezra nodded, it was all he could do. He didn't dare move, he knew the broken ribs would cause him a lot of pain. He could feel the bandage that strapped his left arm to his chest and supported the ribs
"I don't want you to tell me what happened yet, we'll wait a few days." Chris squeezed the hand he was holding.
"Buck." Ezra managed to croak as he pulled his hand from Chris' grip. He wasn't afraid of his teammate, he just wasn't physically able to defend himself and it was something that he wanted to be able to do when the accusations were thrown in his direction. And he knew Buck wasn't going to be the only one.
"He won’t say or do anything." He smiled at the man before him, he thought that something else was wrong.
"Why don't you get some rest Ezra."
"JD?" Ezra tried to turn his head to look around the room, but stopped when the pain in his shoulder and chest ignited.
"He's fine Ezra, he'll be going home in a few hours." Chris told him.
Ezra closed his eyes and rolled his head away from his associate, it wasn't long before he was asleep again.
"Any idea what's wrong." Chris asked the man that sat in the corner of the room, he knew that Vin was
awake.
"I'd say he's taking responsibility like he always does, and probably thinks that he'd be blamed for it. He was always the scapegoat at the FBI, he doesn't think that it'll be any different here." Vin offered.
"That's what I was thinking." Chris agreed.
________________________________________
Ezra woke to the sounds of an argument, he recognised the voices and knew the argument would be the same as it always was. The two men could never agree on anything. A whispered voice told them to be quiet and when the argument continued the whispered voice grew in volume.
"Would you please take it outside." Ezra added to the reprimand.
"Sorry Ezra." JD apologised.
Buck stayed silent though.
Nathan moved closer to Ezra's bed and placed his hand on the Southerner's forehead. The slight fever that he had during the night was now gone. The ex-medic poured some cold water into a cup and allowed Ezra to take a small drink through a straw.
"Better?" Nathan asked.
Even though Nathan's voice told him that he was sincere with his concern, Ezra couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the man. "Yes thank you."
"Are you in a lot of pain?" Nathan asked. "I could get a nurse or find your Doctor."
Ezra raised the eyebrow he'd just lowered. He was confused as to why this man was being nice to him. Nathan had always given him the impression that he didn't like him. "Yeah a bit."
"I'll go and find the nurse, see if she can give you something." Nathan patted Ezra's uninjured shoulder then walked away from the bed. He was unaware of Ezra's eyes watching his departure.
"Ezra." Chris interrupted his agent's watching gaze.
Ezra turned towards the leader of the team that he thought he would no longer be a part of. They would make him the scapegoat, just as they did in the FBI. He was expendable.
"You okay?" Chris frowned at him.
Ezra raised another eyebrow, what was with the strange attention that was being given to him.
"I don't mean physically, that would be a stupid question. I'm talking about emotionally." Chris elaborated.
"I'm fine." It wasn't a lie. Ezra accepted his fate, he knew it would happen one day.
No one was going to take him on after this, he would have to revert back to his old line of work. The one his mother taught him. Poker, and conning people out of their life savings. He didn't want to, but what else was there. Undercover work was his life but now that life would be over.
"You'll be okay Ezra, none of this was your fault. You did the right thing, all of us would have done the same. You won’t be blamed for anything." Chris explained. "You'll probably get a commendation for saving JD's life."
"I was doing my job." Ezra protested calmly.
"Yes you were and you did it well, like you always do Ezra. I'm glad to have you on my team and you’re going to stay." Chris enjoyed the confused expression that Ezra's face held. "And when the doctor says you can leave, you’re going to stay at my place." He saw that his agent was about to argue with him. "That's an
order Ezra."
Ezra closed his mouth and nodded in resignation.
________________________________________
Ezra shifted in the large chair that was provided for him, he knew he was under scrutiny, as he had been for the past week. He winced at the pain that went through his side, there was also a slight twinge in his chest but he ignored it, the pain wasn't as bad as his side. He looked around the conference room and made sure that his eyes didn't make contact with his leader. The meeting was due to start in thirty minutes. He was early because Chris had dragged him out of bed at five, the sun didn't even get up that early.
His mind travelled over the events of the past ten days, he hadn't been left alone in the hospital. Chris, Vin and Josiah took turns staying during the night, he had argued that he didn't need anyone but his protests fell on deaf ears. And JD had been a constant unwelcomed visitor during the day. Ezra had been glad that the younger man was alright but he always became over exuberant after the first couple of hours. Nathan also visited during the day, something that the Southerner was uncomfortable with. Buck had not visited. Chris had explained that he was no longer angry or blamed him for JD's injuries but Ezra knew that he still didn't trust him.
Then Chris had taken him to the Larabee home. Ezra had gotten to the point where the out of character concern was aggravating him. The anger that he'd felt was taken out on those around him. In some cases the anger was returned with a vengeance, Chris was apparently enjoying the game that he was now winning. Ezra wasn't use to losing, having people worry about him or take care of him. It was something that his mother had never done or anyone else. He didn't know how to react to it so he had resorted to his anger.
"You okay?" Chris asked when he saw Ezra wince when his body shifted.
"Fine." Ezra retorted.
The undercover agent knew he shouldn't be angry but he was sick of the concern, he didn't know what to do about it and the people around him didn't seem to realise that, it they had they would have given him more room instead of smothering him.
"You don't seem fine." Chris replied with a smile.
"If you let me go back to my own home and stop treating me like a child then perhaps I would be more 'fine'." The agent snapped back.
"You're not use to it are you?" Chris asked him.
"Use to what?" Ezra tried to kept the surprise off his face and play dumb.
Chris continued to observe Ezra Standish. After spending so much time with the man over more than a week, he'd realised that he didn't understand or know the man. He was more than aloof, he was arrogant, moody, disrespectful and very angry. He seemed to go even more out of his way to keep everyone at a distance. He argued with all of them. He wouldn't do what he was asked, he always insisted that he was quite capable of taking care of himself. It was only when he had fallen over in the bathroom and injuring himself more, that he accepted a small amount of help.
He lifted his blue eyes to look at the fading bruise and healing abrasion on Ezra's right forehead. He silently sighed. The man was as stubborn as a mule and there seemed to be nothing that he could do about it. But he wasn't just stubborn, he was also lonely, and it was even more obvious when he was within a group of people. It also turned out that Ezra had a very hard time accepting concern, probably because he had never received it before he joined this team. But Chris was determined to make the man realise that he was worthy of the caring emotions that they felt towards him.
"Being taken care of, having people worry about you." Chris continued to smile, he was finally winning the game that the two men played and he was going to enjoy every minute of it because once things were back to normal Ezra would then be winning as he always did.
"I don't need to be taken care of or have people worry about me." Ezra growled. "I can take care of myself."
"I can tell by the bump on your head that you are quite capable of taking care of yourself." His slight chuckle seemed to make Ezra even more angry.
Ezra tried to calm himself by drinking some of his coffee. The room fell silent once more but he knew that his boss continued to watch him. He glanced over at him, the smile on the man's face caused him to grimace in return. Fine, if that's what he wanted he would play the game.
"Why?" Ezra asked. His voice was a hoarse whisper.
"Why what?" Chris raised his eyebrows.
Ezra coughed into his hand and Chris could see that he felt awkward about what he was going to say.
"Why do you care? Why do you worry about me? Why all of this?" Ezra made sure that his voice sounded more confident even though the inner man didn't.
"You're one of my men." Chris answered simply.
"You feel obliged to?"
Chris leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table, it was going to take a lot to convince Ezra that they truthfully do care about him. It was unfortunate though that the care they felt didn't happen until after he almost lost his life saving JD's. Chris regretted that. He knew that there was something good in the man who sat before him, it was another reason why he gave him a second chance. Vin also saw it, but Ezra's aloofness hid it from the rest of the men.
"I care about all of my men, not because I have to but because I want to. And as to worrying about you. Ezra, you give me and the others cause to worry about you. You take risks that no other man on this team would. You care more about the others lives than your own and I don't understand why."
"They have more to lose than I do and I believe that you and the others wouldn't like the idea that I survived instead of one of the others." Ezra admitted.
"Not true Ezra, you’re an equal on this team in all areas."
"Tell that to Buck." Ezra looked away towards the open doorway. He wished that he hadn't asked the question.
"I already have." Chris was serious. He had spoken to Buck the day after it happened. Chris had insisted that Buck apologised which was something that he was yet to do but he would make sure that he did it at this meeting in front of everyone.
"But does he trust me?" Ezra still wouldn't look at Chris.
"After what you did for JD! Of course he trusts you, the whole team now trust you with their own lives." Chris assured him.
"Uh huh." Ezra mumbled. The conversation was over, he wasn't going to talk about it anymore.
Chris noticed the facial expression that told him that Ezra was finished with the conversation, he had seen if often during the time that Ezra was staying with him. He wasn't going to let him leave until the end of the week that was four days away.
"Why do you think we shouldn't care?" Chris saw the flicker of hurt that crossed the handsome features. He saw the tongue flick out over the bottom lip in a nervous reaction to the question. "Ezra."
Ezra turned to look at Chris. The answer was something he'd never spoken about, he never had anyone to talk to about it. Actually, no one had ever asked him this type of question before, they hadn't been interested in how he felt about things.
"There's nothing to care about." He looked down at his hands.
"I think there are a lot of things in you that a person can care about." Chris frowned at his agent.
Ezra had always seemed cocky, confident in his life and his abilities. This was the first time that he had shown a different, scary side of his personality.
"Mr Larabee, if that was true then why did I go through life without someone caring about me." Ezra looked up but when he found Chris' concerned gaze staring at him he looked back down. He couldn't talk about this sort of thing face to face.
"Your mother cares about you." Chris told him but a nagging doubt filled his mind, a feeling that Ezra confirmed in words.
"She has never cared. That's why she sent me to boarding schools so she didn't have to deal with me. I spent holidays with relatives or I stayed at the school. It was only when I was older that she spent more time with me and that was to teach me her trade. To make me take part in her cons."
"That explains a lot Ezra." Chris now understood Ezra's personality a lot more.
"What do you mean?" Ezra became suspicious and finally looked the man who considered himself to be his friend.
"It explains why you won't let people get close to you, why you stay away from social events." He leaned forward even more and saw Ezra flinch under his gaze. "What are you afraid of Ezra?"
"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Ezra stated.
"You've been alone all your life." He was correct in his assumption, the expression on Ezra's face told him that he was. "Haven't you?"
"It's by choice." Ezra answered. His voice no longer held the false confidence that he tried to show.
"I don't believe that."
"But I believe it." Ezra faced him again. "It's the only way I can deal with it."
"You don't have to anymore Ezra. You have friends now who care about you." Chris pushed himself away from the desk and stood up.
"I don't have friends, I have associates." Ezra argued.
"You may think that now Ezra but give yourself a few months and you'll accept us as caring friends. You may even begin to care about us but you already showed that you do by saving JD's life." Chris reached his agent's chair and placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. "Just give yourself a chance Ezra."
"You were angry on the day it happened. Why? What did I do to deserve that anger?" Ezra felt the hand apply more pressure to his shoulder.
"You didn't deserve it Ezra." Chris pulled out the chair and sat down next to his agent. "I had a feeling that something was going to go wrong that day. And like I said before, you take risks. I was worried that the feeling I had might have something to do with you. I didn't want to be angry at you Ezra, I couldn't help myself. You have a way about you. Besides, I was losing the game."
"You always lose the game Chris, you should stop playing." Ezra smiled at the man next to him.
"Not until I win Ezra."
"That will never happen."
"Would you care to bet on that Mr Standish?" Chris raised an eyebrow and looked sideways at Ezra. He could see that some of the tension had left his face.
"I do love the sound of that word Mr Larabee." Ezra left it to Chris to make the wager.
"Are you corrupting our leader Ezra?" Vin walked into the conference in time to hear the wager being made. He moved to the only empty chair next to Ezra, it was as though he and Chris were his protectors who wanted to stay close to their charge.
"I corrupted him." Chris admitted.
"Now that I could believe." Vin smiled then looked at Ezra. "How you doin' Ezra?"
"My side is sore but apart from that I'm okay." Ezra smiled in return.
"And your head?" Vin winked at Chris. He could tell that Ezra's mood had improved, he would have to ask Chris what he said to him.
"You know, thick skull, takes a lot to break it." Ezra slumped down in his chair and yawned.
"That and stubbornness." Vin couldn't help himself.
"Being stubborn could be a good thing." Ezra protested.
"Depends on who's being stubborn." Chris joined the verbal assaults.
"I'm only stubborn when someone gets me up at five in the morning. You know I'm not a morning person." Ezra yawned again.
"All part of the game Ezra." Chris commented seriously.
"Game?" Vin looked at both men. The smirks told him that something was going on that he didn't know about.
"I'll tell you about it after I win." Chris said.
"That will never happen." Ezra repeated.
"I think I will." Chris retorted. He knew he wouldn't win the game, but that was okay, it wasn't his intention to win. What he wanted to do was bring Ezra into the group, make him a part of it. Have him become friends with the rest of the team and get him involved socially. When that happened then Chris would be the winner. Ezra just wouldn't know it.
Ezra could hear the voices as they made their way down the hall towards the meeting room. It wasn't the way he wanted to continue the already bad day. JD could be too energetic at this particular time of the day. And Buck. He still had a problem with Buck. The voices became louder as they got closer. The two men entered the room and made their way to the seats opposite the three men. JD sat across from Ezra and Buck sat opposite Chris.
Ezra could feel Buck's eyes staring at him but he refused to acknowledge him. He knew he was being childish but he had reasons to be. He hadn't seen Buck since he took JD home from the hospital. If he no longer blamed him for what happened then why did he refuse to see him. No apology had been given, he hadn't thanked Ezra for saving JD's life. Ezra had come to the conclusion that Buck did still feel the same way. He still didn't trust him and he still blamed him for JD's injuries.
But that no longer bothered him because he didn't trust Buck Wilmington. Ezra wasn't sure if he could trust the others either, he didn't think that they would believe he was worth taking a bullet for, or even dying for. Chris said they did. It would take on-the-job experience to prove it to him. He had learnt to watch his own back and take care of himself, it was a way of life for him. When the rumors of him being on the take began at the FBI, he'd lost all trust in his fellow agents. They stopped watching his back, they weren't willing to die for an 'assumed' crooked agent.
"Morning guys." JD smiled cheerfully at the three men opposite him.
He received two cheerful replies and one grunted. The younger agent frowned at Ezra but the man who had saved his life looked away. JD looked at Chris but the man just shrugged back at him. Buck had stayed silent while he continued to watch Ezra.
Nathan and Josiah were the last to enter the room. Josiah sat next to JD and looked at Ezra. He knew something was still wrong and that the something was Buck. But hopefully that situation would come to an end at the close of this meeting. Nathan sat next to Buck. His brown eyes looked over Ezra physically. Because he was the ex-medic of the group, it was only natural that he take care of the members of the team when one of them was injured.
"How ya feelin' Ezra?" JD asked. His attempt at starting a conversation failed.
"I'm fine JD." Ezra answered.
"You sure?" Nathan wanted confirmation.
"He's sure." Chris interrupted. "Now let’s get on with business."
Chris opened the first folder on his desk and looked sideways at Ezra. It was the undercover agent's report on what had happened. It had been hand written and then typed up by one of the other members of the team. The most appropriate member. Buck Wilmington.
"Has everyone read Ezra's report that Buck so kindly typed up for him." Chris saw the flicker of a smile play on Ezra's lips. He hid the smirk that threatened to break out on his own features. Chris remembered the expression on Buck's face when he ordered him to type up the report, the expression was then filled with guilt when he returned it. He knew they had, he just wanted to make a point. "So now we all know what really happened. Don't we Buck?"
"Yes." Buck grumbled in return.
Ezra glared at the ladies man when an apology or thank you didn't follow the short statement.
"Did Team Eight come up with anything?" Vin asked as he also hid the smile that began to creep onto his face. It had been a good morning when Buck finished Ezra's report.
"They got an ID on four of the six we killed." Chris went through the short list of names but none of his team recognised them.
"They're still checking out the people who knew about the operation?" Josiah continued the questions.
"Yeah, but they don't have anything yet." Chris confirmed the lack of success.
"And no one has any idea why it happened." Vin looked around at Chris. "I mean the drug dealers wouldn't have gone to all that trouble. Normally they just wouldn't show up."
"They have talked about a few things but nothing that sounds interesting." Chris nodded in agreement.
"They were after JD." Ezra commented to no one in particular, his green eyes were looking down at his hands.
"What makes you think that." Buck's voice was quiet but menacing.
"Because I know how to do my job." Ezra allowed his anger to show.
"Are you saying that I don't." Buck leaned forward.
Ezra didn't move, but his eyes looked up at the man across the table, his body language showing his confidence. "Yes."
"Ezra!" Chris growled at him but his angry blue eyes stared at Buck. Both men understood the warning.
"You want to explain why you think they were after JD." Vin nudged Ezra with his elbow.
"The first man distracted me while the second one stepped forward and aimed his gun directly at JD. I believe it was his intention to shoot JD." Ezra explained.
"Why would anyone want to kill me?" JD was shocked. He hadn't been in the ATF long enough to make any enemies.
"To get at Buck." Ezra suggested.
All eyes turned to Ezra then Buck.
"Why would you think that?" Chris asked him.
"Because it's easy to make enemies when you have a personality like Mr Wilmington's" Ezra smiled at Buck.
"Ezra!" Chris warned him a second time.
"Ezra could have a point." Vin agreed with the Southerner.
"About his personality?" Ezra looked sideways at Vin and felt the hand that slapped the back of his head. He turned around and looked at the angry expression on his leader's face. He decided to keep his mouth shut from now on.
"Any thoughts on the matter Buck and I mean the case." Chris stared at Buck.
"I don't know who would want to hurt me." Buck answered truthfully. "Or why they would kill JD to do it."
"Let's find out then shall we. You can start going through your past case files. JD can help you." Chris ordered. "Nathan and Josiah, you can help Team Eight do the checks on our people, see if anything unusual comes up. We need to know how the information on the operation got out. Then maybe we can get the name that's behind all of this."
"And what are you going to do?" Josiah asked as he pushed himself out of his chair. His tall frame towered over the men who sat around the table.
"We're going to take Ezra home, give him some breakfast, have a chat, then put him to bed." Chris smiled.
"What?" Ezra was shocked.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
Master Fan Fiction List
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, Chris, Buck and the rest of the guys.
Summary: When JD and Ezra are placed in a life-threatening situation, Ezra finds out where Buck's loyalties lie.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 25,256
Chris didn't take his eyes off the building in front of him, he wouldn't relax until his men were with him, and he still had a nagging feeling that was continuing to eat away at him. He had decided that fate intended to interfere, something was still going to go wrong. His worst fears became reality when he heard the first gunshot. He moved forward with the intention of protecting his men, but movement in the alley caught his eye, he yelled a warning to the two agents with him and then dived for cover behind the large blue garbage bin that was across the street from the warehouse. It had rusted through in areas, large gaping holes allowed the sunlight to shine through but Chris thought it would still allow him enough protection to save his life.
He opened fire at the two men who were dressed in black. He had a bad feeling about this. It was beginning to look more like a set up than a bust. It was obvious that they were after someone in the building, someone in Team Seven because they had waited for the undercover agents of Team Eight to leave the building. He listened as Vin and Buck joined him in disposing of the two men. It only took a few seconds, their own gunfire stopped but the sounds still reverberated through the warehouse.
The sounds of gunfire ended as abruptly as they had started, he hesitated long enough to hear Nathan report that they were okay. He began to walk across the street while he waited for JD and Ezra to call in. Chris listened as Buck called out to JD. There was no response, the man beside him continued to talk into his headset, his own voice joined him but his concern was not only aimed at JD but also Ezra. He had been worried about his undercover agent since the operation had begun that morning, it was as though he had a premonition emotionally, not physically.
Chris entered the building carefully, his eyes adjusted quickly, he scanned the floor for any sign of danger, what he saw caused his heart to drop. He ran towards Ezra and JD, he didn't acknowledge his own voice when he reported that he had two agents down.
"JD!" Buck yelled as he knelt down beside JD. "Ezra you were supposed to watch his back, what the hell happened?"
"Not now Buck." Chris told him, he was already using his eyes to check Ezra over. "Ezra? You okay?"
"Just great Mr Larabee." Ezra grumbled. "JD?"
"He's unconscious." Buck growled at him.
"Vin go up and help Josiah, send Nathan down." Chris looked over his shoulder at him, he could see the concern on his face, and he knew that his own held the same image, the pain that contorted Ezra's face told them that he was in serious trouble. "Buck, you go out and wait for the medics."
"I want to stay and make sure that JD's alright." Buck argued.
"And I want to make sure that JD and Ezra are alright. You’re not blaming anything on Ezra until we know what happened." Chris growled at him but he kept his voice low hoping that Ezra wouldn't hear him, but he forgot about the headset.
"I know what happened Chris." Buck spoke with confidence.
"So do I Buck but my idea doesn't agree with yours." Chris said in defence of Ezra.
"I don't want to interrupt your argument but I really don't want to hear this now." Ezra spoke with a strained voice.
"Medics Buck, now!" Chris turned away from him and back to Ezra. He heard Buck's muttered curse but chose to ignore it, he listened as his footsteps faded then stopped altogether.
Chris only had to wait for a short period of time before he heard Nathan's loud footsteps on the stairs, he knew he was running, he felt him come to a stop and kneel down next to him.
"Ezra?" Nathan leant over him. The ex-medic had been instantly concerned when Vin told him that Ezra and JD had been hurt.
"Check JD first." Ezra spoke through gritted teeth and he wasn't sure if Nathan understood him because the larger man was hesitant, he was about to repeat his demand when Nathan moved away, his face was replaced with Chris'.
"Where does it hurt Ezra?" Chris asked him.
"From the waist up." Ezra even managed a smile. "JD?"
"He's got a nasty bump on the head Ezra." Nathan explained from his position next to JD. "Might have a concussion but apart from that he seems to be okay."
"Good, for a moment there I thought I killed him." Ezra told them. "I pushed him into the hole in the floor."
Chris looked up, it was obvious that the second floor had been damaged enough for them to fall through it as well. "For his protection." Chris nodded, he fingered the bullet holes that he found in Ezra's vest, when his finger entered the fifth bullet hole he felt the thick warm moisture on his fingers. "Nathan." Chris lifted his fingers when Nathan turned to look at him, the blood dripped from the long calloused fingers.
"Some protection." Ezra grimaced, even the light touch that Chris was applying to his chest caused him pain, and his eyes were squeezed tightly against the pain that drifted up from his chest to assault his mind.
"We'll go over it later Ezra, that way you'll be more coherent when I convince you that you did the right thing." Chris smiled down at him, he didn't like lying to the Southerner but he also didn't want him to know how seriously he was hurt.
"Are you going to protect me in . . . the mean time?" Ezra seriously asked his leader, he saw the confusion on Chris' face. "Buck."
"You don't need . . . "
"I can still receive . . . on my mike Chris." Ezra informed him, he smiled through his pained expression at the muttered curse that Chris tried to hide behind a cough.
"Chris, move over and let me have a look." Nathan nudged Chris aside and then took his place when he crawled away from Ezra, but he stayed close. "Ezra, you want to tell me where it hurts." He leaned closer to Ezra and placed his hand against the hole that the blood had started to slowly leak from.
"No. You'll just poke and prod me and . . . cause me even more pain." Ezra was unaware of what Nathan was doing to him.
"I'm going to prod and poke anyway Ezra, you may as well tell me, and it’ll save you a lot of trouble and pain." The concern that he felt sounded in Nathan's voice.
Ezra looked up at his friend and saw the serious expression that he held, he gave up, the pain in his chest was worsening and he was beginning to find it hard to breath. "I think my left shoulder is . . . dislocated, my ribs are . . . broken and my chest hurts like . . . hell."
"Is that all." Nathan raised his eyebrows at him.
"No but I'm sure . . . there will be when Buck's . . . finished with me." Ezra looked over his shoulder at JD's back.
"Buck!" Chris questioned the man waiting for the medics. "Are the paramedics here yet?"
"They'll be here in about ten minutes." Buck replied. "How's JD?"
'Shit' Chris thought to himself, he looked across at Nathan, he knew what he was thinking. He was trying to decide if they should put Ezra and JD in a car and take them to the hospital but as the seconds passed, he realised that Nathan had decided that it was best to keep Ezra still.
"How bad is JD hurt?" Buck demanded when his question of concern wasn't answered.
Chris had had enough, the expression on Ezra's face caused the anger to explode. "BUCK! SHUT UP! That's an order!" He turned back to Ezra. "I'll make sure he apologises when I explain what happened."
"He'll say it but he . . . won’t mean it." Ezra muttered, he wished the darkness would just take him away.
"Ezra," Nathan spoke to him and got his attention, "it may take a while for them to get here . . . "
"And?" Ezra stared at him through narrow eyelids.
"I'm going to put your shoulder back in place . . . " Nathan reached out and grabbed the retreating Southerner, who wasn't really going anywhere, the pain saw to that. "Ezra if I don't then it'll be harder to put back in place, there will be less pain now for you."
"Aw hell Nathan." Ezra knew how much it hurt, it had happened during the first operation they did together, he had fallen when he was fired upon and the left shoulder dislocated, Nathan had expertly put it back in place, but it had hurt like hell, he didn't want that again, not on top of the pain that he was already feeling.
"Let's get you on your back first Ezra." Nathan gently rolled Ezra over onto his back, he winced when Ezra voiced his pain, and he knew there was going to be even more pain and that he was the person that was going to cause it. "I'll be as quick as I can Ezra."
"Just do . . . " Ezra's scream interrupted his words.
Nathan used the distraction to grab Ezra's arm with his right hand, he placed his left hand firmly against the undercover agent's shoulder then pulled the shoulder joint back into place. The ex-medic put a calming hand on Ezra's forehead and waited until the painful tremors subsided, his other hand pressed against the wound in his chest. Ezra was still unaware of the fact that one of the bullets had pierced the jacket.
Chris gripped Ezra's shaking right hand and squeezed it tightly. He tried to reassure him with a simple gesture of physical contact when he knew that he wouldn't be able to say the words that would comfort the younger man. He felt Ezra try to pull his hand away, this only caused the leader of the group of different personalities to grip the hand even tighter. Ezra relented and allowed the usually difficult man to hold his hand. It was a form of emotional comfort that he wasn't use to. Even his own mother had never given him the physical contact that a normal childhood was full of. He didn't know what it meant to feel physical contact.
Nathan continued to apply pressure to the wound in the Southerner's chest as the minutes passed, the distant sirens broke the silence that hovered over the four men. He used his free hand to wipe Ezra's forehead, eyelids flew open to reveal green eyes that were filled with pain. Nathan wanted to ease that pain but there was nothing that could be done until the medics arrived. He knew it would be at least another five minutes. The empty area that was filled with abandoned buildings was silent enough for them to hear distant noises. In an occupied area, they wouldn't have heard the sirens until they were practically on their doorstep.
"A few more minutes Ezra." Nathan felt the nod under his large hand.
The minutes continued to pass slowly, Chris felt the tremors work their way through his undercover agent, the pain-filled orbs were hidden behind closed eyelids but there was a permanent grimace on the handsome face before him. He wanted to talk to him, to reassure him that he was going to be okay but he wasn't confident of his survival himself. He was worried about the gunshot wound.
"Medics are here!" Chris heard Buck's voice as they ran towards them but his eyes kept a permanent watch on Ezra's pale contorted features.
"We'll get you out in a minute Ezra." Nathan told him. He stood up and looked into the face of the young paramedic who was mirroring his gaze. "One's unconscious and the other has multiple fractures."
"What?" Buck muttered, he had heard Ezra's scream but didn't ask due to Chris' anger.
"Chris!" Ezra's voice was a hoarse whisper. He was beginning to think that something was wrong, there was an intense pain that was centered in his chest, he didn't remember that part of his body impacting with the floor, it was something else, and it had to be.
"Hang in there Ezra, just hang in there for me okay." Chris wiped the hair that was beginning to drip with sweat from Ezra's forehead.
The medic knelt down next to Ezra while his partner began to examine JD.
"He has a bullet wound to the chest, ribs on his left side may be broken, his left shoulder was dislocated, and I put it back in place." Nathan informed the medic.
"What's his name?" The blond medic asked as he adjusted his eyeglasses.
"Ezra." Nathan sat back down on his heels.
"Ezra? My name's Chad, I'm going to quickly check you over to find out what injuries you have. Okay?"
Ezra nodded and turned his frightened eyes towards Chris. He took strength from the man who was finding it hard to comfort him, he could see the concern on his face, it was a different and welcomed expression from the one of anger that he had projected towards him since that morning.
Chad lifted the eyelids and checked the pupils of the injured ATF agent and expertly carried out a quick examination, he then used his gentle touch to check the bullet wound that Ezra was yet to be told existed.
"Simon how is the other patient?" Chad questioned his partner.
"He has a head injury, no doubt a concussion, and no other visible injuries." Simon reported, he flicked his long ponytail back over his shoulder then joined his partner by Ezra's side.
"Broken ribs on the left side, dislocated shoulder that has been put back into place and a bullet wound to the chest." Chad repeated nearly word for word what Nathan had told him. "We move this one first."
"Okay." Simon headed back to the ambulance to retrieve a gurney with collapsible legs.
"Did he say . . . what I thought he . . . said?" Ezra asked Chris, he saw the hesitant nod then looked away from him.
Chris squeezed Ezra's hand then looked towards Buck, he felt his anger boil, so far he had shown absolutely no concern towards Ezra, he hadn't asked how he was doing, even at the mention of the bullet wound. His angry blue eyes moved back to Ezra to find that he was once again returning his stare, he smiled down at him but the emotion that he tried to display was not returned. He hid the confusion that he was now feeling.
The darkly dressed leader moved out of the way when the longhaired medic named Simon wheeled the gurney to a position close to Ezra. He then left again to get the second gurney for JD.
"Help me get Ezra onto it." Simon lifted Ezra's legs and Nathan took his shoulders, he had to ignore the cry of pain that was forced out between clenched teeth as they moved the injured man onto the gurney.
Chris didn't let go of Ezra's hand, he jogged alongside the gurney. "Nathan, you and Buck stay here and help clean up. That's an order." He called out over his shoulder before he had to let go to allow the gurney and medic to fit through the door.
He moved quickly so he could catch up and once again hold Ezra's hand, he had seen the fear of the unknown in his agent's eyes, and he didn't want him to be alone. He stepped up into the ambulance and sat on the gurney, he was careful not to sit on Ezra's legs. He had to wait a couple of minutes for JD to join him and Ezra in the back of the ambulance. The speed that the vehicle used to leave the area caused Chris to worry even more. He watched as the medic called Chad inserted an IV unit into the back of Ezra's right hand. The saline solution began to drip through the thin clear plastic tube.
________________________________________
Chris lifted his eyes to look at the clock above him, the minutes were now passing slowly, too slowly, and only forty-five minutes had gone by since the large nurse in green scrubs stopped him from following Ezra and JD through to the emergency rooms. His cold hard look hadn't scared the woman, she had given him the appropriate forms and pointed in the direction of the waiting room. He wished that time would go faster, he didn't think he could cope waiting for news on Ezra's condition, he'd been assured in the ambulance by Chad that JD would be fine but he hadn't offered any advice on Ezra pulling through that scared him. His troubled blue eyes looked down at the admission forms, only the first form for Ezra's admission had been completed, he'd put his own name down as Ezra's next of kin. He knew it would take too long to contact Ezra's mother, he wouldn't have any idea where to start looking. He scratched his head and realised that he still wore his headset, he looked down to see the bulletproof jacket that still covered his upper body. Chris put the clipboard aside and removed both articles from his body.
The man who had given Ezra Standish a second chance threw the confusing admission forms away and leant over his knees, his elbows were positioned on the knees and he placed his face in the palm of his hands as his mind remembered distant memories. The thought of loosing another person in his life nearly tore him apart. He didn't know Ezra well but he connected with the man, he knew if Ezra let him in that they could become close friends but the Southerner went out of his way to keep him and the rest of the team from getting close. Why? He knew that a lack of trust was one reason. He knew that the agent hadn't had any friends in the FBI, that's why they had turned their backs on him so easily when the rumours started. Judge Travis had once told him that you couldn't trust a person if they were difficult to know and that was Ezra. He was a man that was very difficult to get to know.
If there were other reasons, he was still unaware of them. Ezra had never given away any of his secrets, he never spoke about his childhood or family, all he knew was what was in his file. He only knew about his mother, Maude Standish, because she had phoned the office looking for her son, Ezra had taken the call privately in his office. Chris watched the man carefully whenever he had the opportunity and tried to get into his mind but it seemed as though Ezra had been aware of his intentions and always led him down a wrong path. Ezra had a way of changing a person's direction without them knowing it until it was too late. That's why he was the best undercover agent around, nobody could take on another personality like he could, and he had a way of gaining a criminal's trust, even their friendship. It was something he didn't do with his workmates, Chris wished he knew why.
Chris thought about the other members of the team. Vin trusted Ezra and the ex-bounty had a way of reading people, if he trusted and liked the Southerner then so did he. Vin had been a loner, like Ezra, when he first joined the team but unlike Ezra, he had no trouble committing himself to a friendship and social life with his new workmates. Josiah had taken the younger man under his wing at the first sign of aloofness, he seemed to think that Ezra was a troubled young man who needed someone to help him through life. On his first attempt of giving Ezra that guidance, the young man had taken him aside and calmly spoke to him. Josiah returned to the group with a look of confusion on his face, he had said that even though he was unaware of what Ezra had said, Chris smiled at the thought of Ezra's large vocabulary that he thought he'd just been told off.
After the friendly conversation, Josiah continued to look out for Ezra and take care of him but at a distance, he thought that Ezra was unaware of his continuing guidance but Chris wasn't so sure. Ezra was the type of person who made sure that he was aware of his surroundings and what was going on in the social domain that he kept himself from existing in. Maybe Ezra just wasn't ready to push it, he didn't want another enemy within his own team. Buck and Nathan were the enemies, Buck didn't trust him and Nathan just didn't like him. But Chris knew he could be trusted, even after running out on the first operation, the trust had been there, the agent had thought that he wasn't trusted, he wasn't willing to go through the same fight all over again.
And as to being liked, the man was likeable, he had a sense of humour, he had a way with people and it was fascinating to watch him work. The way he was able to get himself out of a fix with the use of words was remarkable and Chris always looked forward to the confrontations that he had with the man. If only Ezra didn't get him so angry but then that was part of the game, he usually broke first and Ezra knew just how to make him break. Chris also knew that deep down Ezra had a caring nature, he just wasn't willing to show the better person to the rest of the world.
________________________________________
Vin stepped through the open doorway that would take him into the waiting room, the sight of his friend's body position caused him to stop in his tracks. His concern for Ezra grew. Nathan had told them everything about Ezra's injuries, also JD's. They knew JD was going to be alright but neither man knew about Ezra. The team was worried about their fallen teammate.
"Chris." Vin's tone was neutral but was filled with reassurance that he himself didn't feel. He knew that Chris would need someone to help him through this if Ezra didn't make it. The two men weren't close, you wouldn't even consider them as friends but Chris would feel responsible for Ezra's injuries and if they resulted in his death, the guilt that he would feel would be devastating. He had gone through it once before when his wife and son were killed. This would be no different, the same guilt would result from any of the team's death.
Chris lifted his head at the sound of Vin's voice, he could see the confidence in his features but his light blue eyes told a different story, he was worried. He looked at the faces of the men who stood behind him. They were waiting patiently for Vin to move into the waiting room so they could follow, their faces were also full of concern, even Buck's. Chris knew that concern wasn't for Ezra, it was for JD.
The leader of the team of men who stood before him looked above the worried expressions at the clock, two hours had passed. His gaze turned back to the floor. Vin couldn't help but see that the bright blue eyes were now dull. He walked towards the empty chair that was next to Chris and sat down, he leant over and picked up the admissions forms that were on the floor. Only one had been completed, he looked at the others and placed the forms in the open palm of the usually emotionally strong ex-medic. Nathan had offered to complete them.
"Heard anything yet?" Vin knew the answer already but he knew the rest of the team needed confirmation.
"No." Chris answered simply.
"You okay?" The ex-bounty hunter continued.
"I'm fine." Chris lied.
"No, but you will be." Vin squeezed his shoulder in support.
________________________________________
Chris Larabee was pacing, his feet shuffling across the carpet. He no longer had the energy or the need to make any effort to lift his feet and place the heel of his boot down first. The agent was tired of waiting, his patience had run out long ago. He turned once again and headed towards the chairs that his men occupied. All but two of his men. He took in Buck's solemn features, he realised that the ladies man hadn't voiced his concern for JD since his arrival. At that moment in time, he didn't care. He turned again, and like each time he turned, he looked at the clock above the door. His men had been in the waiting room with him for thirty minutes, that made it two and half hours since the ambulance brought in his two injured men.
He reached the door and turned, he looked straight into the eyes of Vin Tanner. Chris made to step around him but he was intercepted. He gave up, Vin could be a force to reckon with when he was serious. Chris let out a sigh and his shoulders slumped. He ran his right hand through his hair and looked away from the man who stood before him.
"Nathan told us about Ezra's injuries." Vin explained.
"Umm . . . " Chris was confused.
"Particularly Buck, that's why he hasn't said anything." Vin continued. He actually enjoyed the look of confusion on his friend's face. He just hoped that it wouldn't turn into an expression of mourning.
Chris looked over Vin's shoulder at Buck. "A bit of guilt will do him the world of good."
Vin smiled in understanding and stepped aside, when he did he saw a Doctor coming towards them.
"Doctor's coming."
Chris watched as his men stood up, the hope that they felt was clearly written on their faces. He didn't feel the same way.
"Would one of you gentlemen be Chris Larabee?" The Doctor asked.
"I'm Chris Larabee." Chris took the offered hand and shook it. The grip was firm considering the man looked too thin to be healthy. The fine greying beard made his face look pale and his brown eyes seemed hollow with a permanent shadow beneath them.
"My name is Dr Mortimer, I'm Mr Dunne's doctor." He finished shaking Chris' hand and looked at the other men.
"How is he?" Buck stepped forward to stand next to Chris.
"He's fine, a slight concussion and some bruising." he explained to them as he looked at each man in turn.
"We did a skull x-ray and cat scan, they were both clear. We're going to keep him overnight just to be sure but I'm confident that there won’t be any complications."
"What about Ezra?" Chris asked with a small hint of anger in his voice.
"Ezra?" The Doctor turned from Buck to look at Chris.
"Ezra Standish, he came in with JD." Chris told him.
"I'm sorry I don't have any information on Mr Standish . . . "
"Then I suggest that you go and get some information on Ezra's condition." Chris growled at him.
"I'm sure that his Doctor will be with you soon, he'll be able to . . . " He stepped back from the cold glare that was aimed in his direction.
"I wasn't asking you, I'm telling you. Go and find out what you can!" Chris only waited a moment. "Now!"
"There is no need to be like this . . . " The Doctor started once again.
"Yes there is, I've been waiting for nearly three hours and no one has told me how my undercover agent is doing. I want to know and I want to know now!"
Dr Mortimer opened his mouth to argue but at the shake of Vin's head, he changed his mind and walked away from the confrontation that he had become an unwilling participant of.
Chris returned to the empty chair that he had occupied for two hours to continue the wait. But he didn't have to wait long , a second doctor arrived. He walked into the waiting room and was assaulted by the appearance of five men. His green eyes took in each man then settled on Chris Larabee.
"Doctor Henderson." The heavyset man introduced himself but returned his hand to his side when the man in front of him ignored his attempt to shake his hand.
"I want to know how Ezra is." This was Chris' only attempt at an introduction with the doctor.
"He's going to be fine, we're moving him to a recovery room now." The doctor looked down at his stained scrubs as though to emphasize a point. "The bullet that entered his chest didn't go very deep so it wasn't that serious but he does have some severe bruising on his chest. Three ribs are broken and there is bruising on his hip."
"I want to see him." Chris demanded.
"We'll be moving him to a private room later, you can see him then." Henderson answered.
"I'm going to see him now and I want him moved into the same room as JD Dunne." Chris took the doctor's arm and led him out of the room. The expression on his face stopped the doctor from protesting against his demands.
The others hesitated then followed, they also wanted to see their friends and Buck was anxious to talk to JD to find out what had happened. He regretted not showing concern towards Ezra but he still thought that the Southerner hadn't done his job and that's why they had been injured.
________________________________________
They sat around the two beds in the large private room. Buck sat next to JD, they had talked earlier but Chris had stopped them from discussing what had happened. He wanted to do it professionally in the office, he also wanted Ezra to be present so he could defend himself against any allegations that Buck might make. Chris noticed that Buck constantly looked towards Ezra's bed, it was though he wanted to say something but the mistrust that he felt towards Ezra stopped him.
Chris' objectionable view told him what had happened. Ezra had put his own life on the line to protect JD. He knew that he would do it and wondered if he thought they would give their own lives for him. Chris knew that he himself and Vin would do it. Josiah too. JD would now after what happened, he would return the favour. He wasn't sure about Nathan and Buck but after this situation was over and they knew the facts that they would. Ezra's efforts to protect one of the team finally made him a permanent member of a team of men who would now trust him fully with their lives.
Chris rubbed his tired eyes. Everyone else had managed to get some sleep but he couldn't. He hadn't moved from Ezra's side, he didn't want him to wake up thinking that he was alone. This was the type of situation when a person needed their friends, they needed the concern and comfort that they would give them. He knew that Ezra didn't consider them as friends but that wasn't going to stop them from helping the agent through his ordeal. It would be a first for them, it was the first time that Ezra had been injured in the line of duty or his personal life while he was with the team.
He looked back towards Ezra and watched when the Southerner rolled his head to the side. He waited. Chris wasn't sure if he was waking or if the movement was caused by a dream. The movement repeated itself.
"Ezra?" It was only a whisper, he didn't want to wake him if he was asleep.
"Ezra?" He spoke louder when he saw the eyelids flutter open to slowly reveal the green orbs that had been hidden from him since they brought him to the room fourteen hours ago.
Ezra's eyes focused on the person leaning over him, it took a few minutes for him to recognise Chris Larabee. The man who hadn't been truthful with him about his injuries but then neither had Nathan. But what else could he expect from people who didn't trust or like him.
"Doctor says you’re going to be fine Ezra, you just need plenty of rest." Chris assured him. He remembered the fear that he'd seen in the Southerner's eyes when he found out he'd been shot.
Ezra nodded, it was all he could do. He didn't dare move, he knew the broken ribs would cause him a lot of pain. He could feel the bandage that strapped his left arm to his chest and supported the ribs
"I don't want you to tell me what happened yet, we'll wait a few days." Chris squeezed the hand he was holding.
"Buck." Ezra managed to croak as he pulled his hand from Chris' grip. He wasn't afraid of his teammate, he just wasn't physically able to defend himself and it was something that he wanted to be able to do when the accusations were thrown in his direction. And he knew Buck wasn't going to be the only one.
"He won’t say or do anything." He smiled at the man before him, he thought that something else was wrong.
"Why don't you get some rest Ezra."
"JD?" Ezra tried to turn his head to look around the room, but stopped when the pain in his shoulder and chest ignited.
"He's fine Ezra, he'll be going home in a few hours." Chris told him.
Ezra closed his eyes and rolled his head away from his associate, it wasn't long before he was asleep again.
"Any idea what's wrong." Chris asked the man that sat in the corner of the room, he knew that Vin was
awake.
"I'd say he's taking responsibility like he always does, and probably thinks that he'd be blamed for it. He was always the scapegoat at the FBI, he doesn't think that it'll be any different here." Vin offered.
"That's what I was thinking." Chris agreed.
________________________________________
Ezra woke to the sounds of an argument, he recognised the voices and knew the argument would be the same as it always was. The two men could never agree on anything. A whispered voice told them to be quiet and when the argument continued the whispered voice grew in volume.
"Would you please take it outside." Ezra added to the reprimand.
"Sorry Ezra." JD apologised.
Buck stayed silent though.
Nathan moved closer to Ezra's bed and placed his hand on the Southerner's forehead. The slight fever that he had during the night was now gone. The ex-medic poured some cold water into a cup and allowed Ezra to take a small drink through a straw.
"Better?" Nathan asked.
Even though Nathan's voice told him that he was sincere with his concern, Ezra couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the man. "Yes thank you."
"Are you in a lot of pain?" Nathan asked. "I could get a nurse or find your Doctor."
Ezra raised the eyebrow he'd just lowered. He was confused as to why this man was being nice to him. Nathan had always given him the impression that he didn't like him. "Yeah a bit."
"I'll go and find the nurse, see if she can give you something." Nathan patted Ezra's uninjured shoulder then walked away from the bed. He was unaware of Ezra's eyes watching his departure.
"Ezra." Chris interrupted his agent's watching gaze.
Ezra turned towards the leader of the team that he thought he would no longer be a part of. They would make him the scapegoat, just as they did in the FBI. He was expendable.
"You okay?" Chris frowned at him.
Ezra raised another eyebrow, what was with the strange attention that was being given to him.
"I don't mean physically, that would be a stupid question. I'm talking about emotionally." Chris elaborated.
"I'm fine." It wasn't a lie. Ezra accepted his fate, he knew it would happen one day.
No one was going to take him on after this, he would have to revert back to his old line of work. The one his mother taught him. Poker, and conning people out of their life savings. He didn't want to, but what else was there. Undercover work was his life but now that life would be over.
"You'll be okay Ezra, none of this was your fault. You did the right thing, all of us would have done the same. You won’t be blamed for anything." Chris explained. "You'll probably get a commendation for saving JD's life."
"I was doing my job." Ezra protested calmly.
"Yes you were and you did it well, like you always do Ezra. I'm glad to have you on my team and you’re going to stay." Chris enjoyed the confused expression that Ezra's face held. "And when the doctor says you can leave, you’re going to stay at my place." He saw that his agent was about to argue with him. "That's an
order Ezra."
Ezra closed his mouth and nodded in resignation.
________________________________________
Ezra shifted in the large chair that was provided for him, he knew he was under scrutiny, as he had been for the past week. He winced at the pain that went through his side, there was also a slight twinge in his chest but he ignored it, the pain wasn't as bad as his side. He looked around the conference room and made sure that his eyes didn't make contact with his leader. The meeting was due to start in thirty minutes. He was early because Chris had dragged him out of bed at five, the sun didn't even get up that early.
His mind travelled over the events of the past ten days, he hadn't been left alone in the hospital. Chris, Vin and Josiah took turns staying during the night, he had argued that he didn't need anyone but his protests fell on deaf ears. And JD had been a constant unwelcomed visitor during the day. Ezra had been glad that the younger man was alright but he always became over exuberant after the first couple of hours. Nathan also visited during the day, something that the Southerner was uncomfortable with. Buck had not visited. Chris had explained that he was no longer angry or blamed him for JD's injuries but Ezra knew that he still didn't trust him.
Then Chris had taken him to the Larabee home. Ezra had gotten to the point where the out of character concern was aggravating him. The anger that he'd felt was taken out on those around him. In some cases the anger was returned with a vengeance, Chris was apparently enjoying the game that he was now winning. Ezra wasn't use to losing, having people worry about him or take care of him. It was something that his mother had never done or anyone else. He didn't know how to react to it so he had resorted to his anger.
"You okay?" Chris asked when he saw Ezra wince when his body shifted.
"Fine." Ezra retorted.
The undercover agent knew he shouldn't be angry but he was sick of the concern, he didn't know what to do about it and the people around him didn't seem to realise that, it they had they would have given him more room instead of smothering him.
"You don't seem fine." Chris replied with a smile.
"If you let me go back to my own home and stop treating me like a child then perhaps I would be more 'fine'." The agent snapped back.
"You're not use to it are you?" Chris asked him.
"Use to what?" Ezra tried to kept the surprise off his face and play dumb.
Chris continued to observe Ezra Standish. After spending so much time with the man over more than a week, he'd realised that he didn't understand or know the man. He was more than aloof, he was arrogant, moody, disrespectful and very angry. He seemed to go even more out of his way to keep everyone at a distance. He argued with all of them. He wouldn't do what he was asked, he always insisted that he was quite capable of taking care of himself. It was only when he had fallen over in the bathroom and injuring himself more, that he accepted a small amount of help.
He lifted his blue eyes to look at the fading bruise and healing abrasion on Ezra's right forehead. He silently sighed. The man was as stubborn as a mule and there seemed to be nothing that he could do about it. But he wasn't just stubborn, he was also lonely, and it was even more obvious when he was within a group of people. It also turned out that Ezra had a very hard time accepting concern, probably because he had never received it before he joined this team. But Chris was determined to make the man realise that he was worthy of the caring emotions that they felt towards him.
"Being taken care of, having people worry about you." Chris continued to smile, he was finally winning the game that the two men played and he was going to enjoy every minute of it because once things were back to normal Ezra would then be winning as he always did.
"I don't need to be taken care of or have people worry about me." Ezra growled. "I can take care of myself."
"I can tell by the bump on your head that you are quite capable of taking care of yourself." His slight chuckle seemed to make Ezra even more angry.
Ezra tried to calm himself by drinking some of his coffee. The room fell silent once more but he knew that his boss continued to watch him. He glanced over at him, the smile on the man's face caused him to grimace in return. Fine, if that's what he wanted he would play the game.
"Why?" Ezra asked. His voice was a hoarse whisper.
"Why what?" Chris raised his eyebrows.
Ezra coughed into his hand and Chris could see that he felt awkward about what he was going to say.
"Why do you care? Why do you worry about me? Why all of this?" Ezra made sure that his voice sounded more confident even though the inner man didn't.
"You're one of my men." Chris answered simply.
"You feel obliged to?"
Chris leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table, it was going to take a lot to convince Ezra that they truthfully do care about him. It was unfortunate though that the care they felt didn't happen until after he almost lost his life saving JD's. Chris regretted that. He knew that there was something good in the man who sat before him, it was another reason why he gave him a second chance. Vin also saw it, but Ezra's aloofness hid it from the rest of the men.
"I care about all of my men, not because I have to but because I want to. And as to worrying about you. Ezra, you give me and the others cause to worry about you. You take risks that no other man on this team would. You care more about the others lives than your own and I don't understand why."
"They have more to lose than I do and I believe that you and the others wouldn't like the idea that I survived instead of one of the others." Ezra admitted.
"Not true Ezra, you’re an equal on this team in all areas."
"Tell that to Buck." Ezra looked away towards the open doorway. He wished that he hadn't asked the question.
"I already have." Chris was serious. He had spoken to Buck the day after it happened. Chris had insisted that Buck apologised which was something that he was yet to do but he would make sure that he did it at this meeting in front of everyone.
"But does he trust me?" Ezra still wouldn't look at Chris.
"After what you did for JD! Of course he trusts you, the whole team now trust you with their own lives." Chris assured him.
"Uh huh." Ezra mumbled. The conversation was over, he wasn't going to talk about it anymore.
Chris noticed the facial expression that told him that Ezra was finished with the conversation, he had seen if often during the time that Ezra was staying with him. He wasn't going to let him leave until the end of the week that was four days away.
"Why do you think we shouldn't care?" Chris saw the flicker of hurt that crossed the handsome features. He saw the tongue flick out over the bottom lip in a nervous reaction to the question. "Ezra."
Ezra turned to look at Chris. The answer was something he'd never spoken about, he never had anyone to talk to about it. Actually, no one had ever asked him this type of question before, they hadn't been interested in how he felt about things.
"There's nothing to care about." He looked down at his hands.
"I think there are a lot of things in you that a person can care about." Chris frowned at his agent.
Ezra had always seemed cocky, confident in his life and his abilities. This was the first time that he had shown a different, scary side of his personality.
"Mr Larabee, if that was true then why did I go through life without someone caring about me." Ezra looked up but when he found Chris' concerned gaze staring at him he looked back down. He couldn't talk about this sort of thing face to face.
"Your mother cares about you." Chris told him but a nagging doubt filled his mind, a feeling that Ezra confirmed in words.
"She has never cared. That's why she sent me to boarding schools so she didn't have to deal with me. I spent holidays with relatives or I stayed at the school. It was only when I was older that she spent more time with me and that was to teach me her trade. To make me take part in her cons."
"That explains a lot Ezra." Chris now understood Ezra's personality a lot more.
"What do you mean?" Ezra became suspicious and finally looked the man who considered himself to be his friend.
"It explains why you won't let people get close to you, why you stay away from social events." He leaned forward even more and saw Ezra flinch under his gaze. "What are you afraid of Ezra?"
"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Ezra stated.
"You've been alone all your life." He was correct in his assumption, the expression on Ezra's face told him that he was. "Haven't you?"
"It's by choice." Ezra answered. His voice no longer held the false confidence that he tried to show.
"I don't believe that."
"But I believe it." Ezra faced him again. "It's the only way I can deal with it."
"You don't have to anymore Ezra. You have friends now who care about you." Chris pushed himself away from the desk and stood up.
"I don't have friends, I have associates." Ezra argued.
"You may think that now Ezra but give yourself a few months and you'll accept us as caring friends. You may even begin to care about us but you already showed that you do by saving JD's life." Chris reached his agent's chair and placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. "Just give yourself a chance Ezra."
"You were angry on the day it happened. Why? What did I do to deserve that anger?" Ezra felt the hand apply more pressure to his shoulder.
"You didn't deserve it Ezra." Chris pulled out the chair and sat down next to his agent. "I had a feeling that something was going to go wrong that day. And like I said before, you take risks. I was worried that the feeling I had might have something to do with you. I didn't want to be angry at you Ezra, I couldn't help myself. You have a way about you. Besides, I was losing the game."
"You always lose the game Chris, you should stop playing." Ezra smiled at the man next to him.
"Not until I win Ezra."
"That will never happen."
"Would you care to bet on that Mr Standish?" Chris raised an eyebrow and looked sideways at Ezra. He could see that some of the tension had left his face.
"I do love the sound of that word Mr Larabee." Ezra left it to Chris to make the wager.
"Are you corrupting our leader Ezra?" Vin walked into the conference in time to hear the wager being made. He moved to the only empty chair next to Ezra, it was as though he and Chris were his protectors who wanted to stay close to their charge.
"I corrupted him." Chris admitted.
"Now that I could believe." Vin smiled then looked at Ezra. "How you doin' Ezra?"
"My side is sore but apart from that I'm okay." Ezra smiled in return.
"And your head?" Vin winked at Chris. He could tell that Ezra's mood had improved, he would have to ask Chris what he said to him.
"You know, thick skull, takes a lot to break it." Ezra slumped down in his chair and yawned.
"That and stubbornness." Vin couldn't help himself.
"Being stubborn could be a good thing." Ezra protested.
"Depends on who's being stubborn." Chris joined the verbal assaults.
"I'm only stubborn when someone gets me up at five in the morning. You know I'm not a morning person." Ezra yawned again.
"All part of the game Ezra." Chris commented seriously.
"Game?" Vin looked at both men. The smirks told him that something was going on that he didn't know about.
"I'll tell you about it after I win." Chris said.
"That will never happen." Ezra repeated.
"I think I will." Chris retorted. He knew he wouldn't win the game, but that was okay, it wasn't his intention to win. What he wanted to do was bring Ezra into the group, make him a part of it. Have him become friends with the rest of the team and get him involved socially. When that happened then Chris would be the winner. Ezra just wouldn't know it.
Ezra could hear the voices as they made their way down the hall towards the meeting room. It wasn't the way he wanted to continue the already bad day. JD could be too energetic at this particular time of the day. And Buck. He still had a problem with Buck. The voices became louder as they got closer. The two men entered the room and made their way to the seats opposite the three men. JD sat across from Ezra and Buck sat opposite Chris.
Ezra could feel Buck's eyes staring at him but he refused to acknowledge him. He knew he was being childish but he had reasons to be. He hadn't seen Buck since he took JD home from the hospital. If he no longer blamed him for what happened then why did he refuse to see him. No apology had been given, he hadn't thanked Ezra for saving JD's life. Ezra had come to the conclusion that Buck did still feel the same way. He still didn't trust him and he still blamed him for JD's injuries.
But that no longer bothered him because he didn't trust Buck Wilmington. Ezra wasn't sure if he could trust the others either, he didn't think that they would believe he was worth taking a bullet for, or even dying for. Chris said they did. It would take on-the-job experience to prove it to him. He had learnt to watch his own back and take care of himself, it was a way of life for him. When the rumors of him being on the take began at the FBI, he'd lost all trust in his fellow agents. They stopped watching his back, they weren't willing to die for an 'assumed' crooked agent.
"Morning guys." JD smiled cheerfully at the three men opposite him.
He received two cheerful replies and one grunted. The younger agent frowned at Ezra but the man who had saved his life looked away. JD looked at Chris but the man just shrugged back at him. Buck had stayed silent while he continued to watch Ezra.
Nathan and Josiah were the last to enter the room. Josiah sat next to JD and looked at Ezra. He knew something was still wrong and that the something was Buck. But hopefully that situation would come to an end at the close of this meeting. Nathan sat next to Buck. His brown eyes looked over Ezra physically. Because he was the ex-medic of the group, it was only natural that he take care of the members of the team when one of them was injured.
"How ya feelin' Ezra?" JD asked. His attempt at starting a conversation failed.
"I'm fine JD." Ezra answered.
"You sure?" Nathan wanted confirmation.
"He's sure." Chris interrupted. "Now let’s get on with business."
Chris opened the first folder on his desk and looked sideways at Ezra. It was the undercover agent's report on what had happened. It had been hand written and then typed up by one of the other members of the team. The most appropriate member. Buck Wilmington.
"Has everyone read Ezra's report that Buck so kindly typed up for him." Chris saw the flicker of a smile play on Ezra's lips. He hid the smirk that threatened to break out on his own features. Chris remembered the expression on Buck's face when he ordered him to type up the report, the expression was then filled with guilt when he returned it. He knew they had, he just wanted to make a point. "So now we all know what really happened. Don't we Buck?"
"Yes." Buck grumbled in return.
Ezra glared at the ladies man when an apology or thank you didn't follow the short statement.
"Did Team Eight come up with anything?" Vin asked as he also hid the smile that began to creep onto his face. It had been a good morning when Buck finished Ezra's report.
"They got an ID on four of the six we killed." Chris went through the short list of names but none of his team recognised them.
"They're still checking out the people who knew about the operation?" Josiah continued the questions.
"Yeah, but they don't have anything yet." Chris confirmed the lack of success.
"And no one has any idea why it happened." Vin looked around at Chris. "I mean the drug dealers wouldn't have gone to all that trouble. Normally they just wouldn't show up."
"They have talked about a few things but nothing that sounds interesting." Chris nodded in agreement.
"They were after JD." Ezra commented to no one in particular, his green eyes were looking down at his hands.
"What makes you think that." Buck's voice was quiet but menacing.
"Because I know how to do my job." Ezra allowed his anger to show.
"Are you saying that I don't." Buck leaned forward.
Ezra didn't move, but his eyes looked up at the man across the table, his body language showing his confidence. "Yes."
"Ezra!" Chris growled at him but his angry blue eyes stared at Buck. Both men understood the warning.
"You want to explain why you think they were after JD." Vin nudged Ezra with his elbow.
"The first man distracted me while the second one stepped forward and aimed his gun directly at JD. I believe it was his intention to shoot JD." Ezra explained.
"Why would anyone want to kill me?" JD was shocked. He hadn't been in the ATF long enough to make any enemies.
"To get at Buck." Ezra suggested.
All eyes turned to Ezra then Buck.
"Why would you think that?" Chris asked him.
"Because it's easy to make enemies when you have a personality like Mr Wilmington's" Ezra smiled at Buck.
"Ezra!" Chris warned him a second time.
"Ezra could have a point." Vin agreed with the Southerner.
"About his personality?" Ezra looked sideways at Vin and felt the hand that slapped the back of his head. He turned around and looked at the angry expression on his leader's face. He decided to keep his mouth shut from now on.
"Any thoughts on the matter Buck and I mean the case." Chris stared at Buck.
"I don't know who would want to hurt me." Buck answered truthfully. "Or why they would kill JD to do it."
"Let's find out then shall we. You can start going through your past case files. JD can help you." Chris ordered. "Nathan and Josiah, you can help Team Eight do the checks on our people, see if anything unusual comes up. We need to know how the information on the operation got out. Then maybe we can get the name that's behind all of this."
"And what are you going to do?" Josiah asked as he pushed himself out of his chair. His tall frame towered over the men who sat around the table.
"We're going to take Ezra home, give him some breakfast, have a chat, then put him to bed." Chris smiled.
"What?" Ezra was shocked.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
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