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azombiewritesTitle: Burnout
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, Chris, Josiah, the rest of the guys and an OMC.
Summary: After spending a prolonged period working undercover, Ezra suffers from 'Burnout'.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 26,949
Present Day
Chris Larabee paced on the other side of the bedroom door. He was like a mother waiting on news of her injured child. He even chewed on a finger nail while he was waiting. He constantly ran one hand through his hair in an agitated manner. He didn't like waiting, he hated waiting. Especially when one of his men were involved. He placed both hands on his hips and changed direction. He ignored the smell of coffee brewing, he didn't need anymore energy, not now. He was worried about Ezra, scared even, he didn't know what was wrong with him. He was terrified of loosing a member of his second family.
"Ezra's not going to like that hole your making in his carpet." Vin spoke behind a hand that hid his eyes from the others. He too was worried about the man that took them six months to bring out from behind the wall he had hidden behind all his life. Ezra had finally allowed them in and now there was something wrong with him.
"He'll be okay, I know he will." Josiah assured them.
"How do you know Josiah?" JD asked from the kitchen. He was helping Buck to make the coffee, anything that would keep him occupied.
"Because he has to be. We didn't go through all that trouble just to loose him now."
"He's sick not dying!" Buck growled at them. "He's probably just got a cold, that's all."
"What the hell is taking them so long!" Chris stopped at the door. He wanted to kick it open and storm into the room and demand to know what was wrong with his undercover agent.
"Give them time Chris." Vin looked up at the back of his closest friend. He could see the slumped shoulders and the look of defeat in his body language. "He's going to be fine."
"God I hope so." Chris folded his arms across his chest and continued to wait.
Fifteen minutes later the door finally opened. Nathan and the Doctor exited the room but Chris didn't give them a chance to catch their breaths.
"Well?" He demanded.
"He's going to be fine Chris." Nathan took his leader's arm and led him to the couch. He pushed him down next to Vin then sat opposite him on the coffee table. He waited for Buck and JD to join them. "Ezra's got what's called Burnout. He's lost his mental and physical energy which would be due to a period of prolonged job related stress. We know what it's been like for Ezra on this case and Porter made it worse for him. It comes out as a physical illness, he also has the flu, it's not bad at the moment but it could get worse." Nathan looked at Renneth who nodded. The Doctor also thought that the cold symptoms would get worse. "To put it bluntly he has no energy, mentally or physically and it might take a while for it to come back."
"In the meantime I want him to see a psycologist to determine what exactly caused the stress then you can try and delete it from his work or personal life." Renneth told them.
"He left a couple of days ago." Chris' tone was full of disgust.
"We're going to have to stay with him twenty four hours a day to take care of him because he won't have the energy to do it himself. I know he won't like it but once his energy starts returning we can give him time on his own." Nathan explained to them.
"How long is a while Nathan?" Josiah asked.
"Doctor Renneth says it could be anywhere from a week to six months. The sooner we get rid of the reason for his stress the quicker he'll get better." He saw Chris open his mouth to say something and he knew what it was going to be. "We still have to elimate everything Chris, there might be something that we don't know about. You know Ezra keeps a lot of things to himself."
Chris nodded in defeat. He knew Ezra would hate the idea of seeing a psycologist. "How did he take it?"
"You know Ezra." Nathan knew the simple statement would tell them what they needed to know.
"Yeah, we know Ezra." Chris knew exactly how Ezra would be taking it. The man would think that he failed at something, that he had been to weak to fight the unkown enemy that was growing within him. It would also put him into a very bad mood. Even though he accepted them as friends and had become a good friend to them he still hated the idea of someone taking care of him. He seemed to have this obession about being weak and failing if he was incapable of taking care of himself. It made him angry and he took that anger out on the world and the people around him. They were in for a difficult fight.
Doctor Renneth handed Nathan the card. "Make an appointment for Friday, he'll probably sleep the next few days. If his cold does get worse then give me a call and I'll come back to see him. If not then I'll be back in a week to see how he's going."
"Thanks Doctor." Nathan stood up to show him out.
The other men gave their thanks but stayed where they were. Vin noticed Chris looking towards Ezra's bedroom door. He seemed to be hesitant about going in to see his friend. "Go and talk to him Chris."
"He might not want to see any of us." Chris turned to look Vin in the eye.
"Since when has that stopped us or you for that matter." Vin smiled in encouragement. "I'll make some decent coffee and bring it in."
Chris nodded then stood up. A few minutes ago he would have done anything to get into that room but now he wasn't so sure anymore. He didn't know what he was going to say to him. The blond leader hesitated again outside the door. He knocked gently, he heard no answer so he knocked again and opened the door. Chris stepped into the room and closed the door behind him and instead of moving towards the bed he leaned back against it and watched his agent for a few seconds.
"Ezra?"
"I'm not in the mood for visitors Chris." Ezra spoke slowly.
"Nathan told us what's wrong." Chris pulled the chair that sat by the window closer to the bed. "You can't blame yourself Ezra, it could happen to anyone."
"That's what Nathan said." Ezra closed his eyes. "The Doctor want's me to see a psycologist." he hoped that Chris would say that he didn't have to.
"I agree with him. You need to talk about it Ezra."
"I'm not crazy Chris."
"No one said you were. I'll come with you if you want. You don't have to do this alone Ezra. Not that we would let you anyway. Your going to have to put up with us for a while."
"That's okay. If I have to go, I'm best going on my own. You know it's hard for me to talk about myself. I wouldn't be able to do it with you there."
"I'll wait outside then." Chris watched him. Ezra was being too calm about it all. "Your taking it remarkably well Ezra."
"I don't have the energy to be angry about it Chris. I just want to sleep."
"You want to eat something first?"
"Will I have to be spoon fed?" Ezra raised an eyebrow without opening his eyes.
"I don't know Ezra." He saw the smile crease Ezra's features, the Southerner thought he was joking.
________________________________________
Chris was dragged from his restful slumber by the sound of painful coughing. He was aware of the sound and it's source as he struggled to fully wake. He listened as the occupant in the other chair pushed himself up onto what he knew would be shaky legs. It had been like this for the last few days. Ezra's flu had gotten worse. He continued to wake due to the excessive coughing that tore through him. They had decided that two people should stay with him during the night so they wouldn't have to worry about the solitary person sleeping through the patient's unknown cries for help.
Even though he knew Nathan had gotten up to check on Ezra, Chris also wanted to be there for his friend. If he didn't see Ezra he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep because of the worry that would nag him for the rest of the night. He needed to make sure he was okay. He finally managed to wake up, the thick moisture of sleep filled the corners of his eyes. His hands rubbed the blue orbs dry as he made his way to the Southerner's room.
Chris opened the door to find Nathan helping Ezra to drink from a glass of water. Even in the softly lit room he could see how pale Ezra's features were. His cheeks were flushed with the redness of a fever and his damp hair clung to his scalp. Chris waited a moment before moving forward. He took the glass from Nathan's hand so he could help Ezra to lie back down again. Another hoarse cough echoed through the large room before Ezra rolled over and drifted back to sleep.
"I think I'll spend the rest of the night in here." Nathan whispered to the man who stood over him.
"Is he that bad?" Chris could hear the concern in his own voice. He had become comfortable about showing his friends that he cared. The leader of Team Seven actually went out of his way to show Ezra that he was worried about him, especially when Ezra didn't have the strength to politely tell him what he could do with his emotional intentions.
"I think he's going through the worst of it now. Once he gets past this stage he should start getting better. Well, his flu anyway."
"Want some coffee?" Chris smiled at him. Nathan wasn't going to sleep for the rest of night so neither was he. It wasn't a problem, they both had the next day off. It was Friday, the day of Ezra's appointment to see the pyscologist. Both Nathan and Chris had decided to go with him, both for emotional and physical support.
"Thanks." Nathan smiled in return then turned back to watch Ezra sleep.
"How come we didn't see it coming Nathan. How come we didn't stop Porter from hasseling Ezra the way he did. Why didn't Ezra tell us there was something wrong." He stood with his hands on his hips, his shoulders were slumped as though they were carrying the burden of what was happening to his undercover agent.
"You don't see it coming Chris. Porter was our superior, we didn't have a choice, we could have been transferred, suspended or even fired. And Ezra probably didn't know something was wrong." Nathan explained.
"I should have supported him more when it came to Porter. I should have stood up for Ezra." Chris could feel his anger starting to boil.
"You did Chris, you did everything you could. I think Ezra felt more at home, a part of the family because of what you and the rest of us were doing for him."
"He's really starting to settle in isn't he." Chris smiled as the building anger suddenly left him. The memory of the football game they had played when they forced Ezra to accompany them to his cabin replayed itself in his mind. Ezra hadn't known how to play. They'd spent twenty minutes teaching him the game then five hours playing it. The Southerner had been covered in bruises by the end of the game but he didn't complain. Instead he had walked around the rest of the night with a smug smile on his face. For the first time since they had met him he looked content.
"You sit with him Chris, I'll go and make the coffee." Nathan stood up and patted his leader and friend on the shoulder.
"Thanks Nathan." Chris took a deep breath then settled down into the chair that Nathan had vacated.
They had made sure that there would be enough comfortable chairs in the room so more than one person could spend some time with Ezra. The Southerner slept most of the time but they still wanted to be there for him. Even when he was awake he apologised for not being the host that he should be. They had never seen Ezra so quite before, he usually always had something to say but he hardly spoke after each apology. The conversations were one sided but no one took offense by it, they understood.
Buck took the opportunity to tell Ezra about his latest conquests. JD told him bad jokes and discussed the latest play station games with himself. He always did though because Ezra had never had any experience with video games and didn't want to. Josiah read Ezra's favourite books to him and told him about the most recent news events. Nathan sat in the chair and watched him as the minutes ticked by looking for any sign of improvement or deteriation. Vin wasn't one for talking much so he sat with Ezra in a comfortable silence. Chris spent the most time with the undercover agent. He had taken responsibility for what was happening to Ezra. Chris was going to help his agent through his ordeal if it took one week or six months.
Chris moved to the bed quickly when Ezra started to cough again. Ezra still lay on his side so Chris began to rub his back hoping that it would help ease the cough. He could feel Ezra's lungs heaving for breath between each bout of coughing. He winced in sympathy.
"I feel like shit." Ezra groaned to whoever was rubbing his back.
"You want some more water Ezra?" Chris removed his hand from Ezra's back and began to stand up.
"Keep going please, it's the only thing that feels good at the moment." Ezra muttered. His words were becoming slurred already.
Chris sat back down on the bed and began rubbing the warm back once more. If it made Ezra feel better then he wasn't going to let the feeling of embrassement stop him. He didn't stop when Nathan came back into the room.
"I heard him coughing again. He okay?" Nathan sat the coffee down on the bed side table. He brought three cups in case Ezra woke up again and wanted to indulge in something warm.
"Yeah. He said this felt good so I kept going with it." Chris smiled. His cheeks were slightly red with embarrassement.
"I won't tell anyone." Nathan assured him.
"That's because you know what will happen if you do." Chris threatened the ex-medic.
"I'm not ready to die yet." Nathan smiled.
Chris leaned over Ezra's shoulder and felt more at ease when he saw the relaxed features. Ezra's breathing had leveled out as he moved silently from the waking world to the peaceful darkness of sleep. Chris pulled another blanket up over the sleeping form and settled back down into his chair. He quietly thanked Nathan as he accepted the steaming cup of coffee.
"How do you think he'll go tomorrow?" Nathan asked as he sat down in the chair on the other side of the bed. He continued to watch Ezra as he listened to Chris' answer.
"I think he won't last more than five minutes. The guy will ask one question, Ezra will tell him off then leave." Chris laughed at the image but knew that it was a serious situation. "When he does I'll throw him back in and lock the door."
"Sounds like a plan to me." Nathan agreed with Chris' idea. Although he silently hoped that it wouldn't come to that.
________________________________________
The pyschologist's waiting room was softly furnished with comfortable chairs and the large green plants that sat in each corner of the room gave it a natural feeling. Fresh flowers gave off a sickly sweet smell that was making Ezra feel even worse. Landscape paintings lined the pale walls, they were meant to help the patients relax in an enviroment that they did not want to be in. Ezra was not relaxed.
He had been forced from his bed at an ungodly hour that he couldn't recall. He was literally forced fed a high protein breakfast. He was then given a bath by Nathan and Chris. They ignored his verbal protests and easily held his arms down while one of them scrubed his flesh with a soaped sponge, his hair had been shampooed and his face shaven. Chris and Nathan dressed him, put his shoes and socks on and comb his hair. It had been a humilating experience. He had tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen. It had left him angry and that anger was simmering just below the surface of his tolerance level. If he'd had the physical strength he would have thrown them out of his home.
And now he was sitting here with Nathan and Chris sitting on either side of him, waiting to see a psychologist who was going to ask him personal questions. He wasn't going to answer them. They had arrived twenty minutes early which made the waiting part even worse. His stomach rolled, his head ached, his nose was blocked but running at the same time. He still wasn't able to understand how a nose could do that. If you try and breath through it, it refused to work but as soon as you started breathing through your mouth, your nose would start running. He sniffed.
"Use a tissue Ezra." Nathan told him.
"If I blow into a tissue the thin material will tear and then I will be left with mucus on my hands." Ezra retorted then took a breath. He'd have to stop talking so much, he continued to run out of breath when he did.
"It will make you feel sick." Nathan warned him.
"Actually it's quite welcoming on an already nauseated stomach." He had to catch his breath again. It was hard to talk and breath through your mouth at the same time. His nose still refused to work.
"Have you stopped to think that's what's making you feel sick to begin with." the ex-medic growled at him.
"I am a sick man Nathan, it is unfair to be angry with me when I don't have the energy to return the favour." Ezra actually smiled at him.
"Jesus Ezra, even with Burnout and the flu your still an aggrevating bastard." Nathan returned the smile and it grew when Ezra winked at him.
"It's my main goal in life, once it's completed I can go in peace." Gawd he had to stop talking so much.
Nathan knew Ezra was hiding behind his normal facade, the Southerner was worried about the confrontation they all expected to go wrong. Nathan had hated getting Ezra out of bed so early but the only available appointment was at eight thirty in the morning. He glanced sideways as Ezra leaned back and closed his eyes. Nathan grimaced in irritation as the Southerner sniffed again but he couldn't help but smile in satisfaction when Ezra grunted in response to the physical blow Chris inflicted upon him. The ex-medic then sat back and waited for the enivitable, he knew the position Ezra was in would casue him to begin coughing and that's exactly what happened half a minute later.
Ezra started coughing, he leaned forward and placed his head between his knees. He felt a hand on his back as it began to rub in a circular motion. He started to struggle for breath as he chest heaved.
"Mr Standish, you can go in now." A femine voice spoke from behind a counter.
Chris looked over towards the voice but couldn't see the body that it belonged to. He continued to rub Ezra's back even though the smaller man's coughing began to ease. "Just take your time Ezra, he can wait."
"Want some water Ezra?" Nathan asked him when he sat back up.
"No, I'm fine." Ezra coughed one more time then swallowed the results of the coughing fit.
"I wish you wouldn't do that!" Nathan continued with his admonitory attitude.
"Do what?" Ezra groaned, he was sick of being sick.
"Mr Standish!" The voice was louder this time and a face appeared above the counter. "You can go in now."
"You sure you don't want me to go in with you?" Chris still had his hand on Ezra's back.
"No." Ezra pushed himself out of the chair and made his way to the door that led to the emotional torture chamber. He stopped at the door and looked over his shoulder at Chris and Nathan. They both nodded at him. He turned back to the door and opened it. The Southerner walked into the room and shut the door behind him. He'd shut out his friends, the men who wanted to help him, who had offered to come in with him. He berated himself. They had done so much for him, they willing to do everything for him and he still couldn't accept it.
He hesitantly walked forward towards the chair that sat in front of the large pinewood table. The man who sat behind it was as old as his mother. The glasses that were worn on a Karl Malden nose made him look even older. The blue eyes that sat behind them watched him carefully as he sagged down into the chair. The man was scrutinising him. Ezra instantly knew that it was going to be a war of personalities that he wasn't sure he was going to win. If he was his normal self he would have wormed his way out of it ten minutes after it was suggested that he see a shrink. The trip here had been hell. He hated being so weak that he couldn't even walk a short distance without help. He didn't know how he managed to get from the waiting room to this chair.
Ezra return the stare, his eyes were unflinching. Maybe he didn't have the strength to win the fight but was sure as hell going to make it as difficult as he possibly could. He knew his body language was making him look weak. He didn't cross his legs or fold his arms across his chest. His limbs felt as though they had weights attached to them. He didn't want to lift them or change position unless he had to.
"Mr Standish." The Doctor stood up and leaned over the desk to shake hands. He was forcing Ezra to stand so he could return the greeting.
Ezra refused to moved. "Yes."
"I'm Doctor Hancock." he sat back down.
Ezra smiled at the name, if his brain was working properly he could come up with some nice comments but he only came up with one word. "And?"
"And I'm here to help you." Hancock stated in a deep voice that was husky due to the packet of cigarettes he smoked daily.
"Help me with what?" Ezra stubbornly raised an eyebrow.
"Why don't you tell me."
"Tell you what?" Ezra asked innocently. Maybe it wasn't going to be so hard afterall.
"What I can help you with."
"You want to help me?"
"Yes."
"With what?"
A twitch began to show itself in the Doctor's body language. His left eye started to blink. "You won't win this game Mr Standish."
"I already have." Ezra spoke confidently.
The Doctor picked up his phone. "Joy, can you send Mr Larabee in please."
"Aw hell." Ezra allowed himself to sink lower into his chair. He didn't turn his head as he boss walked into the room. The door was slammed shut and the Southerner winced at the anger he knew was there. Ezra still refused to look at Chris when he sat down next to him. He could feel the blue eyes boaring into him. His left hand slowly moved upwards and he leaned towards it so he could hide his face.
"Your agent does not want to co-operate. I as a professional can not force him to talk to me so I thought you would like a few minutes alone with him." Hancock stood up and left the room that was now filled with tension so thick you could choke on it.
Chris knew what was happening as soon as the receptionist asked him to go into the Doctor's rooms. He was being stubborn, no doubt refusing to answer questions or talk about what was happening to him. He waited patiently for Ezra to say something. He knew the game and how to play it. He listened as Ezra coughed then sniffed. He hit him again. He hated that habit.
"Ouch." Ezra tried to get the sympathy he thought would help him get through this.
"Then don't sniff." Chris told him.
"Who needs friends when you've got enimies like you guys." Ezra muttered.
Chris smiled at the 'friends' part of the insult. He still waited for Ezra to make the first move.
"I don't want to talk about it Chris."
"You don't or you won't?" Chris looked at him but Ezra's hand still covered his face. He could see it shaking with the weight of Ezra's skull.
If he didn't say it Ezra knew he was going to be here all day. "I can't Chris."
"Why not?"
"Don't know how to." Ezra wanted to drop his hand. It was shaking under his weight but he didn't want Chris to see his face. "Like football, no one ever told me how to. It's as hard to start as it is to give up a nasty habit."
"Like sniffing?" The humour sounded in Chris' voice.
"Yeah."
It may have seemed amusing to Chris but he knew that Ezra wasn't laughing. The Southerner was quite serious about his lack of ability to talk about things.
"I'll help you." Chris stood up and gently pulled Ezra's hand down. He turned to walk to the door.
"Chris. Please don't tell the others about what I might say in here." Ezra hesitated. "I don't want them to know how weak I am."
"Your not weak Ezra, and if you weren't sick I would beat that into you." Chris growled at him.
Ezra knew the threat was a serious one. Chris would probably even do it when he recovered from this Burnout crap that he was suffering from. Burnout. Hell, he wasn't stressed, he didn't get stressed. It had to have been caused by something else. He listened as Chris opened the door and told the Doctor that his patient was ready. Ezra denied the title, he wasn't a patient, he wouldn't be returning after this visit.
The undercover agent didn't look up when the Doctor walked around his desk and sat down. He could feel the sets of eyes looking at him. Both men were waiting for him to start. But how could he, he didn't know how to, he wasn't sure what he should say, he didn't know what they wanted to hear.
"Doctor Hancock," Chris got the doctor's attention, "Ezra has this trait, you see, he hates talking about himself, he's the type of guy that doesn't want to worry people because he knows they have their own problems. So if you don't mind I'll start for him and then he can fill in the rest or answer any questions you have."
Hancock looked at Ezra, he wanted the young man to talk and if it required his boss to do it for him then so be it. He knew that once Ezra started he wouldn't be able to stop. "It's not something that I usually allow but I think the circumstances warrant it."
Ezra felt the relief wash over him. His tense muscles relaxed and his fear retreated from his mind. He was grateful for the explanation Chris had given the Doctor but he wasn't sure that Hancock believed it. Ezra didn't care, the man had excepted it. Now he was concerned about what Chris was going to say.
"Ezra's suffering from Burnout. The Doctor said that it's stress related. Ezra doesn't believe it, he reckons his not stressed. He's an undercover agent, a job that would stress out any normal person but not Ezra. He thrives on it. But this last case was hard on him. Six weeks he was undercover on an arms related case. Someone else was in charge of the case and he caused Ezra a lot of problems. He put pressure on him. If a case isn't going to well or someone puts the sort of pressure on him that Porter did he thinks he did something wrong and takes responsibility for it, blames himself and starts pushing himself."
"Do you think this would have happened if Agent Porter wasn't involved?" Hancock was looking at Ezra when the question was asked.
"No." Chris answered the question.
"What about you Ezra? Do you think it would have happened?"
"No." Ezra just wanted to crawl away and die.
"Why not?"
"What?"
"Why do you think it wouldn't have happened if Porter wasn't in charge?" Hancock asked a second time.
Ezra looked down at his hands. If only he could die right now, right this second. It didn't happen. "I wouldn't have worried about failing the team."
"Is that what you thought? That you would fail?"
"That's what he told me." Ezra admitted.
"You believed him?"
"I've failed before, I'll fail again. It's just harder to deal with it when someone expects you to."
Chris clenched his fists and tried to repress the anger that had begin to build.
"Would you like to talk about it? Let us know what happened? Maybe you can give an example of something he said to you." Hancock suggested.
Ezra looked sideways at Chris. He saw the anger in his eyes but knew it wasn't aimed at him. He took a deep breath and began to talk about his first meeting with Agent Horris Porter.
________________________________________
Six Weeks Earlier
Chris Larabee heard the ding that announced the elevator's arrival. His eyebrows raised themselves in mild surprise. Ezra Standish was going to be on time for once. Once was the correct term, it had never happened before. He looked around the room at his agents to find them with the same look of surprise that he had. They were all watching the door waiting for his arrival, no doubt with some smart ass comments at the ready. When Ezra did arrive Chris blinked in surprise. The Southerner had put on weight, and a lot of it. He'd also lost some hair.
"Geez Ezra, you gained a bit of weight." Buck told the man who stood in the doorway.
"Been to a fancy dress party?" Nathan added.
The man looked behind him then turned back to glare at the men in the room. His look of confusion caused Buck to laugh behind his hand.
"I'm Agent Horris Porter." The Agent adjusted the belt that held his trousers up. It was a useless device because the pants were too tight to begin with. "I'm here to take control of the Chambers case."
"Excuse me?" Chris growled.
"I said . . . umf!" The man fell foward and landed against the conference table.
"Nice tackle." Chris congradulated Ezra as he stepped into the room.
"What just happened here?" Ezra walked around so he could face the man who struggled to push his weight off the table.
"You knocked over Agent Horris Porter." JD told him.
"Horris?" Ezra raised a questioning eyebrow at his friends.
"Who the hell are you?" Porter demanded of Ezra.
"Ezra Standish. Undercover agent extraodinaire." He put his hand out but the man glared at it then at him.
"Sorry." Ezra shrugged then made his way to his usual chair. "Who the hell is he?" he asked Vin as he sat down.
"Didn't you listen to JD. He's Agent Horris Porter." Vin nodded his head as if he was confirming that the man who stood glaring at Ezra was an important person. Well it seemed that Porter obviously thought he was important. "He's come to take over the case."
"Not if Chris can help it." Ezra smiled at Porter then grimaced in disgust.
"What makes you think your taking over the case?" Chris leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest.
"I have the appropiate papers that say I can." He threw a folder towards Chris. It got as far as Vin who picked it up and looked at it. "They are for Larabee's eyes only."
"He is my eyes." Chris growled harshly at the man. He had taken an instant dislike to him and he could tell his men had also.
Vin passed it to Ezra who quickly glanced at it.
"He your eyes too?" The sarcasm sounded in Porter's voice.
"Yep." Was all Chris would say. He took his time reading the document. It did give the man the authority to take over. There was nothing he was going to be able to do about it. "Why?"
"I've been after Chambers for a while now. I didn't like the idea of someone else getting him before I did." He smiled, his crooked teeth did not help his facial features. "Now it's my case and your working for me."
"Sorry guys, he has the paper work. Can't stop him." Chris stared at Porter until the man looked away from him.
"I want everything you have on the case brought to me. I'll be taking over your office Larabee . . . "
"No you won't!" The tone in Chris' voice told Porter that it would be over his dead body. "You can use this room."
"Then bring everything you have here."
"You heard the man." Chris got up and left. His men followed him.
________________________________________
Ezra gathered his belongings together, it was the end of another working day and he was looking forward to going home and relaxing. He looked up when he heard the door open expecting to see one of his friends but instead the door frame was filled by the large form of Horris Porter. A sarcastic comment flew through his mind but he refused to voice it. His green eyes followed Porter as he moved around his office. He grimaced in disgust as the man touched his belongings, glanced over them and threw them back on the table.
"Did you want something?" Ezra took his things and placed them in his brief case out of the man's way.
"I've heard about you." Porter slumped into the chair that was meant for friendly visitors. "You still on the take?"
"Never was." Ezra didn't hesitate.
"That's not what I heard." Porter glared at the undercover agent but the man didn't flinch under his stare.
"Then you heard wrong." Ezra picked up his case, he wanted to leave before he said something he might later regret.
"I don't think so." Porter stood up and moved towards Ezra. "I read your file."
"It was all hearsay."
Porter turned away from him and walked towards the door. He closed it then leaned against it. "Bet it's nice to have a rich mother. Are you a mummies boy." It wasn't a question.
"Like I said. Did you want something?" Ezra began to get an uneasy feeling that he didn't like. He knew he was alone with this man, the others had gone home already.
"Just making conversation." He took a step forward. "Nothing wrong with that."
"What do you want?" Ezra asked for the third time.
"You were kicked out of the FBI weren't you. They couldn't prove what was true so they got rid of you."
Ezra stayed silent.
"I don't like you, they should have charged you and sent you to jail with the rest of the criminals. Your scum, a failure who couldn't live up to mummies expectations. What did she do, cut you off, did you have to make your own money to pay your bills." Porter had moved while he talked, he now stood facing Ezra.
"Then why don't you take me off the case." Ezra still wasn't sure what this man wanted.
"No your staying. Your the best undercover agent there is even if your bent so I'm here to give you a warning. I know what a failure you are, you couldn't even be on the take without getting caught. If you fail on this case and cost me Chambers then you'll pay with more than just your job."
"Are you threatening me?" Ezra was actually amused that this guy who was overweight, obviously unfit was threatening him.
"Yes I am and there is nothing you can do about it." Porter smiled, his tongue flicked out over his crooked stained teeth.
"And why do you think that?" Ezra sat back down in his chair. His poker face was being held firmly in place.
"No one would believe you that's why." Porter continued to smile thinking he had the undercover agent where he wanted him.
Ezra wanted to do nothing more than beat the smug smile off the fat man's face but he knew that it would give Porter the excuse that he needed. He couldn't understand why this man was threatening him.
"Chris would believe me." Ezra knew that his leader would, he was confident of that.
"Larabee doesn't matter, there are people higher up in the department that wouldn't believe you. But they would believe any accusation that I make. I have a reputable record, you don't."
"You think that I'll fail and yet you want me to stay on the case. Sounds pretty stupid to me." Ezra smiled up at him.
"Why you good for nothin' bastard!" Porter leaned forward and lifted Ezra to his feet, he slammed him against the wall and pressed his right forearm against his neck.
"Your weight gives the impression that your too fat for capable physical activities." Ezra grimaced.
"You've go a big mouth." Porter told him.
"So everyone keeps telling me." Ezra managed to smile.
"Well I'm going to put an end to it." Porter slammed his meaty fist into Ezra's stomach.
Ezra felt the air leave his lungs. He tried to double over but Porter held him up. He wanted to retaliate but the man's words echoed in his mind. 'There are people higher up who wouldn't believe you.' Ezra knew this was true. It had happened in the FBI. He had friends here who would believe him but like Porter said, they don't matter, they wouldn't be on the Hearing Committee if Porter made a complaint about being assaulted by him. He clenched his fist and closed his mouth, he knew that it would be a game that he would not win. There were plenty of people in the ATF who would like to see him go. If he retaliated it would give them the opportunity to get rid of him. He didn't want that, he'd found a family here and if he had to put up with this piece of shit to keep them then he would.
________________________________________
Present Day
"He threatened you then used physical violence." Chris tried to keep the anger out of his voice but he failed.
"What was I supposed to do? Hit him back? He was right. There are people who would believe him over me. I would have been fired the next day." Ezra retorted.
"Ezra I'm not angry with you, I . . . "
"No but your thinking it. Why didn't he hit him? Why didn't he tell me about it?" Ezra had enough. He used his hands to push himself up but felt Chris' hand grab his arm and pull him back down.
"That's not what I'm thinking Ezra." Chris spoke more calmly. "I was thinking that Porter is a dead man for threatening one of my men, for hurting my friend. That's what I was thinking."
"Was it like that for the six weeks that he led the operation." Hancock asked.
Ezra's eyes were staring at his hands that were in his lap. He nodded silently. He knew what they were thinking. He was weak, too weak to fight back. He'd let the man walk all over him and control his life both in his work life and his private life. He was yet to tell them about that. What would Chris think if he'd told him that Porter would even call him in the early hours of the morning. The conversations had been one sided. He would complain about something Ezra had done that day while he was undercover. Porter would claim that it was something that would cause him to loose Chambers. He continued to threaten him, telling him that he would make sure he was going to loose his job if he failed. Ezra continued to take it because he believed what Porter had told him.
He wasn't going to loose again. He intended to stay with the ATF and Team Seven. He'd put up with this sort of crap before and got over it. He knew when the case was over Porter would leave and he would still be here. That's what he wanted and that's what had happened. He didn't want to think about where he would be if he stood up for himself. He felt stupid for standing down, he felt like a coward and a failure but he was still here and Porter wasn't. His mother had taught him not to go against a stacked deck and that was what Porter was. And so was his mother. A stacked deck that you couldn't win against.
"Mr Larabee, I'd like to talk to Ezra alone." The psychologist nodded towards the door.
"Sure." Chris squeezed Ezra's shoulder hoping the touch would tell him that he was there for him and would back him all the way.
Ezra continued to stare at his hands. He heard the door close and a feeling of abandonment overcame him.
Hancock stood up, he noticed Ezra's eyes flicker towards him. He continued his slow movements until he was sitting in the chair next to Ezra.
"Why did you allow him to do it?"
"I told you. They would believe him over me." Ezra answered in a tone that was full of defeat.
"That's bull shit and you know it. Tell me why you allowed him to treat you that way?"
Ezra looked at the man next to him. "It won't leave this room?"
"No." The Doctor waited for Ezra to start talking but the stubborn agent returned to staring at his hands.
"Ezra, don't think of it as talking about yourself or your problems. It's just like answering a question, you do that every day."
Ezra took a deep breath before beginning but it caused him to cough instead. Hancock waited patiently. He knew that once someone took that first step for the undercover agent it would be easier for him to take over. He watched the body language, it gave an impression of someone who was insecure about himself.
"My mother taught me not to make friends. She said that if someone wanted to be your friend it meant that they were after something. I didn't listen to her at first. I made a couple of friends but my mother took me away and sent me to another boarding school. I never seemed to fit in, the others didn't like me, they seemed to enjoy picking on me. Mother continued to encourage me not to make friends. After a while I began to see why she told me not to so I stopped. I became a loner and have been that way ever since. It's become my life. I won't let anyone get close to me. I wasn't willing to loose another friend or be disappointed by one.
Chris and the rest of the guys wanted to be my friend. I wouldn't let them but it didn't stop them." He smiled at the memory. "They kept pushing me until it all came to a head. They forced me to go to Chris' cabin for a three day weekend. By the end of the three days I had accepted their friendship. They haven't let me down." Ezra stopped, his eyes slowly drifted towards the psychologist. "What if they did believe him over me. I would get transferred or fired. I'd loose them. They're like family to me now. If Porter won, I'd loose them."
"They sound like they're worth keeping." Hancock smiled. "You won't loose them Ezra. I don't think they would allow that to happen."
"They wouldn't be able to stop it." Ezra looked away and hung his head.
"I think Chris would have a few friends of his own. He wouldn't allow them to get rid of you Ezra. I think you should trust him more in that regard."
"I thought if I told them about it they would think that I was a coward, to weak to fight back."
Hancock smiled again. He didn't have to ask the question. The Southerner was talking on his own now. "But that's what you think isn't it?"
Ezra nodded. "Another thing my mother taught me. Don't show your feelings, people will think your weak and then they'll take advantage of you."
"Not every one is going to think of you the same way that you do Ezra."
"I haven't met one yet." Ezra muttered.
"There's two outside in the waiting room and from what I know about your team there are four more." Hancock assured him.
"I'm afraid that if it came down to it, they wouldn't fight to keep me here."
"From what you've told me, I know Porter didn't cause you the stress, neither did the job. You've spent the last six weeks worrying yourself sick that you were going to loose the only real friends that you have ever made. You were afraid they would leave you or allow you to leave them. That's what has caused you the stress that's led to you burning yourself out. You should ask them what they would have done." The Doctor suggested. "I'm sure you won't regret it."
"I'll think about it."
"Good enough for me Ezra." He stood up and walked towards the door. "I'll see you on Tuesday then."
"Tuesday?" Ezra twisted around to look at him.
"Yes. Tuesday at three." Hancock opened the door and poked his head around the corner. "Mr Larabee you can come and take your friend home now."
________________________________________
Chris risked a look at his undercover agent, his eyes stared into the rear view mirror for as long as he dared. Ezra was lying down on the back seat, his eyes were closed and his arms were folded across his chest. He looked away and adjusted the mirror back to it's former position. He turned his attention to Nathan who was sitting in the passenger seat.
"Is he okay?" Chris whispered.
Nathan glanced over his shoulder and watched the Southerner for a few minutes. He could feel Chris' eyes as they continued to watch him and the road ahead. The ex-medic smiled as he watched the steady rise and fall of Ezra's chest. "He's sleeping." He turned back around and watched Chris. "What happened? Did he say anything?"
"He asked me not to tell you or the others." Chris was going to do what Ezra had asked of him.
Nathan nodded. "Did it help him?"
"I don't know." Chris shook his head. He now knew what Porter had put Ezra through. He chastised himself for not seeing it and helping his agent.
It was another fifteen minutes before they arrived back at Ezra's townhouse. Chris parked his dodge in the street. Ezra's jaguar still filled the garage. Neither man wanted to wake Ezra so they decided to carry him into his home then bed. Chris opened the door and put his arms under Ezra's shoulders and began to pull him out of the car. Ezra shifted and groaned in protest.
"It's okay Ezra, go back to sleep." Chris waited until the smaller man settled down once more.
Nathan took Ezra's upper body while Chris lifted his legs out, he then gathered him into his arms like a child and carried him towards the front door of his apartment. He heard the door close behind him and then another open in front of him. Four men marched towards him with concerned expressions on their faces.
"What's wrong?" Buck started.
"Did something happen to him." Josiah looked down at Ezra's relaxed features.
"He hurt?" Vin's tone threatened to harm the culprit with physical violence if his friend had been hurt.
"He's sleeping, now get out of my way!" Nathan growled at them.
"Sleeping." Josiah repeated.
"He fell asleep in the back of the car on the way home." Chris explained as he pushed them out of Nathan's way.
"So he's okay then?" Buck followed them into the apartment and then towards the bedroom.
"He's fine Buck." Chris didn't look back at him. "Geez, if you were capable of making decent coffee I would tell you to go and make some."
"Yeah well I can't so I'm staying." Buck stood defiantly at the foot of the bed.
"If your staying could you at least be quiet then. You'll wake him up!" Nathan growled at him.
"How did he go?" Vin demanded to know.
"He wouldn't talk to start with, I got him started. The Doctor then asked me to leave so he could talk to Ezra." He didn't tell them what he told Nathan. "He has to go back on Tuesday."
"That means he didn't do okay." Buck spoke again.
"It could also mean that he did." Josiah retorted.
"If he did okay he wouldn't have to go back." Buck turned on him.
"It could also mean that he want's to see how much he's improving since their last talk." Josiah continued.
"He could do that anytime." Buck continued to argue with the ex-preacher.
"Will you two shut up!" Chris' cold tone stopped them dead. "You'll wake Ezra!"
They all looked towards the living room when the phone began to ring. Vin ran out of the room to answer it. Buck rushed to the door to close it. Chris watched Ezra to see if the noise was going to wake him. It didn't, he was sleeping soundly on top of the bed cover. They could hear Vin's muffled voice become angry then it abruptly ended.
"Everybody out." Nathan ordered them. "I'll take care of Ezra."
They reluctantly left the room, each man looked at Ezra before they left. Chris closed the door after him. Vin stood in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips.
"That was Maude. She wanted to speak to Ezra. Said she couldn't. She didn't like that. Says she'll call back later and her son better be awake so she can talk to him. Reckons it's important." Vin lifted his hand off his
hip. The end of the telephone cord was hanging from his fingers. "I made sure she couldn't phone back."
"Nice one Vin." Buck smiled.
"JD. I want you to do something for me." Chris walked the younger man towards the door. "I want you to do a background check on Agent Horris Porter. Go deep, I want everything you can get on him." He handed him his car keys. "Keep this between you and me, I don't want the others to know yet."
"Sure Chris." JD stopped and looked at the man he respected and admired. "It was him wasn't it? That caused Ezra to get sick."
"Something like that. It's why I don't want the others to know yet."
"No problem Chris. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Let me know if anything else happens." He took a quick look at Ezra's bedroom door then left.
Chris waited a moment before turning around. He knew his eyes would be full of anger and if the others saw it they would begin their questions. He wasn't ready to answer them. He wanted Ezra to do that.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
Master Fan Fiction List
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, Chris, Josiah, the rest of the guys and an OMC.
Summary: After spending a prolonged period working undercover, Ezra suffers from 'Burnout'.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 26,949
Present Day
Chris Larabee paced on the other side of the bedroom door. He was like a mother waiting on news of her injured child. He even chewed on a finger nail while he was waiting. He constantly ran one hand through his hair in an agitated manner. He didn't like waiting, he hated waiting. Especially when one of his men were involved. He placed both hands on his hips and changed direction. He ignored the smell of coffee brewing, he didn't need anymore energy, not now. He was worried about Ezra, scared even, he didn't know what was wrong with him. He was terrified of loosing a member of his second family.
"Ezra's not going to like that hole your making in his carpet." Vin spoke behind a hand that hid his eyes from the others. He too was worried about the man that took them six months to bring out from behind the wall he had hidden behind all his life. Ezra had finally allowed them in and now there was something wrong with him.
"He'll be okay, I know he will." Josiah assured them.
"How do you know Josiah?" JD asked from the kitchen. He was helping Buck to make the coffee, anything that would keep him occupied.
"Because he has to be. We didn't go through all that trouble just to loose him now."
"He's sick not dying!" Buck growled at them. "He's probably just got a cold, that's all."
"What the hell is taking them so long!" Chris stopped at the door. He wanted to kick it open and storm into the room and demand to know what was wrong with his undercover agent.
"Give them time Chris." Vin looked up at the back of his closest friend. He could see the slumped shoulders and the look of defeat in his body language. "He's going to be fine."
"God I hope so." Chris folded his arms across his chest and continued to wait.
Fifteen minutes later the door finally opened. Nathan and the Doctor exited the room but Chris didn't give them a chance to catch their breaths.
"Well?" He demanded.
"He's going to be fine Chris." Nathan took his leader's arm and led him to the couch. He pushed him down next to Vin then sat opposite him on the coffee table. He waited for Buck and JD to join them. "Ezra's got what's called Burnout. He's lost his mental and physical energy which would be due to a period of prolonged job related stress. We know what it's been like for Ezra on this case and Porter made it worse for him. It comes out as a physical illness, he also has the flu, it's not bad at the moment but it could get worse." Nathan looked at Renneth who nodded. The Doctor also thought that the cold symptoms would get worse. "To put it bluntly he has no energy, mentally or physically and it might take a while for it to come back."
"In the meantime I want him to see a psycologist to determine what exactly caused the stress then you can try and delete it from his work or personal life." Renneth told them.
"He left a couple of days ago." Chris' tone was full of disgust.
"We're going to have to stay with him twenty four hours a day to take care of him because he won't have the energy to do it himself. I know he won't like it but once his energy starts returning we can give him time on his own." Nathan explained to them.
"How long is a while Nathan?" Josiah asked.
"Doctor Renneth says it could be anywhere from a week to six months. The sooner we get rid of the reason for his stress the quicker he'll get better." He saw Chris open his mouth to say something and he knew what it was going to be. "We still have to elimate everything Chris, there might be something that we don't know about. You know Ezra keeps a lot of things to himself."
Chris nodded in defeat. He knew Ezra would hate the idea of seeing a psycologist. "How did he take it?"
"You know Ezra." Nathan knew the simple statement would tell them what they needed to know.
"Yeah, we know Ezra." Chris knew exactly how Ezra would be taking it. The man would think that he failed at something, that he had been to weak to fight the unkown enemy that was growing within him. It would also put him into a very bad mood. Even though he accepted them as friends and had become a good friend to them he still hated the idea of someone taking care of him. He seemed to have this obession about being weak and failing if he was incapable of taking care of himself. It made him angry and he took that anger out on the world and the people around him. They were in for a difficult fight.
Doctor Renneth handed Nathan the card. "Make an appointment for Friday, he'll probably sleep the next few days. If his cold does get worse then give me a call and I'll come back to see him. If not then I'll be back in a week to see how he's going."
"Thanks Doctor." Nathan stood up to show him out.
The other men gave their thanks but stayed where they were. Vin noticed Chris looking towards Ezra's bedroom door. He seemed to be hesitant about going in to see his friend. "Go and talk to him Chris."
"He might not want to see any of us." Chris turned to look Vin in the eye.
"Since when has that stopped us or you for that matter." Vin smiled in encouragement. "I'll make some decent coffee and bring it in."
Chris nodded then stood up. A few minutes ago he would have done anything to get into that room but now he wasn't so sure anymore. He didn't know what he was going to say to him. The blond leader hesitated again outside the door. He knocked gently, he heard no answer so he knocked again and opened the door. Chris stepped into the room and closed the door behind him and instead of moving towards the bed he leaned back against it and watched his agent for a few seconds.
"Ezra?"
"I'm not in the mood for visitors Chris." Ezra spoke slowly.
"Nathan told us what's wrong." Chris pulled the chair that sat by the window closer to the bed. "You can't blame yourself Ezra, it could happen to anyone."
"That's what Nathan said." Ezra closed his eyes. "The Doctor want's me to see a psycologist." he hoped that Chris would say that he didn't have to.
"I agree with him. You need to talk about it Ezra."
"I'm not crazy Chris."
"No one said you were. I'll come with you if you want. You don't have to do this alone Ezra. Not that we would let you anyway. Your going to have to put up with us for a while."
"That's okay. If I have to go, I'm best going on my own. You know it's hard for me to talk about myself. I wouldn't be able to do it with you there."
"I'll wait outside then." Chris watched him. Ezra was being too calm about it all. "Your taking it remarkably well Ezra."
"I don't have the energy to be angry about it Chris. I just want to sleep."
"You want to eat something first?"
"Will I have to be spoon fed?" Ezra raised an eyebrow without opening his eyes.
"I don't know Ezra." He saw the smile crease Ezra's features, the Southerner thought he was joking.
________________________________________
Chris was dragged from his restful slumber by the sound of painful coughing. He was aware of the sound and it's source as he struggled to fully wake. He listened as the occupant in the other chair pushed himself up onto what he knew would be shaky legs. It had been like this for the last few days. Ezra's flu had gotten worse. He continued to wake due to the excessive coughing that tore through him. They had decided that two people should stay with him during the night so they wouldn't have to worry about the solitary person sleeping through the patient's unknown cries for help.
Even though he knew Nathan had gotten up to check on Ezra, Chris also wanted to be there for his friend. If he didn't see Ezra he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep because of the worry that would nag him for the rest of the night. He needed to make sure he was okay. He finally managed to wake up, the thick moisture of sleep filled the corners of his eyes. His hands rubbed the blue orbs dry as he made his way to the Southerner's room.
Chris opened the door to find Nathan helping Ezra to drink from a glass of water. Even in the softly lit room he could see how pale Ezra's features were. His cheeks were flushed with the redness of a fever and his damp hair clung to his scalp. Chris waited a moment before moving forward. He took the glass from Nathan's hand so he could help Ezra to lie back down again. Another hoarse cough echoed through the large room before Ezra rolled over and drifted back to sleep.
"I think I'll spend the rest of the night in here." Nathan whispered to the man who stood over him.
"Is he that bad?" Chris could hear the concern in his own voice. He had become comfortable about showing his friends that he cared. The leader of Team Seven actually went out of his way to show Ezra that he was worried about him, especially when Ezra didn't have the strength to politely tell him what he could do with his emotional intentions.
"I think he's going through the worst of it now. Once he gets past this stage he should start getting better. Well, his flu anyway."
"Want some coffee?" Chris smiled at him. Nathan wasn't going to sleep for the rest of night so neither was he. It wasn't a problem, they both had the next day off. It was Friday, the day of Ezra's appointment to see the pyscologist. Both Nathan and Chris had decided to go with him, both for emotional and physical support.
"Thanks." Nathan smiled in return then turned back to watch Ezra sleep.
"How come we didn't see it coming Nathan. How come we didn't stop Porter from hasseling Ezra the way he did. Why didn't Ezra tell us there was something wrong." He stood with his hands on his hips, his shoulders were slumped as though they were carrying the burden of what was happening to his undercover agent.
"You don't see it coming Chris. Porter was our superior, we didn't have a choice, we could have been transferred, suspended or even fired. And Ezra probably didn't know something was wrong." Nathan explained.
"I should have supported him more when it came to Porter. I should have stood up for Ezra." Chris could feel his anger starting to boil.
"You did Chris, you did everything you could. I think Ezra felt more at home, a part of the family because of what you and the rest of us were doing for him."
"He's really starting to settle in isn't he." Chris smiled as the building anger suddenly left him. The memory of the football game they had played when they forced Ezra to accompany them to his cabin replayed itself in his mind. Ezra hadn't known how to play. They'd spent twenty minutes teaching him the game then five hours playing it. The Southerner had been covered in bruises by the end of the game but he didn't complain. Instead he had walked around the rest of the night with a smug smile on his face. For the first time since they had met him he looked content.
"You sit with him Chris, I'll go and make the coffee." Nathan stood up and patted his leader and friend on the shoulder.
"Thanks Nathan." Chris took a deep breath then settled down into the chair that Nathan had vacated.
They had made sure that there would be enough comfortable chairs in the room so more than one person could spend some time with Ezra. The Southerner slept most of the time but they still wanted to be there for him. Even when he was awake he apologised for not being the host that he should be. They had never seen Ezra so quite before, he usually always had something to say but he hardly spoke after each apology. The conversations were one sided but no one took offense by it, they understood.
Buck took the opportunity to tell Ezra about his latest conquests. JD told him bad jokes and discussed the latest play station games with himself. He always did though because Ezra had never had any experience with video games and didn't want to. Josiah read Ezra's favourite books to him and told him about the most recent news events. Nathan sat in the chair and watched him as the minutes ticked by looking for any sign of improvement or deteriation. Vin wasn't one for talking much so he sat with Ezra in a comfortable silence. Chris spent the most time with the undercover agent. He had taken responsibility for what was happening to Ezra. Chris was going to help his agent through his ordeal if it took one week or six months.
Chris moved to the bed quickly when Ezra started to cough again. Ezra still lay on his side so Chris began to rub his back hoping that it would help ease the cough. He could feel Ezra's lungs heaving for breath between each bout of coughing. He winced in sympathy.
"I feel like shit." Ezra groaned to whoever was rubbing his back.
"You want some more water Ezra?" Chris removed his hand from Ezra's back and began to stand up.
"Keep going please, it's the only thing that feels good at the moment." Ezra muttered. His words were becoming slurred already.
Chris sat back down on the bed and began rubbing the warm back once more. If it made Ezra feel better then he wasn't going to let the feeling of embrassement stop him. He didn't stop when Nathan came back into the room.
"I heard him coughing again. He okay?" Nathan sat the coffee down on the bed side table. He brought three cups in case Ezra woke up again and wanted to indulge in something warm.
"Yeah. He said this felt good so I kept going with it." Chris smiled. His cheeks were slightly red with embarrassement.
"I won't tell anyone." Nathan assured him.
"That's because you know what will happen if you do." Chris threatened the ex-medic.
"I'm not ready to die yet." Nathan smiled.
Chris leaned over Ezra's shoulder and felt more at ease when he saw the relaxed features. Ezra's breathing had leveled out as he moved silently from the waking world to the peaceful darkness of sleep. Chris pulled another blanket up over the sleeping form and settled back down into his chair. He quietly thanked Nathan as he accepted the steaming cup of coffee.
"How do you think he'll go tomorrow?" Nathan asked as he sat down in the chair on the other side of the bed. He continued to watch Ezra as he listened to Chris' answer.
"I think he won't last more than five minutes. The guy will ask one question, Ezra will tell him off then leave." Chris laughed at the image but knew that it was a serious situation. "When he does I'll throw him back in and lock the door."
"Sounds like a plan to me." Nathan agreed with Chris' idea. Although he silently hoped that it wouldn't come to that.
________________________________________
The pyschologist's waiting room was softly furnished with comfortable chairs and the large green plants that sat in each corner of the room gave it a natural feeling. Fresh flowers gave off a sickly sweet smell that was making Ezra feel even worse. Landscape paintings lined the pale walls, they were meant to help the patients relax in an enviroment that they did not want to be in. Ezra was not relaxed.
He had been forced from his bed at an ungodly hour that he couldn't recall. He was literally forced fed a high protein breakfast. He was then given a bath by Nathan and Chris. They ignored his verbal protests and easily held his arms down while one of them scrubed his flesh with a soaped sponge, his hair had been shampooed and his face shaven. Chris and Nathan dressed him, put his shoes and socks on and comb his hair. It had been a humilating experience. He had tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen. It had left him angry and that anger was simmering just below the surface of his tolerance level. If he'd had the physical strength he would have thrown them out of his home.
And now he was sitting here with Nathan and Chris sitting on either side of him, waiting to see a psychologist who was going to ask him personal questions. He wasn't going to answer them. They had arrived twenty minutes early which made the waiting part even worse. His stomach rolled, his head ached, his nose was blocked but running at the same time. He still wasn't able to understand how a nose could do that. If you try and breath through it, it refused to work but as soon as you started breathing through your mouth, your nose would start running. He sniffed.
"Use a tissue Ezra." Nathan told him.
"If I blow into a tissue the thin material will tear and then I will be left with mucus on my hands." Ezra retorted then took a breath. He'd have to stop talking so much, he continued to run out of breath when he did.
"It will make you feel sick." Nathan warned him.
"Actually it's quite welcoming on an already nauseated stomach." He had to catch his breath again. It was hard to talk and breath through your mouth at the same time. His nose still refused to work.
"Have you stopped to think that's what's making you feel sick to begin with." the ex-medic growled at him.
"I am a sick man Nathan, it is unfair to be angry with me when I don't have the energy to return the favour." Ezra actually smiled at him.
"Jesus Ezra, even with Burnout and the flu your still an aggrevating bastard." Nathan returned the smile and it grew when Ezra winked at him.
"It's my main goal in life, once it's completed I can go in peace." Gawd he had to stop talking so much.
Nathan knew Ezra was hiding behind his normal facade, the Southerner was worried about the confrontation they all expected to go wrong. Nathan had hated getting Ezra out of bed so early but the only available appointment was at eight thirty in the morning. He glanced sideways as Ezra leaned back and closed his eyes. Nathan grimaced in irritation as the Southerner sniffed again but he couldn't help but smile in satisfaction when Ezra grunted in response to the physical blow Chris inflicted upon him. The ex-medic then sat back and waited for the enivitable, he knew the position Ezra was in would casue him to begin coughing and that's exactly what happened half a minute later.
Ezra started coughing, he leaned forward and placed his head between his knees. He felt a hand on his back as it began to rub in a circular motion. He started to struggle for breath as he chest heaved.
"Mr Standish, you can go in now." A femine voice spoke from behind a counter.
Chris looked over towards the voice but couldn't see the body that it belonged to. He continued to rub Ezra's back even though the smaller man's coughing began to ease. "Just take your time Ezra, he can wait."
"Want some water Ezra?" Nathan asked him when he sat back up.
"No, I'm fine." Ezra coughed one more time then swallowed the results of the coughing fit.
"I wish you wouldn't do that!" Nathan continued with his admonitory attitude.
"Do what?" Ezra groaned, he was sick of being sick.
"Mr Standish!" The voice was louder this time and a face appeared above the counter. "You can go in now."
"You sure you don't want me to go in with you?" Chris still had his hand on Ezra's back.
"No." Ezra pushed himself out of the chair and made his way to the door that led to the emotional torture chamber. He stopped at the door and looked over his shoulder at Chris and Nathan. They both nodded at him. He turned back to the door and opened it. The Southerner walked into the room and shut the door behind him. He'd shut out his friends, the men who wanted to help him, who had offered to come in with him. He berated himself. They had done so much for him, they willing to do everything for him and he still couldn't accept it.
He hesitantly walked forward towards the chair that sat in front of the large pinewood table. The man who sat behind it was as old as his mother. The glasses that were worn on a Karl Malden nose made him look even older. The blue eyes that sat behind them watched him carefully as he sagged down into the chair. The man was scrutinising him. Ezra instantly knew that it was going to be a war of personalities that he wasn't sure he was going to win. If he was his normal self he would have wormed his way out of it ten minutes after it was suggested that he see a shrink. The trip here had been hell. He hated being so weak that he couldn't even walk a short distance without help. He didn't know how he managed to get from the waiting room to this chair.
Ezra return the stare, his eyes were unflinching. Maybe he didn't have the strength to win the fight but was sure as hell going to make it as difficult as he possibly could. He knew his body language was making him look weak. He didn't cross his legs or fold his arms across his chest. His limbs felt as though they had weights attached to them. He didn't want to lift them or change position unless he had to.
"Mr Standish." The Doctor stood up and leaned over the desk to shake hands. He was forcing Ezra to stand so he could return the greeting.
Ezra refused to moved. "Yes."
"I'm Doctor Hancock." he sat back down.
Ezra smiled at the name, if his brain was working properly he could come up with some nice comments but he only came up with one word. "And?"
"And I'm here to help you." Hancock stated in a deep voice that was husky due to the packet of cigarettes he smoked daily.
"Help me with what?" Ezra stubbornly raised an eyebrow.
"Why don't you tell me."
"Tell you what?" Ezra asked innocently. Maybe it wasn't going to be so hard afterall.
"What I can help you with."
"You want to help me?"
"Yes."
"With what?"
A twitch began to show itself in the Doctor's body language. His left eye started to blink. "You won't win this game Mr Standish."
"I already have." Ezra spoke confidently.
The Doctor picked up his phone. "Joy, can you send Mr Larabee in please."
"Aw hell." Ezra allowed himself to sink lower into his chair. He didn't turn his head as he boss walked into the room. The door was slammed shut and the Southerner winced at the anger he knew was there. Ezra still refused to look at Chris when he sat down next to him. He could feel the blue eyes boaring into him. His left hand slowly moved upwards and he leaned towards it so he could hide his face.
"Your agent does not want to co-operate. I as a professional can not force him to talk to me so I thought you would like a few minutes alone with him." Hancock stood up and left the room that was now filled with tension so thick you could choke on it.
Chris knew what was happening as soon as the receptionist asked him to go into the Doctor's rooms. He was being stubborn, no doubt refusing to answer questions or talk about what was happening to him. He waited patiently for Ezra to say something. He knew the game and how to play it. He listened as Ezra coughed then sniffed. He hit him again. He hated that habit.
"Ouch." Ezra tried to get the sympathy he thought would help him get through this.
"Then don't sniff." Chris told him.
"Who needs friends when you've got enimies like you guys." Ezra muttered.
Chris smiled at the 'friends' part of the insult. He still waited for Ezra to make the first move.
"I don't want to talk about it Chris."
"You don't or you won't?" Chris looked at him but Ezra's hand still covered his face. He could see it shaking with the weight of Ezra's skull.
If he didn't say it Ezra knew he was going to be here all day. "I can't Chris."
"Why not?"
"Don't know how to." Ezra wanted to drop his hand. It was shaking under his weight but he didn't want Chris to see his face. "Like football, no one ever told me how to. It's as hard to start as it is to give up a nasty habit."
"Like sniffing?" The humour sounded in Chris' voice.
"Yeah."
It may have seemed amusing to Chris but he knew that Ezra wasn't laughing. The Southerner was quite serious about his lack of ability to talk about things.
"I'll help you." Chris stood up and gently pulled Ezra's hand down. He turned to walk to the door.
"Chris. Please don't tell the others about what I might say in here." Ezra hesitated. "I don't want them to know how weak I am."
"Your not weak Ezra, and if you weren't sick I would beat that into you." Chris growled at him.
Ezra knew the threat was a serious one. Chris would probably even do it when he recovered from this Burnout crap that he was suffering from. Burnout. Hell, he wasn't stressed, he didn't get stressed. It had to have been caused by something else. He listened as Chris opened the door and told the Doctor that his patient was ready. Ezra denied the title, he wasn't a patient, he wouldn't be returning after this visit.
The undercover agent didn't look up when the Doctor walked around his desk and sat down. He could feel the sets of eyes looking at him. Both men were waiting for him to start. But how could he, he didn't know how to, he wasn't sure what he should say, he didn't know what they wanted to hear.
"Doctor Hancock," Chris got the doctor's attention, "Ezra has this trait, you see, he hates talking about himself, he's the type of guy that doesn't want to worry people because he knows they have their own problems. So if you don't mind I'll start for him and then he can fill in the rest or answer any questions you have."
Hancock looked at Ezra, he wanted the young man to talk and if it required his boss to do it for him then so be it. He knew that once Ezra started he wouldn't be able to stop. "It's not something that I usually allow but I think the circumstances warrant it."
Ezra felt the relief wash over him. His tense muscles relaxed and his fear retreated from his mind. He was grateful for the explanation Chris had given the Doctor but he wasn't sure that Hancock believed it. Ezra didn't care, the man had excepted it. Now he was concerned about what Chris was going to say.
"Ezra's suffering from Burnout. The Doctor said that it's stress related. Ezra doesn't believe it, he reckons his not stressed. He's an undercover agent, a job that would stress out any normal person but not Ezra. He thrives on it. But this last case was hard on him. Six weeks he was undercover on an arms related case. Someone else was in charge of the case and he caused Ezra a lot of problems. He put pressure on him. If a case isn't going to well or someone puts the sort of pressure on him that Porter did he thinks he did something wrong and takes responsibility for it, blames himself and starts pushing himself."
"Do you think this would have happened if Agent Porter wasn't involved?" Hancock was looking at Ezra when the question was asked.
"No." Chris answered the question.
"What about you Ezra? Do you think it would have happened?"
"No." Ezra just wanted to crawl away and die.
"Why not?"
"What?"
"Why do you think it wouldn't have happened if Porter wasn't in charge?" Hancock asked a second time.
Ezra looked down at his hands. If only he could die right now, right this second. It didn't happen. "I wouldn't have worried about failing the team."
"Is that what you thought? That you would fail?"
"That's what he told me." Ezra admitted.
"You believed him?"
"I've failed before, I'll fail again. It's just harder to deal with it when someone expects you to."
Chris clenched his fists and tried to repress the anger that had begin to build.
"Would you like to talk about it? Let us know what happened? Maybe you can give an example of something he said to you." Hancock suggested.
Ezra looked sideways at Chris. He saw the anger in his eyes but knew it wasn't aimed at him. He took a deep breath and began to talk about his first meeting with Agent Horris Porter.
________________________________________
Six Weeks Earlier
Chris Larabee heard the ding that announced the elevator's arrival. His eyebrows raised themselves in mild surprise. Ezra Standish was going to be on time for once. Once was the correct term, it had never happened before. He looked around the room at his agents to find them with the same look of surprise that he had. They were all watching the door waiting for his arrival, no doubt with some smart ass comments at the ready. When Ezra did arrive Chris blinked in surprise. The Southerner had put on weight, and a lot of it. He'd also lost some hair.
"Geez Ezra, you gained a bit of weight." Buck told the man who stood in the doorway.
"Been to a fancy dress party?" Nathan added.
The man looked behind him then turned back to glare at the men in the room. His look of confusion caused Buck to laugh behind his hand.
"I'm Agent Horris Porter." The Agent adjusted the belt that held his trousers up. It was a useless device because the pants were too tight to begin with. "I'm here to take control of the Chambers case."
"Excuse me?" Chris growled.
"I said . . . umf!" The man fell foward and landed against the conference table.
"Nice tackle." Chris congradulated Ezra as he stepped into the room.
"What just happened here?" Ezra walked around so he could face the man who struggled to push his weight off the table.
"You knocked over Agent Horris Porter." JD told him.
"Horris?" Ezra raised a questioning eyebrow at his friends.
"Who the hell are you?" Porter demanded of Ezra.
"Ezra Standish. Undercover agent extraodinaire." He put his hand out but the man glared at it then at him.
"Sorry." Ezra shrugged then made his way to his usual chair. "Who the hell is he?" he asked Vin as he sat down.
"Didn't you listen to JD. He's Agent Horris Porter." Vin nodded his head as if he was confirming that the man who stood glaring at Ezra was an important person. Well it seemed that Porter obviously thought he was important. "He's come to take over the case."
"Not if Chris can help it." Ezra smiled at Porter then grimaced in disgust.
"What makes you think your taking over the case?" Chris leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest.
"I have the appropiate papers that say I can." He threw a folder towards Chris. It got as far as Vin who picked it up and looked at it. "They are for Larabee's eyes only."
"He is my eyes." Chris growled harshly at the man. He had taken an instant dislike to him and he could tell his men had also.
Vin passed it to Ezra who quickly glanced at it.
"He your eyes too?" The sarcasm sounded in Porter's voice.
"Yep." Was all Chris would say. He took his time reading the document. It did give the man the authority to take over. There was nothing he was going to be able to do about it. "Why?"
"I've been after Chambers for a while now. I didn't like the idea of someone else getting him before I did." He smiled, his crooked teeth did not help his facial features. "Now it's my case and your working for me."
"Sorry guys, he has the paper work. Can't stop him." Chris stared at Porter until the man looked away from him.
"I want everything you have on the case brought to me. I'll be taking over your office Larabee . . . "
"No you won't!" The tone in Chris' voice told Porter that it would be over his dead body. "You can use this room."
"Then bring everything you have here."
"You heard the man." Chris got up and left. His men followed him.
________________________________________
Ezra gathered his belongings together, it was the end of another working day and he was looking forward to going home and relaxing. He looked up when he heard the door open expecting to see one of his friends but instead the door frame was filled by the large form of Horris Porter. A sarcastic comment flew through his mind but he refused to voice it. His green eyes followed Porter as he moved around his office. He grimaced in disgust as the man touched his belongings, glanced over them and threw them back on the table.
"Did you want something?" Ezra took his things and placed them in his brief case out of the man's way.
"I've heard about you." Porter slumped into the chair that was meant for friendly visitors. "You still on the take?"
"Never was." Ezra didn't hesitate.
"That's not what I heard." Porter glared at the undercover agent but the man didn't flinch under his stare.
"Then you heard wrong." Ezra picked up his case, he wanted to leave before he said something he might later regret.
"I don't think so." Porter stood up and moved towards Ezra. "I read your file."
"It was all hearsay."
Porter turned away from him and walked towards the door. He closed it then leaned against it. "Bet it's nice to have a rich mother. Are you a mummies boy." It wasn't a question.
"Like I said. Did you want something?" Ezra began to get an uneasy feeling that he didn't like. He knew he was alone with this man, the others had gone home already.
"Just making conversation." He took a step forward. "Nothing wrong with that."
"What do you want?" Ezra asked for the third time.
"You were kicked out of the FBI weren't you. They couldn't prove what was true so they got rid of you."
Ezra stayed silent.
"I don't like you, they should have charged you and sent you to jail with the rest of the criminals. Your scum, a failure who couldn't live up to mummies expectations. What did she do, cut you off, did you have to make your own money to pay your bills." Porter had moved while he talked, he now stood facing Ezra.
"Then why don't you take me off the case." Ezra still wasn't sure what this man wanted.
"No your staying. Your the best undercover agent there is even if your bent so I'm here to give you a warning. I know what a failure you are, you couldn't even be on the take without getting caught. If you fail on this case and cost me Chambers then you'll pay with more than just your job."
"Are you threatening me?" Ezra was actually amused that this guy who was overweight, obviously unfit was threatening him.
"Yes I am and there is nothing you can do about it." Porter smiled, his tongue flicked out over his crooked stained teeth.
"And why do you think that?" Ezra sat back down in his chair. His poker face was being held firmly in place.
"No one would believe you that's why." Porter continued to smile thinking he had the undercover agent where he wanted him.
Ezra wanted to do nothing more than beat the smug smile off the fat man's face but he knew that it would give Porter the excuse that he needed. He couldn't understand why this man was threatening him.
"Chris would believe me." Ezra knew that his leader would, he was confident of that.
"Larabee doesn't matter, there are people higher up in the department that wouldn't believe you. But they would believe any accusation that I make. I have a reputable record, you don't."
"You think that I'll fail and yet you want me to stay on the case. Sounds pretty stupid to me." Ezra smiled up at him.
"Why you good for nothin' bastard!" Porter leaned forward and lifted Ezra to his feet, he slammed him against the wall and pressed his right forearm against his neck.
"Your weight gives the impression that your too fat for capable physical activities." Ezra grimaced.
"You've go a big mouth." Porter told him.
"So everyone keeps telling me." Ezra managed to smile.
"Well I'm going to put an end to it." Porter slammed his meaty fist into Ezra's stomach.
Ezra felt the air leave his lungs. He tried to double over but Porter held him up. He wanted to retaliate but the man's words echoed in his mind. 'There are people higher up who wouldn't believe you.' Ezra knew this was true. It had happened in the FBI. He had friends here who would believe him but like Porter said, they don't matter, they wouldn't be on the Hearing Committee if Porter made a complaint about being assaulted by him. He clenched his fist and closed his mouth, he knew that it would be a game that he would not win. There were plenty of people in the ATF who would like to see him go. If he retaliated it would give them the opportunity to get rid of him. He didn't want that, he'd found a family here and if he had to put up with this piece of shit to keep them then he would.
________________________________________
Present Day
"He threatened you then used physical violence." Chris tried to keep the anger out of his voice but he failed.
"What was I supposed to do? Hit him back? He was right. There are people who would believe him over me. I would have been fired the next day." Ezra retorted.
"Ezra I'm not angry with you, I . . . "
"No but your thinking it. Why didn't he hit him? Why didn't he tell me about it?" Ezra had enough. He used his hands to push himself up but felt Chris' hand grab his arm and pull him back down.
"That's not what I'm thinking Ezra." Chris spoke more calmly. "I was thinking that Porter is a dead man for threatening one of my men, for hurting my friend. That's what I was thinking."
"Was it like that for the six weeks that he led the operation." Hancock asked.
Ezra's eyes were staring at his hands that were in his lap. He nodded silently. He knew what they were thinking. He was weak, too weak to fight back. He'd let the man walk all over him and control his life both in his work life and his private life. He was yet to tell them about that. What would Chris think if he'd told him that Porter would even call him in the early hours of the morning. The conversations had been one sided. He would complain about something Ezra had done that day while he was undercover. Porter would claim that it was something that would cause him to loose Chambers. He continued to threaten him, telling him that he would make sure he was going to loose his job if he failed. Ezra continued to take it because he believed what Porter had told him.
He wasn't going to loose again. He intended to stay with the ATF and Team Seven. He'd put up with this sort of crap before and got over it. He knew when the case was over Porter would leave and he would still be here. That's what he wanted and that's what had happened. He didn't want to think about where he would be if he stood up for himself. He felt stupid for standing down, he felt like a coward and a failure but he was still here and Porter wasn't. His mother had taught him not to go against a stacked deck and that was what Porter was. And so was his mother. A stacked deck that you couldn't win against.
"Mr Larabee, I'd like to talk to Ezra alone." The psychologist nodded towards the door.
"Sure." Chris squeezed Ezra's shoulder hoping the touch would tell him that he was there for him and would back him all the way.
Ezra continued to stare at his hands. He heard the door close and a feeling of abandonment overcame him.
Hancock stood up, he noticed Ezra's eyes flicker towards him. He continued his slow movements until he was sitting in the chair next to Ezra.
"Why did you allow him to do it?"
"I told you. They would believe him over me." Ezra answered in a tone that was full of defeat.
"That's bull shit and you know it. Tell me why you allowed him to treat you that way?"
Ezra looked at the man next to him. "It won't leave this room?"
"No." The Doctor waited for Ezra to start talking but the stubborn agent returned to staring at his hands.
"Ezra, don't think of it as talking about yourself or your problems. It's just like answering a question, you do that every day."
Ezra took a deep breath before beginning but it caused him to cough instead. Hancock waited patiently. He knew that once someone took that first step for the undercover agent it would be easier for him to take over. He watched the body language, it gave an impression of someone who was insecure about himself.
"My mother taught me not to make friends. She said that if someone wanted to be your friend it meant that they were after something. I didn't listen to her at first. I made a couple of friends but my mother took me away and sent me to another boarding school. I never seemed to fit in, the others didn't like me, they seemed to enjoy picking on me. Mother continued to encourage me not to make friends. After a while I began to see why she told me not to so I stopped. I became a loner and have been that way ever since. It's become my life. I won't let anyone get close to me. I wasn't willing to loose another friend or be disappointed by one.
Chris and the rest of the guys wanted to be my friend. I wouldn't let them but it didn't stop them." He smiled at the memory. "They kept pushing me until it all came to a head. They forced me to go to Chris' cabin for a three day weekend. By the end of the three days I had accepted their friendship. They haven't let me down." Ezra stopped, his eyes slowly drifted towards the psychologist. "What if they did believe him over me. I would get transferred or fired. I'd loose them. They're like family to me now. If Porter won, I'd loose them."
"They sound like they're worth keeping." Hancock smiled. "You won't loose them Ezra. I don't think they would allow that to happen."
"They wouldn't be able to stop it." Ezra looked away and hung his head.
"I think Chris would have a few friends of his own. He wouldn't allow them to get rid of you Ezra. I think you should trust him more in that regard."
"I thought if I told them about it they would think that I was a coward, to weak to fight back."
Hancock smiled again. He didn't have to ask the question. The Southerner was talking on his own now. "But that's what you think isn't it?"
Ezra nodded. "Another thing my mother taught me. Don't show your feelings, people will think your weak and then they'll take advantage of you."
"Not every one is going to think of you the same way that you do Ezra."
"I haven't met one yet." Ezra muttered.
"There's two outside in the waiting room and from what I know about your team there are four more." Hancock assured him.
"I'm afraid that if it came down to it, they wouldn't fight to keep me here."
"From what you've told me, I know Porter didn't cause you the stress, neither did the job. You've spent the last six weeks worrying yourself sick that you were going to loose the only real friends that you have ever made. You were afraid they would leave you or allow you to leave them. That's what has caused you the stress that's led to you burning yourself out. You should ask them what they would have done." The Doctor suggested. "I'm sure you won't regret it."
"I'll think about it."
"Good enough for me Ezra." He stood up and walked towards the door. "I'll see you on Tuesday then."
"Tuesday?" Ezra twisted around to look at him.
"Yes. Tuesday at three." Hancock opened the door and poked his head around the corner. "Mr Larabee you can come and take your friend home now."
________________________________________
Chris risked a look at his undercover agent, his eyes stared into the rear view mirror for as long as he dared. Ezra was lying down on the back seat, his eyes were closed and his arms were folded across his chest. He looked away and adjusted the mirror back to it's former position. He turned his attention to Nathan who was sitting in the passenger seat.
"Is he okay?" Chris whispered.
Nathan glanced over his shoulder and watched the Southerner for a few minutes. He could feel Chris' eyes as they continued to watch him and the road ahead. The ex-medic smiled as he watched the steady rise and fall of Ezra's chest. "He's sleeping." He turned back around and watched Chris. "What happened? Did he say anything?"
"He asked me not to tell you or the others." Chris was going to do what Ezra had asked of him.
Nathan nodded. "Did it help him?"
"I don't know." Chris shook his head. He now knew what Porter had put Ezra through. He chastised himself for not seeing it and helping his agent.
It was another fifteen minutes before they arrived back at Ezra's townhouse. Chris parked his dodge in the street. Ezra's jaguar still filled the garage. Neither man wanted to wake Ezra so they decided to carry him into his home then bed. Chris opened the door and put his arms under Ezra's shoulders and began to pull him out of the car. Ezra shifted and groaned in protest.
"It's okay Ezra, go back to sleep." Chris waited until the smaller man settled down once more.
Nathan took Ezra's upper body while Chris lifted his legs out, he then gathered him into his arms like a child and carried him towards the front door of his apartment. He heard the door close behind him and then another open in front of him. Four men marched towards him with concerned expressions on their faces.
"What's wrong?" Buck started.
"Did something happen to him." Josiah looked down at Ezra's relaxed features.
"He hurt?" Vin's tone threatened to harm the culprit with physical violence if his friend had been hurt.
"He's sleeping, now get out of my way!" Nathan growled at them.
"Sleeping." Josiah repeated.
"He fell asleep in the back of the car on the way home." Chris explained as he pushed them out of Nathan's way.
"So he's okay then?" Buck followed them into the apartment and then towards the bedroom.
"He's fine Buck." Chris didn't look back at him. "Geez, if you were capable of making decent coffee I would tell you to go and make some."
"Yeah well I can't so I'm staying." Buck stood defiantly at the foot of the bed.
"If your staying could you at least be quiet then. You'll wake him up!" Nathan growled at him.
"How did he go?" Vin demanded to know.
"He wouldn't talk to start with, I got him started. The Doctor then asked me to leave so he could talk to Ezra." He didn't tell them what he told Nathan. "He has to go back on Tuesday."
"That means he didn't do okay." Buck spoke again.
"It could also mean that he did." Josiah retorted.
"If he did okay he wouldn't have to go back." Buck turned on him.
"It could also mean that he want's to see how much he's improving since their last talk." Josiah continued.
"He could do that anytime." Buck continued to argue with the ex-preacher.
"Will you two shut up!" Chris' cold tone stopped them dead. "You'll wake Ezra!"
They all looked towards the living room when the phone began to ring. Vin ran out of the room to answer it. Buck rushed to the door to close it. Chris watched Ezra to see if the noise was going to wake him. It didn't, he was sleeping soundly on top of the bed cover. They could hear Vin's muffled voice become angry then it abruptly ended.
"Everybody out." Nathan ordered them. "I'll take care of Ezra."
They reluctantly left the room, each man looked at Ezra before they left. Chris closed the door after him. Vin stood in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips.
"That was Maude. She wanted to speak to Ezra. Said she couldn't. She didn't like that. Says she'll call back later and her son better be awake so she can talk to him. Reckons it's important." Vin lifted his hand off his
hip. The end of the telephone cord was hanging from his fingers. "I made sure she couldn't phone back."
"Nice one Vin." Buck smiled.
"JD. I want you to do something for me." Chris walked the younger man towards the door. "I want you to do a background check on Agent Horris Porter. Go deep, I want everything you can get on him." He handed him his car keys. "Keep this between you and me, I don't want the others to know yet."
"Sure Chris." JD stopped and looked at the man he respected and admired. "It was him wasn't it? That caused Ezra to get sick."
"Something like that. It's why I don't want the others to know yet."
"No problem Chris. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Let me know if anything else happens." He took a quick look at Ezra's bedroom door then left.
Chris waited a moment before turning around. He knew his eyes would be full of anger and if the others saw it they would begin their questions. He wasn't ready to answer them. He wanted Ezra to do that.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
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