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azombiewritesTitle: The Betrayal
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language, violence and drug use.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest.
Summary: Team Seven believe that Ezra Standish has betrayed them.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Notes: Lenny Hoskins is my creation. I don't have any medical knowledge- forgive any mistakes.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 96,713
Lenny listened to Chris's explanation of what happened, then waited patiently for Buck to finish his exaggeration of what JD had done, he felt like telling him he had heard everything that happened from his vantage point in the room but decided not to spoil his fun.
"Collins drew you out so Glading could get up here?" Lenny asked.
"Yeah, that's what I thought." Chris knew what the FBI Agent was thinking, that the team had failed, that they were incompetent.
"But he would have to know that all of you wouldn't go after him, that some would stay behind to protect Ezra." Lenny thought aloud. "Even Glading would have known he'd either get caught or killed in his attempt to kill Ezra."
"Maybe Glading could give us an answer to those questions because I have no idea why they tried something so stupid." Chris answered Lenny's spoken thoughts.
"Somehow I don't think you’re going to get much out of him." Lenny confirmed what Chris was thinking.
"I have to agree with you on that point." Chris smiled at him, this man continued to surprise him, he thought he would take the opportunity to degrade them once again but he didn't.
"I for one would like to know who told them what floor Ezra was on." Buck stated, he knew there was more than one answer to that question. Collins could have gotten that information easily.
"I don't think Collins is going to try something like that again, he'll wait until Ezra leaves the hospital." Lenny moved towards the waiting area's chairs and sat down heavily into one of them. "I think it was more of a test to see how many of you would go after him and how many would stay with Ezra."
"He's up to something." Chris followed Lenny and sat in the chair across from him.
"I'm surprised the guy stayed around." Lenny looked up at Chris. "He's set his mind to killing Ezra hasn't he?"
"He won't succeed, we'll make sure of that." Chris assured him.
"We'll need to take him somewhere safe when the Doctor discharges him. Got any suggestions?" Lenny asked him.
"I'd like to take him somewhere quite, somewhere that's going to be hard for him to get away from, somewhere that will also give us a chance to talk to him." Chris smiled. "We'll take him to my place."
"The one in the mountains, won't that leave us a bit isolated." Lenny wasn't sure that it was a good idea. "I don't like it. Collins isn't going to go up against seven of us, he'll just wait until we bring Ezra back into the city."
"It may draw him out, we can't keep Ezra in hiding for too long, not in the city anyway, he'll go nuts, he'll manage to get away from us, he always does, and where will that leave him. Out in the open where Collins will be waiting for him." Chris explained. "You said you know Ezra better than us. How long will you be able to keep him in a room before he tries to get away." Chris raised his eyebrows at Lenny's expression, he had made his point.
"We'd be lucky to keep him locked up for more than a couple of days." Lenny agreed with Chris's argument.
"He's less likely to try and get away from us if he's surrounded by mountains, even Ezra's not that stupid." Chris continued with his argument, he knew Lenny was beginning to agree with him.
"But he's stubborn and sometimes that stubbornness can make him do stupid things." Lenny warned Chris.
"Collins is going to get desperate if we make him wait, he'll either try something stupid and if he does we'll be waiting for him or he'll give up and try and leave the state, in which case he'll be caught." Chris told him.
"We both know he won't leave." Lenny sighed and looked towards Ezra's door. He knew Chris was right, if they kept Ezra locked up in a small room or house in the city he'd go crazy and then do something stupid. He would think that he was the prisoner and try to escape but he was also worried that Collins would wait, he'd already waited nearly three weeks before trying to kill Ezra and he was sure that he could wait even longer but Chris had a point. If Collins thought, they were going to stay in the mountains he might be pushed into making another attempt and they would be waiting for him. "Two weeks, and if Collins hasn't tried anything we come back."
"Agreed." Chris accepted the two weeks, the Judge had already transferred their cases to other ATF teams, and he had known Ezra was going to need protection until Collins and Glading were caught, they now had one of them in custody, and it would only be a matter of time before the other one was caught or killed.
"Do you think Doctor Falex would give Nathan another one of those pills that he slipped me." He smiled at Chris.
"Because I'm not going to be able to talk Ezra into going anywhere with you guys."
________________________________________
Ezra grimaced as the dawn's new light broke through into the comforting darkness that caressed his mind, the light wasn't going to let him sleep, he hated this time of the day. He squeezed his eyes tighter against the evasion but it only caused bolts of pain to flow through his skull so he tried to roll away from it instead, this caused another pain to erupt in his chest. He reluctantly turned back over, he felt someone squeeze his hand but he didn't respond to the touch, he just wanted to go back to the darkness, he felt safe there, he didn't have to talk to anyone and he knew they were going to start talking to him. Lenny had promised him that he wouldn't let them back in but he knew Lenny, he would find another way.
He turned his head away from the light that was becoming even brighter, he felt the pressure against his hand again. He was grateful that Lenny didn't start talking to him to get him to open his eyes, but he knew it was only a matter of time so why delay the inevitable. He opened his eyes but the weight of sleep quickly closed them again, he waited then tried again, this time succeeding. Ezra's eyes finally focused on the form that was sitting with him, he was shocked to see Nathan at his bedside. The idea of sleep suddenly left him.
"Where's Lenny?" He tried to sit up so he could search the room.
"It's okay Ezra." Nathan gently pushed him back down, which wasn't hard considering the smaller man was still weak. "He's in the other bed."
"The other bed?" His struggles continued as he panicked. "What happened to him Nathan?"
"He's sleeping Ezra, he's just catching up on some much needed sleep." He felt Ezra relax and removed his hands from his chest.
"Sleeping?" Ezra tried to lift his head so he could confirm Nathan's words with physical evidence but he didn't have the strength so he allowed it to fall back onto the pillow.
"Yeah, he hasn't been doing much of that lately, he won't leave you alone and you wouldn't let anyone else sit with you except me." Nathan explained to him.
"Don't start on me Nathan." Ezra warned him.
"I'm not starting anything Ezra." Nathan looked across the room at Lenny's sleeping form. "It's only the second time in three weeks that he has actually slept more than a few hours, the first time I had to slip him something to make him sleep." His gaze turned back to Ezra and he saw the concern flash through his eyes and inwardly smiled, he and Lenny had spoken about this earlier, Nathan was to try to make Ezra feel guilty, and that guilt may allow another member of the team to stay with him. "Can't even remember when he last had a decent meal."
"It won't work Nathan." But Ezra knew it would, Lenny always knew how to get the better of him.
"What won't?" Nathan asked innocently but he knew Ezra could see straight through him, he wasn't as good at conning people as Ezra was.
"The guilt trip." Ezra enlightened him. "I know Lenny just as well as he knows me, he put you up to this didn't he?"
"Yes he did, but he's got a point Ezra, I wasn't lying about his lack of sleep or not eating properly." Nathan smiled at him. "He thought if I told you about it you would feel guilty enough to let one of the others sit with you."
"Aw hell." Ezra moaned.
"I assumed that it worked." Nathan inquired as he watched Ezra's face contort into a grimace.
"Lenny knew it would, just do me a favour and make sure it's when I'm sleeping." He tore his eyes from Lenny's inert form. "I don't want to talk to them or look at them, if I wake up they have to leave the room."
"I'll tell them Ezra." He squeezed his hand again.
Ezra frowned down at his hand, he'd forgotten that Nathan was holding it. "Do you have to keep doing that Nathan." It wasn't a question, if Nathan didn't let go he would pull his hand away.
"Sorry Ezra." Nathan tried to understand but he couldn't, it was only a simple gesture that would show Ezra that he cared but like everything else, he rejected it.
Ezra had refused to accept it for what it was, concern. Nathan knew that he would think there was another reason for it, that he would think that the giver would ask for something in return. He quietly let out the breath he was holding and sat back into the chair.
"They're going to give you solids today." Nathan changed the subject.
"Great, they are going to try and succeed where Collins didn't?" Ezra hated the food in this place.
"If you don't eat it Ezra, they'll just keep you here longer and I know you don't want that." Nathan leaned forward again and rested his forearms on the bed.
Ezra nodded and closed his eyes, he knew he wouldn't go back to sleep, he was becoming less tired as each day passed but he also turned away from Nathan because he could tell by his body language that he wanted to say something else.
"Ezra could you look at me please." Nathan waited patiently.
Ezra knew this was coming, he turned his head and opened his eyes, he could see the conflict that Nathan was going through, he allowed Ezra to see into his soul.
"I want to talk about what happened." Nathan ignored the building anger in Ezra's eyes.
"I don't." Ezra tautly replied.
"We have to talk about it at some point Ezra, it may as well be now." Nathan argued.
"I don't want to talk about it at anytime so drop it." The anger was becoming evident in Ezra's voice, and visible on his countenance but Nathan continued to ignore it.
"Ezra it'll help both of us to talk about it." Nathan tried to convince him but he could tell by the determined expression that Ezra's face held that he wasn't going to agree to his request to talk about what happened.
"NO!" His agitation caused Nathan to become submissive.
"Alright Ezra, if that's what you want." Nathan sat back into the chair once more and looked over at Lenny to see if
Ezra's raised voice disturbed him, it hadn't, like Ezra he seemed to sleep like the dead.
Ezra continued to watch Nathan while his face was turned away, he could see the torment that he was going through and that he did need to talk about. He sighed to himself, when did he begin to care about these people, he still couldn't actually work out the moment that he realised these men could become friends, he had pushed them away not wanting them to get close to him but somehow they managed to slowly break through his emotional defences.
"Lenny's been teaching you how to inflict guilt hasn't he?" Ezra saw the confusion in Nathan's eyes. "Talk about it if you want Nathan, I can see you need to but don't expect me to talk, I'll listen but that's all I'll do." He wasn't going to open himself up so the larger man could see all the hurt they had caused, he would keep that to himself as always.
"You're not going to like what I have to say Ezra." Nathan warned him.
"I don't think anything you say will change the way I feel about the others and what they did to me." Ezra watched him carefully.
"I'm not talking about them." He looked away from Ezra's scrutiny. "What I have to say may change the way you feel about me at the moment."
"If you’re trying to change my mind about listening to you Nathan your doing a pretty good job of it." Ezra forced a smile onto his face, he was now dreading what Nathan was going to say.
Nathan looked down at his hands, he couldn't look Ezra in the eye anymore. "I accepted what I thought you had become because I expected it." He could feel Ezra's frown, he didn't have to look at him to know what he was thinking. "Deep down I always thought you'd run out on us again, turn your back on us, you just did it in a way that I didn't expect." He began to fidget with his hands. "I wasn't angry because I thought you always had it in you, so instead of being angry over something I anticipated, I decided to help you." He finally looked up at Ezra, he could see the hurt in his eyes but it quickly disappeared under his gaze. "What you did, it didn't surprise me."
"When you were told that I was using drugs and selling information . . . you weren't surprised." Ezra was shocked.
"You always thought I was capable of doing something like that."
"I was at first but when I stopped to think about it . . . yeah, I wasn't shocked and I think that's why I didn't stay angry at you, I ended up feeling sorry for you." Nathan waited for the angry outburst but it didn't happen. "I'm sorry Ezra."
"Why you're only being honest." Ezra turned away from him. "You're confirming what I always knew, that none of you trusted me, all of you expected me to run out on the team, you thought it was only a matter of time."
"But the other guys do trust you Ezra, it was only Chris and myself." Nathan waited, hoping to get a response.
"I don't believe that Nathan, if it were true they wouldn't have treated me that way, Buck wouldn't have kicked me the way he did." Ezra turned his eyes back to Nathan. "I saw the hate in their eyes Nathan. That emotion was real and there's nothing they could say that would change what I saw." He could feel his eyes filling with moisture, he lifted his arm and weakly wiped away the tears before they could fall. "I put everything on the line to catch this guy Nathan and I lost, I lost the friendship that I thought was beginning to develop, I'll probably lose my job because the FBI won't take me back. I'm going to lose everything."
"Chris and the others are willing to fight to get that friendship back Ezra, so am I." Nathan could feel his heart tighten. "And if you’re willing to fight also . . ." He left the sentence unfinished.
"I'm too tired to fight Nathan, I don't know if I want that sort of friendship." He rolled his head away from him and closed his eyes. "It's not worth the effort, Mother was right, people only pretend to be your friend and when the test comes they always fail."
"We won't fail again Ezra." Nathan knew Ezra wasn't willing to listen anymore, he was grateful that Ezra hadn't gotten angry and demanded that he leave the room, it was a start in repairing the damage to the friendship that he had caused.
________________________________________
Chris paced the waiting room, he was told that Doctor Falex would be up to see him thirty minutes ago and he was still waiting, he knew Vin and Josiah were watching him from the chairs they occupied. They hadn't managed to get any information out of Glading and returned to the hospital to make sure JD and Ezra were okay. Buck and JD were talking to Julie to make sure that she was alright, she had brushed it off like they usually did but Buck knew that something wasn't right so he thought they would spend some time with her, get her to talk about what happened.
The dark clad leader turned to head back towards the elevator when Falex finally stepped from it into the waiting area. Chris walked straight towards him, he didn't want to give him any time to compose himself, and he knew he would argue if he had the chance.
"We need to know how soon Ezra can be discharged." Chris was a threatening figure but Falex didn't flinch under his gaze.
"At least another week, we're going to start him on solid food today to see how he goes and . . . " Falex began but Chris became impatient as always.
"That's too long, we need to get him somewhere safe, we don't want the person who is trying to kill him to make another attempt while he's here. Someone else might get hurt next time." Chris didn't hold back on what he was thinking, the Doctor needed to know that Ezra's life wasn't the only one under threat.
"Ezra suffered a traumatic head wound, you can't just start dragging him around every time you think someone is going to try and kill him." Falex became defensive.
"He won't be dragged around, you'll give him something that will make him sleep for at least eight hours so we can take him somewhere quiet until this guy is caught." Chris smiled at him.
"I'm going to what?" Falex actually laughed at the suggestion.
"You heard me Doctor. Now how soon can he leave?" Chris repeated the question.
"You're going to take him anyway aren't you?" Falex frowned at him and saw the confirmation of what he said in Chris's blue eyes. "You'll make sure he gets plenty of rest, he has to eat, he's lost a lot of weight that he needs to gain back, and he's not to do anything strenuous." The Doctor gave up, he knew that if he didn't agree with him that they would sneak Standish out as soon as his back was turned. At least this way he could give them instructions and have them take some medication with them.
"Even if we have to tie him down." Chris agreed.
"I have a chest x-ray and CAT Scan arranged for this afternoon, if there clear and he takes to solids . . . three days and no sooner." Falex gave Chris one of his own looks but the man didn't even wince. 'Going to have to work on that.' He thought to himself. "I want your word you won't help him escape before then."
"You have it." Chris smiled at him.
________________________________________
Lenny threw the blanket off in frustration, how was anyone supposed to get any sleep with all that racket. He tried to keep out of it as long as he could but Ezra's stubbornness got the better of him, he had a way of making a Saint want to hit him. He had listened to his protests long enough. He jumped out of the bed and stormed towards the one that Ezra was sitting up in.
"That's it Ezra, I've had enough, you eat it or I will force feed you." Lenny growled at him.
"I can see you got up on the wrong side of the bed." Ezra scowled at him. "You do know it's lunchtime don't you."
"If you'd quit arguing with Nathan and eat the food that's in front of you, I wouldn't be getting up till it's time for a decent meal and that would be around six tonight." He moved closer to the bed when Nathan stepped out of the way.
"You call this a decent meal, I'd rather wait and have the same one that you're having." Ezra grimaced and pushed the trolley away.
"You're going to eat this one Ezra." Lenny watched as Ezra crossed his arms in front of himself. "Ezra, I'm not in the mood for this . . ."
"Neither am I so why don't you give up and save us both the trouble." Ezra tried to lower himself back down into the bed but instead found his chin in Lenny's strong grip.
Lenny grabbed Ezra's jaw and turned his face towards him. "I don't want any of your self-pity Ezra, eat it!" He released his grip. "Now!" He turned away from him knowing that the stubborn man would now do as he was told.
"I'm going to have a talk with Nathan and when I come back I want to see you eating." He continued to walk away from the figure that lay in the bed, his own anger simmering. "Nathan!"
Lenny walked out into the hallway and ignored the three men who were sitting in the waiting area, he turned around when Nathan joined him. "It's like dealing with a four year old."
Nathan was still smiling at the exchange he just witnessed, Lenny certainly had a way with Ezra.
"Why is he in that mood, he would only be like that if he was angry or hurt?" Lenny stood with his hands on his hips as he faced Nathan.
"He's willing to allow the others to sit with him but he said that it can only be when he's sleeping and they have to leave the room when he wakes up." Nathan knew he was avoiding the question, he could see that Lenny was near boiling point, he was even more threatening than Chris.
"Don't make me repeat my question Nathan."
"What's going on?" Chris and the others stepped closer to the arguing pair.
"I had a talk to him about what happened." Nathan admitted. "We only talked about what happened between the two of us."
"And?" Lenny forced him to continue.
"He thinks we hate him, he's upset about the whole thing." Nathan informed him.
"Do you blame him?" Lenny ran his hand through his short hair. "Don't talk to him again unless I'm there, and I mean awake."
"Sure."
"He said the others can sit with him." Lenny raised his eyebrows.
"It worked just like you said it would, but he won't allow them to stay in the room if he's awake." Nathan smiled, he was quite pleased with himself.
"It's a start." Lenny nodded, he turned towards Chris. "Did you speak to the Doctor?"
"He can leave in three days, no sooner, I gave him my word." Chris informed him. "And what worked?"
"It's amazing what Ezra is willing to do if you make him feel guilty enough." Lenny smiled. "I'll go and sit with him until he falls asleep then one of you can takeover, I can do with a decent meal and I don't mean hospital food.
Chris waited until Lenny closed the door behind him then turned on Nathan.
"How upset was he?"
"Very, he's not willing to fight to get the friendship back, it's going to be a lot harder than we first thought." Nathan looked towards the elevator at the sound of Buck and JD arguing as they stepped off it. "He saw the hate in everyone's eyes Chris and it's going to take a lot of work to get that image out of his mind."
"What's going on?" Buck asked when he joined the group.
"Nathan will explain it to you Buck." Chris moved away from them. He had some thinking to do. In three days time they would have to begin to convince Ezra that they didn't hate him. He wasn't sure what the other guys were going to say to him but he knew what he wanted to say, he just had to sort it out in his own mind first.
________________________________________
Lenny stepped back into the room to find Ezra eating the food on the plate, he saw the look of disgust that crossed his young face. He held the smile that wanted to form on his own face at the sight in check, Ezra was already angry, he didn't want to make his mood any worse.
"I see you managed to eat some of it." Lenny sat down in the chair and watched him.
"I just wish I knew what it was." He used his fork to lift some of the food up but it leaked from the fork. "I don't know if it's soup or something else."
"You can get a decent meal soon, Doctor Falex said you can go home in three days." Lenny told him.
"I certainly hope you’re talking about takeaway because your cooking isn't any better." Ezra retorted, his mood hadn't improved, even at the mention of being released from the hospital. Ezra knew Lenny would allow him to take out his frustrations on him, he always understood how he felt.
"Now that depends on how well you behave between now and then." Lenny warned him.
"With that threat, I'll be on my best behaviour." Ezra smiled at him.
"Nathan told me he spoke to you about what happened." He watched as Ezra pushed the trolley away a second time. "You okay?"
"No." Ezra took a deep breath to control his emotions. "Nathan wasn't angry because he always thought I was capable of doing what I did, he expected it."
"He didn't tell me that part." Lenny's anger grew again.
"At least he was honest about it."
"Doesn't make what he did any easier on you Ezra."
"I know." Ezra tried to ease himself back down but had to rely on Lenny's help.
"You get some sleep Ezra." He wiped his forehead and felt him nod underneath his hand, he only had to wait a few minutes before Ezra's breathing took on the normal rhythm of sleep. "You have a lot of work ahead of you, you’re going to need your strength and I'm going to need mine, especially when you wake up in Chris's cabin in a few days."
________________________________________
Ezra sat on the edge of the bed, hoping the look of disdain on his face was enough to destroy the article of clothing that lay on the bed next to him, he looked up at Lenny, his expression never changing. He saw the inflexibility that was written all over his friend's face and knowing that he wouldn't be able to get through to him he looked back at the clothes. It was bad enough that Lenny woke him as soon as the sun came up, then forced more hospital food down his throat, he now expected him to put on the piece of clothing that he supplied. The jeans were blue Levis and similar to the pair he used to own - they had been used for undercover operations - that was okay but the shirt was something completely different.
"Buck bought the shirt didn't he?" Ezra looked back at Lenny. "Is this supposed to be some sort of punishment, did I do something wrong." Lenny smiled at him. "I'm not wearing it."
"I'm not letting you go home without a shirt on." Lenny's smile didn't falter.
"But . . . " Ezra grimaced at the shirt, he moved his hands, palms facing upwards, towards it and lifted his shoulders. "You can't . . . I won't . . . it's . . ." he sighed in frustration. "Alright." he finally surrended but continued to complain. "At least I won't be seen in public with it on." He lifted the white short-sleeved shirt that was covered with small bright orange flowers and grimaced at it, he would never understand that man's taste in clothing. "Collins would see me coming in this thing." he muttered to himself and was grateful that Lenny hadn't heard him. He managed to pull one sleeve on but grimaced when he had to lift his left arm up to shoulder level.
"Let me do that Ezra." Lenny pulled the shirt across Ezra's back so he could keep his elbow bent and slip his arm into the sleeve. He began to do the buttons up but Ezra pushed his hand away.
"That I can do." Ezra told him.
Lenny watched as Ezra did the buttons of shirt up, he had noticed how pale his skin was in comparison to the white shirt, the fresh scar on his forehead was a dark purple, the bruising only leaving the surface of his flesh two days ago, even the scar on his chest stood out darkly against the taught colourless skin. Both scars were reminders of how close Ezra had been to death. He remembered the first sight of his rib cage, the bones nearly protruding from his skin, he had lost a lot of weight since he started the operation nearly three months ago but Lenny didn't realise how much until his saw the bones that use to be covered with toned muscle. He was grateful in one way, without his normal strength, Ezra may not confront Larabee physically.
Once the buttons were done up and the shirt given another foul look, Ezra carefully slipped himself off the bed, the Doctor had allowed him to start walking around two days ago but he was still unsteady on his feet. Lenny pulled himself away from his worried thoughts and quickly grabbed Ezra when he began to sway.
"You okay?" Lenny didn't hide the concern from his voice.
"Yeah, but I'm going to need help with the jeans." Ezra admitted, he allowed Lenny pulled the jeans on for him while he held onto his shoulders.
"You're going to need a belt, they didn't account for your loss of weight." Lenny pulled his own belt from the waistband of his trousers and began to thread it through the jeans.
"Why doesn't it surprise me, you didn't expect them to actually take me into consideration when they bought these things did you." He saw Lenny's look. "I mean would you buy me a shirt like this, I think not."
"Get back on the bed so I can put your boots on and no you can't do it, if you bend over you'll fall down." Lenny smiled at him, he knew Ezra was in a good mood, and that it was because he thought he was going home but the mood would quickly change once he found out that he had been deceived.
They looked towards the door when it opened to see Doctor Falex enter the room, he carried a small plastic container. Lenny knew what was in it, he could also see that the Doctor appeared nervous, he just hoped that Ezra wouldn't notice. Lenny pulled his own trousers back up over his slim hips before they fell down and stepped away from the bed; as soon as Ezra was asleep, he was going to demand Wilmington's belt. He was the one that bought the jeans that were too big so he can be the one to walk around all day keeping his pants up with his hands.
"Ezra, how are you feeling?" Falex handed him the small cup that contained two sleeping pills.
"I'm fine." He dismissed the question. "What are these?"
Falex poured some water into a cup and placed it in Ezra's other hand. "Pain killers, they'll make the drive home easier for you."
"You know how I drive Ezra." Lenny reminded him.
"You have a point there, it's as bad as your cooking." Ezra put the pills in his mouth then drank some of the cool water to help him swallow them.
"Why don't you lie back down Ezra, it'll be another twenty minutes at least until a nurse shows up with a wheelchair and no, you’re not walking out." Falex knew what he was going to say, he said it every time he was discharged from the hospital. "Besides I want to use the opportunity to give you the once over before you leave."
Ezra didn't find anything wrong with that so he did as he was told, he gingerly laid himself down on the bed so the Doctor could examine him, it wasn't until his eyelids began to try to force themselves closed that he knew something was wrong.
"What did you give me?" Ezra fought against the drowsiness he felt.
"Don't fight it Ezra." Falex ordered him, his lifted his wrist and felt his pulse.
"Fight it?" He tried to sit up but Lenny moved forward and pushed him back down. "Lenny what the hell did . . . he give . . . me?"
"Just relax Ezra." Lenny sat on the bed and picked up Ezra's hand, he bent over him and began to wipe his forehead.
"Your . . not taking . . . me . . . home are . . . you?"
"It's for your own protection Ezra." He watched as Ezra lost his struggle against the sleep that was trying to take control of his body, his eyes finally closing.
Falex lifted one of Ezra's eyelids and checked his pupil. "He's asleep, I'll go and get Chris."
Lenny nodded but didn't look at him, he kept his eyes on Ezra's face. "I'm sorry Ezra but I have to do what's best for you, you'll thank me later." He heard the door open again and listened as Chris wheeled the chair into the room.
Lenny got off the bed and sat Ezra up, he positioned his head onto his shoulder and watched as Chris carefully put the bulletproof vest on Ezra. "You ready."
After Chris acknowledged that he was he, leaned Ezra back onto Chris who took his arms, Lenny took his legs and together they carefully lifted him off the bed and sat him in the wheelchair. Lenny stepped away and pulled his trousers back up.
"You haven't got a belt you don't need do you?" Lenny asked Chris.
"Sorry, I usually buy clothes that fit." Chris smiled at him.
"I had to give mine to Ezra, Wilmington forgot that Ezra had lost weight when he bought his clothes." Lenny smiled back at him but the sarcasm wasn't lost on Chris.
"Doc?" Chris looked at him.
Falex pulled his belt off and handed it to Lenny. "It's more for show anyway." he shrugged.
"Thanks." Lenny threaded the belt through his trousers. "He'll sleep for at least eight hours?"
"Yes he will, and in his condition he may even sleep longer, if he does don't worry about him." Falex followed them out of the room. "Lenny, I can't stress the importance of Ezra eating, I want him to have at least five small meals a day, he needs to put the weight back on and get his appetite back. He'll get sick if he doesn't eat."
"Don't worry he'll eat." Lenny pushed the chair towards the elevator. "And thanks for everything."
"You're welcome." He shook Lenny's hand then Chris's. "Just make sure you look after him and when you know he's safe bring him back for a checkups."
"I will." Lenny shook his hand again and watched the Doctor walk away.
"It's all clear." Chris informed Lenny after he hung up his cell phone, he pushed the down button on the elevator.
"Josiah's downstairs and Nathan's waiting in the car.
"He's going to kill me when he finds out what I'm doing." Lenny commented more to himself than to Chris.
"He'll understand." Chris kneeled down next to the chair and lifted Ezra's fallen hand back onto his lap.
"And if he doesn't." Lenny asked him.
"Then we tell him it was a direct order from Judge Travis." Chris tried to reassure him but for the first time since he met Lenny he could see fear in his eyes, it was a different type of fear to the one they had seen when they thought Ezra was going to die.
The elevator doors opened and Lenny pushed the chair into it with Chris following him. He pushed the button that would take them to the first floor. "He'll understand Lenny." Chris said with more confidence.
They stepped off the elevator and headed to the exit that led to the outside world, this time with Josiah following them. They stopped at the doors while Chris used his phone to let Nathan know they were waiting, a few seconds later Nathan's car reversed into the ambulance only area. Josiah walked through the opening doors first, he efficiently used his eyes to check the area then nodded to Lenny who pushed the wheelchair through the large opening with Chris behind him. Josiah already had the back door of the car open and Lenny got into the back seat, he took Ezra's head and laid it onto his lap when Chris and Josiah lifted Ezra into the car, he nodded to Josiah who bent Ezra's legs then shut the door. He got into the front seat and told Nathan to go. Lenny looked over his shoulder through the back window and saw Chris running to his own car, he looked down at Ezra who was oblivious to what was happening around him and wiped the loose hair that had fallen onto his forehead. He was doing the right thing, he was sure of it.
________________________________________
Lenny looked up for the first time during the five hour drive when Nathan slowed down and turned onto the dirt road that led to Chris's cabin. He leaned back as far as he could and looked out of the rear window to see the largest trees as they appeared when they drove past them, he lifted a hand to shade his eyes against the bright sunlight that filtered through the thick branches. His felt his body shift on the seat when the car hit a pothole, he quickly grabbed Ezra's shoulders making sure he didn't fall off the back seat of the car.
"Sorry, you might want to hold onto Ezra, the road is pretty rough." Nathan looked at Lenny in the rear-view mirror.
"Maybe you should try driving a bit slower." Lenny suggested. He looked back down at Ezra to make sure the rough movement didn't wake him. His head now lay in a different position but he wasn't sure if he moved on his own or if the change of position was caused by Nathan's driving, he decided it was the latter, Falex had told him Ezra would sleep for eight hours or more.
"How's Ezra doing?" Josiah twisted himself in his seat so he could look into the back, he could see that Lenny was worried.
"He's fine." Lenny didn't look up from Ezra's face.
It was another thirty minutes before the cabin was in view, Lenny looked over Nathan's shoulder to see the large wooden building, only the front was visible, the rest of the building was surrounded by trees. A large porch spaned the width of the front part of the cabin then disappeared around the corners of the building, a large bay window sat on either side of the front door, shutters that were placed inside of the house allowed the occupant the privacy that he cherished. As they got closer, he could see the lake through the trees, a long jetty reached out into the water, a boathouse sat beside it, the large ripples in the water causing it to sway slightly.
"Wow." Lenny didn't realise he'd spoken aloud.
"That's what we thought when we first saw it." Josiah turned his head to look at Lenny. "Wait until you get inside."
Nathan pulled the car to a stop in front of the steps that led up to the porch and the front door of the cabin. Lenny waited for Nathan to open the back door, he carefully lifted Ezra's head while he managed to squirm his way out of the car, then laid his head back down again, allowing the peaceful expression to fall towards the back seat, he made sure he was comfortable and closed the door. There was no use in getting him out until Chris and the others arrived. Lenny put his hands on his lower back and stretched the stiffness out then took a deep breath of fresh mountain air.
"How long until they get here?" Lenny asked Josiah, he didn't look at him, his eyes were too busy taking in his surroundings, he enjoyed the scenery and he wanted to be familiar with the terrain in case something happened.
"Ten minutes." Josiah answered him.
Lenny looked down at his watch, he squinted his eyes towards the part of the trees where Chris's car will appear, he turned to look into the window of the car to make sure Ezra was alright and when he was satisfied that he was still sleeping he turned back to the trees. After what seemed like an eternity, the dodge finally showed itself to the waiting trespassers. Chris drove past Nathan's car and reversed his own so it to was facing away from the building, it would be easier if they had to leave quickly.
"How's Ezra?" Chris asked when he got out of the driver's side of his car.
"Sleeping." Lenny replied.
"Josiah help Lenny with Ezra, the rest of you get the stuff out of the car." Chris ordered them as he made his way up the steps to the front door.
Lenny thought that Chris gave orders like it was a gift that came naturally to him, it was something that he himself respected in a person. He was confident that Ezra was in good hands, physically anyway, he still required some lessons when it came to a person's emotions, especially Ezra's but he'd make sure that the lessons would be taught during the next two weeks. He turned back to the car and opened the door, he lifted Ezra's shoulders and carefully dragged him out of the car, and he hesitated so Josiah could grab Ezra's legs.
"I'll carry him." Lenny told Josiah, he allowed him to help him adjust his hold so he could carry the sleeping burden in his arms as though he were a child.
"You got him?" Josiah held out his arms just in case.
"Yeah, he really has lost a lot of weight." Lenny gazed down into Ezra's face then nodded towards the house. "Lead the way."
Lenny easily carried Ezra into the house, he meant to follow Josiah but he stopped just inside the door, he allowed Chris to gently push him to the side so he could close the door. His light blue eyes travelled the large open sitting area, a huge fireplace had been built into the south wall, and he could see into the kitchen from where he was standing, he could also hear Buck and JD arguing about the ruined frozen pizza. He knew instantly that the cabin had been decorated in a western style, the couches, rugs and wood panelling that lined the walls only to be separated by brick was a dead giveaway, to the left of the large open space were doors that must have led to the main bedrooms.
"Are you going to stand there all day." Chris asked him.
"I know you already don't like me Larabee so I have no problem asking you this," he turned to Chris, a smile on his countenance so he would know he didn't mean what he was about to say, "are you on the take?"
"It's not as expensive as it looks." Chris didn't take any offense. "You can put Ezra in my room, second door." Chris pointed towards the door that Josiah held opened.
Lenny walked into a large room that was decorated in a similar style to the living area, he laid Ezra down on the large bed that was flushed against the wall facing the door. He sat Ezra up so Josiah could take the bulletproof vest off, he laid him down, easing his head onto the pillow. Lenny removed Ezra's boots and pulled the handmade quilt up to his chin, he wiped his cheek in a gesture of affection then walked away leaving him to continue sleeping.
"It'll be another few hours yet so how about some coffee then you can show me around so I can get the feel of the place." Lenny requested of Larabee.
"Sure, Josiah why don't you sit with Ezra, I'll get one of the others to bring you some coffee."
"Only if Buck and JD don't make it." Josiah settled himself into the large rocking chair and watched the sleeping form in the bed.
________________________________________
Ezra could hear a familiar sound, he waited a for few moments for his memory to register what it was. Once the source was connected to the sound he remembered what happened, they tricked him, he had been given something to make him sleep and was then brought to Chris Larabee's cabin. He knew where he was because of the rocking chair, he had spent his first night of the fishing trip in this room. He hadn't been able to cope with the comradeship among the six men, and feeling left out he had drunken too much alcohol to try to drown out the lonely feelings that had taken control of him. He had seen the way they had interacted with each other and knew he would never really be a part of it. He also knew it was because he wouldn't allow himself to become a member of the family for fear of being hurt, not being accepted as one of them, that had happened once too often in his life and it was now happening again.
He had woken the next morning to the same sound, but it had been made worse by the hangover he had been suffering from. Nathan had been sitting in the chair, being an ex-medic he always took it upon himself to be the healer of the group and take care of them when one of them became sick, which surprised him because he didn't consider himself to be one of them. He wondered who it would be this time, he decided to use his voice to find out.
"Lenny?" His voice came out as a hoarse whisper, he was about to try again when a familiar voice answered him.
"I'm here Ezra." Lenny had returned to the room to find Ezra lying on his stomach, he had rolled over which meant the sleeping pills were wearing off, he sent Josiah out of the room, he wanted to be alone with Ezra when he woke up. He didn't want any outside influences to make him even more angry. He moved to the bed and sat down next to Ezra's waking form.
"Why am I here?" Ezra didn't try to roll over, he was still tired and knew he was going to go back to sleep as soon as his question was answered.
"We want to help you Ezra, and we thought this would be the best place, you also need protection, and Collins is still out there." Lenny answered him, he watched his face carefully, the light coming through the window showed his features clearly and he looked for the anger that he had been expecting but there wasn't any.
"We?"
"They need to talk to you Ezra, they need to explain their reactions." He thought he may as well bring it all out into the open, he had to know what was going to happen.
"And you brought me here so I couldn't walk out the front door." Ezra could already feel the darkness coming back for him. "Lenny, if they hurt me, you'll pay for it."
"They won't Ezra."
"You better be right Lenny, I won't take that again, not from them and not from you." He didn't fight it anymore, he wanted to go back into oblivion.
Lenny waited a few minutes then left the room, he closed the door quietly behind him and made his way to one of the three couches that faced the fireplace, he sat down, his expression showing the worry he felt.
"We've got a problem." He informed the group of men who were watching him from the moment he walked out of the main bedroom. "He's calm, too calm."
"And that's a problem?" If it wasn't for the expression on Lenny's face Chris would have laughed.
"It's a problem." He pushed himself out of his chair and walked into the kitchen.
"Nathan." Chris nodded to the bedroom door then followed Lenny into the kitchen that was small compared to the living area. "Why is it a problem?"
Lenny leaned back against the counter and crossed his left foot over the other and then his arms across his chest.
"When Ezra is in this mood he can be dangerous, very dangerous." He looked up into Chris's blue eyes and saw his doubt. "If you push him the wrong way he'll either beat the crap out of you and yes that includes Sanchez, or, if he can't be bothered he'll just shoot you."
"You can't be serious." Now Chris knew he was joking.
"I'm very serious, I've seen it once before, hoped I would never see this side again but deceiving him like we did has brought it out, I hope that things will be different when he wakes up again but somehow I very much doubt it."
"Will he let us talk to him?" Chris hoped the trip to repair the friendship wasn't going to be futile.
"Yeah, he'll talk to you, but he'll manipulate it so he can enjoy your discomfort and get as much out of it as he can before he tells you to go to hell. So in his own way he's actually giving you a chance to get your case across and if you do a good enough job you may be able to get him back." Lenny frowned at the thought. "Actually I'll probably enjoy it as well."
"Just when I begin to think that you might be alright Hoskins, you go and ruin it for me." Chris smiled at him.
"We did get off on the wrong foot but because of what you did to Ezra, that footing will never be in sync." Lenny smiled back at him.
"So we're at a mutual agreement then." Chris raised his eyebrows. "We don't like each other?"
"Agreed." Lenny walked to the fridge and opened it to look at the contents. "How about I cook us all something to eat, I need to get my mind off Ezra for a while."
"Sorry but I've heard rumors about your cooking." Chris walked away from the Agent. "Josiah and Nathan can cook dinner."
________________________________________
Ezra lay in the large bed not wanting to open his eyes to find out who was sitting in the chair watching his every movement, he could feel someone's eyes on him but he didn't acknowledge their presence in the room by informing them that he had woken up earlier than was normal for him. He rolled away from the rocking chair and opened his eyes, he closed them against the early morning sun's bright reflections that shone off the pictures that lined the dresser that was against the wall. He opened them again and looked for the picture he knew would also be there, it was at the end of the procession of photo frames, and he looked at the faces of the six ATF Agents, his own not being one of them. The photo was just like the two in Larabee's office, one of them had been taken on the weekend that he was here but for some reason Chris chose not to put the picture that had included him in the frame. Ezra had to look at it every time he entered that office, it was a stark reminder that he wasn't welcome to join the family that had formed within the small group of men.
He pushed the quilt aside and sat up but he had moved to quickly, he held his head in his hands while he waited for the dizzy spell to end, they always did. His mind heard Josiah's voice asking what he was doing but he ignored him, he slowly stood up and made his way to the dresser. He looked more closely at the picture, Buck had JD in a bear hug while Josiah had his hand on Nathan's shoulder, and Vin leaned back against Chris, both men sporting a smile that was unusual even for them.
Ezra pulled his eyes from the picture and pulled the sickening shirt off his back. He didn't care about the pain that registered in his chest, the wounds had healed closed but the broken rib that was still mending gave him a certain amount of pain. He searched the drawers in the dresser for a plain one to wear, he pushed the black material aside and finally found a simple light blue cotton shirt, he slipped his arms into the long sleeves and only did enough buttons up to stop it falling open and revealing his thin frame.
"Ezra?" Josiah couldn't get a response from the younger man, he obviously didn't want to talk to him. He watched him slowly move towards the door, each step seemed to be an effort for him. He quickly got up out of the chair and followed in case his legs protested against the excessive use and collapse on him causing him to fall to the ground but Ezra made it to the door and beyond.
Ezra shuffled into the living area of the cabin, the socks that he still wore slid against the polished wooden floor, relieving him of any real effort on his part to put one foot in front of the other. He didn't see the dark clad figure that sat on one of the couches facing the fire place, he was concentrating on making it to the kitchen so he could get a much needed drink of water or coffee if there was any made, he was sure there would be.
Chris looked over his shoulder when he heard the soft movement behind him, he saw Ezra's form come into his line of vision, he recognised his shirt and smiled, the man would never wear a shirt Buck picked out unless his life depended on it and yesterday it had, Lenny wasn't one to take no for an answer. He could see the concentration on Ezra's face and decided not to disturb him.
The injured man continued to move forward but he reached an obstacle, his feet stopped when they met the edge of the thick rug. He looked down to his left then right to see if there was enough room on either side of the large cream coloured rug, he still hadn't seen Chris who was watching him from the couch. He sighed, he couldn't go around it, there wasn't enough room, he turned slightly to look at the bedroom door and contemplated going back but the sight of Josiah leaving the room was enough of an incentive for him to pick up his right foot and move forward. Ezra carefully walked across the rug, waiting for the last struggling step that would take him to the other side of the hurdle so he could make use of the wooden floor once again.
Ezra gratefully made it to the kitchen without any mishaps, the last thing he wanted was to be picked up off the floor and carried back to the bedroom. He smelt the coffee and scowled at the brewing pot, the smell told him that Buck had made it, he walked to the sink and got a glass of water instead. He tried to reach into one of the cupboards above the sink but the restrictive movement caused by his rib made him fail in his attempt.
"Can I get it for you Ezra?" Josiah asked him, he had entered the kitchen in time to see the look of pain on Ezra's face when he tried to raise his arm above his head.
Ezra nodded and stepped back. "The Tylenol please."
"Your head?" Josiah got the Tylenol from the cupboard and handed them to Ezra.
"No, I have six pains in the butt, of course I have a headache!" He took four pills out of the packet and swallowed them with the help of the water.
"Would you like me to make some fresh coffee?" Josiah refused to play Ezra's game.
"Thanks." Ezra shuffled away and headed back into the main room.
Ezra continued to move in the same way, he found it easier if he didn't have to actually lift his foot off the floor, especially after the tiring effort he just made when he walked across the rug. He sat down heavily on the couch closest to the kitchen and winced at the sight of Chris Larabee sitting on one of the others. He locked eyes with him for a few seconds but his headache was too bad to continue, he turned away from him and leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes, hiding any view of Larabee's form from his mind. He could feel the cold blue eyes still on him.
"Have you got something to say Mr Larabee, perhaps you would like to know why I am up at this ungodly hour." Ezra asked him.
Chris had looked back up at the shuffling sound, he watched as Ezra practically fell down onto the couch. "No but I would like to ask you how your feeling Ezra?" He couldn't hide the concern he felt towards the undercover agent.
"Considering the current conditions I am being held under against my will, I am doing just dandy thankyou Mr Larabee." The anger and sarcasm fell in heavy droplets from the tone of Ezra's voice.
Chris didn't fail to notice the anger that was in Ezra's words, he decided to do what Lenny had asked of them and that was not to talk to Ezra about what had happened without the FBI Agent's presence in the room. He also remember what the seemingly calm man had told him about the side of Ezra that was dangerous and wondered if the anger was part of that side.
"How's your headache?" Chris watched for any changes in his facial expression but knew that any emotions he was feeling would be hidden behind his calm facade, Ezra's poker face was the best in the business, that's why he was second to no one in his chosen profession.
"It's fine." Was the clipped reply.
"He just took four Tylenol." Josiah informed him when he entered the room carrying a tray with three large mugs.
"Here's your coffee Ezra." He looked down into the angry green eyes which was the only response to his statement.
Ezra took the mug by the handle then sat back against the couch, he grimaced when Josiah sat down next to him.
'Just great!' he thought to himself. He closed his eyes again and waited for the painkillers to take effect and for the coffee to cool down enough so he could drink it, once he had done that he was going back to bed.
Chris watched Ezra while he drank his coffee, the permanent scowl on his face telling him that Ezra knew he was being scrutinised but refused to say anything about it. He could see Ezra's sunken stomach through the opening of his shirt, he hadn't done all the buttons up and when he sat down on the couch the lower half of the shirt had fallen open. Chris stared at the pale skin, he saw the gap between the waistband of the jeans and Ezra's flesh. He hadn't realised how much weight the undercover agent had actually lost.
"Ezra?" Chris didn't expect an answer.
"What?" Ezra didn't look at him.
"If Josiah made you some breakfast would you eat it?" He waited patiently. "Doctor Falex wants you to eat at least five times a day."
"Doctor Falex isn't here." Ezra retorted.
"No but Lenny is." Chris smiled at the hurt expression, and realised he had an ace in the hole, if the mention of Lenny's name could get Ezra to do something then he'd use it.
"Only if it's something light."
"What about some scrambled eggs and toast?" Josiah stood up and looked down at Ezra, he saw the slight nod that indicated he accepted the decision.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight
Master Fan Fiction List
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language, violence and drug use.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest.
Summary: Team Seven believe that Ezra Standish has betrayed them.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Notes: Lenny Hoskins is my creation. I don't have any medical knowledge- forgive any mistakes.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 96,713
Lenny listened to Chris's explanation of what happened, then waited patiently for Buck to finish his exaggeration of what JD had done, he felt like telling him he had heard everything that happened from his vantage point in the room but decided not to spoil his fun.
"Collins drew you out so Glading could get up here?" Lenny asked.
"Yeah, that's what I thought." Chris knew what the FBI Agent was thinking, that the team had failed, that they were incompetent.
"But he would have to know that all of you wouldn't go after him, that some would stay behind to protect Ezra." Lenny thought aloud. "Even Glading would have known he'd either get caught or killed in his attempt to kill Ezra."
"Maybe Glading could give us an answer to those questions because I have no idea why they tried something so stupid." Chris answered Lenny's spoken thoughts.
"Somehow I don't think you’re going to get much out of him." Lenny confirmed what Chris was thinking.
"I have to agree with you on that point." Chris smiled at him, this man continued to surprise him, he thought he would take the opportunity to degrade them once again but he didn't.
"I for one would like to know who told them what floor Ezra was on." Buck stated, he knew there was more than one answer to that question. Collins could have gotten that information easily.
"I don't think Collins is going to try something like that again, he'll wait until Ezra leaves the hospital." Lenny moved towards the waiting area's chairs and sat down heavily into one of them. "I think it was more of a test to see how many of you would go after him and how many would stay with Ezra."
"He's up to something." Chris followed Lenny and sat in the chair across from him.
"I'm surprised the guy stayed around." Lenny looked up at Chris. "He's set his mind to killing Ezra hasn't he?"
"He won't succeed, we'll make sure of that." Chris assured him.
"We'll need to take him somewhere safe when the Doctor discharges him. Got any suggestions?" Lenny asked him.
"I'd like to take him somewhere quite, somewhere that's going to be hard for him to get away from, somewhere that will also give us a chance to talk to him." Chris smiled. "We'll take him to my place."
"The one in the mountains, won't that leave us a bit isolated." Lenny wasn't sure that it was a good idea. "I don't like it. Collins isn't going to go up against seven of us, he'll just wait until we bring Ezra back into the city."
"It may draw him out, we can't keep Ezra in hiding for too long, not in the city anyway, he'll go nuts, he'll manage to get away from us, he always does, and where will that leave him. Out in the open where Collins will be waiting for him." Chris explained. "You said you know Ezra better than us. How long will you be able to keep him in a room before he tries to get away." Chris raised his eyebrows at Lenny's expression, he had made his point.
"We'd be lucky to keep him locked up for more than a couple of days." Lenny agreed with Chris's argument.
"He's less likely to try and get away from us if he's surrounded by mountains, even Ezra's not that stupid." Chris continued with his argument, he knew Lenny was beginning to agree with him.
"But he's stubborn and sometimes that stubbornness can make him do stupid things." Lenny warned Chris.
"Collins is going to get desperate if we make him wait, he'll either try something stupid and if he does we'll be waiting for him or he'll give up and try and leave the state, in which case he'll be caught." Chris told him.
"We both know he won't leave." Lenny sighed and looked towards Ezra's door. He knew Chris was right, if they kept Ezra locked up in a small room or house in the city he'd go crazy and then do something stupid. He would think that he was the prisoner and try to escape but he was also worried that Collins would wait, he'd already waited nearly three weeks before trying to kill Ezra and he was sure that he could wait even longer but Chris had a point. If Collins thought, they were going to stay in the mountains he might be pushed into making another attempt and they would be waiting for him. "Two weeks, and if Collins hasn't tried anything we come back."
"Agreed." Chris accepted the two weeks, the Judge had already transferred their cases to other ATF teams, and he had known Ezra was going to need protection until Collins and Glading were caught, they now had one of them in custody, and it would only be a matter of time before the other one was caught or killed.
"Do you think Doctor Falex would give Nathan another one of those pills that he slipped me." He smiled at Chris.
"Because I'm not going to be able to talk Ezra into going anywhere with you guys."
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Ezra grimaced as the dawn's new light broke through into the comforting darkness that caressed his mind, the light wasn't going to let him sleep, he hated this time of the day. He squeezed his eyes tighter against the evasion but it only caused bolts of pain to flow through his skull so he tried to roll away from it instead, this caused another pain to erupt in his chest. He reluctantly turned back over, he felt someone squeeze his hand but he didn't respond to the touch, he just wanted to go back to the darkness, he felt safe there, he didn't have to talk to anyone and he knew they were going to start talking to him. Lenny had promised him that he wouldn't let them back in but he knew Lenny, he would find another way.
He turned his head away from the light that was becoming even brighter, he felt the pressure against his hand again. He was grateful that Lenny didn't start talking to him to get him to open his eyes, but he knew it was only a matter of time so why delay the inevitable. He opened his eyes but the weight of sleep quickly closed them again, he waited then tried again, this time succeeding. Ezra's eyes finally focused on the form that was sitting with him, he was shocked to see Nathan at his bedside. The idea of sleep suddenly left him.
"Where's Lenny?" He tried to sit up so he could search the room.
"It's okay Ezra." Nathan gently pushed him back down, which wasn't hard considering the smaller man was still weak. "He's in the other bed."
"The other bed?" His struggles continued as he panicked. "What happened to him Nathan?"
"He's sleeping Ezra, he's just catching up on some much needed sleep." He felt Ezra relax and removed his hands from his chest.
"Sleeping?" Ezra tried to lift his head so he could confirm Nathan's words with physical evidence but he didn't have the strength so he allowed it to fall back onto the pillow.
"Yeah, he hasn't been doing much of that lately, he won't leave you alone and you wouldn't let anyone else sit with you except me." Nathan explained to him.
"Don't start on me Nathan." Ezra warned him.
"I'm not starting anything Ezra." Nathan looked across the room at Lenny's sleeping form. "It's only the second time in three weeks that he has actually slept more than a few hours, the first time I had to slip him something to make him sleep." His gaze turned back to Ezra and he saw the concern flash through his eyes and inwardly smiled, he and Lenny had spoken about this earlier, Nathan was to try to make Ezra feel guilty, and that guilt may allow another member of the team to stay with him. "Can't even remember when he last had a decent meal."
"It won't work Nathan." But Ezra knew it would, Lenny always knew how to get the better of him.
"What won't?" Nathan asked innocently but he knew Ezra could see straight through him, he wasn't as good at conning people as Ezra was.
"The guilt trip." Ezra enlightened him. "I know Lenny just as well as he knows me, he put you up to this didn't he?"
"Yes he did, but he's got a point Ezra, I wasn't lying about his lack of sleep or not eating properly." Nathan smiled at him. "He thought if I told you about it you would feel guilty enough to let one of the others sit with you."
"Aw hell." Ezra moaned.
"I assumed that it worked." Nathan inquired as he watched Ezra's face contort into a grimace.
"Lenny knew it would, just do me a favour and make sure it's when I'm sleeping." He tore his eyes from Lenny's inert form. "I don't want to talk to them or look at them, if I wake up they have to leave the room."
"I'll tell them Ezra." He squeezed his hand again.
Ezra frowned down at his hand, he'd forgotten that Nathan was holding it. "Do you have to keep doing that Nathan." It wasn't a question, if Nathan didn't let go he would pull his hand away.
"Sorry Ezra." Nathan tried to understand but he couldn't, it was only a simple gesture that would show Ezra that he cared but like everything else, he rejected it.
Ezra had refused to accept it for what it was, concern. Nathan knew that he would think there was another reason for it, that he would think that the giver would ask for something in return. He quietly let out the breath he was holding and sat back into the chair.
"They're going to give you solids today." Nathan changed the subject.
"Great, they are going to try and succeed where Collins didn't?" Ezra hated the food in this place.
"If you don't eat it Ezra, they'll just keep you here longer and I know you don't want that." Nathan leaned forward again and rested his forearms on the bed.
Ezra nodded and closed his eyes, he knew he wouldn't go back to sleep, he was becoming less tired as each day passed but he also turned away from Nathan because he could tell by his body language that he wanted to say something else.
"Ezra could you look at me please." Nathan waited patiently.
Ezra knew this was coming, he turned his head and opened his eyes, he could see the conflict that Nathan was going through, he allowed Ezra to see into his soul.
"I want to talk about what happened." Nathan ignored the building anger in Ezra's eyes.
"I don't." Ezra tautly replied.
"We have to talk about it at some point Ezra, it may as well be now." Nathan argued.
"I don't want to talk about it at anytime so drop it." The anger was becoming evident in Ezra's voice, and visible on his countenance but Nathan continued to ignore it.
"Ezra it'll help both of us to talk about it." Nathan tried to convince him but he could tell by the determined expression that Ezra's face held that he wasn't going to agree to his request to talk about what happened.
"NO!" His agitation caused Nathan to become submissive.
"Alright Ezra, if that's what you want." Nathan sat back into the chair once more and looked over at Lenny to see if
Ezra's raised voice disturbed him, it hadn't, like Ezra he seemed to sleep like the dead.
Ezra continued to watch Nathan while his face was turned away, he could see the torment that he was going through and that he did need to talk about. He sighed to himself, when did he begin to care about these people, he still couldn't actually work out the moment that he realised these men could become friends, he had pushed them away not wanting them to get close to him but somehow they managed to slowly break through his emotional defences.
"Lenny's been teaching you how to inflict guilt hasn't he?" Ezra saw the confusion in Nathan's eyes. "Talk about it if you want Nathan, I can see you need to but don't expect me to talk, I'll listen but that's all I'll do." He wasn't going to open himself up so the larger man could see all the hurt they had caused, he would keep that to himself as always.
"You're not going to like what I have to say Ezra." Nathan warned him.
"I don't think anything you say will change the way I feel about the others and what they did to me." Ezra watched him carefully.
"I'm not talking about them." He looked away from Ezra's scrutiny. "What I have to say may change the way you feel about me at the moment."
"If you’re trying to change my mind about listening to you Nathan your doing a pretty good job of it." Ezra forced a smile onto his face, he was now dreading what Nathan was going to say.
Nathan looked down at his hands, he couldn't look Ezra in the eye anymore. "I accepted what I thought you had become because I expected it." He could feel Ezra's frown, he didn't have to look at him to know what he was thinking. "Deep down I always thought you'd run out on us again, turn your back on us, you just did it in a way that I didn't expect." He began to fidget with his hands. "I wasn't angry because I thought you always had it in you, so instead of being angry over something I anticipated, I decided to help you." He finally looked up at Ezra, he could see the hurt in his eyes but it quickly disappeared under his gaze. "What you did, it didn't surprise me."
"When you were told that I was using drugs and selling information . . . you weren't surprised." Ezra was shocked.
"You always thought I was capable of doing something like that."
"I was at first but when I stopped to think about it . . . yeah, I wasn't shocked and I think that's why I didn't stay angry at you, I ended up feeling sorry for you." Nathan waited for the angry outburst but it didn't happen. "I'm sorry Ezra."
"Why you're only being honest." Ezra turned away from him. "You're confirming what I always knew, that none of you trusted me, all of you expected me to run out on the team, you thought it was only a matter of time."
"But the other guys do trust you Ezra, it was only Chris and myself." Nathan waited, hoping to get a response.
"I don't believe that Nathan, if it were true they wouldn't have treated me that way, Buck wouldn't have kicked me the way he did." Ezra turned his eyes back to Nathan. "I saw the hate in their eyes Nathan. That emotion was real and there's nothing they could say that would change what I saw." He could feel his eyes filling with moisture, he lifted his arm and weakly wiped away the tears before they could fall. "I put everything on the line to catch this guy Nathan and I lost, I lost the friendship that I thought was beginning to develop, I'll probably lose my job because the FBI won't take me back. I'm going to lose everything."
"Chris and the others are willing to fight to get that friendship back Ezra, so am I." Nathan could feel his heart tighten. "And if you’re willing to fight also . . ." He left the sentence unfinished.
"I'm too tired to fight Nathan, I don't know if I want that sort of friendship." He rolled his head away from him and closed his eyes. "It's not worth the effort, Mother was right, people only pretend to be your friend and when the test comes they always fail."
"We won't fail again Ezra." Nathan knew Ezra wasn't willing to listen anymore, he was grateful that Ezra hadn't gotten angry and demanded that he leave the room, it was a start in repairing the damage to the friendship that he had caused.
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Chris paced the waiting room, he was told that Doctor Falex would be up to see him thirty minutes ago and he was still waiting, he knew Vin and Josiah were watching him from the chairs they occupied. They hadn't managed to get any information out of Glading and returned to the hospital to make sure JD and Ezra were okay. Buck and JD were talking to Julie to make sure that she was alright, she had brushed it off like they usually did but Buck knew that something wasn't right so he thought they would spend some time with her, get her to talk about what happened.
The dark clad leader turned to head back towards the elevator when Falex finally stepped from it into the waiting area. Chris walked straight towards him, he didn't want to give him any time to compose himself, and he knew he would argue if he had the chance.
"We need to know how soon Ezra can be discharged." Chris was a threatening figure but Falex didn't flinch under his gaze.
"At least another week, we're going to start him on solid food today to see how he goes and . . . " Falex began but Chris became impatient as always.
"That's too long, we need to get him somewhere safe, we don't want the person who is trying to kill him to make another attempt while he's here. Someone else might get hurt next time." Chris didn't hold back on what he was thinking, the Doctor needed to know that Ezra's life wasn't the only one under threat.
"Ezra suffered a traumatic head wound, you can't just start dragging him around every time you think someone is going to try and kill him." Falex became defensive.
"He won't be dragged around, you'll give him something that will make him sleep for at least eight hours so we can take him somewhere quiet until this guy is caught." Chris smiled at him.
"I'm going to what?" Falex actually laughed at the suggestion.
"You heard me Doctor. Now how soon can he leave?" Chris repeated the question.
"You're going to take him anyway aren't you?" Falex frowned at him and saw the confirmation of what he said in Chris's blue eyes. "You'll make sure he gets plenty of rest, he has to eat, he's lost a lot of weight that he needs to gain back, and he's not to do anything strenuous." The Doctor gave up, he knew that if he didn't agree with him that they would sneak Standish out as soon as his back was turned. At least this way he could give them instructions and have them take some medication with them.
"Even if we have to tie him down." Chris agreed.
"I have a chest x-ray and CAT Scan arranged for this afternoon, if there clear and he takes to solids . . . three days and no sooner." Falex gave Chris one of his own looks but the man didn't even wince. 'Going to have to work on that.' He thought to himself. "I want your word you won't help him escape before then."
"You have it." Chris smiled at him.
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Lenny threw the blanket off in frustration, how was anyone supposed to get any sleep with all that racket. He tried to keep out of it as long as he could but Ezra's stubbornness got the better of him, he had a way of making a Saint want to hit him. He had listened to his protests long enough. He jumped out of the bed and stormed towards the one that Ezra was sitting up in.
"That's it Ezra, I've had enough, you eat it or I will force feed you." Lenny growled at him.
"I can see you got up on the wrong side of the bed." Ezra scowled at him. "You do know it's lunchtime don't you."
"If you'd quit arguing with Nathan and eat the food that's in front of you, I wouldn't be getting up till it's time for a decent meal and that would be around six tonight." He moved closer to the bed when Nathan stepped out of the way.
"You call this a decent meal, I'd rather wait and have the same one that you're having." Ezra grimaced and pushed the trolley away.
"You're going to eat this one Ezra." Lenny watched as Ezra crossed his arms in front of himself. "Ezra, I'm not in the mood for this . . ."
"Neither am I so why don't you give up and save us both the trouble." Ezra tried to lower himself back down into the bed but instead found his chin in Lenny's strong grip.
Lenny grabbed Ezra's jaw and turned his face towards him. "I don't want any of your self-pity Ezra, eat it!" He released his grip. "Now!" He turned away from him knowing that the stubborn man would now do as he was told.
"I'm going to have a talk with Nathan and when I come back I want to see you eating." He continued to walk away from the figure that lay in the bed, his own anger simmering. "Nathan!"
Lenny walked out into the hallway and ignored the three men who were sitting in the waiting area, he turned around when Nathan joined him. "It's like dealing with a four year old."
Nathan was still smiling at the exchange he just witnessed, Lenny certainly had a way with Ezra.
"Why is he in that mood, he would only be like that if he was angry or hurt?" Lenny stood with his hands on his hips as he faced Nathan.
"He's willing to allow the others to sit with him but he said that it can only be when he's sleeping and they have to leave the room when he wakes up." Nathan knew he was avoiding the question, he could see that Lenny was near boiling point, he was even more threatening than Chris.
"Don't make me repeat my question Nathan."
"What's going on?" Chris and the others stepped closer to the arguing pair.
"I had a talk to him about what happened." Nathan admitted. "We only talked about what happened between the two of us."
"And?" Lenny forced him to continue.
"He thinks we hate him, he's upset about the whole thing." Nathan informed him.
"Do you blame him?" Lenny ran his hand through his short hair. "Don't talk to him again unless I'm there, and I mean awake."
"Sure."
"He said the others can sit with him." Lenny raised his eyebrows.
"It worked just like you said it would, but he won't allow them to stay in the room if he's awake." Nathan smiled, he was quite pleased with himself.
"It's a start." Lenny nodded, he turned towards Chris. "Did you speak to the Doctor?"
"He can leave in three days, no sooner, I gave him my word." Chris informed him. "And what worked?"
"It's amazing what Ezra is willing to do if you make him feel guilty enough." Lenny smiled. "I'll go and sit with him until he falls asleep then one of you can takeover, I can do with a decent meal and I don't mean hospital food.
Chris waited until Lenny closed the door behind him then turned on Nathan.
"How upset was he?"
"Very, he's not willing to fight to get the friendship back, it's going to be a lot harder than we first thought." Nathan looked towards the elevator at the sound of Buck and JD arguing as they stepped off it. "He saw the hate in everyone's eyes Chris and it's going to take a lot of work to get that image out of his mind."
"What's going on?" Buck asked when he joined the group.
"Nathan will explain it to you Buck." Chris moved away from them. He had some thinking to do. In three days time they would have to begin to convince Ezra that they didn't hate him. He wasn't sure what the other guys were going to say to him but he knew what he wanted to say, he just had to sort it out in his own mind first.
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Lenny stepped back into the room to find Ezra eating the food on the plate, he saw the look of disgust that crossed his young face. He held the smile that wanted to form on his own face at the sight in check, Ezra was already angry, he didn't want to make his mood any worse.
"I see you managed to eat some of it." Lenny sat down in the chair and watched him.
"I just wish I knew what it was." He used his fork to lift some of the food up but it leaked from the fork. "I don't know if it's soup or something else."
"You can get a decent meal soon, Doctor Falex said you can go home in three days." Lenny told him.
"I certainly hope you’re talking about takeaway because your cooking isn't any better." Ezra retorted, his mood hadn't improved, even at the mention of being released from the hospital. Ezra knew Lenny would allow him to take out his frustrations on him, he always understood how he felt.
"Now that depends on how well you behave between now and then." Lenny warned him.
"With that threat, I'll be on my best behaviour." Ezra smiled at him.
"Nathan told me he spoke to you about what happened." He watched as Ezra pushed the trolley away a second time. "You okay?"
"No." Ezra took a deep breath to control his emotions. "Nathan wasn't angry because he always thought I was capable of doing what I did, he expected it."
"He didn't tell me that part." Lenny's anger grew again.
"At least he was honest about it."
"Doesn't make what he did any easier on you Ezra."
"I know." Ezra tried to ease himself back down but had to rely on Lenny's help.
"You get some sleep Ezra." He wiped his forehead and felt him nod underneath his hand, he only had to wait a few minutes before Ezra's breathing took on the normal rhythm of sleep. "You have a lot of work ahead of you, you’re going to need your strength and I'm going to need mine, especially when you wake up in Chris's cabin in a few days."
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Ezra sat on the edge of the bed, hoping the look of disdain on his face was enough to destroy the article of clothing that lay on the bed next to him, he looked up at Lenny, his expression never changing. He saw the inflexibility that was written all over his friend's face and knowing that he wouldn't be able to get through to him he looked back at the clothes. It was bad enough that Lenny woke him as soon as the sun came up, then forced more hospital food down his throat, he now expected him to put on the piece of clothing that he supplied. The jeans were blue Levis and similar to the pair he used to own - they had been used for undercover operations - that was okay but the shirt was something completely different.
"Buck bought the shirt didn't he?" Ezra looked back at Lenny. "Is this supposed to be some sort of punishment, did I do something wrong." Lenny smiled at him. "I'm not wearing it."
"I'm not letting you go home without a shirt on." Lenny's smile didn't falter.
"But . . . " Ezra grimaced at the shirt, he moved his hands, palms facing upwards, towards it and lifted his shoulders. "You can't . . . I won't . . . it's . . ." he sighed in frustration. "Alright." he finally surrended but continued to complain. "At least I won't be seen in public with it on." He lifted the white short-sleeved shirt that was covered with small bright orange flowers and grimaced at it, he would never understand that man's taste in clothing. "Collins would see me coming in this thing." he muttered to himself and was grateful that Lenny hadn't heard him. He managed to pull one sleeve on but grimaced when he had to lift his left arm up to shoulder level.
"Let me do that Ezra." Lenny pulled the shirt across Ezra's back so he could keep his elbow bent and slip his arm into the sleeve. He began to do the buttons up but Ezra pushed his hand away.
"That I can do." Ezra told him.
Lenny watched as Ezra did the buttons of shirt up, he had noticed how pale his skin was in comparison to the white shirt, the fresh scar on his forehead was a dark purple, the bruising only leaving the surface of his flesh two days ago, even the scar on his chest stood out darkly against the taught colourless skin. Both scars were reminders of how close Ezra had been to death. He remembered the first sight of his rib cage, the bones nearly protruding from his skin, he had lost a lot of weight since he started the operation nearly three months ago but Lenny didn't realise how much until his saw the bones that use to be covered with toned muscle. He was grateful in one way, without his normal strength, Ezra may not confront Larabee physically.
Once the buttons were done up and the shirt given another foul look, Ezra carefully slipped himself off the bed, the Doctor had allowed him to start walking around two days ago but he was still unsteady on his feet. Lenny pulled himself away from his worried thoughts and quickly grabbed Ezra when he began to sway.
"You okay?" Lenny didn't hide the concern from his voice.
"Yeah, but I'm going to need help with the jeans." Ezra admitted, he allowed Lenny pulled the jeans on for him while he held onto his shoulders.
"You're going to need a belt, they didn't account for your loss of weight." Lenny pulled his own belt from the waistband of his trousers and began to thread it through the jeans.
"Why doesn't it surprise me, you didn't expect them to actually take me into consideration when they bought these things did you." He saw Lenny's look. "I mean would you buy me a shirt like this, I think not."
"Get back on the bed so I can put your boots on and no you can't do it, if you bend over you'll fall down." Lenny smiled at him, he knew Ezra was in a good mood, and that it was because he thought he was going home but the mood would quickly change once he found out that he had been deceived.
They looked towards the door when it opened to see Doctor Falex enter the room, he carried a small plastic container. Lenny knew what was in it, he could also see that the Doctor appeared nervous, he just hoped that Ezra wouldn't notice. Lenny pulled his own trousers back up over his slim hips before they fell down and stepped away from the bed; as soon as Ezra was asleep, he was going to demand Wilmington's belt. He was the one that bought the jeans that were too big so he can be the one to walk around all day keeping his pants up with his hands.
"Ezra, how are you feeling?" Falex handed him the small cup that contained two sleeping pills.
"I'm fine." He dismissed the question. "What are these?"
Falex poured some water into a cup and placed it in Ezra's other hand. "Pain killers, they'll make the drive home easier for you."
"You know how I drive Ezra." Lenny reminded him.
"You have a point there, it's as bad as your cooking." Ezra put the pills in his mouth then drank some of the cool water to help him swallow them.
"Why don't you lie back down Ezra, it'll be another twenty minutes at least until a nurse shows up with a wheelchair and no, you’re not walking out." Falex knew what he was going to say, he said it every time he was discharged from the hospital. "Besides I want to use the opportunity to give you the once over before you leave."
Ezra didn't find anything wrong with that so he did as he was told, he gingerly laid himself down on the bed so the Doctor could examine him, it wasn't until his eyelids began to try to force themselves closed that he knew something was wrong.
"What did you give me?" Ezra fought against the drowsiness he felt.
"Don't fight it Ezra." Falex ordered him, his lifted his wrist and felt his pulse.
"Fight it?" He tried to sit up but Lenny moved forward and pushed him back down. "Lenny what the hell did . . . he give . . . me?"
"Just relax Ezra." Lenny sat on the bed and picked up Ezra's hand, he bent over him and began to wipe his forehead.
"Your . . not taking . . . me . . . home are . . . you?"
"It's for your own protection Ezra." He watched as Ezra lost his struggle against the sleep that was trying to take control of his body, his eyes finally closing.
Falex lifted one of Ezra's eyelids and checked his pupil. "He's asleep, I'll go and get Chris."
Lenny nodded but didn't look at him, he kept his eyes on Ezra's face. "I'm sorry Ezra but I have to do what's best for you, you'll thank me later." He heard the door open again and listened as Chris wheeled the chair into the room.
Lenny got off the bed and sat Ezra up, he positioned his head onto his shoulder and watched as Chris carefully put the bulletproof vest on Ezra. "You ready."
After Chris acknowledged that he was he, leaned Ezra back onto Chris who took his arms, Lenny took his legs and together they carefully lifted him off the bed and sat him in the wheelchair. Lenny stepped away and pulled his trousers back up.
"You haven't got a belt you don't need do you?" Lenny asked Chris.
"Sorry, I usually buy clothes that fit." Chris smiled at him.
"I had to give mine to Ezra, Wilmington forgot that Ezra had lost weight when he bought his clothes." Lenny smiled back at him but the sarcasm wasn't lost on Chris.
"Doc?" Chris looked at him.
Falex pulled his belt off and handed it to Lenny. "It's more for show anyway." he shrugged.
"Thanks." Lenny threaded the belt through his trousers. "He'll sleep for at least eight hours?"
"Yes he will, and in his condition he may even sleep longer, if he does don't worry about him." Falex followed them out of the room. "Lenny, I can't stress the importance of Ezra eating, I want him to have at least five small meals a day, he needs to put the weight back on and get his appetite back. He'll get sick if he doesn't eat."
"Don't worry he'll eat." Lenny pushed the chair towards the elevator. "And thanks for everything."
"You're welcome." He shook Lenny's hand then Chris's. "Just make sure you look after him and when you know he's safe bring him back for a checkups."
"I will." Lenny shook his hand again and watched the Doctor walk away.
"It's all clear." Chris informed Lenny after he hung up his cell phone, he pushed the down button on the elevator.
"Josiah's downstairs and Nathan's waiting in the car.
"He's going to kill me when he finds out what I'm doing." Lenny commented more to himself than to Chris.
"He'll understand." Chris kneeled down next to the chair and lifted Ezra's fallen hand back onto his lap.
"And if he doesn't." Lenny asked him.
"Then we tell him it was a direct order from Judge Travis." Chris tried to reassure him but for the first time since he met Lenny he could see fear in his eyes, it was a different type of fear to the one they had seen when they thought Ezra was going to die.
The elevator doors opened and Lenny pushed the chair into it with Chris following him. He pushed the button that would take them to the first floor. "He'll understand Lenny." Chris said with more confidence.
They stepped off the elevator and headed to the exit that led to the outside world, this time with Josiah following them. They stopped at the doors while Chris used his phone to let Nathan know they were waiting, a few seconds later Nathan's car reversed into the ambulance only area. Josiah walked through the opening doors first, he efficiently used his eyes to check the area then nodded to Lenny who pushed the wheelchair through the large opening with Chris behind him. Josiah already had the back door of the car open and Lenny got into the back seat, he took Ezra's head and laid it onto his lap when Chris and Josiah lifted Ezra into the car, he nodded to Josiah who bent Ezra's legs then shut the door. He got into the front seat and told Nathan to go. Lenny looked over his shoulder through the back window and saw Chris running to his own car, he looked down at Ezra who was oblivious to what was happening around him and wiped the loose hair that had fallen onto his forehead. He was doing the right thing, he was sure of it.
________________________________________
Lenny looked up for the first time during the five hour drive when Nathan slowed down and turned onto the dirt road that led to Chris's cabin. He leaned back as far as he could and looked out of the rear window to see the largest trees as they appeared when they drove past them, he lifted a hand to shade his eyes against the bright sunlight that filtered through the thick branches. His felt his body shift on the seat when the car hit a pothole, he quickly grabbed Ezra's shoulders making sure he didn't fall off the back seat of the car.
"Sorry, you might want to hold onto Ezra, the road is pretty rough." Nathan looked at Lenny in the rear-view mirror.
"Maybe you should try driving a bit slower." Lenny suggested. He looked back down at Ezra to make sure the rough movement didn't wake him. His head now lay in a different position but he wasn't sure if he moved on his own or if the change of position was caused by Nathan's driving, he decided it was the latter, Falex had told him Ezra would sleep for eight hours or more.
"How's Ezra doing?" Josiah twisted himself in his seat so he could look into the back, he could see that Lenny was worried.
"He's fine." Lenny didn't look up from Ezra's face.
It was another thirty minutes before the cabin was in view, Lenny looked over Nathan's shoulder to see the large wooden building, only the front was visible, the rest of the building was surrounded by trees. A large porch spaned the width of the front part of the cabin then disappeared around the corners of the building, a large bay window sat on either side of the front door, shutters that were placed inside of the house allowed the occupant the privacy that he cherished. As they got closer, he could see the lake through the trees, a long jetty reached out into the water, a boathouse sat beside it, the large ripples in the water causing it to sway slightly.
"Wow." Lenny didn't realise he'd spoken aloud.
"That's what we thought when we first saw it." Josiah turned his head to look at Lenny. "Wait until you get inside."
Nathan pulled the car to a stop in front of the steps that led up to the porch and the front door of the cabin. Lenny waited for Nathan to open the back door, he carefully lifted Ezra's head while he managed to squirm his way out of the car, then laid his head back down again, allowing the peaceful expression to fall towards the back seat, he made sure he was comfortable and closed the door. There was no use in getting him out until Chris and the others arrived. Lenny put his hands on his lower back and stretched the stiffness out then took a deep breath of fresh mountain air.
"How long until they get here?" Lenny asked Josiah, he didn't look at him, his eyes were too busy taking in his surroundings, he enjoyed the scenery and he wanted to be familiar with the terrain in case something happened.
"Ten minutes." Josiah answered him.
Lenny looked down at his watch, he squinted his eyes towards the part of the trees where Chris's car will appear, he turned to look into the window of the car to make sure Ezra was alright and when he was satisfied that he was still sleeping he turned back to the trees. After what seemed like an eternity, the dodge finally showed itself to the waiting trespassers. Chris drove past Nathan's car and reversed his own so it to was facing away from the building, it would be easier if they had to leave quickly.
"How's Ezra?" Chris asked when he got out of the driver's side of his car.
"Sleeping." Lenny replied.
"Josiah help Lenny with Ezra, the rest of you get the stuff out of the car." Chris ordered them as he made his way up the steps to the front door.
Lenny thought that Chris gave orders like it was a gift that came naturally to him, it was something that he himself respected in a person. He was confident that Ezra was in good hands, physically anyway, he still required some lessons when it came to a person's emotions, especially Ezra's but he'd make sure that the lessons would be taught during the next two weeks. He turned back to the car and opened the door, he lifted Ezra's shoulders and carefully dragged him out of the car, and he hesitated so Josiah could grab Ezra's legs.
"I'll carry him." Lenny told Josiah, he allowed him to help him adjust his hold so he could carry the sleeping burden in his arms as though he were a child.
"You got him?" Josiah held out his arms just in case.
"Yeah, he really has lost a lot of weight." Lenny gazed down into Ezra's face then nodded towards the house. "Lead the way."
Lenny easily carried Ezra into the house, he meant to follow Josiah but he stopped just inside the door, he allowed Chris to gently push him to the side so he could close the door. His light blue eyes travelled the large open sitting area, a huge fireplace had been built into the south wall, and he could see into the kitchen from where he was standing, he could also hear Buck and JD arguing about the ruined frozen pizza. He knew instantly that the cabin had been decorated in a western style, the couches, rugs and wood panelling that lined the walls only to be separated by brick was a dead giveaway, to the left of the large open space were doors that must have led to the main bedrooms.
"Are you going to stand there all day." Chris asked him.
"I know you already don't like me Larabee so I have no problem asking you this," he turned to Chris, a smile on his countenance so he would know he didn't mean what he was about to say, "are you on the take?"
"It's not as expensive as it looks." Chris didn't take any offense. "You can put Ezra in my room, second door." Chris pointed towards the door that Josiah held opened.
Lenny walked into a large room that was decorated in a similar style to the living area, he laid Ezra down on the large bed that was flushed against the wall facing the door. He sat Ezra up so Josiah could take the bulletproof vest off, he laid him down, easing his head onto the pillow. Lenny removed Ezra's boots and pulled the handmade quilt up to his chin, he wiped his cheek in a gesture of affection then walked away leaving him to continue sleeping.
"It'll be another few hours yet so how about some coffee then you can show me around so I can get the feel of the place." Lenny requested of Larabee.
"Sure, Josiah why don't you sit with Ezra, I'll get one of the others to bring you some coffee."
"Only if Buck and JD don't make it." Josiah settled himself into the large rocking chair and watched the sleeping form in the bed.
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Ezra could hear a familiar sound, he waited a for few moments for his memory to register what it was. Once the source was connected to the sound he remembered what happened, they tricked him, he had been given something to make him sleep and was then brought to Chris Larabee's cabin. He knew where he was because of the rocking chair, he had spent his first night of the fishing trip in this room. He hadn't been able to cope with the comradeship among the six men, and feeling left out he had drunken too much alcohol to try to drown out the lonely feelings that had taken control of him. He had seen the way they had interacted with each other and knew he would never really be a part of it. He also knew it was because he wouldn't allow himself to become a member of the family for fear of being hurt, not being accepted as one of them, that had happened once too often in his life and it was now happening again.
He had woken the next morning to the same sound, but it had been made worse by the hangover he had been suffering from. Nathan had been sitting in the chair, being an ex-medic he always took it upon himself to be the healer of the group and take care of them when one of them became sick, which surprised him because he didn't consider himself to be one of them. He wondered who it would be this time, he decided to use his voice to find out.
"Lenny?" His voice came out as a hoarse whisper, he was about to try again when a familiar voice answered him.
"I'm here Ezra." Lenny had returned to the room to find Ezra lying on his stomach, he had rolled over which meant the sleeping pills were wearing off, he sent Josiah out of the room, he wanted to be alone with Ezra when he woke up. He didn't want any outside influences to make him even more angry. He moved to the bed and sat down next to Ezra's waking form.
"Why am I here?" Ezra didn't try to roll over, he was still tired and knew he was going to go back to sleep as soon as his question was answered.
"We want to help you Ezra, and we thought this would be the best place, you also need protection, and Collins is still out there." Lenny answered him, he watched his face carefully, the light coming through the window showed his features clearly and he looked for the anger that he had been expecting but there wasn't any.
"We?"
"They need to talk to you Ezra, they need to explain their reactions." He thought he may as well bring it all out into the open, he had to know what was going to happen.
"And you brought me here so I couldn't walk out the front door." Ezra could already feel the darkness coming back for him. "Lenny, if they hurt me, you'll pay for it."
"They won't Ezra."
"You better be right Lenny, I won't take that again, not from them and not from you." He didn't fight it anymore, he wanted to go back into oblivion.
Lenny waited a few minutes then left the room, he closed the door quietly behind him and made his way to one of the three couches that faced the fireplace, he sat down, his expression showing the worry he felt.
"We've got a problem." He informed the group of men who were watching him from the moment he walked out of the main bedroom. "He's calm, too calm."
"And that's a problem?" If it wasn't for the expression on Lenny's face Chris would have laughed.
"It's a problem." He pushed himself out of his chair and walked into the kitchen.
"Nathan." Chris nodded to the bedroom door then followed Lenny into the kitchen that was small compared to the living area. "Why is it a problem?"
Lenny leaned back against the counter and crossed his left foot over the other and then his arms across his chest.
"When Ezra is in this mood he can be dangerous, very dangerous." He looked up into Chris's blue eyes and saw his doubt. "If you push him the wrong way he'll either beat the crap out of you and yes that includes Sanchez, or, if he can't be bothered he'll just shoot you."
"You can't be serious." Now Chris knew he was joking.
"I'm very serious, I've seen it once before, hoped I would never see this side again but deceiving him like we did has brought it out, I hope that things will be different when he wakes up again but somehow I very much doubt it."
"Will he let us talk to him?" Chris hoped the trip to repair the friendship wasn't going to be futile.
"Yeah, he'll talk to you, but he'll manipulate it so he can enjoy your discomfort and get as much out of it as he can before he tells you to go to hell. So in his own way he's actually giving you a chance to get your case across and if you do a good enough job you may be able to get him back." Lenny frowned at the thought. "Actually I'll probably enjoy it as well."
"Just when I begin to think that you might be alright Hoskins, you go and ruin it for me." Chris smiled at him.
"We did get off on the wrong foot but because of what you did to Ezra, that footing will never be in sync." Lenny smiled back at him.
"So we're at a mutual agreement then." Chris raised his eyebrows. "We don't like each other?"
"Agreed." Lenny walked to the fridge and opened it to look at the contents. "How about I cook us all something to eat, I need to get my mind off Ezra for a while."
"Sorry but I've heard rumors about your cooking." Chris walked away from the Agent. "Josiah and Nathan can cook dinner."
________________________________________
Ezra lay in the large bed not wanting to open his eyes to find out who was sitting in the chair watching his every movement, he could feel someone's eyes on him but he didn't acknowledge their presence in the room by informing them that he had woken up earlier than was normal for him. He rolled away from the rocking chair and opened his eyes, he closed them against the early morning sun's bright reflections that shone off the pictures that lined the dresser that was against the wall. He opened them again and looked for the picture he knew would also be there, it was at the end of the procession of photo frames, and he looked at the faces of the six ATF Agents, his own not being one of them. The photo was just like the two in Larabee's office, one of them had been taken on the weekend that he was here but for some reason Chris chose not to put the picture that had included him in the frame. Ezra had to look at it every time he entered that office, it was a stark reminder that he wasn't welcome to join the family that had formed within the small group of men.
He pushed the quilt aside and sat up but he had moved to quickly, he held his head in his hands while he waited for the dizzy spell to end, they always did. His mind heard Josiah's voice asking what he was doing but he ignored him, he slowly stood up and made his way to the dresser. He looked more closely at the picture, Buck had JD in a bear hug while Josiah had his hand on Nathan's shoulder, and Vin leaned back against Chris, both men sporting a smile that was unusual even for them.
Ezra pulled his eyes from the picture and pulled the sickening shirt off his back. He didn't care about the pain that registered in his chest, the wounds had healed closed but the broken rib that was still mending gave him a certain amount of pain. He searched the drawers in the dresser for a plain one to wear, he pushed the black material aside and finally found a simple light blue cotton shirt, he slipped his arms into the long sleeves and only did enough buttons up to stop it falling open and revealing his thin frame.
"Ezra?" Josiah couldn't get a response from the younger man, he obviously didn't want to talk to him. He watched him slowly move towards the door, each step seemed to be an effort for him. He quickly got up out of the chair and followed in case his legs protested against the excessive use and collapse on him causing him to fall to the ground but Ezra made it to the door and beyond.
Ezra shuffled into the living area of the cabin, the socks that he still wore slid against the polished wooden floor, relieving him of any real effort on his part to put one foot in front of the other. He didn't see the dark clad figure that sat on one of the couches facing the fire place, he was concentrating on making it to the kitchen so he could get a much needed drink of water or coffee if there was any made, he was sure there would be.
Chris looked over his shoulder when he heard the soft movement behind him, he saw Ezra's form come into his line of vision, he recognised his shirt and smiled, the man would never wear a shirt Buck picked out unless his life depended on it and yesterday it had, Lenny wasn't one to take no for an answer. He could see the concentration on Ezra's face and decided not to disturb him.
The injured man continued to move forward but he reached an obstacle, his feet stopped when they met the edge of the thick rug. He looked down to his left then right to see if there was enough room on either side of the large cream coloured rug, he still hadn't seen Chris who was watching him from the couch. He sighed, he couldn't go around it, there wasn't enough room, he turned slightly to look at the bedroom door and contemplated going back but the sight of Josiah leaving the room was enough of an incentive for him to pick up his right foot and move forward. Ezra carefully walked across the rug, waiting for the last struggling step that would take him to the other side of the hurdle so he could make use of the wooden floor once again.
Ezra gratefully made it to the kitchen without any mishaps, the last thing he wanted was to be picked up off the floor and carried back to the bedroom. He smelt the coffee and scowled at the brewing pot, the smell told him that Buck had made it, he walked to the sink and got a glass of water instead. He tried to reach into one of the cupboards above the sink but the restrictive movement caused by his rib made him fail in his attempt.
"Can I get it for you Ezra?" Josiah asked him, he had entered the kitchen in time to see the look of pain on Ezra's face when he tried to raise his arm above his head.
Ezra nodded and stepped back. "The Tylenol please."
"Your head?" Josiah got the Tylenol from the cupboard and handed them to Ezra.
"No, I have six pains in the butt, of course I have a headache!" He took four pills out of the packet and swallowed them with the help of the water.
"Would you like me to make some fresh coffee?" Josiah refused to play Ezra's game.
"Thanks." Ezra shuffled away and headed back into the main room.
Ezra continued to move in the same way, he found it easier if he didn't have to actually lift his foot off the floor, especially after the tiring effort he just made when he walked across the rug. He sat down heavily on the couch closest to the kitchen and winced at the sight of Chris Larabee sitting on one of the others. He locked eyes with him for a few seconds but his headache was too bad to continue, he turned away from him and leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes, hiding any view of Larabee's form from his mind. He could feel the cold blue eyes still on him.
"Have you got something to say Mr Larabee, perhaps you would like to know why I am up at this ungodly hour." Ezra asked him.
Chris had looked back up at the shuffling sound, he watched as Ezra practically fell down onto the couch. "No but I would like to ask you how your feeling Ezra?" He couldn't hide the concern he felt towards the undercover agent.
"Considering the current conditions I am being held under against my will, I am doing just dandy thankyou Mr Larabee." The anger and sarcasm fell in heavy droplets from the tone of Ezra's voice.
Chris didn't fail to notice the anger that was in Ezra's words, he decided to do what Lenny had asked of them and that was not to talk to Ezra about what had happened without the FBI Agent's presence in the room. He also remember what the seemingly calm man had told him about the side of Ezra that was dangerous and wondered if the anger was part of that side.
"How's your headache?" Chris watched for any changes in his facial expression but knew that any emotions he was feeling would be hidden behind his calm facade, Ezra's poker face was the best in the business, that's why he was second to no one in his chosen profession.
"It's fine." Was the clipped reply.
"He just took four Tylenol." Josiah informed him when he entered the room carrying a tray with three large mugs.
"Here's your coffee Ezra." He looked down into the angry green eyes which was the only response to his statement.
Ezra took the mug by the handle then sat back against the couch, he grimaced when Josiah sat down next to him.
'Just great!' he thought to himself. He closed his eyes again and waited for the painkillers to take effect and for the coffee to cool down enough so he could drink it, once he had done that he was going back to bed.
Chris watched Ezra while he drank his coffee, the permanent scowl on his face telling him that Ezra knew he was being scrutinised but refused to say anything about it. He could see Ezra's sunken stomach through the opening of his shirt, he hadn't done all the buttons up and when he sat down on the couch the lower half of the shirt had fallen open. Chris stared at the pale skin, he saw the gap between the waistband of the jeans and Ezra's flesh. He hadn't realised how much weight the undercover agent had actually lost.
"Ezra?" Chris didn't expect an answer.
"What?" Ezra didn't look at him.
"If Josiah made you some breakfast would you eat it?" He waited patiently. "Doctor Falex wants you to eat at least five times a day."
"Doctor Falex isn't here." Ezra retorted.
"No but Lenny is." Chris smiled at the hurt expression, and realised he had an ace in the hole, if the mention of Lenny's name could get Ezra to do something then he'd use it.
"Only if it's something light."
"What about some scrambled eggs and toast?" Josiah stood up and looked down at Ezra, he saw the slight nod that indicated he accepted the decision.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight
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