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azombiewritesTitle: The Betrayal
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language, violence and drug use.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest.
Summary: Team Seven believe that Ezra Standish has betrayed them.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Notes: Lenny Hoskins is my creation. I don't have any medical knowledge- forgive any mistakes.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 96,713
Ezra woke with a start when he felt the elbow hit his side, he blinked his eyes and looked over his shoulder in confusion and saw Lenny still sleeping, he gave him a foul look and laid back down with the intention of sleeping a few more hours, he felt the elbow again and gave up. He grimaced when he saw the sun's brightness filling the room, they must have slept through the morning. Ezra hung his head at the thought of the others checking on them only to find them sleeping in the same bed. He knew they would use this against him later. It was this thought that made him realise he was ready to begin the process of forgiveness but he knew he wouldn't forget. He pulled himself from the clutches of the bed covers and after pulling his boots on, he made his way quietly out of the room. He first used the bathroom although he didn't need to and then walked to the kitchen. He followed the smell of the fresh coffee that he instantly knew wasn't one of Buck's concoctions. He saw the dark figure that was sitting on the couch but chose not to acknowledge his presence, he needed his coffee first.
Ezra poured himself a large cup of coffee and helped himself to a freshly defrosted Danish. He turned to walk back into the living room and saw the clock on the oven. It read 5:45am.
"Good Lord!" He turned on his heel and walked into the living room. The anger was evident on face, he didn't try to hide it. He sat down on the couch and looked over at the eyes that were watching him carefully.
"Mr Larabee, if I am to come up here again, you will have to put a thicker curtain on that window, a man can't get his sleep when the room is so bright that you think it's the middle of the day." Ezra said angrily.
Chris was shocked at first but then his mind registered what Ezra had said, 'if I am to come up here again.' He felt the relief flood through him, it was as though a dam had held back the emotions and was now breaking and finally let them flow.
"But you have to get up early Ezra, it's the best time of the day to go fishing." Chris smiled in relief, he actually felt like getting up and giving the younger man a hug but he kept himself in control.
"I refuse to get up this ungodly hour just to go and catch a fish!" Ezra retorted. "Not that there would be any awake."
"Now you have that out of your system, tell me what your really thinking." Chris prodded.
Ezra sighed and slumped lower on the couch. "You gave me a second chance when I didn't deserve it so I decided that I would do the same. I'm not ready to forget and it may take me a while to forgive but I'm willing to give it another go." Ezra explained to his boss. "I'll stay, for a while anyway."
"You won't regret that decision Ezra, I promise you. You have my word that we won't do that again." Chris looked down into his coffee. "What about Buck and the others?"
Ezra shrugged. "I understand what JD felt, Nathan was honest from the start, I pretty much have an idea what you were thinking but I still need time to sort out what you said." Ezra looked at Chris. "Buck hasn't said much, Vin and Josiah want me to take the blame."
"I'll get them to talk to you when Lenny wakes up, I know you prefer him to be with you." Chris smiled into his coffee. "You guys seem really close. Do you often sleep together?" He refused to look up when he heard the muttered curse come from the other couch.
________________________________________
Chris could hear the muted voices as they approached the back door of the cabin, he quickly got up and walked into the kitchen to greet them. The others had decided to go and catch breakfast, it had been the first day since they arrived that they could safely venture outside without having to worry about Collins. JD was the first to enter and Chris raised his forefinger to his mouth, indicating to the younger man to be quiet.
"What's up Chris?" JD's loud voiced echoed through the kitchen and into the living room.
"Shut up JD!" Chris growled at him.
JD was shocked, he stood still and only moved forward when Buck ran into the back of him.
"Get out of the way JD." Buck pushed him further into the kitchen.
"Will you shut up!" Chris repeated. "Ezra's asleep on the couch."
"Didn't like the company in the other bed." Nathan smiled, he walked in after Buck and freed the doorway of its obstruction.
"Sorry Chris." JD muttered as he walked to the sink.
"It's not your fault JD." Ezra managed talk and yawn at the same time. He shuffled his still sleepy form towards the kitchen table and sat down heavily in the chair. "Did you catch anything?"
"Hmm?" Nathan asked him.
"Fish?" Ezra rolled his eyes.
"They weren't biting." JD told him.
Ezra turned to Chris, a mischievous smile crossed his face. "I told you they would still be sleeping."
"We weren't sleeping." JD informed him.
"He was talking about the fish JD." Chris smiled, it made him feel good to see Ezra smile properly and Lenny wasn't even in the room. But he also knew it was only a momentary thing, it wasn't as if everything that had happened was going to be swept under a carpet. It was going to take time and there were going to both good and bad moments between Ezra and the rest of the group. This was one of the good, one of the bad would be following it.
"I see you two are on more friendly terms." Josiah established.
"Well Mr Sanchez, if you put in more of an effort to talk to me then maybe things would improve with you!" Ezra retorted.
"You don't want us to talk to you while Hoskins isn't in the room remember." Vin reminded him.
Ezra stood up and walked over to Vin, he glared up into the eyes that looked so much like Lenny's. "And you treated me like shit, do you remember that!"
"Yes I do Ezra and it's something that I'll never forget." Vin's tone was sincere.
Ezra grimaced in disgust and walked away from him. He gave Chris a look on his way out of the kitchen. "See, what am I supposed to think! He keeps blaming me! I haven't even heard an apology from him or Josiah yet."
Vin made to follow Ezra but Chris stopped him with a shake of his head. "Wait for Lenny."
"You didn't. Why should we?" Vin asked angrily.
"I asked him, he said yes but Nathan stayed in the room with him." Chris nodded towards Ezra's back. "You've just made him angry, if you try talking to him now you'll end up with a bruise to match mine." He pushed against Vin's chest causing him to move back into the kitchen. "Nathan, JD, why don't you go and sit with Ezra while we make some breakfast."
"Come to keep me company have you?" Ezra asked the two men when they sat down on the other couches.
"Yeah, anything's better than being in there." JD motioned with his head. "Chris is about to clobber Vin."
"It also means that Bucks doing some of the cooking." Nathan smiled at Ezra and saw his face relax.
"I think I am going to have to forgive him just he can sit with me and not cook." Ezra stated seriously.
________________________________________
Lenny woke with a pounding headache and aching chest, he sat up and grimaced as more pain radiated from the bruises on his chest. The painkillers Nathan had given him last night had worn off but then again they weren't really painkillers, they only numb the pain not kill it. He would have laid back down but knew it would only cause more pain so he did the inevitable, he got up. He stood on trembling legs for a moment and waited to fall back down but he didn't. He still partially dressed so he walked carefully to the door and opened it. He'd only taken two steps before he felt a hand on his arm, helping him to walk. He looked into Ezra's green eyes.
"I can walk you know." Lenny informed him.
"Sure you can." Ezra smiled up at him, he wouldn't look at the dark bruises forming on his friend's chest. "That's the way Lenny, now the left foot."
Lenny pulled his arm away from him. "Get away from me, this is your fault you know." He grimaced at him.
Ezra stepped back and lifted his hands up but he also continued to walk sideways matching his friend’s steps until they reached the first couch. Lenny scowled down at Vin and Buck and they got off the seat so he could sit down. Ezra sat next to him. Lenny looked up at the person who handed him a cup of coffee and four Tylenol.
"Thanks Nathan, your taking better care of me than Ezra."
"I protest at that heinous remark upon my person." Ezra retorted.
"You're in a remarkably good mood this morning." Lenny smiled at him.
"I enjoy seeing you in pain, it makes my day better." Ezra shrugged, a look of innocence on his face.
"And here we were thinking it was because you two shared a bed last night." Chris smiled at the two, he was enjoying the remarks they continued to throw at each other.
"Can we talk now?" Buck interrupted the conversation.
"Anyone ever tell you that you have impeccable timing Mr Wilmington." Ezra's tone was heavy with sarcasm.
Buck took it as confirmation that he could start talking, Ezra hadn't said no. But he also realised that he still didn't know what to say, he sat looking at Ezra, his open mouth waiting to say something and nothing would come out.
"It's very unusual for you to be speechless Buck." Ezra actually smiled, the sorrowful look on the older man's face had drained some of the anger from him. He knew they were all sorry for what happened, even Vin and Josiah, they were just having more difficulty talking to him. He knew that Vin always had trouble showing his feelings and voicing them, he was going to have to remember that when he listened to Vin's explanation.
Buck closed his mouth then grimaced at JD who had elbowed him in the side. "Give me a minute will you!" He growled at his young friend. He looked back at Ezra who was still sitting next to Lenny, the pair were just like himself and JD, the relationship was the same, they would do anything for each other, including dying to save the other's life.
"Aw hell Ezra, I'm so sorry." He rubbed his hand through his hair and missed the rolling of Ezra's eyes. "I know I've already said that but I can't say it enough Ezra. I hate myself for what I did. I couldn't handle it when I found you doped up like that, I lost control, I'm never going to forgive myself for what I did and I won't blame you if you don't either." He looked up at Ezra, his face showing nothing of what he was feeling.
"Why did you keep kicking me?"
"I don't know Ezra." But he did, he didn't want to tell Ezra because he was afraid of how he would take it.
"That's not good enough. You kept kicking me until you cracked my ribs. I deserve a better answer than that." Ezra told him.
"Four times I kicked you, I counted each one, I even heard Nathan's voice telling to me stop but I couldn't or wouldn't, I don't know. I blocked everything out and all I could see was a drug addict, all I could hear were your grunts of pain. I wasn't able to stop until Nathan pulled me away and then all I could see was the man that I had once considered a friend. But I pushed that image away because it made it easier for me to deal with what I did." Buck hung his head and looked at the floor. He could feel everyone's eyes on him. "I know that doesn't answer your question Ezra, but I really don't know why I hit you then kicked you like that. I lost control but I don't know why. I'm sorry Ezra. I'm sorry I can't tell you why."
Ezra looked sideways at Lenny to see if he had accepted the answer Buck gave him, he could see the anger in his eyes, he didn't accept the answer. Neither did Ezra, there had to be a reason but either Buck was telling the truth and he was yet to realise what that reason was or he refused to tell him.
"There's a reason you just won't admit it Wilmington." Lenny growled at him. "Tell him why!"
"I saw what he was doing to Chris!" Buck stood up at the revelation. "He was going through the same thing he did when Sarah and Adam died and I hated you for putting him through that again."
"Damn it Buck!" Chris stood up also. "Why the hell didn't you tell me that. I would have known sooner why I was doing it!"
"Aw shit." Ezra moaned.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I saw what their deaths did to him and knew that yours would do the same thing, he does care about you, but like you he won't admit it. I hated you and when I found you like that it gave me an opportunity to give some of that hurt back."
Lenny put his arm around Ezra's shoulders and gave him the support and comfort he needed. What Buck had just said was confirmation of what Chris had said, but how could Ezra forgive him for knowing it all along. He could have put a stop to Chris's treatment of Ezra but didn't.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I worried more about what Chris was going to go through than what you were going through."
"If you say you’re sorry once more Buck I'm going to be sick!" Ezra yelled at him. He leaned over and laid his head on Lenny's shoulder.
"Ezra . . . " Buck started.
"Get the fuck away from me!" Ezra used his hand to wave him off.
"I should have told him, but all I could see was the hurt he was going through and I knew he was taking his anger out on you. I didn't stop him because of the same reason why I kicked you, he was giving back to you what you were giving him. You were hurting him and I wanted to see him hurt you."
"You fucking bastard!" Lenny pulled Ezra closer to him trying to protect him from what Buck was saying.
"Ezra?" Buck tried to get his attention but didn't receive any sort of acknowledgement from Ezra.
Ezra didn't know what to think, he was to angry, he turned his gaze to the man who knelt before him and kicked out with his left leg. It landed squarely on Buck's chest and the force of the blow threw him back against the couch that JD was sitting on.
"Now were even." Ezra said calmly. He had felt one of Buck's ribs crack beneath the heel of his boot.
"Do you want to kick me too?" Vin asked as he came forward, he stepped over Buck's slumped form. "Will it make you feel better if you hurt me?"
"It might." Ezra's tone was still calm.
"Then do it, if it will make you feel better then do it." Vin stood with his arms out stretched showing Ezra that he was going to defend himself. "If you want to do to me what we did to you then go ahead Ezra."
Ezra looked away from him and placed his head against Lenny's shoulder once more. He ignored Buck's moans of pain while Nathan examined him. It didn't make him feel any better, he was still angry. He felt another hand on his shoulder and jerked around, his fist came upwards but stopped in mid-air when he saw Chris's understanding expression.
"I'm sorry Ezra. You can't hold him responsible for what he did. It's like when he deals with a woman, his head does his thinking for him and I don't mean the one on his shoulders." Chris managed to get a small smile from the man in front of him and now that he knew, he had calmed Ezra's anger he told him what needed to be said. "Buck would do what he thought was right to protect me from being hurt but he did the wrong thing Ezra. Buck does a lot of stupid things, he always has and always will." Chris squeezed his shoulder. "What he did to you was one of those stupid things, he let some other part of his anatomy do his thinking for him, his heart, instead of his brains. He hated seeing me go through what I did after Sarah and Adam's death and there wasn't anyone he could blame or punish, but this time he found someone, he found you, he blamed you then punished you for what I went through and what I was going through. I just wished I had known sooner Ezra, I could have stopped all of it, it's my fault."
"It's not your fault." Ezra whispered.
"I started it Ezra, I beat you, I treated you with hatred, and it was my fault, all of it." Chris's own eyes were full of sadness and guilt.
"And I thought you were going to be the hardest one to forgive." Ezra looked at Buck, he could see the pain on his face as JD and Nathan lifted him up onto the couch.
"We all had our own reasons for being angry about what happened." Josiah spoke up. "Ezra, I'm sorry for not helping you, I saw that there was something wrong and I didn't talk to you, maybe if I'd been a better friend you could have confided in me, told me what was happening." Josiah came forward and knelt down in the same position as Buck had. "I'm sorry Ezra, for everything, for not being there for you before it started, for not being there during the operation but most of all for not being here for you now."
"Out of all of you I thought it would have been you and Vin who would have understood. I thought you would have tried to help me but you didn't, you still don't understand." Ezra looked at Josiah then Vin.
"I didn't understand Ezra, I thought we were friends, I thought you could confide in me but you didn't, you pushed me away, kept me in the dark, allowed me to think the worse of you." Vin saw the anger in Ezra's eyes and spoke quickly before he did decide to take him up on his offer of physically hurting him. "It's not your fault Ezra, I should never have tried to put the blame on you." Vin nodded to Lenny, asking him to let him sit down next to Ezra. The older agent thought about it for a moment then stood up but he stayed close. Vin sat down and faced Ezra just as Chris was on the other side of the smaller man. "I was angry Ezra, I don't ever remember being so angry, I thought you betrayed the friendship I fought so hard to start. I saw similar things in you that were in me and they drew me to you, I wanted to be a friend, to give you what I thought you didn't have and when you didn't confide in me I thought that what we had was a lie, that you were laughing at my efforts to befriend you. I'm sorry Ezra, I should have trusted you more, and I should have asked you what was wrong." Vin looked at Josiah then back at Ezra who was now looking at him. "I'm sorry Ezra, it wasn't your fault, and it was ours."
"Go away." Ezra told them. "All of you, go away!"
"Ezra . . . " Chris tried to talk to him.
"I need time to think Chris. Please, I have to sort this out."
"Sure Ezra, I understand. We'll be outside if you want us." He squeezed his shoulder once more then left the cabin with the others following. Buck was held up between Nathan and JD as they helped him walk out of the room.
Lenny sat back down next to his young friend, he pulled him into a hug and held him tight.
"I can't get over what Buck said." Ezra told him.
"You need to Ezra, you won't be able to forgive him otherwise."
"I don't know if I want to." Ezra admitted.
"It's got nothing to do with wanting to Ezra. You need to forgive him and the rest of them."
________________________________________
Chris watched Nathan strap Buck's chest with a bandage he had removed from the medical kit in the kitchen on the way out. The ex-medic had informed them that Ezra had cracked one of the ribs in his chest. None of them held any anger towards Ezra for what he did. They were all to blame for what happened, not Ezra. His eyes moved to lake, he was listening to Buck's muttered complaints but took no notice of them, what Buck had done was stupid, he deserved what he got, they all deserved it. He had seen the anger that Ezra felt at Buck's admission, he was now worried that Ezra was going to change his mind about staying.
"Chris!" JD repeated.
"What? Sorry JD, I was thinking."
"Do you think he's going to forgive us, stay with the team." JD repeated his question when he realised that Chris hadn't heard it the first time.
"He told me this morning that he was, that he was going to give us a second chance like I gave him but after what Buck just said in there," he shook his head, "I'm not sure anymore."
"He's going to stay." Lenny told them when he exited the back door.
"Is he okay?" Chris asked.
"Physically he's fine, I managed to talk him into getting some sleep." Lenny moved forward and leant against the railing, his back was facing the lake so he could look at the men watching him. "Emotionally, he's hurting. Chris, you know Ezra, he's going to hide his emotions, he's not going to let you know how much he's hurting so please, don't let that convince you that he's okay because he isn't, it's going to be a while before that hurt is gone."
"We're all hurting Lenny but not as much as Ezra. And no we won't allow him to convince us he's okay."
Lenny nodded. "We've still got another week of our deal." He commented as he turned around to look at the lake
that stood before him.
"What are you suggesting?" Chris raised his eyebrows even though Lenny wasn't looking at him.
"I'm suggesting we stay here, there's no hurry to go back." He turned back around. "Besides, it will give you the chance to spend some quality time with Ezra. You can start proving to him how much you do care and how sorry you really are, especially you and Wilmington."
"Thanks Lenny." Chris stood up and shook the man's hand. "If it wasn't for you we wouldn't have gotten through to him."
"As long as you realise I still don't like you and I still want to beat the shit out of all of you for what you did to him. You’re going to get Ezra's forgiveness Larabee but you aren't going to get mine."
"That's okay, we still don't like you either and maybe one day I'll let you try and beat the shit out of me." Chris smiled.
"Try?" Lenny returned the smile, the amusement that he felt showed through.
________________________________________
Ezra sat on the porch that overlooked the lake, he could see the sunset mirrored on the stillness of its waters and he found it to be comforting. He glanced sideways at Lenny then turned his eyes back to the lake. He could see the six men lining the jetty with their fishing poles, they were fishing again, trying to catch the fish that they had continuously failed to catch in the mornings. He saw the occasional glances that looked up at the house, it was as though they were afraid he would leave when they weren't looking. He was beginning to feel the need to runaway, he thought he had made the wrong decision. They had spent the last week speaking to him about what had happen, each of them going in turn to elaborate on what they had told him. Lenny and Chris stayed with him when he spoke to Buck, his anger had eased towards the older man but he hadn't forgiven him, it would still take time.
"What are you thinking about Ezra?" Lenny asked him. He knew that he wanted to talk about something.
"I'm scared Lenny." Ezra admitted. This was something he would never tell the others, he couldn't confide in them like he could Lenny.
"About what?" Lenny turned in his chair so he could give Ezra his full attention.
"About going back to work. It's easier dealing with them while you’re here, but you'll be going back to Atlanta soon, then I'm going to have to deal with them on my own. I don't know if I can do that."
"You won't be on your own Ezra, they'll help you." He nodded towards the men who were gathering up their equipment, they had given up trying to catch the elusive fish. "The first day will be the hardest part but once they welcome you back you'll be fine."
"And if they don't." He looked at Lenny.
"They will Ezra." Lenny looked back down at the six dejected men who were now walking towards them.
"I'm beginning to think I made a mistake by agreeing to stay. Maybe I should leave." Ezra hung his head and wiped his forehead with his left hand. "I don't want to get hurt again."
"Ezra look at me." He waited for his friend to turn to him. "They won't hurt you again, you'll only be hurting yourself if you leave." He could see the doubt on his young face.
"I was angry before but now all I feel is doubt that I made the wrong choice and now fear because I think they’re going to hurt me again." He looked back at the stillness of the lake hoping to take comfort in it. "They'll never understand how much they hurt me." He shook his head. "I don't know anymore Lenny."
"You told them you were going to give them a second chance, are you going to back out on that?" Lenny watched the damp eyes look up at him.
"But . . . "
"No buts Ezra, you either do it or you don't. It's your choice, I can't make your decision for you. If you want to throw it away then do it, if you want another chance at a good friendship then stay." He got out of the chair and knelt down in front of Ezra, they were both oblivious to the men who stood at the top of the steps listening to the end of the conversation. "I know what they did to you Ezra and I understand how much they hurt you. Ezra, they're hurting nearly as much as you, it's a different hurt but their feeling it as well and like you they need to get things back to normal so you can all begin to heal." He put his hands on shaking knees. "I would never lie to you Ezra. I believe you’re doing the right thing. You also know I can't stand Larabee and he's not the only one I don't like, but their good for you Ezra, in a different way to what I am."
Ezra nodded, he trusted Lenny.
"Good, now come on," he slapped Ezra's left knee, "I think they deserve some of my cooking on our last night up here, don't you."
"Only if I don't have to eat it." Ezra tried to smile.
"Ezra, I'm offended." Lenny stood up and turned towards the back door that led to the kitchen. He stopped when he saw Larabee and the others watching him and Ezra.
"You Lenny Hoskins are never offended." Ezra turned to see what his friend was looking at. He also saw the group of men who were standing at the top of the steps. "I believe that your idea has just been bitten on the butt." Ezra turned away, a larger smile playing on his lips.
________________________________________
Chris Larabee drove through the streets of Denver, the bright early morning sunlight shone off the windscreen causing him to grimace against the bright glare even though he was wearing sunglasses. His mind drifted towards the southerner who was returning to work today. It had been three weeks since they returned home and Doctor Falex had finally given Ezra a clean bill of health but he still needed to put back on a few more pounds. Chris knew Ezra still had his doubts about going back to work with the members of Team Seven, even after all this time but he wouldn't admit it to them.
Things had gone pretty well during the second week they stayed at the cabin after Ezra had decided to stay with the ATF team, they had all witnessed the strong caring relationship he had with Lenny and they hoped that one day, maybe they could have something like that with Ezra. But it would take a lot of work from both parties, Chris and the others were prepared to work at it and Ezra was willing to give them another chance. But Lenny had returned to Atlanta and now Ezra was on his own with them, he no longer had Lenny to help him deal with the still awkward situation and it was this that was giving him his doubts.
He saw the ATF building up ahead and slowed down to allow the battered jeep to pull into the security gates first. He followed Vin down into the garage and parked his dodge next to the jeep. Chris got out of the car, a smile on his face as he was prepared to greet the quiet man but it turned into a frown. He instead got Vin's attention and nodded towards the black jag that was parked further up towards the end of the garage, the driver still behind the wheel.
"I'll go." Chris handed Vin his briefcase which held the report that would finally put an end to the undercover case that Ezra had taken part in, the report closed with a recommendation that Ezra Standish receive a commendation, it also held the present the six men had pitched in for. They planned to give it to Ezra later that day. He gave Vin a reassuring smile and slowly walked up to the jag. He stopped a short distance away from the car and watched Ezra for a few moments first. The younger agent's head was leaning back on the car seat, his eyes closed. Chris thought that he might have been sleeping but he saw the brow frown in thought. He stepped forward and tapped on the window.
Ezra had been lost in his own world for the last twenty minutes. He was still having second thoughts about coming back to work, he had hoped that Falex would give him another week, he needed more time but it had run out and now here he was in the garage trying to force himself to join his fellow agents on the seventh floor of the building. He hadn't slept at all the night before and instead of dwelling on it at home he thought he would go into his office, thinking that if he arrived before everyone else did it would have been easier for him, but it wasn't, he hadn't been able to get out of the car. Ezra had noticed Buck and JD arrive earlier but they had been to boisterous to notice him sitting in his car. Nathan followed a short time later, then Josiah, neither of them seeing him or pretending not to see him, he decided it was the latter, they were to observant not to see him there. He was grateful for the time and space they had given him.
He fought against starting the engine of the expensive car and going home, he was about to give in to the urge when he heard the knock on the driver's window. The sound that broke through the silence in the car caused Ezra to jump, his head nearly hitting the roof of the car. He turned his surprised expression sideways and saw Chris looking down at him. His poker face quickly fell into place as his arm reached forward to wind down the window but Chris didn't give him a chance to, the dark clad leader opened the door and knelt down in front of him.
"You coming inside Ezra?" Chris smiled up at him, he knew the poker face was hiding the doubts the younger man was feeling.
Ezra looked down at him then over his shoulder towards Vin who was standing at the elevator, he saw the gentle smile that crossed his face. His green eyes turned back to Chris and he nodded at him without saying anything, he didn't trust his voice to stay calm. Chris stood up and waited. It took Ezra another few minutes before he actually got out of his car, his leader closed the door for him. Ezra was still hesitant, he watched as Chris took the lead and began to walk towards Vin. Once he took his first step, he found the others to be easier and reached the elevator a few steps behind Chris.
"Good to have you back Ezra." Vin slapped him on the back and left his hand there for a couple of seconds, long enough to feel the tension in the agent's shoulders.
Ezra nodded again. Vin leaned back and looked across at Chris who shook his head in return indicating that he didn't want to push Ezra into anything before he was ready, to let him take things at his own pace. The elevator arrived and the three men stepped into it and stood in silence during the ride to the seventh floor.
"You will protect me from Buck and JD won't you?" Ezra didn't think he could handle those two, not yet, he needed to settle down into his office first. He was sure the two men would overdo if they welcomed him back, their voices would be too loud, the slaps on the back too hard. No, they were the last thing he wanted right now.
"Sure Ezra." Chris smiled at him, he knew exactly what the smaller man was talking about. Buck and JD always meant well but sometimes their exuberance was too much for a person to handle.
When the elevator finally stopped and the doors opened, Ezra had decided that he wanted to go back home, he stepped back away from the two men who had been flanking him and only stopped when his back hit an obstruction.
"Ezra?" Chris saw the flash of fear in the green eyes that darted from the open corridor to the man who stood in front of him. He moved forward and placed his arm on the smaller man's right shoulder. "You have nothing to worry about Ezra. We're never going to let you down like that again. You have my word."
"We all promised you Ezra and we're going to keep that promise." Vin added, he saw the fear in the bright greens leave, only to be replaced by the nagging doubt Ezra had since listening to their apologies and agreeing to stay. But Vin knew that even though he was finally beginning to forgive them, he wasn't going to forget what they had done to him. And he knew the rest of the group wouldn't either.
Chris knew what Ezra was feeling, Lenny had confided in him before he left town. Ezra was afraid of allowing them back in only to have them hurt him again, to turn their backs on him and leave him alone. They had destroyed the trust and friendship that had begun to grow and Ezra's emotional defence had become even stronger, they had proven to him beyond a doubt what he thought was true, that they had never trusted him or considered him a friend. Now they had to work even harder to gain back what they had lost. But more than that, Ezra was afraid of not being welcomed back, that they were only doing this out of guilt. Lenny had tried to convince him otherwise but hadn't succeeded, it was up to them to prove to the southerner that he was now a part of the family. They were going to have to encourage the younger agent all the way, assure him that he was an important member of the group. Chris knew it would take time but as long as they worked at it then things will turn out to be fine, they would be able to convince the younger agent he was now one of them and they weren't willing to let him go.
Chris and Vin grabbed a forearm each and gently forced him out of the elevator before the doors closed on them and lead him along the hallway that led to his office. They hadn't even gained any distance when the sound of JD's laughter filled the small area, warning them that the two men were on their way. Chris felt Ezra pull away from him and move behind him as he tried to hide himself from the two agents. Chris felt the guilt squeeze at his heart, they had completely destroyed everything, Ezra had even become afraid of them. His fear of being hurt had come to the forefront of his mind blocking out all the anger he had felt and it overwhelmed him causing him to lose control in front of them.
He motioned to Vin to say with Ezra while he went and spoke to Buck and JD. Ezra stood partially hidden behind Vin, he watched as Buck and JD looked towards him, an expression of guilt and sympathy on their faces, then understanding. They moved towards him as a group and Vin had to grab his arm to stop him running.
"Ezra, I'm glad you came back." Buck squeezed his shoulder.
"It wouldn't be the same without you Ezra, I mean that." JD smiled and brushed his annoying dark hair back from his face.
"We didn't expect you in so early." Buck continued in a quite tone. Chris had told him that Ezra was actually afraid of being back and if they did or said anything wrong, he would leave. Buck could see a mixture of fear and doubt in the southerner's eyes and he knew the emotions had to be strong for Ezra not to be able to hide them.
"Couldn't sleep." Ezra didn't want to get into a conversation, he just wanted to get to his office, he needed a chance to get in control, he knew they could see what he was feeling, and he hadn't been able to control his fear. The fear that he had felt since arriving had shocked him. Before their explanations, he had felt nothing but anger and then afterwards he was full of doubt and now it was fear. He didn't want to be hurt again, and he was afraid that these men would do that. They had the best intentions but he had a nagging doubt at the back of his mind. Lenny had told him his childhood fears were trying to take control, the child in him didn't want to get close and be put in another situation where the friendships would begin to build up again only to be torn down once more.
"It's good to have you back." Buck took JD's arm and began to lead him away but turned to the smaller man who now stood beside him. "We'll give you some time Ezra, maybe later we could have some coffee and cake." He watched as an expression of suspicion came over Ezra's face, the eyebrows raised in a questioning frown.
"Homemade, JD and I thought we would make you one as a welcome back present."
"Good Lord." Ezra moaned. "I am not eating anything that was made by you in that cesspit you call an apartment."
"Now that's the Ezra we know and love." Buck slapped his back harder than he should have and knocked him towards Chris who had to catch him before he fell down.
Ezra was surprised by the words Buck had used and thought that maybe things would be alright after all. He lifted his head to see Chris holding back his laughter, he grimaced up at the man causing his laughter to escape. "If that is what you call protection Mr Larabee I suggest you try harder next time." He pushed himself away from him and saw the guilt that took control of his boss, he instantly regretted his words. Ezra smiled at him and winked. "Now if you'll excuse me I am going to call Doctor Falex and inform him of my impending arrival due to food poisoning."
"You better tell him to expect all of us." Chris smiled back. He hid his concern over Ezra's frequent changes of mood. Lenny had warned him that Ezra would be like that and as long as he was it meant that he was still healing.
"Hey! There is nothing wrong with our cooking." Buck protested.
"Tell that to your cat Mr Wilmington." Ezra told him as he was escorted to his office.
"Ezra, we don't have a cat." JD called after him.
"Exactly my point Mr Dunne." Ezra smiled over his shoulder at them.
They continued on to the office at the end of the hallway, passing Josiah and Nathan's offices on their way, both of them were empty. Ezra felt the fear grow again. He knew the two men were here and they would have heard their voices but they were not going to greet him and welcome him back to the group like the others had done. His steps slowed and Chris and Vin slowed with him.
"You okay Ezra?" Vin asked him. Ezra had been back to his normal self for a moment but something was bringing the fear back.
"No." Ezra admitted to them. "I don't think I can do this."
"You've come this far Ezra, you can't stop now besides if you can deal with those two you can deal with anything else." Chris gave his arm a comforting squeeze.
"Ezra! Your early." Josiah called out as he came out of Ezra's office.
"We didn't expect you till later." Nathan explained as he too left the office that Josiah had just vacated.
"There is no use denying that you saw me in the car park when you arrived this morning." Ezra told them.
"Yeah we saw you, didn't want to push you Ezra, we knew you would come in when you were ready." Josiah came forward. "I'm really glad you came back brother."
Ezra raised his eyebrow, these men were surprising him, and his green eyes turned to Nathan. He glanced down at the hand that was hidden behind the larger man's back. He could see the hammer that he was trying to hide.
"Oh this." Nathan removed the object he thought was hidden. "Your computer needed fixing."
"I doubt that Mr Jackson."
"Sorry Ezra, but I can't tell you what it's for. It's a secret, you'll find out later." Nathan told him. He was surprised that Ezra hadn't heard the hammering. It was their job to put the nail in the wall and to make sure the position was right so Ezra would be able to put his present where he would always see it.
"I'm hoping it will be used to destroy the cake that was made in my honour?" Ezra asked him.
"That too." Nathan nodded at the suggestion. "Ezra, I'm sure everyone's told you that their happy your back and I want you to know that were grateful to you for giving us another chance to prove that you're part of this family."
Ezra nodded instead of speaking, he hadn't expected this. He knew they were sincere in their words and it drove his fear away. But he knew that it would come back, it would be a while before he would be able to get rid of it. Like his friends, he was willing to work at it.
"Could you guys give me some time alone?" Ezra kept his eyes downcast.
"Sure Ezra but don't think we’re going to leave on your own for too long. We have something for you so we'll be back later." Chris informed him. He saw the smile tugging at Ezra's lips. Yes, things were going to be fine.
________________________________________
Ezra had been sitting in his office for the last two hours, he had been thinking about things. His fear had been reduced and he was beginning to feel more comfortable about being back, Lenny had been right, after the first initial greetings were over he would be fine and he was, he knew there was still a lot of work to do but the hardest part was over. His thoughts were disturbed by the loud voices that were outside his office, he listened to Buck and JD argue over the cake they had made, one of them insisting that it was chocolate while the other claimed it was carrot. Then both realised that what they had made was a chocolate carrot cake. Ezra shook his head.
"There is no way I'm eating that!" he yelled from his position behind his desk. He smiled when he heard the protests that were yelled back at him.
He was about to give them a nasty retort when his phone began to ring. He looked at it and wondered who would be calling him. He picked up the phone and placed it against his left ear. "Standish."
Ezra smiled, the dimples on his cheeks appearing, he spun his chair around so the back was facing the door. "Hey Lenny, how are you doing? . . . . Yeah I'm fine . . . . no the guys were great, they didn't push me . . . . I think Chris knew I was scared but then that's what you told him didn't you . . . . don't deny it Lenny, you forget I know you better than myself . . . . Thanks Lenny, for everything . . . . " Ezra listened for a few minutes then grimaced in frustration, the guy was more like a mother hen than a friend. "Yes Lenny I am taking care of myself . . . . no, I'm not overdoing it . . . . yes, I'm sleeping . . . . why the hell did you leave, you should have just stayed here that way you could nag me in person . . . . I know Lenny but I'm fine honest . . . . "
Chris knocked on the door and stepped into the office with the others gathering behind him, the group's leader carried the present, Buck carried the cake that he and JD made. Nathan held the cake the others bought, they were also aware of Buck and JD's cooking. Ezra pushed his chair around, he was grateful for the intrusion, if he had known Lenny was going to spend the entire phone conversation nagging him, he wouldn't have answered it. He saw Chris turn to leave but waved him back in.
"Lenny . . . . Lenny . . . . Lenny! I have to go, the others are here . . . . yes, I am eating . . . . no, I haven't put on any more weight . . . . no! that doesn't mean I'm not eating . . . . I have to go . . . . Lenny I . . . ." Ezra turned his chair back around to hide his embarrassment. "Lenny! . . . . yes, he is . . . . why? . . . . there is no need for you to . . . . okay!" Ezra hung his head and lifted the phone up in the air.
Chris didn't need to be told, he could hear Lenny calling his name over the phone. He gave Vin the present and quickly stepped forward to take the phone out of Ezra's hand.
"Larabee!" He started in an angry tone, even after everything that happened he still didn't like the guy. "Yeah he's fine . . . . no, we won't hurt him . . . . " Chris looked at Ezra's face, he was now looking up at him. "Yes, I know . . . . you told me before remember . . . . I told you he'll . . . . I . . . . but . . . . if you keep interrupting me, I'll . . . . fine . . . . we are taking care of him! . . . . " Chris had enough, he handed the phone back to Ezra.
"Lenny I really . . . . " He hung his head again. "Yes . . . . no . . . . I will . . . . okay . . . . yes . . . . goodbye Lenny." He slammed the phone down on its hook. "Sometimes that man can be worse than my mother but in an opposite way, I get nothing from one and too much from the other." Ezra muttered more to himself than the group of men who had gathered in his office.
"I'm sorry Ezra but . . . I really hate that guy!" Chris understood that Ezra knew how the two men felt about each other, they had tried for his sake but they weren't able to be friends.
"I assure you Mr Larabee that the feeling is mutual." Ezra turned around, the smile on his face showed that he hadn't been offended by the statement. "And I look forward to the many arguments you are going to have with each other."
"He's coming back?" Chris was glad he wasn't holding the present, it would have broken when it hit the floor.
"In a couple of weeks." Ezra grimaced. "He took me up on my offer of nagging me about my health in person."
Ezra leaned back in his chair when he noticed the nervous movements of Buck and JD, he looked from the cake in Buck's hands to the box in Nathan's then the wrapped present in Vin's. His green eyes moved to Chris, he raised his eyebrows in a question.
"We know we said everything we could back at the cabin Ezra but there was something else we wanted and needed to do." He nudged Vin's shoulder.
Vin stepped forward and handed Ezra the flat square object. Ezra took it, his hands were shaking, these men were doing their best to make him feel welcome, he couldn't fathom where his fear had come from, he should have know they would have gone to all this trouble for him.
"Thank you." His voice was barely a whisper but the others heard him.
"Open it Ezra." JD encouraged him, he was showing the excitement that the others didn't feel, they felt apprehension, and they weren't sure how Ezra was going to react.
Ezra first turned the present over in his hands, he pulled at the tape that held it together and revealed the framed photograph it had been hiding. He freed the frame from the paper and allowed his hands to glide over the glass, his fingers tracing the faces of the seven men, his own included. His forefinger then touched the patterned wooden frame, it was obviously expensive. His green eyes lifted, he looked at each man in turn then back down at the photograph.
"Thank you . . . I . . . " He didn't know what to say, he couldn't remove his eyes from the photo. Buck was ruffling JD's hair. Josiah had his arm around Nathan's shoulders. Chris and Vin were standing next to each other, the same smiles on their faces, they had been laughing because just before the camera was due to automatically take the photo Vin had done something that also wasn't normal for him, and he had put his arm around Ezra, his hand against his chest and pulled him into a hug. A hidden smile had formed on his own face but the camera had caught it before he was able to remove it. The mood of the photo would tell anyone who looked at it that the men in it meant a lot to each other, they looked like family. "I'll be back in a minute." Ezra put the photo down and rushed out of the room.
"Why don't you guys cut up the cake, I'll go and make sure he's okay." Chris smiled at them. They had all seen the look on Ezra's face, he accepted the photo, and his emotions were clear in his eyes. Ezra realised they thought of him as family, now he just had to admit to himself that he was part of it and they were going to help him do that.
Chris headed towards the men's room because that's where he thought Ezra was going but he saw the flash of his dark blue suit as he headed into Chris's large office. He frowned then realised what Ezra was doing, he was making sure. He stepped into the office and stood to the side of the door, Ezra hadn't notice him come in. He watched as the southerner looked at the new photo in the frame that stood on the filing cabinet, it wasn't the same as the one they had given Ezra but it did include the younger agent. Seven faces now looked out of the picture into the office. Ezra turned around, a smile on his face.
"You okay Ezra?"
"Why the photo?" Ezra answered with his own question.
"It took us too long to realise that you were family Ezra, but we wanted you to know it sooner, we thought the photo was the best way to convince you." Chris followed him out of the office and back to his own. "Are you okay Ezra?" He repeated the question.
"I think I'm going to be fine Chris."
"You’re sure?"
"Yes I'm sure." Ezra stepped into the office, he noticed the small group of men staring at the wall, and he turned in the same direction and saw the picture hanging from wall.
"We put it where you'll always see it Ezra, so if you ever need a reminder that your family all you have to do is look at it." Nathan told him.
"Thank you." Ezra felt uncomfortable and they all realised it.
"You want some more time on your own Ezra?" Josiah asked him.
"No, I think I've spent enough time alone Josiah." Ezra smiled, his eyes sparkled and his dimples appeared on his face.
"Welcome back Ezra." Chris slapped him on the back and then put his arm around the younger man's shoulders, giving him a quick reassuring brotherly hug.
Ezra smiled in return and watched as the others gathered around the cake. He looked at each man in turn and knew that they were as different to each other as he was too them but they were a family and he was now being welcomed into that family, he felt a warmth in his soul that he hadn't felt for a long time.
The End
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven
Master Fan Fiction List
Rating: PG
Warnings: Strong Language, violence and drug use.
Fandom: The Magnificent Seven
AU: ATF
Main Characters: Ezra, and the rest.
Summary: Team Seven believe that Ezra Standish has betrayed them.
Disclaimers: The guys are owned by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, and The Mirisch Corp.
Notes: Lenny Hoskins is my creation. I don't have any medical knowledge- forgive any mistakes.
Spoilers: None
Status: Complete
Total Word Count: 96,713
Ezra woke with a start when he felt the elbow hit his side, he blinked his eyes and looked over his shoulder in confusion and saw Lenny still sleeping, he gave him a foul look and laid back down with the intention of sleeping a few more hours, he felt the elbow again and gave up. He grimaced when he saw the sun's brightness filling the room, they must have slept through the morning. Ezra hung his head at the thought of the others checking on them only to find them sleeping in the same bed. He knew they would use this against him later. It was this thought that made him realise he was ready to begin the process of forgiveness but he knew he wouldn't forget. He pulled himself from the clutches of the bed covers and after pulling his boots on, he made his way quietly out of the room. He first used the bathroom although he didn't need to and then walked to the kitchen. He followed the smell of the fresh coffee that he instantly knew wasn't one of Buck's concoctions. He saw the dark figure that was sitting on the couch but chose not to acknowledge his presence, he needed his coffee first.
Ezra poured himself a large cup of coffee and helped himself to a freshly defrosted Danish. He turned to walk back into the living room and saw the clock on the oven. It read 5:45am.
"Good Lord!" He turned on his heel and walked into the living room. The anger was evident on face, he didn't try to hide it. He sat down on the couch and looked over at the eyes that were watching him carefully.
"Mr Larabee, if I am to come up here again, you will have to put a thicker curtain on that window, a man can't get his sleep when the room is so bright that you think it's the middle of the day." Ezra said angrily.
Chris was shocked at first but then his mind registered what Ezra had said, 'if I am to come up here again.' He felt the relief flood through him, it was as though a dam had held back the emotions and was now breaking and finally let them flow.
"But you have to get up early Ezra, it's the best time of the day to go fishing." Chris smiled in relief, he actually felt like getting up and giving the younger man a hug but he kept himself in control.
"I refuse to get up this ungodly hour just to go and catch a fish!" Ezra retorted. "Not that there would be any awake."
"Now you have that out of your system, tell me what your really thinking." Chris prodded.
Ezra sighed and slumped lower on the couch. "You gave me a second chance when I didn't deserve it so I decided that I would do the same. I'm not ready to forget and it may take me a while to forgive but I'm willing to give it another go." Ezra explained to his boss. "I'll stay, for a while anyway."
"You won't regret that decision Ezra, I promise you. You have my word that we won't do that again." Chris looked down into his coffee. "What about Buck and the others?"
Ezra shrugged. "I understand what JD felt, Nathan was honest from the start, I pretty much have an idea what you were thinking but I still need time to sort out what you said." Ezra looked at Chris. "Buck hasn't said much, Vin and Josiah want me to take the blame."
"I'll get them to talk to you when Lenny wakes up, I know you prefer him to be with you." Chris smiled into his coffee. "You guys seem really close. Do you often sleep together?" He refused to look up when he heard the muttered curse come from the other couch.
________________________________________
Chris could hear the muted voices as they approached the back door of the cabin, he quickly got up and walked into the kitchen to greet them. The others had decided to go and catch breakfast, it had been the first day since they arrived that they could safely venture outside without having to worry about Collins. JD was the first to enter and Chris raised his forefinger to his mouth, indicating to the younger man to be quiet.
"What's up Chris?" JD's loud voiced echoed through the kitchen and into the living room.
"Shut up JD!" Chris growled at him.
JD was shocked, he stood still and only moved forward when Buck ran into the back of him.
"Get out of the way JD." Buck pushed him further into the kitchen.
"Will you shut up!" Chris repeated. "Ezra's asleep on the couch."
"Didn't like the company in the other bed." Nathan smiled, he walked in after Buck and freed the doorway of its obstruction.
"Sorry Chris." JD muttered as he walked to the sink.
"It's not your fault JD." Ezra managed talk and yawn at the same time. He shuffled his still sleepy form towards the kitchen table and sat down heavily in the chair. "Did you catch anything?"
"Hmm?" Nathan asked him.
"Fish?" Ezra rolled his eyes.
"They weren't biting." JD told him.
Ezra turned to Chris, a mischievous smile crossed his face. "I told you they would still be sleeping."
"We weren't sleeping." JD informed him.
"He was talking about the fish JD." Chris smiled, it made him feel good to see Ezra smile properly and Lenny wasn't even in the room. But he also knew it was only a momentary thing, it wasn't as if everything that had happened was going to be swept under a carpet. It was going to take time and there were going to both good and bad moments between Ezra and the rest of the group. This was one of the good, one of the bad would be following it.
"I see you two are on more friendly terms." Josiah established.
"Well Mr Sanchez, if you put in more of an effort to talk to me then maybe things would improve with you!" Ezra retorted.
"You don't want us to talk to you while Hoskins isn't in the room remember." Vin reminded him.
Ezra stood up and walked over to Vin, he glared up into the eyes that looked so much like Lenny's. "And you treated me like shit, do you remember that!"
"Yes I do Ezra and it's something that I'll never forget." Vin's tone was sincere.
Ezra grimaced in disgust and walked away from him. He gave Chris a look on his way out of the kitchen. "See, what am I supposed to think! He keeps blaming me! I haven't even heard an apology from him or Josiah yet."
Vin made to follow Ezra but Chris stopped him with a shake of his head. "Wait for Lenny."
"You didn't. Why should we?" Vin asked angrily.
"I asked him, he said yes but Nathan stayed in the room with him." Chris nodded towards Ezra's back. "You've just made him angry, if you try talking to him now you'll end up with a bruise to match mine." He pushed against Vin's chest causing him to move back into the kitchen. "Nathan, JD, why don't you go and sit with Ezra while we make some breakfast."
"Come to keep me company have you?" Ezra asked the two men when they sat down on the other couches.
"Yeah, anything's better than being in there." JD motioned with his head. "Chris is about to clobber Vin."
"It also means that Bucks doing some of the cooking." Nathan smiled at Ezra and saw his face relax.
"I think I am going to have to forgive him just he can sit with me and not cook." Ezra stated seriously.
________________________________________
Lenny woke with a pounding headache and aching chest, he sat up and grimaced as more pain radiated from the bruises on his chest. The painkillers Nathan had given him last night had worn off but then again they weren't really painkillers, they only numb the pain not kill it. He would have laid back down but knew it would only cause more pain so he did the inevitable, he got up. He stood on trembling legs for a moment and waited to fall back down but he didn't. He still partially dressed so he walked carefully to the door and opened it. He'd only taken two steps before he felt a hand on his arm, helping him to walk. He looked into Ezra's green eyes.
"I can walk you know." Lenny informed him.
"Sure you can." Ezra smiled up at him, he wouldn't look at the dark bruises forming on his friend's chest. "That's the way Lenny, now the left foot."
Lenny pulled his arm away from him. "Get away from me, this is your fault you know." He grimaced at him.
Ezra stepped back and lifted his hands up but he also continued to walk sideways matching his friend’s steps until they reached the first couch. Lenny scowled down at Vin and Buck and they got off the seat so he could sit down. Ezra sat next to him. Lenny looked up at the person who handed him a cup of coffee and four Tylenol.
"Thanks Nathan, your taking better care of me than Ezra."
"I protest at that heinous remark upon my person." Ezra retorted.
"You're in a remarkably good mood this morning." Lenny smiled at him.
"I enjoy seeing you in pain, it makes my day better." Ezra shrugged, a look of innocence on his face.
"And here we were thinking it was because you two shared a bed last night." Chris smiled at the two, he was enjoying the remarks they continued to throw at each other.
"Can we talk now?" Buck interrupted the conversation.
"Anyone ever tell you that you have impeccable timing Mr Wilmington." Ezra's tone was heavy with sarcasm.
Buck took it as confirmation that he could start talking, Ezra hadn't said no. But he also realised that he still didn't know what to say, he sat looking at Ezra, his open mouth waiting to say something and nothing would come out.
"It's very unusual for you to be speechless Buck." Ezra actually smiled, the sorrowful look on the older man's face had drained some of the anger from him. He knew they were all sorry for what happened, even Vin and Josiah, they were just having more difficulty talking to him. He knew that Vin always had trouble showing his feelings and voicing them, he was going to have to remember that when he listened to Vin's explanation.
Buck closed his mouth then grimaced at JD who had elbowed him in the side. "Give me a minute will you!" He growled at his young friend. He looked back at Ezra who was still sitting next to Lenny, the pair were just like himself and JD, the relationship was the same, they would do anything for each other, including dying to save the other's life.
"Aw hell Ezra, I'm so sorry." He rubbed his hand through his hair and missed the rolling of Ezra's eyes. "I know I've already said that but I can't say it enough Ezra. I hate myself for what I did. I couldn't handle it when I found you doped up like that, I lost control, I'm never going to forgive myself for what I did and I won't blame you if you don't either." He looked up at Ezra, his face showing nothing of what he was feeling.
"Why did you keep kicking me?"
"I don't know Ezra." But he did, he didn't want to tell Ezra because he was afraid of how he would take it.
"That's not good enough. You kept kicking me until you cracked my ribs. I deserve a better answer than that." Ezra told him.
"Four times I kicked you, I counted each one, I even heard Nathan's voice telling to me stop but I couldn't or wouldn't, I don't know. I blocked everything out and all I could see was a drug addict, all I could hear were your grunts of pain. I wasn't able to stop until Nathan pulled me away and then all I could see was the man that I had once considered a friend. But I pushed that image away because it made it easier for me to deal with what I did." Buck hung his head and looked at the floor. He could feel everyone's eyes on him. "I know that doesn't answer your question Ezra, but I really don't know why I hit you then kicked you like that. I lost control but I don't know why. I'm sorry Ezra. I'm sorry I can't tell you why."
Ezra looked sideways at Lenny to see if he had accepted the answer Buck gave him, he could see the anger in his eyes, he didn't accept the answer. Neither did Ezra, there had to be a reason but either Buck was telling the truth and he was yet to realise what that reason was or he refused to tell him.
"There's a reason you just won't admit it Wilmington." Lenny growled at him. "Tell him why!"
"I saw what he was doing to Chris!" Buck stood up at the revelation. "He was going through the same thing he did when Sarah and Adam died and I hated you for putting him through that again."
"Damn it Buck!" Chris stood up also. "Why the hell didn't you tell me that. I would have known sooner why I was doing it!"
"Aw shit." Ezra moaned.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I saw what their deaths did to him and knew that yours would do the same thing, he does care about you, but like you he won't admit it. I hated you and when I found you like that it gave me an opportunity to give some of that hurt back."
Lenny put his arm around Ezra's shoulders and gave him the support and comfort he needed. What Buck had just said was confirmation of what Chris had said, but how could Ezra forgive him for knowing it all along. He could have put a stop to Chris's treatment of Ezra but didn't.
"I'm sorry Ezra, I worried more about what Chris was going to go through than what you were going through."
"If you say you’re sorry once more Buck I'm going to be sick!" Ezra yelled at him. He leaned over and laid his head on Lenny's shoulder.
"Ezra . . . " Buck started.
"Get the fuck away from me!" Ezra used his hand to wave him off.
"I should have told him, but all I could see was the hurt he was going through and I knew he was taking his anger out on you. I didn't stop him because of the same reason why I kicked you, he was giving back to you what you were giving him. You were hurting him and I wanted to see him hurt you."
"You fucking bastard!" Lenny pulled Ezra closer to him trying to protect him from what Buck was saying.
"Ezra?" Buck tried to get his attention but didn't receive any sort of acknowledgement from Ezra.
Ezra didn't know what to think, he was to angry, he turned his gaze to the man who knelt before him and kicked out with his left leg. It landed squarely on Buck's chest and the force of the blow threw him back against the couch that JD was sitting on.
"Now were even." Ezra said calmly. He had felt one of Buck's ribs crack beneath the heel of his boot.
"Do you want to kick me too?" Vin asked as he came forward, he stepped over Buck's slumped form. "Will it make you feel better if you hurt me?"
"It might." Ezra's tone was still calm.
"Then do it, if it will make you feel better then do it." Vin stood with his arms out stretched showing Ezra that he was going to defend himself. "If you want to do to me what we did to you then go ahead Ezra."
Ezra looked away from him and placed his head against Lenny's shoulder once more. He ignored Buck's moans of pain while Nathan examined him. It didn't make him feel any better, he was still angry. He felt another hand on his shoulder and jerked around, his fist came upwards but stopped in mid-air when he saw Chris's understanding expression.
"I'm sorry Ezra. You can't hold him responsible for what he did. It's like when he deals with a woman, his head does his thinking for him and I don't mean the one on his shoulders." Chris managed to get a small smile from the man in front of him and now that he knew, he had calmed Ezra's anger he told him what needed to be said. "Buck would do what he thought was right to protect me from being hurt but he did the wrong thing Ezra. Buck does a lot of stupid things, he always has and always will." Chris squeezed his shoulder. "What he did to you was one of those stupid things, he let some other part of his anatomy do his thinking for him, his heart, instead of his brains. He hated seeing me go through what I did after Sarah and Adam's death and there wasn't anyone he could blame or punish, but this time he found someone, he found you, he blamed you then punished you for what I went through and what I was going through. I just wished I had known sooner Ezra, I could have stopped all of it, it's my fault."
"It's not your fault." Ezra whispered.
"I started it Ezra, I beat you, I treated you with hatred, and it was my fault, all of it." Chris's own eyes were full of sadness and guilt.
"And I thought you were going to be the hardest one to forgive." Ezra looked at Buck, he could see the pain on his face as JD and Nathan lifted him up onto the couch.
"We all had our own reasons for being angry about what happened." Josiah spoke up. "Ezra, I'm sorry for not helping you, I saw that there was something wrong and I didn't talk to you, maybe if I'd been a better friend you could have confided in me, told me what was happening." Josiah came forward and knelt down in the same position as Buck had. "I'm sorry Ezra, for everything, for not being there for you before it started, for not being there during the operation but most of all for not being here for you now."
"Out of all of you I thought it would have been you and Vin who would have understood. I thought you would have tried to help me but you didn't, you still don't understand." Ezra looked at Josiah then Vin.
"I didn't understand Ezra, I thought we were friends, I thought you could confide in me but you didn't, you pushed me away, kept me in the dark, allowed me to think the worse of you." Vin saw the anger in Ezra's eyes and spoke quickly before he did decide to take him up on his offer of physically hurting him. "It's not your fault Ezra, I should never have tried to put the blame on you." Vin nodded to Lenny, asking him to let him sit down next to Ezra. The older agent thought about it for a moment then stood up but he stayed close. Vin sat down and faced Ezra just as Chris was on the other side of the smaller man. "I was angry Ezra, I don't ever remember being so angry, I thought you betrayed the friendship I fought so hard to start. I saw similar things in you that were in me and they drew me to you, I wanted to be a friend, to give you what I thought you didn't have and when you didn't confide in me I thought that what we had was a lie, that you were laughing at my efforts to befriend you. I'm sorry Ezra, I should have trusted you more, and I should have asked you what was wrong." Vin looked at Josiah then back at Ezra who was now looking at him. "I'm sorry Ezra, it wasn't your fault, and it was ours."
"Go away." Ezra told them. "All of you, go away!"
"Ezra . . . " Chris tried to talk to him.
"I need time to think Chris. Please, I have to sort this out."
"Sure Ezra, I understand. We'll be outside if you want us." He squeezed his shoulder once more then left the cabin with the others following. Buck was held up between Nathan and JD as they helped him walk out of the room.
Lenny sat back down next to his young friend, he pulled him into a hug and held him tight.
"I can't get over what Buck said." Ezra told him.
"You need to Ezra, you won't be able to forgive him otherwise."
"I don't know if I want to." Ezra admitted.
"It's got nothing to do with wanting to Ezra. You need to forgive him and the rest of them."
________________________________________
Chris watched Nathan strap Buck's chest with a bandage he had removed from the medical kit in the kitchen on the way out. The ex-medic had informed them that Ezra had cracked one of the ribs in his chest. None of them held any anger towards Ezra for what he did. They were all to blame for what happened, not Ezra. His eyes moved to lake, he was listening to Buck's muttered complaints but took no notice of them, what Buck had done was stupid, he deserved what he got, they all deserved it. He had seen the anger that Ezra felt at Buck's admission, he was now worried that Ezra was going to change his mind about staying.
"Chris!" JD repeated.
"What? Sorry JD, I was thinking."
"Do you think he's going to forgive us, stay with the team." JD repeated his question when he realised that Chris hadn't heard it the first time.
"He told me this morning that he was, that he was going to give us a second chance like I gave him but after what Buck just said in there," he shook his head, "I'm not sure anymore."
"He's going to stay." Lenny told them when he exited the back door.
"Is he okay?" Chris asked.
"Physically he's fine, I managed to talk him into getting some sleep." Lenny moved forward and leant against the railing, his back was facing the lake so he could look at the men watching him. "Emotionally, he's hurting. Chris, you know Ezra, he's going to hide his emotions, he's not going to let you know how much he's hurting so please, don't let that convince you that he's okay because he isn't, it's going to be a while before that hurt is gone."
"We're all hurting Lenny but not as much as Ezra. And no we won't allow him to convince us he's okay."
Lenny nodded. "We've still got another week of our deal." He commented as he turned around to look at the lake
that stood before him.
"What are you suggesting?" Chris raised his eyebrows even though Lenny wasn't looking at him.
"I'm suggesting we stay here, there's no hurry to go back." He turned back around. "Besides, it will give you the chance to spend some quality time with Ezra. You can start proving to him how much you do care and how sorry you really are, especially you and Wilmington."
"Thanks Lenny." Chris stood up and shook the man's hand. "If it wasn't for you we wouldn't have gotten through to him."
"As long as you realise I still don't like you and I still want to beat the shit out of all of you for what you did to him. You’re going to get Ezra's forgiveness Larabee but you aren't going to get mine."
"That's okay, we still don't like you either and maybe one day I'll let you try and beat the shit out of me." Chris smiled.
"Try?" Lenny returned the smile, the amusement that he felt showed through.
________________________________________
Ezra sat on the porch that overlooked the lake, he could see the sunset mirrored on the stillness of its waters and he found it to be comforting. He glanced sideways at Lenny then turned his eyes back to the lake. He could see the six men lining the jetty with their fishing poles, they were fishing again, trying to catch the fish that they had continuously failed to catch in the mornings. He saw the occasional glances that looked up at the house, it was as though they were afraid he would leave when they weren't looking. He was beginning to feel the need to runaway, he thought he had made the wrong decision. They had spent the last week speaking to him about what had happen, each of them going in turn to elaborate on what they had told him. Lenny and Chris stayed with him when he spoke to Buck, his anger had eased towards the older man but he hadn't forgiven him, it would still take time.
"What are you thinking about Ezra?" Lenny asked him. He knew that he wanted to talk about something.
"I'm scared Lenny." Ezra admitted. This was something he would never tell the others, he couldn't confide in them like he could Lenny.
"About what?" Lenny turned in his chair so he could give Ezra his full attention.
"About going back to work. It's easier dealing with them while you’re here, but you'll be going back to Atlanta soon, then I'm going to have to deal with them on my own. I don't know if I can do that."
"You won't be on your own Ezra, they'll help you." He nodded towards the men who were gathering up their equipment, they had given up trying to catch the elusive fish. "The first day will be the hardest part but once they welcome you back you'll be fine."
"And if they don't." He looked at Lenny.
"They will Ezra." Lenny looked back down at the six dejected men who were now walking towards them.
"I'm beginning to think I made a mistake by agreeing to stay. Maybe I should leave." Ezra hung his head and wiped his forehead with his left hand. "I don't want to get hurt again."
"Ezra look at me." He waited for his friend to turn to him. "They won't hurt you again, you'll only be hurting yourself if you leave." He could see the doubt on his young face.
"I was angry before but now all I feel is doubt that I made the wrong choice and now fear because I think they’re going to hurt me again." He looked back at the stillness of the lake hoping to take comfort in it. "They'll never understand how much they hurt me." He shook his head. "I don't know anymore Lenny."
"You told them you were going to give them a second chance, are you going to back out on that?" Lenny watched the damp eyes look up at him.
"But . . . "
"No buts Ezra, you either do it or you don't. It's your choice, I can't make your decision for you. If you want to throw it away then do it, if you want another chance at a good friendship then stay." He got out of the chair and knelt down in front of Ezra, they were both oblivious to the men who stood at the top of the steps listening to the end of the conversation. "I know what they did to you Ezra and I understand how much they hurt you. Ezra, they're hurting nearly as much as you, it's a different hurt but their feeling it as well and like you they need to get things back to normal so you can all begin to heal." He put his hands on shaking knees. "I would never lie to you Ezra. I believe you’re doing the right thing. You also know I can't stand Larabee and he's not the only one I don't like, but their good for you Ezra, in a different way to what I am."
Ezra nodded, he trusted Lenny.
"Good, now come on," he slapped Ezra's left knee, "I think they deserve some of my cooking on our last night up here, don't you."
"Only if I don't have to eat it." Ezra tried to smile.
"Ezra, I'm offended." Lenny stood up and turned towards the back door that led to the kitchen. He stopped when he saw Larabee and the others watching him and Ezra.
"You Lenny Hoskins are never offended." Ezra turned to see what his friend was looking at. He also saw the group of men who were standing at the top of the steps. "I believe that your idea has just been bitten on the butt." Ezra turned away, a larger smile playing on his lips.
________________________________________
Chris Larabee drove through the streets of Denver, the bright early morning sunlight shone off the windscreen causing him to grimace against the bright glare even though he was wearing sunglasses. His mind drifted towards the southerner who was returning to work today. It had been three weeks since they returned home and Doctor Falex had finally given Ezra a clean bill of health but he still needed to put back on a few more pounds. Chris knew Ezra still had his doubts about going back to work with the members of Team Seven, even after all this time but he wouldn't admit it to them.
Things had gone pretty well during the second week they stayed at the cabin after Ezra had decided to stay with the ATF team, they had all witnessed the strong caring relationship he had with Lenny and they hoped that one day, maybe they could have something like that with Ezra. But it would take a lot of work from both parties, Chris and the others were prepared to work at it and Ezra was willing to give them another chance. But Lenny had returned to Atlanta and now Ezra was on his own with them, he no longer had Lenny to help him deal with the still awkward situation and it was this that was giving him his doubts.
He saw the ATF building up ahead and slowed down to allow the battered jeep to pull into the security gates first. He followed Vin down into the garage and parked his dodge next to the jeep. Chris got out of the car, a smile on his face as he was prepared to greet the quiet man but it turned into a frown. He instead got Vin's attention and nodded towards the black jag that was parked further up towards the end of the garage, the driver still behind the wheel.
"I'll go." Chris handed Vin his briefcase which held the report that would finally put an end to the undercover case that Ezra had taken part in, the report closed with a recommendation that Ezra Standish receive a commendation, it also held the present the six men had pitched in for. They planned to give it to Ezra later that day. He gave Vin a reassuring smile and slowly walked up to the jag. He stopped a short distance away from the car and watched Ezra for a few moments first. The younger agent's head was leaning back on the car seat, his eyes closed. Chris thought that he might have been sleeping but he saw the brow frown in thought. He stepped forward and tapped on the window.
Ezra had been lost in his own world for the last twenty minutes. He was still having second thoughts about coming back to work, he had hoped that Falex would give him another week, he needed more time but it had run out and now here he was in the garage trying to force himself to join his fellow agents on the seventh floor of the building. He hadn't slept at all the night before and instead of dwelling on it at home he thought he would go into his office, thinking that if he arrived before everyone else did it would have been easier for him, but it wasn't, he hadn't been able to get out of the car. Ezra had noticed Buck and JD arrive earlier but they had been to boisterous to notice him sitting in his car. Nathan followed a short time later, then Josiah, neither of them seeing him or pretending not to see him, he decided it was the latter, they were to observant not to see him there. He was grateful for the time and space they had given him.
He fought against starting the engine of the expensive car and going home, he was about to give in to the urge when he heard the knock on the driver's window. The sound that broke through the silence in the car caused Ezra to jump, his head nearly hitting the roof of the car. He turned his surprised expression sideways and saw Chris looking down at him. His poker face quickly fell into place as his arm reached forward to wind down the window but Chris didn't give him a chance to, the dark clad leader opened the door and knelt down in front of him.
"You coming inside Ezra?" Chris smiled up at him, he knew the poker face was hiding the doubts the younger man was feeling.
Ezra looked down at him then over his shoulder towards Vin who was standing at the elevator, he saw the gentle smile that crossed his face. His green eyes turned back to Chris and he nodded at him without saying anything, he didn't trust his voice to stay calm. Chris stood up and waited. It took Ezra another few minutes before he actually got out of his car, his leader closed the door for him. Ezra was still hesitant, he watched as Chris took the lead and began to walk towards Vin. Once he took his first step, he found the others to be easier and reached the elevator a few steps behind Chris.
"Good to have you back Ezra." Vin slapped him on the back and left his hand there for a couple of seconds, long enough to feel the tension in the agent's shoulders.
Ezra nodded again. Vin leaned back and looked across at Chris who shook his head in return indicating that he didn't want to push Ezra into anything before he was ready, to let him take things at his own pace. The elevator arrived and the three men stepped into it and stood in silence during the ride to the seventh floor.
"You will protect me from Buck and JD won't you?" Ezra didn't think he could handle those two, not yet, he needed to settle down into his office first. He was sure the two men would overdo if they welcomed him back, their voices would be too loud, the slaps on the back too hard. No, they were the last thing he wanted right now.
"Sure Ezra." Chris smiled at him, he knew exactly what the smaller man was talking about. Buck and JD always meant well but sometimes their exuberance was too much for a person to handle.
When the elevator finally stopped and the doors opened, Ezra had decided that he wanted to go back home, he stepped back away from the two men who had been flanking him and only stopped when his back hit an obstruction.
"Ezra?" Chris saw the flash of fear in the green eyes that darted from the open corridor to the man who stood in front of him. He moved forward and placed his arm on the smaller man's right shoulder. "You have nothing to worry about Ezra. We're never going to let you down like that again. You have my word."
"We all promised you Ezra and we're going to keep that promise." Vin added, he saw the fear in the bright greens leave, only to be replaced by the nagging doubt Ezra had since listening to their apologies and agreeing to stay. But Vin knew that even though he was finally beginning to forgive them, he wasn't going to forget what they had done to him. And he knew the rest of the group wouldn't either.
Chris knew what Ezra was feeling, Lenny had confided in him before he left town. Ezra was afraid of allowing them back in only to have them hurt him again, to turn their backs on him and leave him alone. They had destroyed the trust and friendship that had begun to grow and Ezra's emotional defence had become even stronger, they had proven to him beyond a doubt what he thought was true, that they had never trusted him or considered him a friend. Now they had to work even harder to gain back what they had lost. But more than that, Ezra was afraid of not being welcomed back, that they were only doing this out of guilt. Lenny had tried to convince him otherwise but hadn't succeeded, it was up to them to prove to the southerner that he was now a part of the family. They were going to have to encourage the younger agent all the way, assure him that he was an important member of the group. Chris knew it would take time but as long as they worked at it then things will turn out to be fine, they would be able to convince the younger agent he was now one of them and they weren't willing to let him go.
Chris and Vin grabbed a forearm each and gently forced him out of the elevator before the doors closed on them and lead him along the hallway that led to his office. They hadn't even gained any distance when the sound of JD's laughter filled the small area, warning them that the two men were on their way. Chris felt Ezra pull away from him and move behind him as he tried to hide himself from the two agents. Chris felt the guilt squeeze at his heart, they had completely destroyed everything, Ezra had even become afraid of them. His fear of being hurt had come to the forefront of his mind blocking out all the anger he had felt and it overwhelmed him causing him to lose control in front of them.
He motioned to Vin to say with Ezra while he went and spoke to Buck and JD. Ezra stood partially hidden behind Vin, he watched as Buck and JD looked towards him, an expression of guilt and sympathy on their faces, then understanding. They moved towards him as a group and Vin had to grab his arm to stop him running.
"Ezra, I'm glad you came back." Buck squeezed his shoulder.
"It wouldn't be the same without you Ezra, I mean that." JD smiled and brushed his annoying dark hair back from his face.
"We didn't expect you in so early." Buck continued in a quite tone. Chris had told him that Ezra was actually afraid of being back and if they did or said anything wrong, he would leave. Buck could see a mixture of fear and doubt in the southerner's eyes and he knew the emotions had to be strong for Ezra not to be able to hide them.
"Couldn't sleep." Ezra didn't want to get into a conversation, he just wanted to get to his office, he needed a chance to get in control, he knew they could see what he was feeling, and he hadn't been able to control his fear. The fear that he had felt since arriving had shocked him. Before their explanations, he had felt nothing but anger and then afterwards he was full of doubt and now it was fear. He didn't want to be hurt again, and he was afraid that these men would do that. They had the best intentions but he had a nagging doubt at the back of his mind. Lenny had told him his childhood fears were trying to take control, the child in him didn't want to get close and be put in another situation where the friendships would begin to build up again only to be torn down once more.
"It's good to have you back." Buck took JD's arm and began to lead him away but turned to the smaller man who now stood beside him. "We'll give you some time Ezra, maybe later we could have some coffee and cake." He watched as an expression of suspicion came over Ezra's face, the eyebrows raised in a questioning frown.
"Homemade, JD and I thought we would make you one as a welcome back present."
"Good Lord." Ezra moaned. "I am not eating anything that was made by you in that cesspit you call an apartment."
"Now that's the Ezra we know and love." Buck slapped his back harder than he should have and knocked him towards Chris who had to catch him before he fell down.
Ezra was surprised by the words Buck had used and thought that maybe things would be alright after all. He lifted his head to see Chris holding back his laughter, he grimaced up at the man causing his laughter to escape. "If that is what you call protection Mr Larabee I suggest you try harder next time." He pushed himself away from him and saw the guilt that took control of his boss, he instantly regretted his words. Ezra smiled at him and winked. "Now if you'll excuse me I am going to call Doctor Falex and inform him of my impending arrival due to food poisoning."
"You better tell him to expect all of us." Chris smiled back. He hid his concern over Ezra's frequent changes of mood. Lenny had warned him that Ezra would be like that and as long as he was it meant that he was still healing.
"Hey! There is nothing wrong with our cooking." Buck protested.
"Tell that to your cat Mr Wilmington." Ezra told him as he was escorted to his office.
"Ezra, we don't have a cat." JD called after him.
"Exactly my point Mr Dunne." Ezra smiled over his shoulder at them.
They continued on to the office at the end of the hallway, passing Josiah and Nathan's offices on their way, both of them were empty. Ezra felt the fear grow again. He knew the two men were here and they would have heard their voices but they were not going to greet him and welcome him back to the group like the others had done. His steps slowed and Chris and Vin slowed with him.
"You okay Ezra?" Vin asked him. Ezra had been back to his normal self for a moment but something was bringing the fear back.
"No." Ezra admitted to them. "I don't think I can do this."
"You've come this far Ezra, you can't stop now besides if you can deal with those two you can deal with anything else." Chris gave his arm a comforting squeeze.
"Ezra! Your early." Josiah called out as he came out of Ezra's office.
"We didn't expect you till later." Nathan explained as he too left the office that Josiah had just vacated.
"There is no use denying that you saw me in the car park when you arrived this morning." Ezra told them.
"Yeah we saw you, didn't want to push you Ezra, we knew you would come in when you were ready." Josiah came forward. "I'm really glad you came back brother."
Ezra raised his eyebrow, these men were surprising him, and his green eyes turned to Nathan. He glanced down at the hand that was hidden behind the larger man's back. He could see the hammer that he was trying to hide.
"Oh this." Nathan removed the object he thought was hidden. "Your computer needed fixing."
"I doubt that Mr Jackson."
"Sorry Ezra, but I can't tell you what it's for. It's a secret, you'll find out later." Nathan told him. He was surprised that Ezra hadn't heard the hammering. It was their job to put the nail in the wall and to make sure the position was right so Ezra would be able to put his present where he would always see it.
"I'm hoping it will be used to destroy the cake that was made in my honour?" Ezra asked him.
"That too." Nathan nodded at the suggestion. "Ezra, I'm sure everyone's told you that their happy your back and I want you to know that were grateful to you for giving us another chance to prove that you're part of this family."
Ezra nodded instead of speaking, he hadn't expected this. He knew they were sincere in their words and it drove his fear away. But he knew that it would come back, it would be a while before he would be able to get rid of it. Like his friends, he was willing to work at it.
"Could you guys give me some time alone?" Ezra kept his eyes downcast.
"Sure Ezra but don't think we’re going to leave on your own for too long. We have something for you so we'll be back later." Chris informed him. He saw the smile tugging at Ezra's lips. Yes, things were going to be fine.
________________________________________
Ezra had been sitting in his office for the last two hours, he had been thinking about things. His fear had been reduced and he was beginning to feel more comfortable about being back, Lenny had been right, after the first initial greetings were over he would be fine and he was, he knew there was still a lot of work to do but the hardest part was over. His thoughts were disturbed by the loud voices that were outside his office, he listened to Buck and JD argue over the cake they had made, one of them insisting that it was chocolate while the other claimed it was carrot. Then both realised that what they had made was a chocolate carrot cake. Ezra shook his head.
"There is no way I'm eating that!" he yelled from his position behind his desk. He smiled when he heard the protests that were yelled back at him.
He was about to give them a nasty retort when his phone began to ring. He looked at it and wondered who would be calling him. He picked up the phone and placed it against his left ear. "Standish."
Ezra smiled, the dimples on his cheeks appearing, he spun his chair around so the back was facing the door. "Hey Lenny, how are you doing? . . . . Yeah I'm fine . . . . no the guys were great, they didn't push me . . . . I think Chris knew I was scared but then that's what you told him didn't you . . . . don't deny it Lenny, you forget I know you better than myself . . . . Thanks Lenny, for everything . . . . " Ezra listened for a few minutes then grimaced in frustration, the guy was more like a mother hen than a friend. "Yes Lenny I am taking care of myself . . . . no, I'm not overdoing it . . . . yes, I'm sleeping . . . . why the hell did you leave, you should have just stayed here that way you could nag me in person . . . . I know Lenny but I'm fine honest . . . . "
Chris knocked on the door and stepped into the office with the others gathering behind him, the group's leader carried the present, Buck carried the cake that he and JD made. Nathan held the cake the others bought, they were also aware of Buck and JD's cooking. Ezra pushed his chair around, he was grateful for the intrusion, if he had known Lenny was going to spend the entire phone conversation nagging him, he wouldn't have answered it. He saw Chris turn to leave but waved him back in.
"Lenny . . . . Lenny . . . . Lenny! I have to go, the others are here . . . . yes, I am eating . . . . no, I haven't put on any more weight . . . . no! that doesn't mean I'm not eating . . . . I have to go . . . . Lenny I . . . ." Ezra turned his chair back around to hide his embarrassment. "Lenny! . . . . yes, he is . . . . why? . . . . there is no need for you to . . . . okay!" Ezra hung his head and lifted the phone up in the air.
Chris didn't need to be told, he could hear Lenny calling his name over the phone. He gave Vin the present and quickly stepped forward to take the phone out of Ezra's hand.
"Larabee!" He started in an angry tone, even after everything that happened he still didn't like the guy. "Yeah he's fine . . . . no, we won't hurt him . . . . " Chris looked at Ezra's face, he was now looking up at him. "Yes, I know . . . . you told me before remember . . . . I told you he'll . . . . I . . . . but . . . . if you keep interrupting me, I'll . . . . fine . . . . we are taking care of him! . . . . " Chris had enough, he handed the phone back to Ezra.
"Lenny I really . . . . " He hung his head again. "Yes . . . . no . . . . I will . . . . okay . . . . yes . . . . goodbye Lenny." He slammed the phone down on its hook. "Sometimes that man can be worse than my mother but in an opposite way, I get nothing from one and too much from the other." Ezra muttered more to himself than the group of men who had gathered in his office.
"I'm sorry Ezra but . . . I really hate that guy!" Chris understood that Ezra knew how the two men felt about each other, they had tried for his sake but they weren't able to be friends.
"I assure you Mr Larabee that the feeling is mutual." Ezra turned around, the smile on his face showed that he hadn't been offended by the statement. "And I look forward to the many arguments you are going to have with each other."
"He's coming back?" Chris was glad he wasn't holding the present, it would have broken when it hit the floor.
"In a couple of weeks." Ezra grimaced. "He took me up on my offer of nagging me about my health in person."
Ezra leaned back in his chair when he noticed the nervous movements of Buck and JD, he looked from the cake in Buck's hands to the box in Nathan's then the wrapped present in Vin's. His green eyes moved to Chris, he raised his eyebrows in a question.
"We know we said everything we could back at the cabin Ezra but there was something else we wanted and needed to do." He nudged Vin's shoulder.
Vin stepped forward and handed Ezra the flat square object. Ezra took it, his hands were shaking, these men were doing their best to make him feel welcome, he couldn't fathom where his fear had come from, he should have know they would have gone to all this trouble for him.
"Thank you." His voice was barely a whisper but the others heard him.
"Open it Ezra." JD encouraged him, he was showing the excitement that the others didn't feel, they felt apprehension, and they weren't sure how Ezra was going to react.
Ezra first turned the present over in his hands, he pulled at the tape that held it together and revealed the framed photograph it had been hiding. He freed the frame from the paper and allowed his hands to glide over the glass, his fingers tracing the faces of the seven men, his own included. His forefinger then touched the patterned wooden frame, it was obviously expensive. His green eyes lifted, he looked at each man in turn then back down at the photograph.
"Thank you . . . I . . . " He didn't know what to say, he couldn't remove his eyes from the photo. Buck was ruffling JD's hair. Josiah had his arm around Nathan's shoulders. Chris and Vin were standing next to each other, the same smiles on their faces, they had been laughing because just before the camera was due to automatically take the photo Vin had done something that also wasn't normal for him, and he had put his arm around Ezra, his hand against his chest and pulled him into a hug. A hidden smile had formed on his own face but the camera had caught it before he was able to remove it. The mood of the photo would tell anyone who looked at it that the men in it meant a lot to each other, they looked like family. "I'll be back in a minute." Ezra put the photo down and rushed out of the room.
"Why don't you guys cut up the cake, I'll go and make sure he's okay." Chris smiled at them. They had all seen the look on Ezra's face, he accepted the photo, and his emotions were clear in his eyes. Ezra realised they thought of him as family, now he just had to admit to himself that he was part of it and they were going to help him do that.
Chris headed towards the men's room because that's where he thought Ezra was going but he saw the flash of his dark blue suit as he headed into Chris's large office. He frowned then realised what Ezra was doing, he was making sure. He stepped into the office and stood to the side of the door, Ezra hadn't notice him come in. He watched as the southerner looked at the new photo in the frame that stood on the filing cabinet, it wasn't the same as the one they had given Ezra but it did include the younger agent. Seven faces now looked out of the picture into the office. Ezra turned around, a smile on his face.
"You okay Ezra?"
"Why the photo?" Ezra answered with his own question.
"It took us too long to realise that you were family Ezra, but we wanted you to know it sooner, we thought the photo was the best way to convince you." Chris followed him out of the office and back to his own. "Are you okay Ezra?" He repeated the question.
"I think I'm going to be fine Chris."
"You’re sure?"
"Yes I'm sure." Ezra stepped into the office, he noticed the small group of men staring at the wall, and he turned in the same direction and saw the picture hanging from wall.
"We put it where you'll always see it Ezra, so if you ever need a reminder that your family all you have to do is look at it." Nathan told him.
"Thank you." Ezra felt uncomfortable and they all realised it.
"You want some more time on your own Ezra?" Josiah asked him.
"No, I think I've spent enough time alone Josiah." Ezra smiled, his eyes sparkled and his dimples appeared on his face.
"Welcome back Ezra." Chris slapped him on the back and then put his arm around the younger man's shoulders, giving him a quick reassuring brotherly hug.
Ezra smiled in return and watched as the others gathered around the cake. He looked at each man in turn and knew that they were as different to each other as he was too them but they were a family and he was now being welcomed into that family, he felt a warmth in his soul that he hadn't felt for a long time.
The End
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven
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